I.. wasn't burning. What happened? I remembered staring out the window, and then, light. I looked down at my body.
I was still wearing my clothes from the funeral, but the water accumulated from my walk home was gone. And, I noticed the hand that I had smashed into the wall earlier was completely healed.
"Fingers are all there," I made a fist. "Works too."
Also, my shoes which I clearly remembered taking off were back on. It was like someone had scanned my body at the funeral, and decided to paste me at this.. where was I?
I stood up. I was standing on a translucent, white sea that stretched out endlessly, and as I tapped my foot on the ground, the floor rippled.
"You know, it's rude to ignore someone."
Right. The girl, the one who woke me up. I focused on her as she lazily looked up at me.
"Who-"
"Ah, one second," she murmured. Then, the ground below her segmented into a cubed platform, and started to float. Pale liquid dripped from the sides, not unlike blood, as it elevated until we were eye-to-eye.
"Equal footing," She said mirthfully. "Sorry, please continue."
I could see her clearly now, and she embodied the concept of 'pure'. Her skin was white as snow, and her hair with its almost-metallic sheen came down in waves to where her legs tantalizingly sprawled out from inside her dress. Her face was perfectly proportionate, set with clear, cerulean eyes.
What in the actual fuck was going on? Beauty beyond the word 'beautiful,' and earth-bending superpowers - since when was the afterlife this strange? This wasn't biblically accurate at all!
I cleared my throat. "Are you God?".
Her blue eyes twinkled merrily as she dangled her legs from the platform, and she smiled wide.
"Something like that, I suppose."
Christ almighty, I was talking to God, the God. Historians would drop their jaws to the floor if they knew the almighty deity was just a silver-haired, beautiful girl.
"Then," I wanted to make sure. "Am I dead?"
At this, her smile deepened. "Correct!"
Huh. I was really dead. I was in that great beyond, the place where priests had promised, and philosophers had denied.
"Lots to take in, I'm sure."
"I.. for some reason, I don't feel that shocked," I confessed.
"Hm?" her platform soared until we we're within arms-length, and she gazed into my eyes. It felt vaguely uncomfortable, as if someone was brushing a feather all over my insides.
"Sorry." She floated back slowly. "Just checking for any soul-burn."
"Soul-burn?"
"It's sort of like ****** *** ***** ******," her mouth opened, but the words felt like static buzzing in my head.
I didn't have time to think about it, as I remembered my situation.
"My family," I blurted out. "They died five days ago, is there any way, any possibility that I can see them?"
"You've certainly got your priorities straight," she giggled. "Family-man, girls relish them, you know? But, I'm afraid you can't do that."
My heart sank. I hadn't lived perfectly, but I definitely didn't deserve to go to hell. And the thought of seeing my parents again, giving just one more "I love you" - I would do anything for it.
"Why can't I see them?" My voice trembled.
"Oh no, you haven't done anything wrong, darling." She shook her hands. "It's just that I made a bit of an error, you see?"
She reached her right hand out into the air, and a fat, worn book that was bulging at the seams materialized into her grasp. Pink post-it notes stuck out from inside it, and she started to flip through the pages.
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"You see, I have a bit of a reputation to uphold. Omnipotent, omniscient, all-powerful, the whole package, right? But I'm no robot for my sake! Even I get tired when I don't have my coffee, and I admit, it was one of those mornings when I made that teensy-tiny mistake concerning you." She stopped flipping, and pointed her finger at a page.
Anxiety crept into my voice. "What do you mean by mistake?"
"Well." Her eyes scanned down to her finger. "That truck, for one."
The space was silent, and all I could see was her smile. That truck, she said. The one that had ruined my life. The one that for no discernible reason had gone haywire.
The driver's face ran through my mind, the image of his eyes racing frantically as he screamed about magic.
"You know, I'm really sorry about that. There was this teenage boy just a crossing over, and I could swear-"
I ran up and punched her in the face. She had taken everything from me, and she didn't even feel an ounce of regret. In my head I saw her smiling, eyes twinkling like they held a secret. Fuck. I swung again, and again, the blows ringing out into the air until all I could hear was my own heavy breathing.
"You know, it's also rude to interrupt someone."
A thin, glassy barrier weakly shined in front of her, trails of blood from my barrage streaming down its surface.
"You've hurt yourself too, and after all the work I did to fix you." She was still smiling, but her eyes were ice-cold.
"You killed.." I choked up. "You took away my family."
"Yes, and I apologized didn't I?" She patiently explained.
I raised my fist again. "You damn bitc-"
"Stop."
My hand paused mid-air, and I couldn't move my mouth.
"Calm."
A relaxing wave washed over me, and the rage boiling inside simmered down. The world slowed, and my tensed muscles loosened.
"Better?" she asked.
I tried to speak, but words wouldn't come out.
"Ah, I forgot." She tossed the book away and waved her hand.
The constricted feeling disappeared, and I gingerly massaged my jaw while glaring at her. The sight of her smiling didn't inspire any feelings of anger or sadness inside of me like it had before, but I was wary.
"Why'd you bring me here?" I spit. "Missed me with the truck and decide to clean up your dirty work?"
"I told you, that was just an accident. Even I have a heart, you know?"
"Then send me to my family," I retorted.
She shook her head, her hair flying around, and chortled. "Can't do that!"
I wanted to feel frustrated, but her strange command was still in effect and I just felt tired. Was I just the punchline to a sick joke held by the bored residents of heaven? I wonder if Gabriel was about to pop his head out from the floor, wings spread out as he held a camera to my face.
Her voice shook me out of my musings. "It's better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission, have you heard of that?"
"I didn't know goddesses kept up with silly human sayings."
"Silly, maybe, but remember, even I have a heart." Her smile slid from her face as she reached out with her hand, a small transparent orb hovering on her palm.
Inside it, I saw myself getting engulfed by light, a rattled mind in its death throes echoing out a desperate plea.
"This." She looked at me. "Is my apology."
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