Chapter 105: Reconstruction Chapter 11

Chairman: Dear Director.

Fade in to the beach of Zanzibar where numerous objects fall from the sky as the Chairman speaks.

Chairman: Do your “creative solutions” include the circumvention of the safety protocols that every member of the Military must follow? If they do not, then I fail to see how an enemy has managed to secure not one, but several of your experimental A.I.s. The protocol is not a guideline, dear Director, it is doctrine. And no one is above its rule.

Cut to Grif running for his life as a tumbling Warthog chases behind him.

Grif: Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, ooooh God!

The Warthog hits two palm trees, nearly crushing Grif. Church walks out of his hiding place.

Church: Oh my God, that guy got fucked up!

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Grif yells.

"Aw, he lived?" Church asks. "That's bullshit!"

Ash pops out. "KARMA BITCH!"

Ash and Church go back into hiding.

Sarge: Grif, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, you gotta pay attention in battle! You can't let yourself get distracted by- oh crap, flying jeep.

A flying Warthog, thrown by the Meta, nearly hits Sarge.

Simmons: Run!

Simmons and Sarge retreat, chased by several falling objects of considerable size and mass

Church: Well. Guess they're definitely not workin' together.

Washington: Now that he's powered up, he's just killing everything. We're next.

"Oh no!" Ash yells. "I haven't finished Dragon Maid Season two yet!"

"Move it or lose it!" Sarge yells as he runs in.

"Yeah, come on!" Simmons yells as he runs it, "Scooch! Scooch!

"Hey!" Church yells.

"Get out of here Reds!" Church yells. "This is our cover!

Sarge looks to Ash. "Good job securing this area, Ash."

"Thank you, Sir." Ash says.

"What is that thing??" Simmons asks Church.

"You guys remember Tex?" Church asks them.

"Yeah, the girl who kicked our asses all the time?"

"Yeah well this thing is like.... eight of her."

The building shakes from an explosion.

Wash turns to Church. "It must be at full power now! Church, you and the Reds keep it busy, I'm going to help Caboose."

Wash runs away.

"Did he say 'keep it busy'??" Simmons asks.

"Yeeeeeah." Church says.

"How the hell do we do that??"

Sarge and Ash look out the door.

"Looks like Grif is doing a pretty good job already." Sarge says.

Grif: Okay I get it! Stop throwing things at me, you fucking jackass!

Sarge: Keep up the good work, Grif!

"You deserve that Grif!" Ash yells. "My only shoulder hurts again!"

A pole lands on top of Grif.

Grif: Ow! Okay, that could have taken out an eye!

Cut to Wash arriving at Caboose's limp body

Washington: (whispering) Caboose. Are you okay? Caboose. Dammit. Delta, are you here? Delta?

Wash places a healing unit next to Caboose in order to revive him. Radio sounds

Washington: Church, I have Caboose. He's hurt, but I'm going to keep him alive with a healing unit. How are you doing with the Meta?

Church: (over radio) Eheee! We're dying!

Washington: Oh, great.

Cut back to everyone else except Grif as the Reds' Warthog, playing Tejano music, skids past the room they're all cowering in. Sarge pops out.

"Hey come on!" Sarge yells at the Meta. "We've still got payments left on that thing!" He moves back inside. "You better not scratch the pain job!"

Meta: (swooshing/growling sounds)

Washington: Hi. Remember me?

Wash approaches and fires at the Meta with a chain gun, and the Meta slows time, changes his armor back to white, and leaves

"He's gone!" Wash yells.

Everyone leaves the little building.

"Dammit!" Wash turns to the others. "You IDIOTS! We almost had it!!"

"Almost had it?!" Simmons says. "We never even hurt it!"

"I'm okay if anyone is asking." Ash says. "I'm only in a small amount of pain from when Grif shot me."

Church turns to Simmons. "He means before you got here! We had it crippled, then you guys showed up and fucked everything up!"

Sarge speaks up. "Oh yeah, you guys looked like you had EVERYTHING under control before we got there."

"Hey, up yours Red! I don't see you doing anything heroic!"

"It. Threw. Our. Car. At. Us!" Simmons explains.

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"I'm fine by the way!" Grif says. "Just in case anyone's wondering!"

Ash aims his DMR at Grif and fires. 

