Chapter 20: 20

Chapter 20: Kenichi realizes how he felt about her a year ago

 

Certainly, after getting involved with Uchida, my school life has undergone a slight change. A change that brought disturbance to my peaceful daily life.

 

But now that I’ve made a promise to Uchida, I have to keep it.

 

There are no ulterior motives or bad feelings there.

 

Rather…

 

“I don’t know what to do.”

 

I don’t know what kind of distance I should have with a girl who had already dumped me once.

 

She said something thoughtful, but…

 

There is no way to confirm whether it is correct or not.

 

I just don’t have the confidence to argue with the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’m so devastated by the fact that I was rejected by the first girl I ever confessed my feelings to that I’m still holding on to the fact that I’m still rooting for her.

 

For real…

 

I’m still a kid.

 

I sighed with a heavy look on my face and asked Uchida what time we were going to meet and which cafe.

 

X X X

 

At the Cafe.

 

“Sorry. I went all the way to…”

 

“No. It’s fine. I’ve never been in a café that caters to girls like this, so it’s refreshing.”

 

“Y-yeah? Hun… what is it?”

 

We ordered the couples-only menu and sat down at a table for two to talk.

 

Fortunately, this place is some distance away from the school, so while there might be a lot of couples in uniforms, high school students and college students, there weren’t anyone from our school.

 

It’s an indescribable feeling, a mixture of sadness and happiness.

 

“Isn’t she so cute?”

 

“Really. Her looks and her figure are so amazing.”

 

“Hey! Where are you looking? You’re on a date with me! Those big t**s are just a bunch of fat anyway!”

 

“Oh, sorry!”

 

Eating dessert with the best Madonna in school. As if to illustrate this fact, the stares from the people around us are just as intense.

 

That’s right, Uchida does stand out.

 

At any rate, the purpose of coming here is the couples-only dessert. Until it arrives, we’ll try to keep the place together.

 

“Uchida, do you usually go to this kind of place?”

 

When I express interest, she responds with a twinkle in her magenta eyes.

 

“Yeah! I like sweets and I often come here with my… female friends. Kudo-kun, this is the first time I’ve come here with a male friend.”

 

“O-oh.”

 

Why is she shyly fidgeting and looking up in the middle of the conversation? 

 

I almost fell for her for a second, but I coughed to regain my composure.

 

Then Uchida bowed her head, apologetically.

 

“Sorry about this morning.”

 

“Huh? Why are you apologizing?”

 

“Because of what happened with Hiragi-san and Hashimoto-kun.”

 

“Oh, that’s how it is. Well, don’t worry about it too much.”

 

“Thank you… I’m happy…”

 

“Happy?”

　

I don’t think there’s anything to be happy about.

 

Her face then turns cherry red and her eyes get a little moist.

 

“I was scared when Hashimoto-kun touched me, but I felt so much safer because Kudo-kun was there…”

 

“Is that so?”

 

So that’s why she stuck to my body that time.

 

If she felt a sense of security, it was probably due to the fact that she was from a single mother family.

 

It’s not like my body is wearing out, and helping people when I see them in trouble is also a way for me to feel a strong bond with my dad who is gone.

 

That’s why.

 

“I think I told you this before, but if you need help, call me. I’ll help you as much as I can.”

 

“U-un… thanks… glad you’re here. Hehehe…”

 

I’m a man who lives with my mother. But she and her mother are both women.

 

I am sure there are many circumstances that she cannot talk about here.

 

Seeing that smile makes me want to punch myself this morning when I was complaining in my mind about why I didn’t want to get involved.

 

My dad risked his life to save people, and all I could think about was my own self-preservation.

 

Even if she s***s on me like Hiragi, I’m still going to help her, because I’ve inherited my dad’s will.

 

It’s not limited to Uchida either.

 

Mom, Yuto, Ayane-san, Natsuko-san, and, although I’m really reluctant to say this, but Hiiragi too.

