Chapter 265: 364

A FEW HOURS BEFORE DINNER
John felt uncomfortable. He didn't know how to explain it but he just kept thinking about it. The pouch in his suitcase. It was still there, he hadn't thrown it out, he always said that he would do it later, and later seemed to become never. His dark eyes landed on the small black suitcase and he gulped. Maybe one more time? Should he do it one more time? He wondered, stretching his fingers. 
"John?" Soran's voice reached him, calling his name he flinched, suddenly pulled away from his thoughts. "Are you alright? You seem concerned about something." he asked him, worry written all over his handsome face. He had done it again, he had worried Soran with his childish thinking. He had to flash that thing down the toilet. There was no other way. 
"No, no it's okay. I was just staring into nothingness." he lied, forcing a small smile and Soran nodded, patting his head. Olivia called her older brother from outside, the white haired man excusing himself before he walked away to talk to her. 
When Soran was outside, the door closed behind him John jumped up, opening the zipper of the heavy suitcase in a hurry, searching frantically through his clothes to find the pouch that had been tormenting him all this time. He clicked his tongue, annoyed that it took so much time and dug his hand depper  finally feeling the velvety sensation in his palm. He pulled it out, locking his gaze on it. For a second, he stopped moving, feeling sweat beams form in the sides of his forehead he felt tempted again, right there, in his hands was the means to complete relaxation, the peace he couldn't find within himself. If he just opened it, if he just did it one more time before he…
"John, I am back…" Soran's voice echoed in the silent room and the boy flinched, the pouch falling off his hand and landing on the floor, opening, its insides being spilled all over the floor, purple dust scattering everywhere. 
Soran stood still, the dust reaching the tip of his shoes and he looked at it, knowing very well what it was. He raised his head, locking angry eyes with John who had gotten ten shades lighter. He was pale, his dark eyes round while he felt his mouth get dry. 
"You lied to me." Soran stated. "You said that you didn't have any more. You told me that you wouldn't do it again!" he shouted at him, making the werewolf shrink, scared. 
"I'm sorry. I wasn't planning to do it…I…."
"Are you lying to me again?" Soran asked him, the tone of his voice raised, his hands forming fists as his face slowly turned red. He was mad at him, truly mad, John realized and gulped. He had never seen him like that, the always calm and peaceful Soran seemed to be fuming. "This is serious John, do you understand how dangerous that stuff is? Ask Xan, his lover died because of it and with your history then…" 

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"I'm sorry." John said, his head dropping with embarrassment. He had been with Soran less than a day and somehow he had managed to make him mad. As always things started badly for him. 
"Were you planning on doing it again?" Soran asked him, his dark stare cold towards the young werewolf. John knew he should lie, tell him that he just wanted to throw that damned pouch away but he felt guilty. Lying two times in a row, his heart couldn't take it, the weight on his chest. 
"I don't know…" John mumbled. "I thought about it. About the way that it would make me feel. I wanted to throw it out, I swear but when I had it in my hands I knew it would be the only thing that would give me peace…I…I am weak minded and…" 
"No…" Soran interrupted him, his voice becoming a bit more gentle. A sigh escaped from his lips and he moved towards him, crouching to get closer. He looked right into his eyes, dark orbs looking at him with pure compassion as he placed his cold hand on his burning red cheek. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I was just worried. Please, don't throw away all your progress and this peace you're looking for, if you acquire it through this drug…" he said, looking at the purple dust on the floor. "...it will be fake if you use such methods. Made up and in the end it will simply make you feel more depressed. You know that without me having to tell you. I know it's hard, the strength you have John, the battles you have won are harder than what most of us have been through. I am not an expert and I know I can't just magically fix the pain in your heart but I want to ask you something…" 
"What is it?" John asked. Tears had gathered in the corners of his eyes because of Soran's words. He wasn't mad, he was worried. He was worried because he cared. This thought process, this happening of someone cared was so rare that his mind always thought of the worst.
"This peace you're looking for, how about I help you? We can try and find it together." he said, making John cry. The young werewolf wailed, waterfalls being released from his deer-like eyes as he fell into Soran's open embrace, feeling his support. He couldn't believe it, he couldn't fathom that he heard him say something like that. His heart was racing, beating because he was alive. He was glad he had survived just to experience a moment like this. 
"Yes, please." he told him and felt Soran kiss the top of his head. 
...
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