The Weakest Hero

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: A Rocky Start


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Even opened his eyes to see his familiar room replaced with cold, dark stone. As his eyes searched his surroundings, he found himself in a small cavern, roughly 3 meters in diameter. Water slowly fell from a lone stalactite on the ceiling and dripped against the hard stone floor, forming a small pool.

‘It looks so real…’ he thought to himself, as he slowly began to stand up. After hobbling to his feet, he reached out and touched the cavern wall. His fingers brushed against the stone, only to be pulled back covered in a fine layer of dust.

“Well, it wouldn’t be called one of the greatest games of all time if it wasn’t at least this real, right?”

Content with his thoughts, Even turned around and started to look for a way out. He was met with barren stone walls. “Maybe there’s a secret passage or something?” he muttered to himself.

Even started to feel around the stone walls, exploring the surface for any secret buttons or levers. Thirty minutes later, he had gone all the way around the room and returned to his starting place. “It’s got to be here somewhere, it just has to be. I must have missed it.”, he said while starting his second pass around the room. Thirty minutes later, he once again found himself right back where he started.

“AAHHHH! Why can’t I find this stupid exit!” he yelled, squeezing the unforgiving stone in his frustration.

<TRING>

Even stopped, looking around himself in confusion. Only to see a blue window pop up in front of his vision.

<New Title Unlocked – Stone Groper*>

“UUhhhh”. Even looked at the blue window with intense disgust. “HOW ON EARTH DID I GET THIS TITLE!”

A voice appeared in Even’s ear. <Answer. User has groped a stone wall for a period of over one hour>

Even looked down at his hands holding the stone wall, then back at the notification, then back at his hands. He let go of the wall, a guilty expression on his face.

“So… Can I refuse the title?”

<Answer. No. Title has already been added to the user’s account>

“Ahhh, I see…” Even fell to his knees and started to cry inside. “Why did my first title have to be so stupid?!?” he screamed to the cavern ceiling. “Why!”

<Answer. Because the user has groped a stone wall for over one hour>

“I didn’t ask you!” he screamed at the system.

Even started to forcefully take deep breaths. The cold damp air moved in and out of his lungs as he slowly started to calm down. Rationality had returned to him once more. He couldn’t get rid of the title, so he might as well get something out of it.

His voice came out steady once again. “So, what effect does the “Stone Groper” title give?”

<Answer. The ‘Stone Groper’ title gives a 1% increase to skills that analyze stone objects when equipped>

“Please define skills that analyze stone objects.”

<Answer. Previous answer was sufficient>

Even took more deep breaths. “So, how do I equip titles”

<Answer. Titles can be equipped from the status screen or in the tutorial by request.>

“Ahh, I see…”

<Question. Would you like to equip your title now?>

Even thought deeply. ‘Equipping the title is super embarrassing, but it may be helpful in the future…’ His reason conflicted with his emotions. Reason won. ‘I can always equip a different title when I get a better one.’ “Please equip the new title”

<Title Equipped – Stone Groper*>

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<Congratulations, you have equipped a title! New title earned – Title Bearer (upgradable)>

<New Title has the (upgradable) feature. Perform greater feats to upgrade the tier of this title!>

“Eh…” Even looked at the new notification that had replaced the previous one. “Another one? I thought titles were supposed to be hard to get? What’s this title even do?”

<Answer. The ‘Title Bearer’ title has no function. Upgrade it to increase functionality.>

Shrugging to himself, Even dismissed the blue screen and brought himself back to the problem at hand. He had already checked the stone walls, twice even, and had yet to find any sort of hidden passageway. The room had almost no ceiling to think of, and the stalactite obviously wasn’t going to help. All that left was the pool in the center of the room.

Walking over to the pool barely two feet in diameter, Even carefully avoided the stalactite with his head and peered downwards. He Froze. Looking back up at him was a man with chestnut hair and turquoise eyes. A plain face on the upper side of average was framed by a short beard. Slowly, the man in the pool’s hands reached up and touched its face. Even feeling his own hands run across his beard confirmed that this new face was, in fact, his.

“They weren’t kidding when they advertised immersion.” Even whispered to himself. His eyes locked on his new beard.

A grin forced its way onto his face as he ran his hands through his beard again. And again. He never was able to grow a beard in the real world, just patchy stubble. If only for this, he had got his money’s worth out of the game already.

Small ripples distorting his face snapped him out of his reverie. Looking just slightly above his head he noticed a banner floating there in his reflection.

[<Unnamed> - Stone Groper*]

<TRING>

Another blue window appeared in front of him.

<User has not selected an account name. To enter the tutorial, the user must select a name.>

<Please select a name.>

“Uhhhh…” Even said, startled by the unexpected prompt.

<I’m sorry, that name is taken. Would you like to select the name “Uhhhh231” instead?>

Even snapped back to himself. Being stuck with a name like that would be atrocious. In fact, he felt sorry for the people who had accidentally picked that name. “No thank you, are there any requirements for picking a name?”

<Answer. Yes. Name must be unique, less than 32 characters, and cannot be only blanks.>

Even fell into thought. He obviously couldn’t pick his real name, that could cause all sorts of problems and was nearly guaranteed to be taken already. He hadn’t really played games all that much before, so he couldn’t just grab an old ID and call it good. Coming up with some random name would work, but whatever name he picked he would be stuck with for the rest of his gaming experience, so it shouldn’t be hard to say or cringe-worthy. ‘I can’t use my real name, but maybe I can do a spin-off of it’

“Hey System, is the name ‘Eventide’ taken?”

<Answer. Yes. Would you like to select the name ‘Eventide21’ instead?>

“No thank you. Hmmmm. What about ‘InEvenable’?”

<Answer. No. Would you like to select the name ‘Inevenable’?>

It was a bad pun. A really bad pun. But the name wasn’t taken, and Even was not really in the mood to guess names all day. “Yes. Please set my name to ‘Inevenable’.”

With a loud rumble, the ceiling started to crumble. The stalactite in the center of the room broke off and fell from the ceiling into the pool below. Water from the pool rushed up like a geyser, covering the floor. When the rumbles subsided, Even saw to his surprise that the rubble had formed a staircase leading upwards.

<Name has been set. Tutorial will now commence. Welcome ‘Inevenable’ to the world of Meldrava.>

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