Chapter 503: 503 Do You Hate Yourself?

"Tsk tsk tsk."

Roman kept his eyes on the window of the carriage, ignoring Aries's glares across from him. The latter had been clicking her tongue constantly. Dismay was apparent in her eyes.

"I can't believe I will be this disappointed," Aries mumbled, shaking her head in disbelief. "Rome, do you have a missing screw in the head? You hadn't hanged out with Abel, but I'm sure you will get along with him."

Roman let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, his gaze fell on Aries, sitting across from him, seeing her pointing at her temple.

"I mean, how can you not think of marriage? Violet is pretty, has a big heart, and is just perfect! I can understand if you don't feel the same way, but you do? What's stopping you now?" she continued, unable to wrap her head around Roman's passive action in his relationship with Violet. "Wait. Are you still thinking that the feeling isn't mutual?"

"Why are you so invested in my personal relationship —"

"Because I'm married!" Aries answered without letting him finish.

"And what is that got to do with my affairs?"

"Not your affairs, but Violet's." She huffed faintly, leaning back, shaking her head. "She's my friend."

Nove l B(in).C OM

Roman pursed his lips into a thin line, letting out a shallow breath. He glanced up at her, only to see the dismay in her eyes.

"I cannot be selfish." He peeled his eyes away from Aries to the window. "I'm just elated to be able to protect her at a close distance, but we are not in this empire for a vacation. We are here to start anew. I want her to start anew with a normal life. If she is with me, her life might get even more complicated."

"Because you now pledged your knight vows to Abel?"

Roman rocked his head mildly. "The Haimirich Empire is a completely different realm from the Maganti Empire." His eyelids drooped, staring at the buildings and people in the capital.

"From the outside, it looks normal. This is probably the only similarity between both empires; everything on the outside looks peaceful. However, those who knew what was going on behind the facade knew exactly how terrifying it was." He snapped his eyes back to Aries. "Wasn't that the reason you hitched a ride with me to the Imperial Palace? Because they hadn't shown up for five days and you're worried they might've dropped dead by now?"

"Drop dead — tch. My husband and my brother are capable men." Aries stopped herself from rolling her eyes, shifting her gaze towards the window. "Even so, they're my family and I will naturally get worried about them hearing no word from them for days."

"Don't worry. If His Majesty died, I would've died as well. But here I am, indulging with your... concerns."

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Aries arched a brow and cast him a cursory look. "I know that." She shrugged, letting out a deep breath. She glanced at him once more and saw him looking out of the window.

Although Aries didn't point it out since she deemed it unnecessary, the disappearance of Roman's deep scars across his face told her everything, even if Abel didn't inform her about the seventh prince's morphing. She and Abel had nothing to do but talk for the past month during their journey. Hence, she was slightly aware of how vampire links work.

Initially, they planned to heal Roman using vampire blood. However, since Joaquin hastened his plans, Dexter had no choice but to take a gamble. That gamble was definitely a loss since Roman's body couldn't fight the new blood in his system because of his fatal injuries. In other words, his body and mental state weren't ready for it.

If not for Abel, Roman would've died then and there. But Abel, for some twisted or charitable reason, made a deal with the dying seventh prince. It was a covenant that required Roman to take care of his precious life because another death meant… he would become an extension of Abel's limbs.

N0 v el Next. CoM

Obviously, that was what happened. Roman died during the revolt, and he had turned into a vampire.

"How was it?" she asked after the prolonged silence, watching Roman look back at her with genuine wonder in his eyes. "How was it being a vampire?"

"Are you asking because you might share the same fate?"

Aries pursed her lips into a thin line. "I don't know."

"Well… how do I explain it?" Roman drew a breath, setting his eyes back to the window, wondering how to answer her. "It was… awful."

His eyes gleamed with mixed emotions. "There might be good things, such as gaining unbelievable strength and speed I will never attain being human and heightened senses. However, my human pride… cannot accept the rest."

"Sometimes, I feel shameful of myself every time my eyes fall on Violet's neck and wonder how nice would it be to sink my fangs into them. I know it was wrong, but the urge is just too strong; it is exhausting to fight it," he continued in a somber tone, thinking of the changes that happened to him. "You can drink animal's blood because the sheer thought of drinking another person's life is killing you; it tugs your conscience. However, it feels like eating rotten food that turned your stomach."

Roman laughed bitterly. "The irony is hilarious, in a way. The fact that you are drinking raw blood isn't the one that turns your stomach, but its taste."

"Do you… hate yourself?"

"Yes." His answer was quick without a second thought. "His Majesty had given me a chance to live normally, but… I took it for granted and let my guard down, subsequently dying in the hands of the person I had granted mercy. How I turned is my fault, and I'm the one to blame."

Roman lowered his eyes and smiled subtly. "That is why I… do not want to involve Violet in such a complicated life. I want to be with her, yes, definitely. However, my desire to protect her peace and keep her away from the mess I might be in is far stronger than claiming her as my wife."

When Roman raised his eyes and held Aries's gaze, he nodded slightly. The latter didn't ask further questions, and the two of them traveled to the imperial palace in silence.

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