Chapter 35: CH 35

Translator: transcendentwings

Editor: teaff 

Xu Xingzhi only felt his head was like a drum that was about to be beaten until it broke. He only needed to attempt to think about things and it would pulse with so much pain that he felt like it was about to explode. As such, he could only rely on his instinct to ask the most important matter first: “How is Tao Xian?”

“Tao Xian was slightly injured.” Qu Chi replied in distress, “He’s resting ne.”

As he spoke, he sensibly took out the numerous small stones wrapped in vibrant colored-paper from his lapel. Reaching out to stroke Xu Xingzhi’s hair, he comforted: “I’ll give you some candy. Don’t worry.” His movements and manner of speaking were like that of a big brother who was the king of children.

Xu Xingzhi didn’t pretend to be polite and directly grabbed two of them. One he placed within his own lapel and then he unwrapped the other and pressed it under his tongue, inquiring in a muffled voice: “Chongguang ne?” 

Qu Chi: “Also sleeping.”

Xu Xingzhi was somewhat taken aback: “He. . .”

Qu Chi carefully pieced his words together before vocalizing haltingly, fearing that he’d miss some details when he explicated.

“When we were caught in the illusionary array, I was with Beinan. . . There were ghosts who wanted to dig our hearts out. We only fought them briefly when Chongguang fought his way over to us. Later. . . Later he led us to break through the formations. Those illusionary scenes were all different. Some were in the plains, some in the desert. There were many voices crowding in our ears, there was even a voice telling me that Tao Xian was already dead. . . But before I could become anxious ne, Chongguang broke through the center of the formation. So I followed him to the next. . .”

Qu Chi’s mindset was no different from that of a child. As he spoke, he’d lose focus. Xu Xingzhi listened until he felt his heart speed up with apprehension. Enduring his headache, he sat up and asked: “. . . How is Chongguang truthfully? For him to be asleep now, how wounded is he?”

Qu Chi hurriedly tugged on Xu Xingzhi’s hand: “When we shattered the formations, he used up a lot of energy. He just managed to find you when he saw you lose consciousness. His San Jiao were reversed, making him vomit blood uncontrollably. You’ve slept for three days and three nights and he’s never closed his eyes, staying by your side the entire time, stating that he’d wait until you woke up before attending to other affairs. Just now, he couldn’t bear it any longer and fainted, so I was switched in to accompany you.”

Xu Xingzhi’s heart was in disarray when he heard “vomit uncontrollably”, so how could he still have the mind to listen to the rest of Qu Chi’s words. He promptly turned towards the interior of the cave and proceeded forward, barefoot.

Tao Xian slept on a pile of dry straw, his brows were slightly wrinkled, his skin was pale, but compared to Meng Chongguang, whose face was akin to a corpse, at least he had a trace of vitality. 

Meng Chongguang was lying on the edge of the straw bed, as if deliberately isolating himself from the person beside him. He looked lonely; his thin wrists and ankles looked like they could be broken with one hand. From Xu Xingzhi’s perspective, he appeared to have short, stubby little arms and legs, like a child who had been wronged and was throwing a tantrum.

Xu Xingzhi lowered his voice and whispered: “Why didn’t you let him sleep where I was?”

Qu Chi also copied Xu Xingzhi and suppressed his voice: “He said that it was better ventilated there, so you would sleep more comfortably if you were by yourself.”

“Yes, it is more ventilated outside.” Xu Xingzhi murmured, “I’ll trouble you to carry Tao Xian out to sleep ba.” 

Following the request, Qu Chi attentively picked up the slumbering Tao Xian and strode out while protecting his head for fear that he would bump into the protruding rocks on the side.

Xu Xingzhi walked over. First, he looped his right arm, which was now missing a hand, under Meng Chongguang’s shoulders, and then he used the other arm to wrap around his waist. Following the other’s vertebrae, he shifted upwards bit by bit until he captured his empty right cuff. After confirming that he was clenching it tightly, he slowly straightened his upper body, and attempted to carry him towards the center of the straw mat to rest. His movements were gentle and soft like he was taking care of a bundle of cotton.

