The Weapons Guy

Chapter 247: Armonia, Part One


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Pan in to the Federal Army and New Republic firing at Charon's forces at Armonia. One New Republic soldier is killed. Cut to the War room, where the Blood Gulch Crew, Doyle and Kimball are seen. An alarm blares in the background.

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"I thought you guys said we were safe at the Capital!" Simmons shouts.

"I never thought they'd be so bold!" Doyle starts. "They'd take too many casualties!"

"I guess they don't care how many people they lose." Wash states. "Once they have the sword, it won't matter."

Sarge loads his shotgun and pumps his shotgun. "Then it sounds like we gotta make sure they lose all their men!"

O'Malley laughs. "Yes! Forget the counseling session. Bring on the blood bath!"

Ash reloads his DMR. "I'm ready to kick some ass."

"Let's get out there and stick it to 'em, gang!" Donut says.

"Hold up." Church says and everyone looks at him. "Um, I got a better idea, but... you're probably not gonna like it."

"Can't be much worse than the current one." Grif says.

"It's  like Kimball said, the Capital's a death trap... but not for us."

Kimball and Doyle look to each other.

Cut to two Space pirates firing at two Feds and Dr. Grey, who are under cover, at the hospital. One of the Feds stands up and fires at the pirates but is shot down immediately.

Federal Army Soldier 1: Ungh! (falls down and dies)

Federal Army Soldier 2: (ducks down, frightened) Ahhh...!

ARMONIA HOSPITAL

Dr. Grey: What are you doing? We've got patients to save!

Federal Army Soldier 2: Uhhh, yes ma'am! (stands up, firing at them, but then is shot in the arm and falls down next to Dr. Grey) Ahh, my arm!

Dr. Grey: (sarcastic) Oh, so now human limbs are a bad thing!

Suddenly, the firing stops. Dr. Grey stands up to see what happened. Palomo, Smith, Axel, Jensen and Bitters are standing there, with the two dead pirates at their feet.

Palomo: I think that these guys... are gonna need a hospital.

Bitters: Just... no.

"That was the worst joke... of all time."

Smith: (to his team and Dr. Grey) Come on, we need to get everyone out of here.

Dr. Grey: What are you talking about?

Jensen: Didn't you hear? We're evacuating!

Dr. Grey: Excuse me?

Smith: General's orders. We're abandoning Armonia. Warthogs, pelicans, whatever can get us out of the Capital.

Dr. Grey: But... why?

Bitters: Well, the mercs just dropped all of their men right into the city.

Jensen: A city that just so happens to have a very powerful nuclear reactor.

Dr. Grey: ...And, if we blow up the reactor...

Smith: ...We blow up everything Charon has to throw at us.

"No more bad guys!" Axel says with great happiness. 

Cut to the city streets. Two Rebels drive past on mongooses. Another follows on foot, running away from three space pirates.

Space Pirate 1: Haha! That's it! Run!

Space Pirate 3: Anyone got eyes on the targets?

Space Pirate 2: Not yet.

Space Pirate 1: Then let's pick up the pace! I want that kill bonus.

The three run off. The camera pans back to reveal Tucker, Doyle, Doc and the Reds watching them

Tucker: You know, I always wanted to be popular as a kid.

Doyle: (dreamily) As did I.

Donut: Is it just like you imagined?

Doyle: No...

Tucker: Kinda.

Simmons: Alright, we made it to the Armory.

Carolina: (over radio) Good.

Cut to Carolina, Wash and Kimball in the underground maintenance tunnels.

ARMONIA • UNDERGROUND MAINTENANCE TUNNELS

Carolina: (over radio) There should still be a Pelican docked in the garage. Load up as many supplies as you can then get Tucker and Doyle out of the city. We'll take care of the reactor's manual overload.

Washington: Be ready to come pick us up once you're done.

Doyle: (over radio) Are you sure there is no other way? Armonia is our home!

Kimball: We'll build a new one. Right now, you need to focus on staying alive. (radio cuts off)

Washington: We should keep moving.

Carolina: How much farther?

Epsilon: (appears next to Carolina) It's gonna be a while. These tunnels wind all over the place.

Carolina walks forward down the tunnel. Sharkface's leg is seen to her side.

Carolina: Well, at least they keep us off the streets and out of trouble.

Sharkface: I wouldn't be so sure.

Cut to Sharkface facing them. Wash and Kimball rush in and raise their weapons at Sharkface in response.

Sharkface: (raises Hardlight Shield) Uh ah. I don't think so.

Epsilon: I really, really hate this guy.

Washington: We don't have time for this.

Carolina: Don't worry... I'm the one he wants. (to Sharkface) If I stay will you let them go?

