Joaquin returned to her chamber, and Aries was still rocking herself in the rocking chair. She glanced at him when he sat down in front of her, noticing the trolley tray next to him that a maid she had never seen in the past brought with him. The maid said nothing as she bowed and left the two alone.
"I brought you tea," he said the moment he heard the click of the door as it closed.
Aries blinked and looked away slowly, setting them back to the window. From her peripheral, she could see Joaquin stand up and work on the tray, pouring a glass of tea in it.
"I understand what you want," he spoke while filling up the teacup. "You want nothing from me anymore? You'd rather die than submit? Everything that happened… you will not give me a chance, right?"
She didn't respond because he already knew the answer. Despite the bitterness with a touch of ridicule in his voice, Aries didn't flinch. What did he expect? The two of them could start a beautiful romance story regardless of how they started?
? How she wished things were just as simple as that. If only she was less prideful and doesn't have the slightest shame, she could probably do just that. It was easier that way… but it wasn't. There was no greater joy for her than see him get ruined slowly but surely.
She doesn't even wish him to die. In fact, Aries wanted Joaquin to live a very long, lonely life where he would regret his actions. Or watch everything he worked hard for crumble before his eyes.
Meanwhile, Joaquin stared at his reflection in the teacup. One last time, sadness resurfaced in his eyes before it disappeared without a trace. This was better for the two of them. It was better if his reason was solely an obsession where her feelings didn't matter. Just him.
'Forget about having a child with her…' he thought, tightening his jaw as ripples appeared on the teacup as his hand trembled. He wanted to forget about the idea he had in his head during her pregnancy. It wasn't worth it. Aries wouldn't change the way she looked at him with nonchalance. It was better if she hated him to the core. In that case, one way or another, she had this feeling for him. It didn't matter whether it was hatred or love — what was the difference? He preferred her hatred than her nonchalance. Even if that means ruining her even more.
His expression slowly grew firm and when he sighed quietly, he turned on his heel and faced her.
"Sure. Let's just hate each other." He took slow steps until he was standing beside her, offering the cup to her. "Drink this."
Aries gazed at the cup before she slowly glanced up at him.
"It's not just a normal tea," he explained, keeping eye contact with her. "This one will prevent you from getting pregnant. Drinking just a cup will make you barren… permanently."
"This is my last mercy to you," he added.
Aries didn't look away from him before a weak chuckle escaped her mouth. "Mercy? For me?" she chuckled with her lips closed, taking the cup from him.
"No, Joaquin. This is not for me, but for you, isn't it?" she smirked, but he kept his stoic countenance. "By doing this, it will shut all sliver of hope you have that I will ever love you."
She slowly stood from her rocking chair, straightening her back, chin up, eyes on him. "Let me tell you, Joaquin. You can take my body as many times as you want, conquer as many lands as you can, and sit on the throne. But even if I die one of these days, you will never ever own my heart."
With that being said, Aries guided the teacup to her lips, eyes still on him. She chugged it down without a second hesitation and accepted that she would never bear a child. Not that she wished to have one at that time.
As soon as the bitter tea traveled down her throat, Joaquin took out a small cloth from his pocket. He laid it on his palms, opening the folded cloth which revealed a small round candy. When he picked it up, he raised his sharp gaze at her and kept the candy in between his teeth.
He took one step forward, tilting his head to the side, burying his hand into her hair. He shoved the candy into her mouth as he claimed her lips while she kept her eyes open.
After she drank that tea, their routine returned to how it used to be. It was as if nothing in between ever happened. Maybe it was to erase that fleeting moment that was why Joaquin did everything he could to torment her, while Aries taunted him until they eventually — almost successfully — tucked that memory away so it would never hurt them ever again.
<strong>*****</strong>
<strong>[ PRESENT TIME ]</strong>
Aries blinked ever so tenderly, staring at the high ceiling in silence. She never thought she would ever recall the darkest time she was in this hell. Aside from the fall of Rikhill, the death of her child was the only time Joaquin had ever hurt her again. It wasn't even the starving that came after that or how he ruined her body, passing her to whoever.
Nove l B(in).C OM
The real hell and the most painful was that child's death, her child.
"Bean…" she whispered as she assisted herself to sit up. Nostalgia filled her eyes. It had been a while since she called her child's nickname. "I think it's about time to visit you."
Aries crawled out of the bed, wincing at the shallow stab wound she inflicted upon herself. It wasn't painful enough to hinder her movements, though. She slipped into her slippers and marched towards the door. As soon as Aries stood by the door, she glanced at Climaco, who was guarding her chamber.
"Your Royal Highness?" he called in surprise but shut his mouth when she placed her finger in front of her lips.
"I'll get some fresh air," she said. "Don't let anyone know about it, even the crown prince must not know. Unless you want my undivided attention."
"But Your Royal Highness —"
Aries waved as she sauntered off. "Don't follow me. I can take care of myself."
Climaco and the other knight looked at each other before gazing back at her departing figure. In the end, they didn't follow her since it was her order. If something happened, there were a lot of maids around, anyway.
<strong>*******</strong>
Aries passed by a few servants on the way, but just like how she shut the knights, she warned them the same. She didn't build her reputation and image for nothing. Hence, Aries was able to walk around and headed to the castle near the Sapphire Palace.
The castle was already abandoned, but well-maintained. She kept seeing this place from her room but never once did she have the courage to go in here. She walked through the hallway, listening to her echoing footsteps, taking the stairs in silence until she stood in front of a particular door she was so familiar with.
Her eyelids drooped until they were partially closed, holding the door handle. It was unlocked. A shallow exhale escaped her nostrils before she opened it. The creak echoed like thunder in her ears and her eyes fell to the rocking chair in this almost empty room.