Yet, he only helped the other up a little when Meng Chongguang latched onto the person before him. He embraced Xu Xingzhi’s waist tightly and rolled around a few times on the straw mat.

Pressing Xu Xingzhi under him, he buried his cheeks into Xu Xingzhi’s shoulders and hummed softly: “. . . I caught you.” 

Xu Xingzhi was amused and tilted his head to nuzzle the other’s hair: “Awake?”

Meng Chongguang didn’t answer, his fingers just steadily slid down the small of Xu Xingzhi’s back, finally resting at his tailbone. With a light touch, Xu Xingzhi trembled all over and was so shocked that he almost swallowed his tongue: “En. . .”

Even if he was beaten to death he wouldn’t have dared to imagine that the sensitive part of his body would be located there. It was only brushed against once and he had already softened into a puddle of water as if an animal was licking and biting at his core indolently.

Keeping in mind that Qu Chi was still outside, Xu Xingzhi forcibly restrained himself to not to let any murmurs escape, scattering a big portion of the straw that was spread out neatly underneath him. 

Meng Chongguang’s reaction was more urgent than his own as he rubbed against Xu Xingzhi’s body like he was thirsty for something, but was clenching his teeth in order to hold himself back.

Xu Xingzhi realized that something was wrong and grabbed the scruff of his neck, picking him up like a kitten. He observed that the traces of cinnabar on his brow and at the end of his eye were a brilliant red that seemed like it would drip at any moment. His ceaseless pants huffed hot air onto Xu Xingzhi’s chest repetitively: “. . . Shixiong don’t be afraid, don’t move. . . I won’t bite you, I won’t suck your blood. . . Wu~~”

His throat was chock-full of pain and his Adam’s apple bobbled up and down like boiling water.

He struggled to sit up and remove himself from Xu Xingzhi, but his arms were weak making him collapse into Xu Xingzhi’s hold again and again. 

Xu Xingzhi looked at this kind of Meng Chongguang and felt like his heart was unbearably stuffy.

Meng Chongguang was born as a heavenly demon, originally using the essence of yin and yang of the heavens and earth to refine his body. He could survive solely through absorbing spiritual energy and had no need to be like normal demonic beings, feeding on blood to live.

Xu Xingzhi didn’t know why a heavenly demon would have fallen so far. Perhaps it was because the original owner spoiled him too much, or maybe it was because of the crappy settings he had set in stone himself as the originator of these ill-begotten characteristics.

To be honest, Xu Xingzhi could no longer distinguish the boundary between fantasy and reality. 

If he hadn’t clearly remembered that he had a father named Xu Sanqiu and a sister named Xu Wutong, then he might have really started to suspect whether he was the real Xu Xingzhi.

With all that said, no matter if it was Xu Ping or Xu Xingzhi, they had to take responsibility for Meng Chongguang.

He sighed: “If you’re uncomfortable, just suck my blood.”

Meng Chongguang shook his head desperately: “No, I won’t. . .” 

Xu Xingzhi pulled his collar open, revealing the straight line of his clavicle. He placed his fingertips lightly against the skin slightly above, demarcating where the light blue vein stood out: “Bite here.”

Meng Chongguang was craving it so much that he became cross-eyed. He tried his best to turn his face away but his voice was already tinged with a woeful tone: “Shixiong, don’t. . .”

His scarlet eyes forced out a layer of watery mist which amused Xu Xingzhi when he saw it. He didn’t continue this pointless conversation and pressed the other’s head between his collarbones: “I’m giving you permission to drink, why is there so much nonsense.”

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Soon, Xu Xingzhi felt his body grow cold and it was like he was palming a chunk of ice, cold and damp. Correspondingly, the body of the person before him was ignited like a ball of flames, hating that he couldn’t just meld with Xu Xingzhi and burn up into ashes together.

Xu Xingzhi was so cold that he was starting to feel sleepy. He closed his eyes and let himself faint away in slumber. Although the scarlet glow at the end of his eye had yet to fade, Meng Chongguang, who had drunk his fill, licked his lips, and pressed a chaste kiss on Xu Xingzhi’s lips.

