Chapter 210: Behind the outpost

"Umm... h-hello..."

The black-haired elven mage approached the lone person sitting by the back wall of the outpost.

"...what do you want...?"

The person turned out to be Ti.

The platinum-haired bodyguard with copper-colored eyes.

Though her eyes weren't really visible at the moment since she was hiding her head in her knees.

...and her voice was hoarse from crying...

"..."

That made Lairs stop in place and hesitate.

"...if you are here to console me about Cri and Cal's, thank you, but I don't need any more pretty words. The Sloth soldiers have said enough..."

Ti was doing a good job at controlling her voice but her shoulders would not stop shaking once she mentioned the death of her comrades.

"...fuck me... this whole situation just sucks so hard..."

Lairs couldn't find the right words to respond to that and ended up breaking her gentle act.

She leaned against the wall and slid down until she was seated on the ground, two steps away from the mourning Ti.

"...yeah... yeah, it does..."

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Whether it was because of the unusual words used, or because she was shocked that the black-haired elf didn't leave, Ti ended up agreeing with Lairs, in a weak voice.

"..."

"..."

The two of them stayed silent for a few minutes - Ti with her face hidden and Lairs just staring at the fogged sky.

"...they were so much better bodyguards than I was...

Before another minute passed, Ti sobbed, clenching her fists.

Lairs said nothing and just listened.

"...I was always the one physically strongest and always had an easier time disguising myself to protect our target, but I never once thought that I wanted to use my own life to protect the client..."

The platinum-haired woman breathed out, trying to calm down.

"Cri was more carring than anyone and Cal was the most gentle person I've ever known... that's why it was okay for me to be distant... our strength and weakness complimented each other. As long as there were the three of us working as a team - and if we were serious - we could even stop the outbursts of anger of the avatar of wrath..."

"...?"

Lairs tilted her head in confusion, not quite sure where Ti was going with her talk but nonetheless, she kept her mouth closed.

"...that time, when our young miss got stomped down by the giant spider... both Cri and Cal rushed in without any hesitation, but... but I..."

The bodyguard's voice broke down into a heartbroken cry.

"...I just stood there!"

Ti turned her head towards the silent Lairs, showing her tear-stained face and copper-colored eyes, red and swollen from hours of shedding tears.

"...I thought to myself - I'm not going to die for that girl! I betrayed Cri and Cal...! It's my fault that they...!"

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*hug*

Her words were interrupted by Lairs.

Instead of saying some useless noble-sounding words, the black-haired elf got to her and locked her in a protective embrace.

"Fucking hell! Do you even hear yourself, idiot?! If you went with them, the only thing that would change would be the fucking number of deceased people would be higher or by one!"

And instead of warm words, what left Lairs's mouth was a pained scolding.

"...!"

Ti's body stiffened from shock, and Lairs pulled away from her while keeping her hands on the bodyguard's shoulders.

"You think you would fucking change anything?! Haven't you heard what my older brother, Shan-shan, has said?! The stats and max level we have in the south are worth less than shit in here!"

Lairs shook Ti's shoulders and exclaimed.

"I know that your comrades were the most important to you and their deaths hurt the most, but not only they died while trying to save that girl! That tamer girl lost two wolves right there and the third one that saved us all is probably dead too, and most of the Sloth soldiers that rushed that titan-class were wiped out too! It's not like one more person could change anything!"

She said looking Ti in the eyes.

"...n-no..."

But Ti looked away.

"Don't say that... if you say it like that, the only other person I can blame will be the young miss...!"

She shook her head, collapsing into Lairs's arms.

"...if only she didn't stick her nose in other people's business, none of this would have happened in the first place! She only needed to stay in the dumb carriage but she just had to go save some travelers! It's all her fault that we got here, and Cri and Cal and all the others all died while trying to save her while she got scared, went berserk, and messed everything up completely!"

Ti growled crying her heart out into Lairs's chest.

"..."

Lairs's eyes widened but she just let Ti continue to pour out all the pain troubling her heart.

"It's unfair...! It's so unfair! We were only doing our job! Why am I the only one left alive?! Why didn't I go together with Cri and Cal?! It would be better if I died with them! I shouldn't be allowed to continue living! I even blame young miss for my own failure...!"

"..."

Hearing that made Lairs breathe out.

Ti wasn't actually hating the ashen-haired girl nor anyone else.

She was just overwhelmed by the loss of two people that were closest to her and was trying to come to terms with it.

The only one who she truly blamed was herself.

The black-haired elf put her hand on the platinum hair of the bodyguard and started gently patting it.

"Why am I like this...? You... please... blame me... say that I am a detestable person and I should have died together with my friends, instead of blaming the young miss for my lack of decisiveness...!"

Ti trembled and looked up at Lairs's face.

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"You just wanted to live, if you want someone to blame you for that, then you should try talking with someone other than a member of the Dandelions."

But Lairs just smiled and continued patting her head.

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