Chapter 4: Chapter IV: The Retirement from His Fate (III)

“Unforgivable….!”

 

Midnight felt someone scowl at him from behind him. When he turned around, the source was no longer there. He didn’t really need to see to know who it was. It was more than obvious since there is only one who would react that way, considering everything that has happened so far.

 

He didn’t really pay much mind to it.

 

Groooooowl.

 

Instead, it was his stomach that won his attention. “Right, I haven’t eaten yet,” he placed his hand on his lower abdomen. I’ll deal with it later. It wasn’t a rare occurrence for him to skip a meal despite how little he already eats on a daily basis. Besides, he only ate to survive. He had better things to worry about.

 

As he walked, Midnight had just recalled a fact he learned from his loops. Despite the beginning of the loop starting at any time in his room, the events after differed. It wasn’t only because of his choices that kept changing. There was an external factor, albeit an assumption. It wasn’t like he didn’t ask. The one he questioned always dodged the question.

 

No matter. He hasn’t awakened so I wouldn’t be able to ask.

 

That being said, Midnight was aware how in his previous loops, his father was alone in his study while he may not be in this one. With an unfazed knock, he opened the door, expecting his father—and probably a guest—inside the study.

 

Indeed, the man was there with a guest. Well, two of them.

 

“Lord Carwyn…His esteemed guests.” Midnight bowed as if he was also one of the guests. Of course, it was not true. In the room was his father and his brother, plus one; it was because of the latter that he had this front.

 

“Mid…night?” The head of the manor was baffled, raising a brow in clear confusion whilst his brother stood there in silence with wide eyes.

 

Edward Carwyn, the head of said family and the country’s most important figure other than the royal family. This was due to the fact he was a Carwyn but because of his achievements thus far. The House of Carwyn was already notable for their unwavering wealth and direct relation to the Holy God; it was Edward who, however, stretched their name far and wide.  It was him who made the current queen of the kingdom feel threatened for the first time in all her years of reign.

 

Unlike his predecessors, Edward was a man who knew when to rely on talents out of the family name. Despite the wealth and influence the Carwyn name had, no one was able to draw out its full potential. At the young and blessed age of 21, right after his birthday, he had invested in building a prestigious school for the gifted.  Year after year since it was built, students who have graduated were accepted into high positions, be in the palace or amongst the world’s best of the best. He himself had hand-picked the first batch of students and teachers that led to its success today. Now, people from other parts of the world come to Yevia just to become a student in the academy for the gifted.

 

“Good evening, I apologize deeply for the sudden appearance,” Midnight entered the room and stood in front of the desk, passing by the other guest that sat on the couch. Unlike the men he shared blood with, he merely watched with an unreadable expression; Midnight noticed, just didn’t care enough at the moment. “I understand you may have guests right now but I need to speak with you.”

 

Getting a grip on himself, Edward shook his head. While he did not expect his youngest son to visit him at all, knowing their relationship, he remained a stoic composure. “Lord Williams, will it be alright with you?”

 

“Not a problem. You can take your time since my arrival was sudden anyway~ Besides, it seems like he’s itching to tell you something.”

 

Midnight’s brow was raised. Do I really seem that way? No, he didn’t, the man was just a strange one.

 

“Father, I’ll escort Francis out, but I wish to stay and listen,” the older brother had a similar stoic expression like his father, only that he had a hint of concern.

 

With a look from Edward to Midnight, the youngest son nodded. “It won’t matter to me if he wants to hear what I have to say.” Thus, Nathaniel escorted Francis out of the room, quickly heading back inside and standing by his father’s side again.

 

Edward cleared his throat, ready to listen, “Well then, what is it you want, Midnight? It’s unlike you to approach me for any reason at all.”

 

“Lord Carwyn, it has been years since our last interaction. I know this is unusual but this will be the first and last time I’ll ever ask something from you.”

 

“...And that is?”

 

“I want to leave this mansion and live on my own.”

 

 

 

 

“Come again?”

 

Midnight took a deep breath and sighed, “I said what I said. I want to leave. For good.”

 

A troubled look followed after Edward’s shock and confusion; something his eldest did not expect to see apart from Midnight’s sudden appearance. Never had it once crossed the head’s mind that Midnight would ask such a request. Yet, deep down, a part of him knew that this was inevitable. Even after all he did to provide for the youngest despite not seeing him often.

 

Yes, Edward believed he did what he could. Regardless of who his mother was, Midnight was still his son. He ordered Mathilde to take care of him but he supposed that wasn’t enough to satisfy his needs. It’s not like he couldn’t do it himself, he had his reasons.

 

“Was it not enough?” Edward’s mouth slipped as he was deep in his thoughts over his son’s question.

 

“Not enough? What do you mean, my Lord?”

 

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Taking another look at him, the head noticed his clothes. “You’re wearing Austan’s old clothes.”

 

“Yes, what of it?”

 

“Do you not have your own?”

 

Midnight had an irking that he knew why Edward was asking him about his clothes. He decided to answer honestly, “I did have my own. They’re all tattered and hideous though.”

 

He did not anticipate the next reaction.

 

“What? How is that possible? All these years, I made sure to have Mathilde send you new clothes every now and then. Specifically because you asked her to ask me.”

 

 

 

 

She did, w h a t?

 

 

 

 

No matter how many times he looped, Midnight would have never forgotten everything Mathilde and his family did to him. He can recount each and every time the maid “disciplined” him, especially thanks to the multiple scars she had inflicted on his body: how she allowed him to starve numerous nights as a growing child; how each and every resource available in the manor was off-limits to him; how he was forbidden to leave his room unless it was a scheduled chore; how she never let anyone come to his room to clean it up; how he had to suffer all on his own.

 

He knew it all. It was impossible to forget such trauma–

 

–or so he thought.

 

A feeling all too familiar to him swelled up inside. Midnight felt his heart throb in pain as though knives were poking enough to inflict the subtle pain, rather than burst stab through it. Because of how spontaneous it was, he flinched and held his chest. This…this is… I thought it didn’t matter to me anymore–

 

“Midnight?!” Nathaniel was the first to move from his spot, approaching his brother with unexpected concern on the youngest’s part. “Are you alright?!” Their father stood up abruptly and went to him as well, his hand on his back.

 

Since his last loop, he promised himself that in the next, whatever was inflicted to him would all be bygones because he was going to change his fate.

 

Yet, here he was—

 

I won’t let it trigger. Not like this. 

 

—The power that was always the reason for his demise was ready to devour him once more.

 

“Take deep breaths, Midnight.” Said man felt soothing rubs on his back, while he felt a subtle warmth on his hands. He looked to father and brother; they were comforting and healing him.

 

Something was amiss.

 

These people, his family, were the main reason why he was left with Mathilde his entire childhood. They shared concern for his well-being, not even once. They never even once glanced at him.

 

So, why…are they like this to me now? After all those loops?

 

After the breathing exercises and the healing, Midnight felt a sudden drowsiness. Before he knew it, he fell limp and lost consciousness. It was Nathaniel who caught him, holding onto his fragile brother. He looked at his father, “He’s asleep……Father, he’s so..light…”

 

Edward frowned, taking Midnight himself to feel his weight as well. “You’re right. Abnormally light.”

 

 

 

“Take him to a room. Then, come back here. It is time we find out the truth.”