His movements were very skillful as he sealed Xu Xingzhi’s mouth, then he cautiously stuck out the tip of his tongue to lap at Xu Xingzhi’s lips, ultimately slipping in between the gap, allowing the fragrant saliva to slowly invade and take over Xu Xingzhi’s oral cavity.

Xu Xingzhi, who had passed out, shuddered, his entire mouth tingling with numbness as if the soft, rough tongue of a kitten was naughtily rubbing itself everywhere. Yet he just so happened to be weak to this routine and the last vestiges of his strength was leisurely scoured and reaped. 

He heard someone call vaguely and sweetly: “Shixiong. . .”

For some reason, Xu Xingzhi’s heart was easily filled up by these two words and he slipped into dreamland with a peace of mind.

. . . When Xu Xingzhi woke up, his hands and feet were sore beyond comparison. Raising a hand, he covered the spot where he was bitten before he slipped into slumber. It was already completely healed, but he only needed to turn his head to the side slightly and he’d see the patch of straw that was soaked with blood not too far from where his neck laid.

He was still lying in the cave and the straw beneath him had been rearranged neatly again. Meng Chongguang sat a distance away, his shoulders shaking violently. 

Xu Xingzhi tested it and found that he still possessed the strength to get up then sat up with difficulty: “. . . Meng Chongguang?”

Meng Chongguang looked back with eyes full of tears, one blink and they would fall straight down.

Xu Xingzhi: “. . . What are you crying for?”

. . . Crying after eating one’s fill, this little brat is hard to please. 

Meng Chongguang didn’t speak; he just looked towards Xu Xingzhi while shedding tears. Each drop melted Xu Xingzhi’s heart bit by bit until he couldn’t last even a moment longer. He gestured at Meng Chongguang with his hand: “Come here.”

Meng Chongguang obediently crawled into his embrace clumsily, just like a little milk kitten.

With teary eyes, he complained in a low voice: “Why did Shixiong let me drink blood? It’s not like I couldn’t endure it. . . When I became clear-headed and saw that Shixiong didn’t move, I thought that Shixiong was once again. . .” He paused and complained aggrievedly, “. . . Shixiong, you seduced me.”

. . . Seduce. 

. . . Such a preposterous seduction wo.

But after mulling it over, Xu Xingzhi also realized that he may have been a tad too reckless.

When Meng Chongguang fell ill, his consciousness was blurred and couldn’t even distinguish between gods and ghosts. When he tasted blood, it was like a glutton encountering a delectable meal, unable to stop. Thus when he snapped out of it after ingesting blood and saw Xu Xingzhi, whose neck was bleeding and had fallen unconscious, Xu Xingzhi was afraid that Meng Chongguang’s three immortal souls would’ve been frightened until they separated from his body.

Dizzy and with blurred vision due to the drained blood, Xu Xingzhi felt deep guilt as he thought of this and stroked his hair: “Fine, blame me, alright? Don’t cry anymore, why are you acting like a delicate young maiden.” 

Meng Chongguang was petted twice in Xu Xingzhi’s arms, as a result, his agitated state became much more subdued.

He opened the storage ring and retrieved an item from within: “Shixiong, I will return your hand to you.”

He cherishingly offered up a wooden hand and prepared to help Xu Xingzhi put it on.

The wound on Xu Xingzhi’s right wrist should’ve undergone Yuan Ruzhou’s treatment and the place which was scraped until it broke skin had long become as smooth as before. However, Meng Chongguang’s movements were still extremely careful as if he was worried that he would trigger pain in the abrasion that had long been healed. 

After Meng Chongguang brought the wooden hand up close, Xu Xingzhi noticed an inconsistency: “Wait a second, this isn’t my hand ba.”

Meng Chongguang blatantly lied: “It is.”

Xu Xingzhi: “. . . My hand was made of rosewood, yours is. . .”

Meng Chongguang: “It’s Bodhi wood.” 

