The Weapons Guy

Chapter 10: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pain.


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At red base Lopez is working on a overturned Warthog while Grif is explaining to Sarge what happened.

"And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but, uh, well, that's when the tank showed up and... shit just started blowin' up. I don't know." Grif explains to Sarge.

Sarge sighs. "Grif... do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?"

"I-I don't know, like, uh, what... then, t-ten- twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh... You-you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?"

"Tell you what, Grif. I'm a fair man." Sarge explains as Lopez stands up and looks to Grif. "I'll give you ten second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to you."

"Guys, I just want you to know, I'm really, really sore here, and-"

"Five Mississippi." Lopez aims his rifle at Grif.  "Six Mississippi."

Grif takes a step back. "Okay, uh, I guess I better get going then." He begins to walk away.

Sarge and Lopez look to each other then back at Grif and begins to shoot at him.

"Hey, guys, that's not funny! Somebody could get hurt here."

A little later on top of Red Base.

"So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed." Grif tells the others. "Probably because SOMEBODY didn't believe in it." He looks to Simmons.

"Bullshit." Simmons says. "He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges."

Ash looks to Simmons. "He said the same thing to me."

Donut is holding the flag. "Hey, since I captured the flag, you think they'll give me my own color armor now?"

"What do you mean 'Captured?'" Simmons asks. "You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot."

"Not even I would fall for that." Ash says.

"Still, you think there's a shot?" Donut asks.

"Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog." Simmons tells Donut.

Grif laughs slightly. "Yeah." Then he turns to Simmons. "W-wait. You don't- you don't think they'd do that, do you?"

Simmons looks behind them and then walks over to the edge of the base and looks around.

"Simmons, what's going on?" Grif asks. "What's over there?"

"I thought I saw something for a second." Simmons replies.

"Did they find, my weapons stash?!" Ash yells. "My shoulder hurts again!" 

Grif looks to Donut, who's still holding the flag. "Hey, rookie, tuck the flag someplace safe until we can figure out what's going on."

"Good idea." Donut says. "I was sick of carrying this thing anyway." He throws it down the hole in the roof.

Grif walks over to Simmons.

"Did you hear that?" Simmons asks Grif.

"Yeah." Grif replies.

Donut whispers. "Hey. What's going on?"

"Why are we whispering." Ash whispers.

Something blue lands on Donut's face.

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"Oh, pretty." Ash says.

Grif turns around. "What the fuck?" He takes a step back.

"What?" Donut asks.

Simmons turns around and looks at Donut. "What is that thing?"

"What thing?" Donut is starting to panic.

"There's something on your head." Grif tells Donut.

"What, is it a spider?" Donut asks. "Get it off!"

"No, it's not a spider, it's like a blue thing." Simmons says.

"A pretty blue thing." Ash says.

"What, like a blue spider?" Donut asks. "Get it off!"

"It's not a spider!" Grif yells. "Calm down. It's some kinda... fuzzy pulsating thing."

"That doesn't sound much better than a spider."

"Does it hurt?" Simmons asks.

"No." Donut replies. 

Simmons and Grif look to Ash.  After a second Ash look to them

"What?" Ash asks.

"Well, do you know what it is?" Grif asks.

Ask turns to Donut and stares at the blue thing. "Hmmm." He turns to Grif and Simmons. "Nope."

"I thought you were knowledgeable on things." Simmons says.

"I'm knowledgeable on weapons. And if that thing is a weapon of sorts. I've never seen it."

 "Maybe we should try to take it off." 

"Good idea. Go for it." Grif says to Simmons.

"Me? By 'we' I meant 'you." Simmons turns to Grif. "Asshole."

"Well, somebody needs to get it off." Donut says to them. "Look, it might be dangerous."

The blue thing explodes. 

"Son of a bitch!" Grif and Simmons yell.

"It was a grenade!" Ash yells. Something hits Ash in the back of the head and he falls to the ground. "I've been hit!"

Grif looks around. "So- Where'd he go?"

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06-27-2022

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