 

With that in mind, the waitress brought us a couples-only parfait.

 

She kept her eyes peeled and took a bunch of pictures, which she quickly uploaded to social media.

 

As expected, Uchida is also a modern high school girl.

 

And as I loosen my cheeks, she laughs and talks to me.

 

“Let’s eat!”

 

“Ou!”

　

Uchida said it with a smug look on her face, so I responded with a smug look on my face too.

 

It’s not so bad to eat delicious food in a stylish place like this with a girl from my class.

 

But we must not be too arrogant.

 

She only called me because she wanted to eat this parfait.

 

Adult women and JK are different.

 

I can’t thank Ayane-san enough.

 

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If I didn’t know Ayane, I’m sure I would have taken the liberty of mistakenly thinking that I was at Uchida’s mercy.

 

The parfait was very good.

 

While we were eating, Uchida glanced at me and asked how I was doing, but I didn’t pay attention to her and concentrated on eating.

 

“That was good.”

 

“Yeah! We hit the jackpot here!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“We’ll come back together again! I want to try something else on the menu.”

 

“Eh?”

　

Will there be another time?

 

She looks at me with concern, wondering about my reaction.

 

“What’s wrong? Kudo-kun.”

 

“N-nothing…”

 

I honestly don’t know how to reply to her.

 

I wish this would help her, but from the way she talks, it doesn’t seem to be the only thing she is doing.

 

As I was puzzled, Uchida gave me a sad look.

 

“You know what, Kudo-kun?”

 

“?”

 

“Actually, the reason I asked you out, Kudo-kun, was not for this parfait.”

 

“What?”

 

What does she mean?

　

I twist my head and ask her to continue with a look, and she asks me with a serious expression.

 

“There’s something I wanted to ask you, Kudo-kun.”

 

“You want to ask me something?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“About what?”

 

“Won’t you make me your girlfriend, Kudo-kun?”

 

“……”

 

“I want to hear what you really think.”

 

A girlfriend, huh…

 

I did want to make her my girlfriend so badly in the past.

 

When I first debuted in high school, I was full of dreams and hopes and so I confessed to Uchida, who was right in front of me, the person I most wanted to be in a relationship with.

 

But…

 

“Sorry, Kudo-kun.”

 

“Could you tell me why? I want to hear Uchida’s true feelings.”

 

“It’s…”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Cause I don’t want to date anyone.”

 

“…”

 

The words she said to me at that time felt very cold.

 

She narrowed her eyes at that moment and looked at me as if she despised me.

 

　

— I don’t want to date anyone.

 

That’s exactly what I’m feeling right now.

 

　

“I don’t want to.”

 

“Eh? Why?”

 

“Because I don’t want to go out with anyone.”

 

“……”

 

　

 

She turned her head down when she heard my words.

 

Perhaps the words I said sounded familiar.

 

I finally understood how she felt a year ago.

 

In that sense, I’d say I’m on a lower level than she is.

 

　

 

“I knew it was my fault…”

 

“?”

 

“I ignored your feelings and dumped you, and that’s why…”

 

“N-no, what are you saying…”

 

Something is wrong with Uchida.

 

“It’s all my fault… if I had told you how I felt right then…”

 

“Ah, hey.”

 

I was perplexed and suddenly Uchida grabbed my right hand tightly with both hands.

 

“It’s not your fault, Kudo-kun. It’s all my fault. I ignored your feelings. I sinned against you.”

 

“……”

 

“So I’ll take responsibility.”

 

Uchida’s eyes are even more focused on the hand that’s already holding my reddened wrist.

 

Her eyes were devoid of color, and its sharp gaze entangled me so that I couldn’t run away.

 

I repeat, she is the Madonna of our school.

 

But now, I’m not confused by the beauty of it all.

　

I’m reacting to something dusky inside her massive chest.

 

As Uchida took my right hand to her big marshmallow.

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