Xu Xingzhi still wanted to advocate his point further: “. . . My. . .”

Meng Chongguang lifted his head fiercely with tears in his eyes: “This is now Shixiong’s hand. You’re not allowed to use the one Jiu Zhideng made for you.”

Xu Xingzhi was stunned by his adorably savage smile like a fierce kitten and he subconsciously softened his attitude: “. . . Okay, alright, fine.”

He originally wanted to argue that it was the hand given to him by his father, that he had used for many years and was used to, but explaining this sort of thing was tantamount to seeking death so he could only tacitly acquiesce to Meng Chongguang’s speculation. 

But after he attached it, Xu Xingzhi was astonished: “Yo, it fits quite well.”

He rotated his wrist and just when he wanted to inquire when Meng Chongguang made it for him, Meng Chongguang already saddled up to him: “Shixiong looks better with this hand.”

Xu Xingzhi laughed: “So what, they’re all fake.”

Meng Chongguang gazed at Xu Xingzhi earnestly: “As long as it belongs to Shixiong, then it is all genuine and good.” 

Xu Xingzhi choked abruptly.

These words were heartbreaking, after all, the Xu Xingzhi who was lying here now, was in truth, the biggest lie to Meng Chongguang.

Xu Xingzhi became a little restless: “I’ll go out for a walk.”

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Meng Chongguang pressed Xu Xingzhi back: “Shixiong, have a good rest.” 

“Laying down for days, my body is all sore.” Xu Xingzhi countered and pushed Meng Chongguang, who was reluctant to use force when pinning him down, onto the straw instead, “You are the one who should be having a good rest here. You’re not allowed to get up.”

Meng Chongguang sprawled on his back and whispered his request: “. . . Give me a kiss and I’ll stay put.”

Xu Xingzhi chuckled.

The seasoned demon before him was once again seamlessly connected to the person in his memories, making Xu Xingzhi inexplicably happier and more relaxed. 

He leaned down and kissed the cinnabar mole on his forehead.

And Meng Chongguang finally laid flat down obediently, no longer making a fuss.

Before Xu Xingzhi exited the cave, he didn’t forget to remind him: “Shixiong, be cautious of your surroundings, that Ghost King may still return.”

. . . It wasn’t “may”, it was “definitely will”. 

Xu Xingzhi raised his hand to touch the spot where his heart was.

A remnant of Ye Buyi’s soul was in his body. According to the Ghost King Nan Li’s personality, he would come and snatch this vestige back no matter what the cost.

Sadly, Xu Xingzhi searched all over his body and couldn’t locate where that fragmented soul was hiding.

. . . It may have been swallowed by his original soul. After all, that soul was way too weak, as fragile as Ye Buyi himself. 

The Ghost King was an absolute b*stard, what had the young disciple who believed that “those who don’t belong to the righteous path aren’t necessarily evil” do wrong?

At the same time, Xu Xingzhi was very concerned about the half-spoken sentence that the Ghost King uttered before he drew back at the final stretch.

“You were once pur. . .”

Purged? Purged of what? 

The spiritual power and experience the Ghost King possessed were extremely powerful, it didn’t make sense that he would suddenly fall short when he was so determined to see it through. There must’ve been something that happened to himself that was beyond the other’s control.

It wasn’t difficult for Xu Xingzhi to supplement what the second half of the sentence he wanted to say was “purge the soul”, but this declaration was really absurd. The only time Xu Xingzhi could think of when he might’ve had his “soul expelled” was when he was forced into the original owner’s shell the moment he entered the savage wasteland.

However, his experience at that time was night and day compared to the cleansing this time around.

After deliberating it back and forth, Xu Xingzhi still couldn’t come up with a reasonable justification and could only stalk out in a distracted state. 

Lu Yujiu, who was stoking the flames outside the cave, caught sight of him and stood up hurriedly: “Xu-shixiong. The color in your face. . .”

Xu Xingzhi was also aware that after his blood had just been drunk, his spirit and energy may not be much different than from a dog on its last breaths. He waved his hand, not in the mood to explain: “It’s nothing, just woke up so I’m a little dizzy. Ruzhou and A’Wang ne?”

