The Tyrant Won't Let Me Go
‘Eh, really?’
I definitely said I’d go to Cedric’s room.
[Hey, sorry! I have to go now.]
Caliberne said as she escaped from the sword.
[Anyway. Just remember this one thing. You won this game, that woman completely lost!]
‘What? What do you mean?’
Caliberne’s laughter echoed in my head.
[Talk to the emperor. Then you’ll find out.]
‘Caliberne, what do you mean? Please explain it to me.’
[I’m done! The emperor will enter soon, so I’m leaving]
‘Hey, wait a minute!’
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
“Ciel? May I come in?”
It’s really Cedric’s voice.
It was exactly two hours and fifty minutes after we separated.
After biting my lip and hesitating for a moment, I opened the door.
Cedric, who appeared through the door, cautiously stepped inside and looked worriedly at me.
“Sit down for a moment.”
“Ah, yes.”
He took a seat on the sofa in the dormitory and immediately asked for my hand.
‘Slow down, don’t get excited!’
I was worried that spark would splatter the moment I touched Cedric, but fortunately, that didn’t happen because my mind had cleared up to some extent while talking to Caliberne.
“…Are you okay, Ciel?”
Cedric asked, clutching my left hand with both of his hands.
A sweet affectionate voice…
With a genuinely worried expression on his face.
Red eyes that are looking straight at me.
Everything didn’t make sense.
“Your Majesty, are you alright?”
The words came out of my mouth inadvertently.
“I could be the daughter of the man who tried to kill His Majesty, are you sure you’re okay?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Cedric answered without hesitation.
“Ciel, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I was speechless for a moment.
Unable to organize what to say, I bowed my head and sighed.
“I know.”
Who doesn’t know that?
But…
I could hardly open my lips…
“I wasn’t as shocked as I thought I was, but I was angry.”
As I swept my heated eyes, the heat wrapped around my fingertips.
I thought my head had calmed down, but my body doesn’t seem to accept that.
“It wasn’t enough for my mother to abandon me, I was maddened that she tried to bog me down with something that wasn’t even my fault.”
“Ciel…”
“However…”
I turned my head to look at his red eyes that slowly twinkled.
“Even so, how could I see Your Majesty as calmly as usual?”
Cedric’s hand, which was loosely overlapped with mine, tightened.
Cedric’s lips trembled as he silently stared at me, not saying a word.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
I still couldn’t understand.
“Whether that’s true or not, Your Majesty would remember that hellish time every time you see me.”
At that very moment, the air in the room turned cold.
It was then that Cedric’s eyes, which were fluttering like small flames, turned sharp.
“You’re not going to leave me, are you?”
He never spoke in an angry tone or swear.
Rather, it was a fairly soft tone.
However, it was impossible to hide the red eyes that flashed like a beast for a moment.
“I’m sorry, but that’s a breach of contract.”
“That’s not all.”
I spoke calmly in a subdued voice.
“In the current circumstances, it would be cowardly for me to break my contract and leave Your Majesty’s side.”
“Huh?”
“For the rest of my contract, even if your Majesty doesn’t want to see me, I won’t be the first to leave the Imperial Palace with my own.”
Cedric, who stared at me, looked like he didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Leaving now would be tantamount to giving up on you Your Majesty for fear of being criticized and glared at.”
On the surface, it could be said that I’m leaving for Cedric, who’s reluctant to see me.
However, unless Cedric asks me to leave first, the truth was that I’d be leaving because I couldn’t stand Cedric’s uncomfortable reaction.
“Ciel…”
“Of course, it’s a different story if your Majesty would be the first to say that you want to break the contract.”
I looked straight at Cedric’s confused face and continued.
“That’s why I’m asking you. Are you really okay with me?”
“Of course it’s fine. If you leave, I’ll…”
Cedric, unable to speak again, bit his lips nervously.
His rapidly darkening expression and anxious-looking eyes were something that could not be faked.
“I don’t know how you could see me in such a good way even in this kind of situation. Why are you…”
If I had been Cedric, I wouldn’t have been able to.
The transparent eyes that were gently staring at me were twinkling.
Cedric’s slightly curved eyes, as if relieved, drew a beautiful curve reminiscent of a crescent moon.
“Do you want to know?”
It was a friendly whisper.
Today, for the first time, I learned that I could tell just by a person’s voice that someone really cares about me.
And my heart started beating fast.
I looked down at our overlapping hands.
At this rate, Cedric seemed to notice my pulse getting faster and faster.
“You asked me earlier, didn’t you? When I see you, doesn’t it remind me of the moment I almost died?” Cedric said with a smile.
It was completely different from the face of a person recalling bad memories.
It looked like a bright yellow sunflower.
