Chapter 14: Stop. I’m Fine (2)

Chapter 14: Stop. I’m Fine (2)

Someone once said, “If the idealism is too grand and the reality can’t keep up, people will become angry and want to find someone to vent their anger.” For Yerena, that conflict between the ideal and reality was Sezh, her only daughter.

“You were stuck in the palace, so here I thought you must be reading books in the library. Instead, you and that Raytan guy were flirting with each other there!”

I’m still twelve years old. I’m too young for that. Sezh thought her mother’s paranoid idea made no sense at all.

“And you had to do that with Raytan, not in another place, but Lise’s palace!”

“Mother, I was wro-“

“You were hanging out with Raytan so I’m sure you must be planning something against me, right?! You stupid, useless bitch!”

Oh. That’s why you’re doing this to me. Yerena’s suspicions weren’t entirely unfounded. If Sezh thought about the situation from the emperor’s point of view, he didn’t like Raytan, so he would naturally be wary of those who chose to be close to the prince. Since the Emperor had never looked at Yerena properly, let alone favor her, it was no wonder that Yerena was so frightened that she would be cast out of the emperor’s gaze entirely because of Sezh’s friendship with Raytan.

“I-I didn’t think that far. I got bored because I was alone in the Imperial Palace, that’s why I…”“If you’re bored, you should just read books like you always do!”

I didn’t think she would listen to any of my excuses. So at times like this, it would be better for me to just stay still and get hit. If I say any more than this or accidentally utter something that I shouldn’t, she will hit me more for talking back to her. My past experiences already showed me that much.

Sezh could only sob as she endured the beating, her face soaked with tears. Luna’s heart broke as she watched the young girl weep, so she clenched her teeth and mustered up the courage to stand and stop Yerena. Sezh yanked at the hem of Luna’s dress.

“…”

Sezh and Luna stared at each other. Sezh quietly formed some words with her lips.

S-t-o-p. I’m fine.

Luna widened her eyes, surprised. Nonetheless, she yielded, and Sezh silently received Yerena’s beating.

“If this happens again, I will pull out your hair!”

Yerena had already struck her eighteen times; in other words, she would end her beating soon. Sezh lifted her head slightly, just enough to meet her mother’s eyes. She was agitated and her breathing was rough.

She will only hit me until she gets tired. It’s going to end soon…

“Aaahh!”

Yerena once again dragged Sezh by the hair. The sudden, sharp pain made her scream. Wasn’t she tired already and going to put an end to this soon?

You’re really going to hit me again? Sezh started panicking to herself and…

Slam! Sezh’s face slammed into one of her bedposts.

“N-No, Princess!”

Sezh raised her head blankly as she heard Luna’s scream.

Drip, drop…

I can feel something flowing through my nose. It seems like a nosebleed, and the blood must be flowing very well.

“…”

Yerena didn’t mean to go this far, and now she seemed a little flustered. But Yerena was not a brave and noble soul who would apologize for her mistakes. She stared at Luna, whose face was pallid and blue, and at Sezh, who sat absentmindedly next to the bedpost, before making her way out to leave them alone.

“That’s great! You won’t be able to leave the Imperial Palace with a face like that. You bought this upon yourself!”

And then she left.

“Pri-Princess…”

Luna’s voice was quivering. Sezh stared at her own blood, which was soaking the carpet, instead of answering her lady in waiting.

Yerena is right. I’ll never get out from the Imperial Place. But I have to meet Raytan today. It’s going to be my first time learning the Kazaki language from him.

“Your Highness, let’s call a doc-“

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“Is my mother gone?”

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“What?”

“She is gone, right?”

Luna rose from her position and checked the hallway. She understandably looked like she was afraid of Yerena, too.

“Yes, she is gone. So please take it easy and lay down in the bed… Your Highness?”

Luna widened her eyes in surprise. Sezh suddenly ripped a strip of cloth from the bottom of her dress, rolled it up, and put in her nostrils.

“Luna, I will be going out for a while.”

“Princess! What do you mean?! Didn’t you hear what Lady Yerena said?”

Luna’s face grew exhausted and she looked as if she was about to collapse.

I am so sorry for making you worry for two days in a row, but I can’t help it.

Sezh glanced at Luna with her messy hair and squeezed her hand. She talked to her in a serious voice.

“I’m really fine, so please don’t worry about it. It’s not like this has only happened once or twice before, right?”

“Princess-“

“I am very thankful for your concern, but please don’t get in front of me next time. It’s okay for me to get hit, but I can’t stand it if Luna gets hit for me.”

“…”

“There will be a tea party soon, so I’m sure mother and the others won’t be back at least until this afternoon. I’ll be home before dinner. I promise you.”

I’ll be right back, Luna.

Sezh muttered those words while opening the door and stepping out into the hallway.

Luna was left alone and dazed.

Was she really the same princess whom I’ve always known? Was she? I want to believe it.

But where are you going, though?

Luna stared at the door blankly with her mouth agape. She only belatedly realized that Sezh hadn’t told her the place that she was heading to.

***

Sezh quickened her pace as she made her way to the West Library. She hadn’t been given an exact time for the tutoring. The last time she had seen Raytan in the library was early in the morning, but now, it was almost noon. He already didn’t want to teach her Kazaki in the first place. She was so worried that he would cancel her tutoring under the pretense that she didn’t show up for their meeting on time.

“Ugh, cough-“

Sezh was walking in a hurry, so her breathing was rough and heavy. This morning had been the first in forever that she was beaten so severely like a dog, and now her head was dizzy. She usually got slapped on the cheek a few times, not kicked or knocked into a bedpost. Her nosebleed seemed like it was never going to stop. The wad of cloth that she had stuffed into her nostrils had become saturated with blood and lost its absorptive function.Sezh sighed and ripped a strip from the bottom of her dress again and stuffed it into her nostrils. She couldn’t believe that she was doing something so unbecoming and stupid. She wished she had asked Luna to bring her some proper cloth at least before she left, but she couldn’t even think about that now because she was in a hurry.

“…”

Sezh staggered and finally reached the door to the library. Today, no one was present in the West Library. She walked past the entrance and made her way through bookshelves. She continued forward toward the innermost part of the library, near the large window. She patted her chest to ease her nervousness.

Once there, she saw that someone was already sitting there. Of course, that must be the main hero of this story, Raytan. Sezh stood in front of him.

“Big brother.”Then she continued her sentence in a bright voice.

“I’m here.”

Raytan had his eyes fixed on the book in front of him, but his forehead made a distorted wrinkle. He raised his head after saying some curse words like ‘damn it’ or ‘holy f**k’.

“…”

But then he put on a strange expression…

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