“They went hunting.”

Xu Xingzhi continued: “Fatty Zhou ne.” 

Lu Yujiu’s eyes hidden behind the mask lowered slightly as he answered softly: “West a hundred paces then south six hundred paces. He is there.”

Xu Xingzhi was curious: “He is alone?”

Lu Yujiu pursed his lips and organized his words for a moment before stating: “He and his body are together.”

Xu Xingzhi oh-ed, strode outwards a few steps before he realized what Lu Yujiu was referring to: “. . . He found it?” 

“Yes, it’s found. He had his accident around here that year, Zhou-shijie too.” Lu Yujiu disclosed quietly, “He searched for three days and finally found it. He said he wanted to be alone. . . with his remains for a while.”

Wilted grass and withered trees, the cold winds blew as the sun set in the west. Zhou Beinan sat there alone, one man and one spear. The ghostly spear that Nan Li had crushed into powder had been restored and was inserted obliquely into the ground, its red tassels flapping in the wind like leaping fish and soaring dragons.

Before Xu Xingzhi could approach, Zhou Beinan picked up a stone and threw it behind him without looking back: “I want to be alone, back off.”

Xu Xingzhi retrieved the stone and squatted down: “I won’t go over, I’ll just stand here. Whenever you feel like it’s too quiet, just call for me, and I’ll relieve your boredom for you.” 

Zhou Beinan didn’t speak and so Xu Xingzhi just stayed on his haunches, unfolding the fan he carried with him to generate a breeze for his face.

After seeing the glaring characters “Under the heavens, if I can’t, who can?” these words, Xu Xingzhi shallowly ran his fingertips along the strokes of the brush. Each grain of golden sand could easily be counted and the youthful spirit of the brush marks were extremely sharp, a refreshing energy of forging ahead without turning back emanated from it.

Shortly after, Zhou Beinan stretched out his hand to pat the spot beside him, signaling for Xu Singzhi to come over.

Xu Xingzhi was on standby. Standing up, he stomped his feet and headed over. 

It was not until he approached that Xu Xingzhi saw that there was a deep pit about ten feet deep in front of Zhou Beinan. The other sat by its edge, his feet dangling over it.

He stretched out his neck and looked down and only saw a set of bones that had been decaying forlornly for thirteen years with a long spear wedged in the scapula of the right shoulder.

. . . Xu Xingzhi recognized that this was the long steel spear that belonged to Zhou Beinan from the original owner’s memories.

Xu Xingzhi wanted to say something, but Zhou Beinan only shushed him and motioned for him not to say anything. 

The pale, withered bones suddenly let out a long groan and then layers of flesh wrapped around them one coat at a time.

Very quickly, another “Zhou Beinan” manifested in the depths of the pit, it was the Zhou Beinan from thirteen years ago.

Thirteen years ago, Zhou Beinan, who encountered the Ghost King on narrow roads with five or six Yingtianchuan cultivators following him, all died unexpectedly and was tossed down into a deep pit. His right shoulder blade was nailed through with a long spear, the bone of his left arm was broken in three sections, and his legs were also twisted from the fall impact. He laid at the bottom of the pit, cursing and yelling non-stop.

Yet the Ghost King Nan Li, the ultimate cause, just ignored and abandoned him. 

After departing and then returning, Nanli crouched down by the edge of the pit, a warm and gentle smile was spread across his face: “. . . I ne, helped you take a look just now. Your sister seemed to have had a postpartum hemorrhage and bled all over the place, when I arrived, she was already dead. . . . You can rest assured that I crushed her soul into powder before it could consolidate, so she won’t be able to transform into a ghost even if she wanted to.”

Hearing his words, Zhou Beinan glared viciously: “You. . . You f*cking—”

“This is the retribution for you hypocrites who fall into my hands.” Nan Li’s voice echoed in the air ethereally. He pointed into the distance and cupped his face below his ear, grinning viciously, “. . . Can you hear it? Your sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was crying when I approached earlier ne. But I’m not interested in such a small child so I’ll leave her to you ba. Just listen to her cries like this, cherish it well. In two days, she won’t be able to cry anymore.”