“To tell you the conclusion, it’s not at all.”
“…Was that so?”
“Do you know what memories come to mind when I see you?”
“No.”
As I inadvertently bowed my head, my silver hair flowed down.
Then his gracefully outstretched finger touched the hair near my ear.
Cedric, who puts my hair behind my ears in a natural movement, like a flowing motion, was staring at me.
As if asking me to look at him.
Like saying don’t look away.
“The first memory that comes to mind was when I was in a swordsmanship class when I was twelve, and when I missed the sword, you said it was okay.”
A memory he had forgotten for a while flashed through his mind.
At that time, Cedric missed the sword and turned pale, unable to breathe properly.
As if caught in bad memories of the past.
Only then did I realize…
That now he doesn’t look at me like that.
“Also, holding my hand when I caught a cold. Or we played hide-and-seek together.”
For some reason, I laughed at myself.
It reminded me of Cedric’s childhood, which was much smaller than it was now, but followed me as well as he was right now.
It was both amazing and grateful that I occupied a corner of his childhood memory.
“The fact that you were by my side when my father passed away. Oh, that we danced together at the banquet.”
“You remember a lot of things when you see me.”
“Well, that’s right.”
Cedric smiled and said.
“Anyway, all that matters was precious and happy memories.”
It makes him happy…
‘That’s a relief.’
It occurred to me that I had not spent the past eight years in vain. Because someone was happy to be with me.
“And I have one thing to confess…”
“Yes? What is it?”
“Of course, it was a bad experience to almost die from Jack Mar. But I haven’t had a hard time because of that memory. As time passed, I naturally stopped thinking about it.” Cedric said in a calm voice.
“There were other memories that are really painful.”
“Do you remember what made me really suffer?”
“Yeah. When we just met, you were reluctant to hold a sword. Do you remember that?”
Suddenly, the memory of when we were twelve passed by my mind.
-‘I’m afraid that my father will abandon me.’
Young Cedric’s voice seemed to hover in my ears.
“…Ah.”
No way. Was it that…?
“People know that Jack Marr tried to kill me.”
Cedric spoke in a calm tone.
“Right…?”
“I’m not saying it’s wrong, but he was simply given an order. He just injured me but didn’t kill me.”
Cedric’s face looked calm as he spoke.
But his fingertips were clearly trembling.
“It wasn’t Jack Marr who really wanted to kill me—”
His red eyes lit with embers blazed with a sad light.
“It was my mother.”
Chapter 47: CH 46
I definitely said I’d go to Cedric’s room.
[Hey, sorry! I have to go now.]
Caliberne said as she escaped from the sword.
[Anyway. Just remember this one thing. You won this game, that woman completely lost!]
‘What? What do you mean?’
Caliberne’s laughter echoed in my head.
[Talk to the emperor. Then you’ll find out.]
‘Caliberne, what do you mean? Please explain it to me.’
[I’m done! The emperor will enter soon, so I’m leaving]
‘Hey, wait a minute!’
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
“Ciel? May I come in?”
It’s really Cedric’s voice.
It was exactly two hours and fifty minutes after we separated.
After biting my lip and hesitating for a moment, I opened the door.
Cedric, who appeared through the door, cautiously stepped inside and looked worriedly at me.
“Sit down for a moment.”
“Ah, yes.”
He took a seat on the sofa in the dormitory and immediately asked for my hand.
I was worried that spark would splatter the moment I touched Cedric, but fortunately, that didn’t happen because my mind had cleared up to some extent while talking to Caliberne.
“…Are you okay, Ciel?”
Cedric asked, clutching my left hand with both of his hands.
A sweet affectionate voice…
With a genuinely worried expression on his face.
Red eyes that are looking straight at me.
Everything didn’t make sense.
“Your Majesty, are you alright?”
The words came out of my mouth inadvertently.
“I could be the daughter of the man who tried to kill His Majesty, are you sure you’re okay?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Cedric answered without hesitation.
“Ciel, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I was speechless for a moment.
Unable to organize what to say, I bowed my head and sighed.
“I know.”
Who doesn’t know that?
But…
I could hardly open my lips…
As I swept my heated eyes, the heat wrapped around my fingertips.
I thought my head had calmed down, but my body doesn’t seem to accept that.
“It wasn’t enough for my mother to abandon me, I was maddened that she tried to bog me down with something that wasn’t even my fault.”
“Ciel…”
“However…”
I turned my head to look at his red eyes that slowly twinkled.
“Even so, how could I see Your Majesty as calmly as usual?”
Cedric’s hand, which was loosely overlapped with mine, tightened.
Cedric’s lips trembled as he silently stared at me, not saying a word.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
I still couldn’t understand.
