Chapter 6: 6

In Over One’s Head

Chapter 02. My cousin’s visit.

The weather has been sunny these past few days. Like someone fevered to see the sea, I’d lay against the wall to peer out at it. 

I wish it had stopped there, but I was so overwhelmed by inexplicable emotions that I couldn’t get drunk off them. To hear “Yere, Yere,” made me feel proud. Somehow, I derived a sense of responsibility to protect the wall, a sense that became the source of my troubles because it led me to impulsively visit my teacher. I asked her to give me more homework. I said I lacked knowledge and demanded double. 

‘More?’

The teacher, who came out while teaching Sandoria, asked suspiciously. The strict teacher seemed inclined to refuse. I should have gone back from there. 

‘The amount of homework given now must have been sufficient.’

Whether it was the fear of rejection or my newly acquired disposition that was offensive, I had an ominous feeling. I recalled what my grandfather told me. You’re my granddaughter. Those words emboldened me to seek out my teacher. It was not difficult to ramble out words. I closed my eyes and moved my tongue. I said that studying was fun.

‘Really?’

I was given a book the size of an arm. I thought the teacher was joking when she told me I had until tomorrow to memorize it. However, it became clear it was no joke after she told me she’d be checking tomorrow. 

Thanks to that, I couldn’t interpret the meaning of the text, so my head broke, and since my head was broken, the fun quickly ran away. My arrogance made a stealth exit. I had to face the music.

In the beginning, I was planning to press the teacher’s nose down. I thought it would be okay if I was able to hang on for the rest of the day. 

I wrote down the contents and memorized the book. I even ripped the pages from the book, one after another and put them in my mouth.  I skipped mealtime and ran. 

“Should I give up?”

Even if I memorized it by heart, my progress was at a snail’s pace. I spent the whole day thinking about whether or not I should swallow the entire book. The moon rose in the sky, but I hadn’t finished even half of it yet. The ink I memorized and written was a waste.

Why is my body persuaded to nap only when I study? My eyes closed for a little while, which meant I woke up around dawn to an owl’s cry. 

Soon the sun would rise. I clenched my teeth when I saw the book that I still had half left to memorize. After gritting my teeth painfully, I put the book aside. Since the bell rang anyway, I was thinking about why I would read more. 

Should I pretend to be sick?

No. Whether from a teacher or a snake, you’d know if they spewed poison. The teacher practically made fun of me when I said the amount of homework given couldn’t be considered much. There’s no way. 

There is no way I can get out of paying the price for my self-inflicted ugliness. I took a deep breath and threw myself on the bed.

Still, resentment is resentment, and if I’ve made it this far on the topic, I’ve done very well. I was about to go back to sleep with my blanket thrown on, but I heard the doorknob turn. Who’s coming in before the sun rises? 

Is it the maid? Is she bringing my breakfast already? As soon as I thought about it, I heard my stomach growl. The intruder giggled as he heard the sound spread throughout the room. Kir Kir. None of the maid’s voices were that husky. I sat up straight and looked at the door.

“Surprise!”

It was a tall, tall boy. Like my mother, he had red hair, and in his hand, were strange wildflowers. He held a flower to my nose. I closed my eyes and felt the flower being placed on my face. Then the boy laughed brightly.

“This Edrid came after riding a horse all night just to make you feel better. You got a flower, but the response is…….”

I finally opened my eyes to see Edrid or whatever. His yellow eyes stared at me as if he was embarrassed. This intruder’s mouth was wide open.

“Who are you?”

What is this idiot saying? I wasn’t even studying but I was so annoyed I felt like dying.

“That’s what I want to say. Who are you?”

“Me? Me?”

“Can’t you speak properly?”

The red-haired boy looked hurt as he closed his mouth. I sighed as I got up to push him away. I closed my book and put it aside, then put the cap back on the ink bottle. I didn’t want to show my desk to others.

“Did I mistake the room?”

It seemed his business was with Sandoria. I hurled the words at him.

“Second room from the right.”

“Huh?”

“Are your ears blocked?”

The boy turned red and snorted, as if mad. I was the one who should be angry, and I was becoming angrier. This was our first-time meeting, and I was speechless. 

“You speak so rudely.”

“Get out.”

“Oh my god.” 

As if in shock the boy covered his mouth. I hated guys that were simpletons the most.  People who can’t understand words but continue to cling and act petty. I wanted him to leave, but he kept jumping around in front of me.

“You’ll regret it if you know who I am.”

Those who can’t understand the situation but continue to spout petty criticism are the type you need to beat up. When I raised my fist, the startled boy stepped back. 

“You’ll regret it!”

“Can’t you leave?”

While running away, he sputtered the words ‘Wait and see!’ Ugh. It was a sign that today would be unlucky.

* * *

The next day, I learned the name of the boy who broke into my room was Edrid, and that he is the son of my mother’s brother, the current head of the Lante family. He is Sandoria’s close friend and a comforting brother. Recently, I heard that my grandfather invited him to be of comfort for the depressed Sandoria and to introduce him to me.

“Give it to me. Is this all you’ve learned?”

“Give it back.”

“I’ll teach you, so listen carefully. Here….”

“Aren’t you going to give it to me?”

Edrid drew closer, acting as if it was his first time seeing me. I have never been this intimate with children of my own age. From then on, Edrid showed up from time to time, stealing my books and making fun of me, so I’d chase him and kick him in the stomach.

“Argh!”

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Edrid would roll around grabbing his stomach in an exaggerated fashion, playing with me like he would a little brother. I guess it’s fun to bare my teeth and chase someone. 

“Ah!”

As Edrid ran around with my book he found Sandoria. He dropped my book and ran straight for the child.

“Ria!”

