"Back then, I thought… is it right to love him, knowing one day I will have to leave this world and leave him?" Aries smiled weakly, lowering her eyes until her gaze landed on the table between them. "Or should I cut ties with him while our relationship isn't that deep just yet?"
"I guessed you realized your heart and feelings aren't as shallow as you thought they were since you're here," Marsella guessed in amusement. "You will not learn witchcraft if you don't love him."
"But he doesn't see it that way, apparently." Aries laughed dryly. "For him, I am someone he needs to protect, and not someone he should rely on."
Aries then raised her gaze at Marsella once again. "It seems no matter what I'd do, he will never trust me. Strength and intellect will not matter to him. He'll keep me in a cage if that is what it takes to stop me. Am I wrong?"
Marsella sized Aries up silently, propping her jaw against her knuckles.
"You said it yourself. Love… is not a feeling, but a choice," she repeated the words Aries spewed in the past that left an impression on Marsella. "I wonder if you're starting to question that choice."
"I'm upset, sister, but that doesn't mean I had a changed of heart."
"I can't say I completely understand your heart, dearest sister." Marsella pushed herself up, sauntering towards the fireplace, and stopped in front of it. "To tell you the truth, I don't. I think you are being stubborn."
Aries stared at Marsella's back from the divan. "That is because you are not in my shoes."
"Indeed." Marsella rocked her head in agreement. "I was not in your shoes and I never walked around wearing them. But I can understand your husband."
Her eyes dropped, watching the flames dance in the hearth. "Just like you said, he is immortal. He can't die. Your husband and I have a different predicament, but at the same time, that predicament is almost the same. Love is simple, and ours definitely falls on the latter in the two options I mentioned — it is extreme."
Nove l B(in).C OM
"I would've said being alone and going wild every once in a while when things get boring is better. How I wish I can say that with conviction, but I can't. Why? Because Love… even if it can be extremely painful, is worth every blood and tear," she continued solemnly, ignoring the figure standing beside her. "It might sound that I am defending him and representing him; I don't sympathize with him. What I'm saying is a personal opinion."
"It is not that he doesn't trust your capabilities or your determination, Ram. He's scared — terrified. But this fright isn't from the lack of confidence but from the obvious reasons," Marsella shot Aries a sidelong glance. "Abel knows how much you love him and his importance in your life; he knows, he sees, and he feels it, but all he can do is watch you embrace the witch in you."
"He knows you'd risk your life for him if you must. He knows you'd sacrifice a limb for him and use your body to shield him. That incident yesterday had just reminded him of what you can do and how far you'd go for him," she added, shrugging slightly.
"What's so wrong with that?" Aries inquired under her breath, still unable to grasp her point. "Abel would do everything for me. Why is it fine if he does it, but it's not if it's me?"
"Because what is so good about him you'd exchange your life with his?" Marsella's response was quick, causing Aries's breath to hitch. Marsella nodded slightly, peeling her eyes from her back to the flames. "In his sinful eyes, blasphemous heart, and the depths of his wretched soul, you are the best thing that had happened to him. What do you think he would feel if you died under his watch?"
"Abel is the most powerful Grimsbanne there is. At this point, he is untouchable. You could imagine all the evilness he had done and how far his power could stretch. Yet, he only cares for one thing — for one person, which is you." Marsella paused as her jaw tightened, almost as if she was speaking what Abel couldn't say. She faced Aries squarely this time, waiting for the latter to look back at her before she continued.
"Ram, have you ever wondered what it feels like to stand on the peak, yet, unable to do anything to prevent death from taking you away from him?" she inquired, tilting her head slightly to the side. "And yet, you would come knocking on death's door for what? For honor? To make you feel good?"
Aries laughed weakly as she corrected. "For him."
"Huh…?" Marsella pressed her lips and rocked her head, trying to make sense of what Aries meant by that.
"Who said I care for honor and I'm trying to make myself feel good by helping others?" Aries whispered bitterly, allowing the crackle of woods fills the momentary silence. "There's no guarantee that he can turn me into a vampire, and even if I can prolong my life as a witch, I'd still die, eventually."
Her eyes softened as she clenched her hand. "That's why I'm worried and scared, not because I'm afraid of death. But because I was afraid how he would come to terms with grief or if he would ever come to terms with it."
"He won't. I couldn't, so he definitely can't."
"I figured." Aries nodded, smiling bitterly. "That's why… instead of wallowing in fear and worry, I want to spread the little kindness and love that is left in me to others. In that case, once it's my time to bid this world farewell, others will return my kindness and love to him."
"Abel had been ostracized and persecuted because he was different. It might sound foolish, but if I influenced even just a few people, they might understand my heart and accept him just the way he was, and be there for him once I'm gone since…" Aries's voice broke, gulping to clear the tension in her throat. "... he might not grow old with me."
Marsella's eyes softened before looking away from Aries. "Foolish, indeed, however, admirable. Humans… and their foolish hearts are what kill us from the inside."