“Whether that’s true or not, Your Majesty would remember that hellish time every time you see me.”
At that very moment, the air in the room turned cold.
It was then that Cedric’s eyes, which were fluttering like small flames, turned sharp.
“You’re not going to leave me, are you?”
He never spoke in an angry tone or swear.
Rather, it was a fairly soft tone.
However, it was impossible to hide the red eyes that flashed like a beast for a moment.
“I’m sorry, but that’s a breach of contract.”
I spoke calmly in a subdued voice.
“In the current circumstances, it would be cowardly for me to break my contract and leave Your Majesty’s side.”
“Huh?”
“For the rest of my contract, even if your Majesty doesn’t want to see me, I won’t be the first to leave the Imperial Palace with my own.”
Cedric, who stared at me, looked like he didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Leaving now would be tantamount to giving up on you Your Majesty for fear of being criticized and glared at.”
On the surface, it could be said that I’m leaving for Cedric, who’s reluctant to see me.
However, unless Cedric asks me to leave first, the truth was that I’d be leaving because I couldn’t stand Cedric’s uncomfortable reaction.
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“Even if I live in an inconspicuous corner of the Imperial Palace, whatever I do, I would help your Majesty to get rid of those bad memories. That’s probably the best I could do right now.”“Ciel…”
“Of course, it’s a different story if your Majesty would be the first to say that you want to break the contract.”
I looked straight at Cedric’s confused face and continued.
“That’s why I’m asking you. Are you really okay with me?”
“Of course it’s fine. If you leave, I’ll…”
Cedric, unable to speak again, bit his lips nervously.
His rapidly darkening expression and anxious-looking eyes were something that could not be faked.
“I don’t know how you could see me in such a good way even in this kind of situation. Why are you…”
If I had been Cedric, I wouldn’t have been able to.
The transparent eyes that were gently staring at me were twinkling.
“Do you want to know?”
It was a friendly whisper.
Today, for the first time, I learned that I could tell just by a person’s voice that someone really cares about me.
And my heart started beating fast.
I looked down at our overlapping hands.
At this rate, Cedric seemed to notice my pulse getting faster and faster.
“You asked me earlier, didn’t you? When I see you, doesn’t it remind me of the moment I almost died?” Cedric said with a smile.
It was completely different from the face of a person recalling bad memories.
It looked like a bright yellow sunflower.
“To tell you the conclusion, it’s not at all.”
“…Was that so?”
“Do you know what memories come to mind when I see you?”
“No.”
As I inadvertently bowed my head, my silver hair flowed down.
Then his gracefully outstretched finger touched the hair near my ear.
Cedric, who puts my hair behind my ears in a natural movement, like a flowing motion, was staring at me.
As if asking me to look at him.
Like saying don’t look away.
“The first memory that comes to mind was when I was in a swordsmanship class when I was twelve, and when I missed the sword, you said it was okay.”
At that time, Cedric missed the sword and turned pale, unable to breathe properly.
As if caught in bad memories of the past.
Only then did I realize…
That now he doesn’t look at me like that.
“Also, holding my hand when I caught a cold. Or we played hide-and-seek together.”
For some reason, I laughed at myself.
It reminded me of Cedric’s childhood, which was much smaller than it was now, but followed me as well as he was right now.
It was both amazing and grateful that I occupied a corner of his childhood memory.
“The fact that you were by my side when my father passed away. Oh, that we danced together at the banquet.”
“You remember a lot of things when you see me.”
“Well, that’s right.”
Cedric smiled and said.
“Anyway, all that matters was precious and happy memories.”
It makes him happy…
‘That’s a relief.’
It occurred to me that I had not spent the past eight years in vain. Because someone was happy to be with me.
“And I have one thing to confess…”
“Yes? What is it?”
“Of course, it was a bad experience to almost die from Jack Mar. But I haven’t had a hard time because of that memory. As time passed, I naturally stopped thinking about it.” Cedric said in a calm voice.
“Do you remember what made me really suffer?”
“Yeah. When we just met, you were reluctant to hold a sword. Do you remember that?”
Suddenly, the memory of when we were twelve passed by my mind.
-‘I’m afraid that my father will abandon me.’
Young Cedric’s voice seemed to hover in my ears.
“…Ah.”
No way. Was it that…?
“People know that Jack Marr tried to kill me.”
Cedric spoke in a calm tone.
“Right…?”
“I’m not saying it’s wrong, but he was simply given an order. He just injured me but didn’t kill me.”
Cedric’s face looked calm as he spoke.
But his fingertips were clearly trembling.
“It wasn’t Jack Marr who really wanted to kill me—”
His red eyes lit with embers blazed with a sad light.
“It was my mother.”
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