My red-haired cousin Edrid hugged Sandoria and smiled brightly. He spoke as if it had been a long time since seeing her, he’d even run while holding her. 

I tried not to care about them as much as possible. I picked up the book that Edrid had tossed and began to carefully read it again. Just in case there was something difficult to understand, I sat with a dictionary next to me so I could look it up on my own. 

“She’s a funny girl.”

“Huh?”

I heard Edrid saying that about me. Sandoria sounded embarrassed. She seemed somewhat insecure. 

“I thought it took a week to memorize half of it. Can you believe it? She memorized half of it in a day!”

Even though they obviously knew I was listening, the two continued to talk like that. No, Edrid was doing all the talking. Sandoria didn’t speak. Although Edrid didn’t mean for his words to be a compliment, that was how I took it. Which secretly made me happy, even though I’d forgotten about half of content because I memorized it stupidly. It was a secret I alone would know and carry.

Edrid opened his mouth nonstop. When I struggled to pick up a verse I’d ask, and eventually I was able to memorize the words by heart. Edrid seemed to be interested in me since then. So, he tried to tease me once or twice, but he was sitting with me because it was fun.

Sandoria didn’t seem to care much about me. It felt as if I was the only one who found this situation to be awkward and uncomfortable. At some point, the two who stood chatting from afar had disappeared. Maybe it was the absence of Edrid, who was a naughty colt*, that made the silence that followed unpleasant.   

(*Colt= new born horse. In Korean, calling someone a colt is essentially similar to saying a person is naughty, witty or inexperienced.)

Eventually, I went back to my room. Often when I was alone, I experienced the same feeling. 

My world was small, but Sandoria’s world was colorful. That child had a mother, a father who died, a grandfather, and a cousin to comfort her. It was different from me who had to fight for my life.  

I peered through the window to see Sandoria and Edrid taking a walk. The two looked friendly, but Sandoria’s face remained gloomy. It seemed only Edrid’s mouth was moving. When I closed the curtain, I was filled with an unexplainable sorrow. That day, I didn’t feel like reading a book.

* * *

The teacher often quarrelled with me because I am weak in foreign languages. But I knew she didn’t do it with malicious intent.

“Your head is no different than a stone.”

“The name is confusing. It’s difficult.”

“Everyone else memorized it. If you don’t want to memorize it, turn around and leave.”

As soon as the teacher’s cold voice fell, I bumped my nose into the book. It was a record of the nobles’ family tree. It detailed everything from the position of Yereka down to minor nobility. I was told only when I memorized this could I serve as a proper human in the future.  It was incomprehensible to me.

“Teacher.”

The teacher had her arms folded while she looked down at me, turned to Sandoria, 

“Ria?”

I was the only one attending class today. Because of Edrid’s visit Sandoria was told she didn’t have to attend class for a few days. Mother said guests shouldn’t be left unattended.

“I told you that there’s no class today, tch….”

The teacher clicked her tongue, saying she had forgotten. I looked up to see Sandoria. If it were me, I would have been pleased, but Sandoria was engulfed in heartache. 

I couldn’t interpret Sandoria’s despair. Why did her hand tremble? I didn’t understand why it looked like she’d cry if pushed.

“There are times when a teacher makes mistakes too. Anyway, I had a hard time today, but it went well.”

Sandoria quickly covered the smile that appeared on her face. Our teacher called out to her, but the child had already left, running down the stairs. 

I only saw the child after class. Our encounter was unexpected. Sandoria stood in the spot I often frequented.

As a loner I often liked to use that spot to lean on the wall. The child stood there with her ear placed against the wall, the same as I often did. However, unlike my search for tranquillity, Sandoria was overcome with sadness.

I asked my grandfather the other day. Do you really think of me as a granddaughter? Maybe I’m just a child with similar hair or eye color. I wondered if Sandoria could be the real successor.

‘Iara.’

‘Yes.’

‘Sandoria can’t hear the voice of the wall.’

That was the reason Sandoria was easily ousted from becoming the Yereka successor, and why I was brought here in the first place. There had never been a successor who was unable to hear the sound of the wall.

It became obvious after that. Grandfather found a prophet, who informed him that Sandoria was not the successor. The story came out last year. Upon discovering the truth that his granddaughter was swapped, grandfather cleaned house as he grilled and questioned his subordinates. It was by chance that Mrs. Widman found me and brought me here. 

The sound of the wall could only be heard by direct descendants. Was it fortunate that the wall didn’t choose Sandoria? 

(T/N: Direct descendants of lara’s father’s bloodline (her father became the successor when his elder brother died).)

While I watched Sandoria, my grandfather and mother were taking a walk nearby. It was a coincidence that the family gathered in one place. 

The two continued to chat in front of the wall. Despite their proximity to Sandoria, she wasn’t visible. At first their conversation sounded like a mumble, but it became clearer as their steps progressed. I hid myself behind a tree. 

“She’s probably the only one who expresses the sound of the wall like that.” (Grandpa)

“Did she say that she liked the sound?” (Mother)

“Of course. She’d live in front of the wall if she was allowed to. If she’s here, she can hear the waves, the birds singing, and the sound of a fallen apple rolling.” (Grandpa)

At the grandfather’s words, mother grinned as if she heard something lovely. Grandfather smiled brightly and placed his hand on my mother’s shoulder.

“It’s because she’s unable to express it, but she’s not a child without emotions at all. I can’t believe she’s not resentful.” (Grandpa)

“If it were me, I would be resentful.” (mother)

“If it were you, you wouldn’t be resentful. Because she seems to have a good heart as much as you.” (Grandpa)

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Subsequently, the grandfather added a word.

“It seems that her fiery personality resembles yours.” (Grandpa)

****

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