Roman couldn't remember saying no to Violet. So when she asked him to join them for lunch with that brave smile on her, he didn't have the heart to say no.
Somewhere on the plantation was a two-storey house for the family of three and a few servants who were loyal to Princess Violet. While they were waiting for the food, Violet led Roman to the sitting room while the children rest in their rooms.
Roman gazed down at the tea in front of him after she slid it towards him. When he raised his eyes, he caught the subtle smile on her face before she poured herself a cup of tea.
"I was taken aback when I saw you, but I was glad I noticed you were there before you left." Violet placed the teapot to the side and flashed him a kind smile. "You're always like that, Your Highness. Even in the past, you always leave without a word."
He lowered his eyes and kept silent. Her gaze remained on him and he could feel it deep into his bones, but he couldn't raise his head.
"Your Highness," called Violet, as she sighed quietly. "How have you been? I bet it was hectic back in the empire."
"The eighth prince was sentenced for banishment, but while he was being transported, he tried to escape and died," Roman reported after a minute of silence, raising his gaze when he had mustered enough courage to face her. The second he did, loneliness immediately resurfaced in her eyes.
But Violet still smiled subtly. "Is that why you came in here, Your Highness?"
"No." He lowered his eyes once again. "I just thought you might want to hear it."
"And why would I want to hear about someone who might not have thought of me and my children during the last moments of his life?" Her question caused his forehead to crease and once again raised his head. "I do not hate Carlos, Your Highness. I loved him with all my heart. I still do. Even when I left the palace, I kept thinking about him and lost sleep, wondering if I made the correct decision."
Violet smacked her lips and smiled bitterly, staring at her reflection in the teacup. "However, as we settled down in this place and adjusted to the new life... there were many things I learned in that short time." She raised her head, maintaining her kind smile.
"The palace... isn't where I and my children belong, Your Highness. Our lives now might not be as luxurious as before, but my children can now play freely and be children as they were supposed to be. I do not have to look over my shoulder or tread on thin ice," she explained in a relieved tone. "Not just that, but we can now go out in the town and enjoy it without restrictions. This may sound all selfish, but my point is, we're happier."
"I still think about Carlos at times, especially during the first weeks. He was my husband and the father of my children, after all. But after seeing what other people could do for their families... our family is miserable. I didn't realize how miserable I was until I parted with him," she continued and laughed weakly. "All I can remember whenever I recount the years of being his wife was the fear of losing his grace. Still, I loved Carlos... or maybe I think I fell in love with the illusion of the prince I created in my head. "
Her expression turned somber as she breathed out carefully. "You know Carlos, Your Highness. He was someone I will never make happy. I was never enough for him — my children weren't enough for him. Actually, not just him, but everyone in the palace... we're never enough for anybody."
"No matter what I do or understand everything or stomach the things I cannot stomach, no one will see or recognize that," she added bitterly, taking him aback because she never spoke such sentiments in the past. Violet was someone who would simply smile even when her husband was shamelessly talking about other women in her presence.
"Maybe I crossed his head when he was knocking on death's door, but I will never know for sure since the dead don't talk and that is absolutely fine with me." This time, her smile stretched peacefully. It wasn't a smile out of relief or mockery. If anything, her smile was something that had accepted how things turned out.
"I don't regret leaving the palace and I know my children will someday understand this decision. Their future... their life might not be as grandiose as being royalty, but I know they will live happily even without the title." Her eyes gleamed with pride and clarity at the thought of this decision she feared in the beginning. "Maybe my only regret is leaving without bidding you farewell or thanking you."
His eyes slowly dilated while she covered her lips with the back of her hand as she chuckled. He looked surprised, which was something she found hilarious.
"Your Highness, I did say anything I do is never enough for everyone. But after ruminating about it, I realize that is not entirely true." She looked at him softly as she exhaled sharply. "There's always that one person who looks out for me and cares for me sincerely. He was always silent and never truly said anything to me, but I'm certain I wouldn't have survived the palace without him protecting me silently."
Violet bit her lips before she leaned forward. Her hand stretched over the table and held his hand, squeezing it lightly.
"Was it you?" she asked while his brows rose. "I am not asking about the person who protected me from the shadows, but the poems and flowers before I married the eighth prince. Did I mistake the sender?"
Roman held his breath as his back stiffened. His silence and stiff expression were enough for her to get the answer she needed.
Her pen pal, the person she had fallen in love with before she was married to the eighth prince, wasn't Carlos. Carlos simply stole the identity of the man she had fallen in love with for power and deceived her for years.
No wonder the man she married was nothing like the person she had exchanged letters with and captured her heart with his humor. If Violet didn't leave the palace and didn't have free time to think things through, she wouldn't realize these things.
"Rome… it might be late for us to mend or fix our misunderstanding. However, I always wished for your well-being." She squeezed his hand once again and sighed. "I know you are not a saint, but I'm definite you are a good man. The crown prince… might favor you now, but once he figured out about you… Rome, don't die."
Violet's eyes slowly filled with worry while Roman was rendered speechless at the tremor in his hand. He could feel her worry and fear in her grip.
"Don't… go back there, Your Highness. It might sound pretentious of me, but the crown prince scares me. He was cruel to those who opposed him, but the depths of his cruelty to those who betray him are far more ominous. He will not let you off easily."