Chapter 411: 411 I Loved You... Maybe.

"And so, with these crimes, the Third Prince, Ismael Imperial, is sentenced to death via guillotine!"

As cries and pleas erupted in front of the execution platform, Aries and Joaquin, who were at the podium, didn't make the slightest noise. She kept her eyes on him until his brow arched, casting her a questioning look.

"I loved you." Aries narrowed her eyes as she whispered as if she just had a realization now. Meanwhile, Joaquin's pupil momentarily went huge like an aperture of the camera as his breath hitched.

"What did you say?" he asked under his breath, leaning against the armchair while pulling her hand closer to him.

"What did you say?" he repeated, just in case she didn't hear him because of the noise below.

"I loved you," she repeated, snapping her eyes ever so tenderly. Her eyes scanned the slight surprise he was unable to conceal, but she didn't smirk in mockery or showed the slightest she intended to mock him for believing her.

"That time we had Bean," she continued without raising her voice, but he somehow heard her loud and clear. "I think one way or another… you've grown in me. I hate to admit it, but you… that man, the father of my beloved child, was a nice guy."

"He may not be perfect and there were times he was unbearable to be with. But… he was trying." The side of her lips curl up subtly as her eyes softened. "At one point, I told myself, maybe I can try to open up my heart to him and put the past behind us. After all, I don't think he would smile while listening to the heartbeat in my womb if he doesn't care about me and his child."

"He may not realize it, but he also had this adorable side whenever curiosity shines in his silver eyes at the thought of life inside a person's body. That look in his eyes whenever he was leaning against the wall, staring at my protruding stomach while deep in thought," she added and chuckled, admitting the things she had shunned in the past. "We… were almost there, weren't we? It's not like I didn't feel you or your heart. I felt it."

Aries pressed her lips and smiled, reminiscing about the fleeting time she and Joaquin were peaceful. "My heart… and Bean's heart felt your heart and your sincerity." She nodded slightly while her eyes grew slightly watery, but not enough to make her cry.

Although fleeting, Joaquin tried his best to become a good father to her child. That had always been her goal in the past. It didn't matter if he would toss her to the side if a day come and he got tired of her, so long as he loved their child.

If Bean was born, Aries was already prepared to open her heart to Joaquin. After all, she didn't want to be cruel to the father of her child and she wanted to raise Bean with a loving mother and father. For the sake of that child, she would forget her own grievances.

"But you killed him right after I had decided, Your Majesty." Her smile grew bitter, swallowing down the tension building up in her throat. "I know you didn't mean to kill him, but our child still died because of you. So… how can I want to have a child when you already killed my family and then our child?"

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,m "Am I cruel to get blinded by anger when you had taken everything from me?" she added as she felt his grip tremble, seeing the firm defenses in his eyes show cracks.
"Am I wrong to choose to pretend I don't know you are the one who carries me to bed every time I fall asleep in that rocking chair? Was it harsh to pretend to be deaf to your words of apology every single night?" Aries raised her brows, tugging his hand slightly. "Is it too much if I cannot forgive you or me for the death of our beloved baby?"

Joaquin's lips were drawn in a thin line, swallowing down in his throat. When his quivering lips parted, his voice wouldn't come out. Bean's existence and those peaceful memories both of them shared were a sensitive topic for him as well. That child's death… hurt him more than her constant defiance. It hurt him more than a deep stab in his flesh.

That child's existence and those memories it had left in his parents were tragically beautiful, which both Aries and Joaquin tried to erase. Remembering those times when the two of them were almost — ALMOST — there to meet halfway, only brings pain instead of a smile to their faces.

It only proved that "almost" was never enough.

"You labeled your feelings as love, and no one can bend your beliefs about it." Aries smacked her lips weakly, eyes falling to their entwined hands. But like usual, Joaquin was the only one who was holding her while she didn't make an effort to hold him back.

Maybe, in the past, if Bean was born into this world, she would hold his hand and delude herself until she would believe she was happy. No one could tell about the future. If their child didn't die, there was a chance Aries would eventually fall in love with him, since Joaquin could be very considerate at times.

Obviously, no one would know about that because Bean died and things only went south and then straight to fucking hell.

"So I guess my feelings were the same." Aries smiled peacefully, as if talking about this to him lifted off a giant burden her heart was carrying. "I am not sure, but maybe, at one point — that point in our life, in particular — I loved or considered loving you."

Joaquin's eyes softened as he lowered them to their hands, seeing he was the only one holding her like always.

"Doesn't matter now," he whispered, squeezing her hand mildly, which only allowed her to feel the tremor in his grip. "Whether or not you loved me or you cannot anymore, it doesn't matter now, Aries."

He slowly raised his eyes and offered a subtle smile. "We… I cannot reverse the time no matter how I wish I could to love you and Bean properly. And I had already told you, I had already accepted anything from you. Hate, disgust, or anything. I cannot be the man you will ever love, but being the person you loathed the most is good enough for me."

"You are… indeed, cruel, you." Aries shook her head mildly. "You're cruel to me, but you're the cruelest to yourself. I wished I had never met you."

"Me too, Aries," he replied airily. "I wished I never met you because if I didn't, we will never be miserable."

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