Her heart sank at his answer, tears flooding her face. She felt like all the strength that was left in her was drained with those mere three words: "I love you."
She shook her head at a loss here. Not that she didn't know his answer already. But she wanted another answer. She was hoping he would give her anything but those three painful words. Any reasoning was fine. ANY. Even if it was the most trivial thing, she would accept it. Just not those words.
Not that reasoning again.
Those words that were said to be wonderful and magical… felt like a curse to her.
Her people fought against a formidable opponent because they loved her. Therefore, they all died. Inez pushed all the blame on her and punished her mercilessly, and then told her she loved her. Carlos violated her because he said it was love at first sight.
Now, Joaquin, the root of all these series of misfortunes… was telling her the reason he put her through hell was out of love? For her? He loved her? She was hurting now because she loved her child and was taken away from her.
Love… was nothing but a painful word for her.
They weren't magical.
They were cursed words that continued to hurt her when it was uttered to her and even when it wasn't spoken to her.
Aries shook her head and lowered her eyes. The pain in her heart, the anger she bottled in, and everything… drove her to the corner. She couldn't think anymore. She glanced over her shoulder and her eyes caught the emperor inside the cage.
She didn't know what happened to him, but right not, she just simply doesn't care anymore. What she only knew was that Joaquin… wouldn't fall that easily if he could make an army of monsters like that. Or maybe ruin the empire if he let those mindless monsters like the emperor run rampant in the capital.
"I will not know," she whispered with a hoarse voice, setting her somber eyes back to him. "I will never know what will happen to the empire, Joaquin. Would it fall? Or were the gods so blind to side with someone like you and make this place an even dreadful place to exist? I wouldn't know that."
The side of her lips curled up subtly as her eyes softened. Her shoulder relaxed, sizing him up from head to toe. She had lost it. Everything she did until now… went all down the drain because she couldn't control her anger anymore.
And yet, she didn't regret everything, even this outburst.
She had been fighting for years; went through the pits of hell and emerged from it. She met people who were too kind to her and showed her what life was about — even though they see life with little value themselves.
But Aries… was exhausted.
She was too exhausted from fighting this man who was looking back at her. She was too exhausted, smiling while secretly gritting her teeth.
Was it wrong to finally reach a breaking point? Aries was only human. But this exhaustion was something that wouldn't just need some hours of rest.
"You love me?" she asked weakly, staring back at Joaquin. He didn't answer, hands raised, signaling her to put down the sword.
"Aries, put it down, love. I — I was wrong, alright? I know I did terrible things to you, but I will change! Hurt me, it's fine. Put me through the same hell, and I won't complain. Just put it down." Joaquin took a cautious step forward, only to halt when she shook her head.
"You will let me hurt you?" she asked and then tipped her head to the cage. "Then give your arm to him."
"What…?"
"Come on. If you sacrifice just a limb for me, I might reconsider, Joaquin. If you can prove you truly want to change for the good, then let him take your arm." Her smile didn't reach her eyes, waiting for his reaction, but nothing. Joaquin simply looked at her in disbelief, making her snort after a minute.
"That's what I thought." She rocked her head and chuckled with her lips closed. "You know, Joaquin. I know someone who can stab himself multiple times for me."
She dragged the sword from the floor, leaving a long scratch, and held it up to caress the blades carefully. Her eyes marveled at the polished metal that didn't have the slightest trace of blood, despite that this sword was also the one that plunged into Davien's throat.
"He is a lunatic and the depths of his craziness are immeasurable. Perhaps I'm crazy too for falling for someone like him." She glanced at him and smiled subtly. "Problem is, I never told him how much he means to me. Even when I tried to express my heart, I can't. Those words... those simple three words you people can speak so easily would never come out of my mouth. And whenever someone tells those words to me? I feel like they were simply cutting my ears."
Aries gazed back at the polished blades, mirroring half of her face. Her eyes softened at the thought of Abel, the man who deserved much more than someone like her.
"He accepted me as a whole, made me feel my value is the same regardless of how disgusting this body was, and showed me I'm bigger than my past. He doesn't even know that last part, though." She chuckled, imagining that fatal beauty, looking back at her from that sword before it glinted and replaced it with her own reflection. "He asked for my hand and I said yes. I know our time together is fleeting since I want to go to Rikhill and he had obligations and people who rely on him."
"But I was looking forward to our wedding," she whispered with deep regret in her voice while tears formed in the corner of her eyes. "I want to walk down the aisle with him waiting for me at the altar. It would be nice to hear him speak his marriage vows before sealing it with a kiss. He would surely kiss me passionately until Sir Conan throws a tantrum and my brother unsheathed his sword, only for the duke to block his sabre. Or maybe… we will make out right there and then. It's up to the guest and the priest if they want to stay and watch us — I don't care. It would be fun."
A shallow breath slipped past her lips as she felt rather at peace, thinking about how her wedding with Abel would turn out. But bitterness still filled her eyes as she shifted her attention to Joaquin.
"I feel sorry for him." Her lips trembled once again. "He shouldn't have allowed me to occupy a piece of his heart. For I am selfish and broken and impatient too. I hope he never forgives me."
Her vision blurred as she raised her sword at the side of her neck, eyes at Joaquin's dilated eyes. "You love me? Then, I guess the only thing that I can actually hurt you is killing myself, right?" Aries chuckled. She didn't even know how many hours the crown prince would grieve for her, but that didn't matter. She already made up her mind, and nothing ever mattered to her now.
Nove l B(in).C OM
After all, only the worse would happen to her once she walk out of this door alive. She had spoiled her plan, and the damages were irreparable.
'I'm sorry, Abel,' she whispered in her heart.
"Aries, no, no, no, NO!" Joaquin panicked as he took steps forward, but alas, she only smiled at him and held his gaze before slicing her neck down to her throat. He stopped as blood spurted out from her and her body collapsed with a thud. The sword clang a few times on the floor and the silence that came after echoed.
All he could do was stare at her body on the floor, lying face first. It didn't take long when blood spread out underneath her body until it reached his foot.
"No…" Joaquin collapsed to his knees, unable to move anymore. All he heard was silence and then the frantic growls from the emperor by the scent of blood that pervaded the air.