Zhou Beinan attempted to struggle, but his shoulder was pinned too securely since his scapula was completely penetrated. He couldn’t gather his spiritual power at all. 

He refused to believe what Nan Li said and projected his voice loudly: “Xiao-Xian’er! Xiao-Xian’er! Your brother is over here! Just answer if you can hear me!”

Nan Li sauntered away, laughing rambunctiously.

Not long after, the rustling symphony of the bamboo fungus transmitted outwards from near to far, then it gradually faded into silence along with the cries of the baby.

Zhou Beinan laid in the pit while time slipped away silently. 

After a day, or maybe two, he could no longer hear his niece’s cries.

Perhaps the child was dead, or perhaps the child was taken away by a denizen in the savage wasteland and slaughtered. Neither of which was known.

Zhou Beinan was trapped in the pit, unable to leave, unable to move. All he could see was the small circle of the wasteland sky exposed above.

For the first few days, he exploded in a string of expletives, roared as loudly as he could, yet no one could capture his voice. Later, his voice became hoarse, eroded by the wind and sand until he could not speak. Then following that, insects crawled onto his body, drilling into and gnawing at his wounds with reckless abandon while he was completely helpless against it. 

. . . He spent the last sixteen days of his life in this dark pit.

Zhou Beinan eyes full of hope were covered by coats of dust and then layers of darkness pressed down on top of that, until finally, despair like dead ash devoured him.

Zhou Beinan’s enthusiastic and lackadaisical life ended just like that in the pitch black ashy pit of the savage wasteland.

When the “Zhou Beinan” below was in bathed in the final radiance of the setting sun, Xu Xingzhi could distinctly hear Zhou Beinan yelling several names in a hoarse voice desperately: “Xiao-Xian’er! Qu Chi!! Xuechen! . . . Xu Xingzhi! Xingzhi!!!” 

After calling out the names of these people, the last ray of light in the eyes of “Zhou Beinan” lying underneath faded out.

Soon after, “Zhou Beinan” returned.

It repeated over and over, mechanically playing everything he experienced before dying again and again.

Zhou Beinan sat down by the edge of the deep pit, watching a rerun of the process of his own death repeatedly while Xu Xingzhi silently accompanied him to watch it repeatedly. 

—Zhou Beinan was a “dark ghost” who had lost his memories.

—The sole reason for a ghostly spirit to become a “dark ghost” was that the cause of death was so tragic that his soul disintegrated, and his five mortal souls became fractured. He was in so much agony that he was unwilling to recall his death.

After watching it again, Zhou Beinan laughed.

“. . . I actually called out your name before I died.” Zhou Beinan mused, “I must’ve been out of my mind.” 

Xu Xingzhi didn’t know what to say: “. . . I’m sorry. If I was there at the time. . .”

Zhou Beinan hung his head, a wry smile gracing his lips: “Thirteen years have already passed, what’s the point of this now.”

He lowered his gaze and took a look at his appearance thirteen years ago, murmuring to himself: “While studying back then, I often couldn’t wrap my head around the meaning of some poems. I had always thought that it was just for the sake of reinforcing new words, but now, I understand.”

He pointed his finger at the gloomy sky above, dragged out his tone and enunciated word for word: “The Yellow Crane has deserted the rock-face projected over the water, are old friends still here now? Those which had passed and were familiar became stained with new sorrows. If you want to buy Osmanthus sweets and bring wine, it’s no longer. . .” 

After reading up to the last sentence, the volume of his voice fell. He stretched out his hand to pat Xu Xingzhi’s shoulder: “. . . It’s no longer, a youthful journey.”

The author has something to say:

Chongguang: kitten’s tongue, licking the entire body

Author’s Chapter Summary: 

Drinking blood, deep pit, youthful journeyp pit, youthful journey

The translator has something to say: ZBN’s words really hit me hard. . . This was a hard chapter to get through

The editor has something to say: He spent his last moments alone :(((

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