"FUCK!" Grif falls to the ground.

"Jackass." Ash says.

Wash speaks up. "Well! The three of you are staying with us now. I can't possibly hope to fight the META in this state with Just Ash, Church and--"

"CABOOSE!" Wash and Church yell.

Cut to everyone crowded around Caboose, who still passed out peacefully

Church: Wash, what's the verdict?

Washington: I don't know. He seems okay. I think he was knocked out, I just can't get him to come out of it.

Caboose: (mumbling) Whuh, I, memory is the key.

Washington: What's he mumbling?

Church: I can't make it out, but... I don't really understand half the stuff he says normally.

Washington: This makes no sense. All his vitals check out. Now why can't I revive him? Hey do you guys know a medic around here by any chance?

The Reds: NO!

Church: Well maybe removing Delta did something to him. Like a, uh, coma or somethin'.

Washington: Yeah, but there's no way to know that for sure. Unless you have a way to see inside his head. Prep him for evac, I'll put in a call to Command and get an extract going. This is Recovery One calling Command. Come in Command...

Washington wanders off up the ramp

Simmons: Hey Blue, why don't you do that thing? You know, the thing you do. The ghost thing.

Church: Yeah, this guy doesn't know about that, so I don't really wanna let him know and freak him out. Why don't you go keep him occupied, I'll see what I can do.

Simmons heads up to join Wash

Simmons: Hey, Agent Washington, I think it turns out we do know a medic after all. But he's really far away. Maybe if we run around this corner right here we'll get better reception.

Church crouches down and leaves his body, then enters Caboose's mind

Church: Euh. I hate coming here.

Mental Wash: Hello.

Church: Agent Washington?

Mental Wash: Yes. I am Agent Washing Tub. How are you doing, Caboose's best friend?

Church: Oh, right. Hi Agent Washington.

Mental Wash: What is this place?

Church: This is Caboose's mind, so everybody here is pretty much as Caboose sees the world. That means everyone's gonna be either really happy, or make no sense whatsoever.

Mental Wash: I see. That's valuable information. I will take that information, and I will keep it in a special folder marked secret. Everyone knows that is the best security there is.

Church: I see.

Mental Wash: Don't tell anyone I told you that.

Church: Actually you act a lot like you do on the outside.

Mental Wash: I would like to think that's because I present myself in a very clear and consistent manner. Now if you will excuse me, I need to scare some people who are just trying to help me, and then go fight monsters and robots from the future. Freelancer power, activate!

Mental Wash leaves

Church: Yeah, okay, good luck with that.

Delta appears, as a normal sized soldier in green armor

Delta: Hello Church.

Church: Delta?

Mental Caboose: Yes, this is my new friend Delta. I believe he has information for you.

Church: Awesome!

Delta: Unfortunately, I have been taken by the Meta. This is merely a memory I left in Caboose's mind to help you along your way.

Church: Well, then how are you talking to me?

Delta: I am not. I merely used logic to determine what questions you would ask, and in what order. Then I left the appropriate responses.

Church: Oh really.

Delta: Yes. Really. I left this memory in case you found it. Please tell Agent Washington that memory is the key.

Mental Caboose: Memory is the key.

Church: Memory is the key? What does that mean?

Delta: Wash will know.

Church: Okay seriously, does it have to be a riddle? Can't you just tell me what you want me to do? How hard would that be? I bet this is your fault somehow.

Mental Caboose: I just work here.

Church: Well if you're in the Meta, then why don't you just help us from the inside?

Delta: Church, I have to be objective. The next time you see me, I may not want you to help me.

Church pops out of Caboose

Church: Delta, Delta, wait! "Memory is the key"? What about the Meta, what about-

Grif: Uh, dude?

Church looks up. Camera reveals Washington and Simmons staring at Church while in ghost form.

Simmons: Yeah, turns out I'm not so good at distracting.

Church: Wash, don't panic, I can explain.

Grif: Yeah, see when Simmons was boring you with random conversation about nerd stuff, he was really just trying to distract you from what the blue guy here was doing.

Sarge: He means explain the fact that he's a ghost.

Grif: Oh, right. Yeah, he can explain that part too.

Sarge: Idiot.

"Can I blow something up?" Ash asks.

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07-11-2022

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