It was fascinating for Aries that she was certain she knew herself more than anyone, but at the same time, there were moments she felt like the person reflecting in the mirror was a stranger. But those times never scared her because one thing was for sure; Abel knew her more than anyone; whoever or whatever she was, good times or bad.
Aries stayed on his lap while Abel rested against her body for about an hour. He hadn't rested enough, but Abel was annoyed with the scent of burnt flesh that he was exuding. Hence, she offered to help him bathe, which the servants efficiently prepared for the emperor, as per Conan's request, on his way out.
Dipped in the tub, Abel leaned his back against its curved with his arms spread on the rims. Meanwhile, Aries stayed outside the tub, sitting on the low stool beside it. Her arms were resting over the rims with her chin on top of them, eyes on Abel.
"You couldn't break those chains?" she asked after the long silence they shared while cleaning his body before dipping into the tub.
Abel snapped his eyes open, moving his gaze from the ceiling to Aries. She had already taken off her wig, but her clean braid paraded her alluring face.
"I can." His voice was rasped, probably because of the lack of moisture in his throat.
"Then why didn't you break free?"
"It'll fry my brain." Abel looked at her dead in the eye, watching her press her lips until a dimple appeared on her cheek. Her eyes shone with clarity, revealing the sentiments she was keeping to herself.
"I will die, of course," he continued, crawling his hands to hers. "And return to life after several minutes or an hour. However, darling, if I took this life for granted just because I am immortal, I'm afraid I'll go back to that habit of regarding life with no value at all."
His eyelids drooped, but were unable to conceal the emotions in his eyes. "Even if I can open my eyes after dying, you'll still become a window for a span of time. Under the Haimirich Law, once your spouse dies, you're legally single. There's no way I'd allow that."
Aries opened and closed her mouth, but her voice was lost within her. All she could do was stare back at him in silence, thinking to herself the last time she had seen him this exhausted was when he left the empire before her wedding with Joaquin.
"What should I do, Abel?" she asked under her breath, holding his hand and guiding it to her cheek. She kept her eyes on him without concealing the fear and uncertainty pooling in them. "I don't know what to do."
"Don't ask me because you know exactly my plans, darling." He caressed her cheek with his thumb while holding her gaze. "If you die… I'll bring you back, no matter what. You can't die before me, Aries. I can't let you do that to me. I'll be angry."
Aries gulped a mouthful of air and remained silent. All she could do was stay silent because, at one point, she knew Abel wouldn't hesitate to kill her just to turn her into a vampire. The only reason he hadn't done that was because Abel loved her more than anything and anyone in this world. He wouldn't force that on her.
"You don't what to?" she snapped her eyes when his husky voice pierced the building silence between them. "You don't want to become one of us?"
Abel retracted his back from the tab, leaning closer to where she was. "Why?" he continued with genuine wonder in his eyes.
"No, Abel, it's not that I don't want to become a vampire. It's just that… I'm not ready to give up my humanity," she returned after a minute of full silence. "I want… my humanity for as long as I can. And I want to get cured if there's a way."
"And what if there isn't a way?"
Her breath hitched until her neck turned taut. "I… I'll use my spare time preparing myself. They said I can die during the process."
"You won't. I'll make sure you won't."
"But what if?" she looked back at him with fear and worry in her eyes. "I used to wish to die, Abel. I wished to die because I know everything… will stop. No more pain, suffering, tears. But if I die and then wake up… I don't know how I will come to terms with life and death anymore."
Her lips quivered as the corner of her eyes slowly turned red. "I… think I'm not ready for this discussion. I am barely keeping up with all the information I had gathered." Aries held his hand that was on her cheek, squeezing it mildly.
"Please, Abel. Give me some time. I do not want to hurt you, but… I don't want to hurt myself either." Aries breathed out deeply. "Can we spend this day without worrying? I'm not saying I want to run away from the truth, but I do not want to give out my word, only to regret it later."
"It's too soon for us to talk about this, indeed." Abel rocked his head in understanding, leaning back. He cocked his head back, setting his eyes on the intricate ceiling with a complex expression.
"Lest you don't know, I'll turn you before it's too late, darling," he announced under his breath, keeping his gaze heavenward. "I won't tell you or your brother, nor will I ever ask for anyone's permission. Because you… require more than just a sip of my blood and my fangs into your veins."
"Alright," came out a tiny voice, biting her lips. Aries stared at Abel, watching him close his eyes ever so slowly to rest. Another deep exhale escaped her nostrils, knowing he was upset and simply didn't want to voice it out.
However, Aries didn't prolong the conversation because, just as he said, it was too soon for them to talk about this matter. Hence, she did her best to shun the guilt creeping into her heart while wiping his body to clean him.