Wash and Kimball lower their weapons.

Sharkface: (lowers shield) Huh. Deal. But once you're dead (turns to Wash) I'm coming after you, Washington!

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Washington: (to Carolina) Please kill him.

Kimball: You sure you'll be alright?

Carolina: Yeah. ...I'm sure.

Epsilon disappears. Wash and Kimball run off, leaving Carolina and Sharkface alone. The two stare each other down. Cut to the Armory, where the Blood Gulch Crew arm themselves with weapons.

Sarge: Ammo?

Simmons: (passes by carrying a Battle Rifle) Check!

Sarge: Machine guns?

Caboose: (passes by carrying a machine gun turret) Check!

Sarge: Rocket launchers? (no response) ...Rocket launcheeers?!

Doc: (in O'Malley's voice, carrying a Rocket Launcher) Oh, you better god damn believe it! Mwahahahaha!

Tucker: (walks up next to Sarge) I'm not sitting next to him on the plane.

Simmons: (off screen) Shotgun!

Sarge: Check!

"Explosives?" Sarge asks.

Ash holds up multiple grenades. "HAHAHA! YES!"

Donut enters in from above a walkway.

Donut: Uh guys... remember those bad guys from earlier? Well, they're coming back.

Doyle: (scared) Ohhh dear...

Sarge: Grif, what's the status on our Pelican?

Cut to the garage, where Grif is seen inside the cockpit of the Pelican.

Grif: I don't know! Every time I turn it on it just makes a loud clunking sound.

Sarge: (over radio) I'm gonna clunk you if you don't figure it out!

Grif: God damn it. Where's Lopez when you need him? Wait a minute, where is Lopez?

Simmons:(over radio) Uhh...last I saw him, he was in the garage.

Pounding is heard coming from the back of the Pelican.

Lopez: ¡Pendejo! [Idiot!]

Grif: Oh, shit.

Lopez: ¡Estaba arreglando el motor, vete a la mierda![I was fixing the engine, you fuck!]

Cut to the armory, where Grif quickly walks in.

Grif: Lopez is stuck in the pelican!

Sarge: What?! Get him out of there!

Donut enters from above walkway.

Donut: (panicked) They're coming inside!

Simmons: Quick, everybody hide!

Three space pirates walk through armory entrance.

Space Pirate 1: Listen, all I'm saying is if we grab a warthog we can cover more...

Cut to reveal Caboose standing out in the open looking the other direction, Donut crouched behind a pair of crates on the above walkway with his head sticking out, Sarge standing behind a stack of crates with the left half of his body clearly visible, Doyle and Tucker peeking from behind a corner, Ash is hiding behind a crate and a grenade falls out of his hand and clanks on the ground, Simmons crouched behind a crate with his knee sticking out, and a snowman near the back. Realizing they've been spotted, Simmons stands up.

Simmons: Damn it! We suck at hiding.

Space Pirate 1: Targets in the armory!

A rocket hits the ground and kills all three pirates.

Doc: (in O'Malley's voice) Remove the mechanical man this instant!

Freckles: Hostile forces approaching.

Simmons: Oh, god! They know!

Tucker: Wash, please tell me you guys are done at the reactor.

Doyle: We need backup.

Washington: (over radio) Haven't made it yet. We ran into Sharkface.

Doyle: What?!

Washington: (over radio) Carolina's handling him. What's wrong?

Tucker: Forget it. We'll figure something out.

Tucker turns off radio.

Doyle: Figure something out? Just what exactly do you suggest we do?

Sarge walks up with machine gun turret.

Sarge: We hold this place down until we can get the hell out of here.

Cut to outside the city away from the fighting.

ARMONIA, CAPITAL CITY OF CHORUS, DOWNTOWN

Carolina and Sharkface burst out of the ground and into the air before crashing back down again. They both slowly pick themselves back up.

Epsilon: (voice only) Keep it together. You got this, C.

Sharkface: You can beat me down as many times as you want, (cracks neck) but you're just putting off the inevitable. So c'mon. What are you waiting for? Still trying to figure out how to beat me? Are you just too scared?

Carolina: (off screen) I'm sorry.

Sharkface: (surprised) What...?

Carolina: I'm sorry for what we did to you... to your friends. You were on one side of the fight, and we were on the other. We thought we were the good guys. I'm sorry.

Sharkface: I don't... care if you're sorry. Sorry doesn't change what you did. Sorry doesn't bring them back!

Carolina: I know, but I'm offering you a choice. I don't want to fight you. Turn back now and you can walk away from this... alive.

Sharkface: (prepares to fight) Something's gotten into you... (extends his flamethrowers.) And I'm gonna rip it out!

Sharkface lunges at Carolina.

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