Chapter 255: The Mother of Destruction

The episode opens up on an overhead view of a snowy tundra.

Dylan: (offscreen) What's that? Y—you're breaking up!

The camera then cuts to a shot of DYLAN walking through the area. She is talking to CARLOS over the radio.

Carlos: Don't you try that bad signal crap with me, Andrews! I spent a fortune on this slipstream so you could hear me loud and clear! Show's over: time to come home.

Dylan: I'm onto something: something big.

Carlos: You're not onto something: you're on something. AI Fragments? Time travel? A talking bomb?!

Dylan: There's something else. I’ve been digging around the remains of Project Freelancer, and I—

Carlos: And how in God's name did you manage that?!

Dylan: Well, I’ve been doing it—

The camera cuts to show that DYLAN is looking at the wreck of the Mother of Invention, revealing she is on Sidewinder.

Dylan: —literally. And I pieced together a complete record of their personnel files. I got real names for all the super soldiers!

Beat.

Carlos: Okay, how many have you interviewed?

Dylan: None. Get this: I checked the names against the UNSC crime database, and every single former agent is either dead or missing. Most of the disappearances happened after the Reds and Blues started their crime spree! They have to be related!

Carlos: It ain’t enough! It's actually nothing! You've been gone for weeks! Show me something that the people can look at with their eyeballs!

Dylan: You'll have visuals when I finish tracking down the Reds and Blues!

Carlos: OH, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nooo, Dylan! I'm putting an end to this nonsense right now. You get back to the office pronto, or you're out of a job. Period. Kapisch? End of story.

DYLAN meets up with JAX inside the Mother of Invention, next to a computer console.

Jax: Oh, hey! How's Uncle Carlos? He seemed kinda peeved...

Dylan: Yeah, he's peeved. Next time he calls you please, just, let it go to voicemail. Don't transfer to me. Okay?

Jax: Eh, I hate to kill my babies, but, okay.

DYLAN does a double-take.

Dylan: What?

Jax: My voicemail box is at capacity with all my spec scripts. I'll have to delete some to make room, but, I get it: filmmaking is all about killing your babies.

Dylan: Stop saying that. The expression is that “you have to kill your darlings,” not your babies.

Jax: Oh, I mean I have to delete all my ideas about babies. My horror spec, Rabies Babies; my time travel comedy, Three Men and a Baby Hitler; my Look Who’s Talking reboot about Helen Kel—

Dylan: Enough! Goddammit, Jax! I can't even hear myself think in this blizzard of idioacy! Go take a hike!

Jax: But I just wanna help!

Dylan: You wanna help? Here's how you can help: I need you to climb up that really tall mountain. Right now. All the way up to the tippy-top, which is coincidentally really far from me.

Jax: Oh, but how does that help?

Dylan: Because I need you to shoot establishing shots. Wide shots that we can use to set up the location at the beginning of our story.

Jax: Oh, I don't know. That's usually grunt work for the second unit, I'll have to check with my union rep...

Dylan: Quit stalling! Get!

Jax: It looks...dangerous.

A threatening screech echoes nearby.

Jax: Isn't this what CGI is for?

Dylan: (slyly) CGI? Is that what...Hitchcock would say? Or Carpenter?

A threatening thump and a dramatic close-up of DYLAN’s face.

Dylan: Or Herzog?

Jax: Alright, alright, alright! Let's leave the old gods out of this. I'll do it.

JAX reluctantly starts walking towards the canyon.

Dylan: (mocking) Better make it a timelapse!

Cut to JAX walking through the snow, giving his Academy Award speech to no one in particular.

Jax: Oh yeah, Mom, I haven't forgotten about you. And Carlos, you sly bastard—best agent in the business, ladies and gentlemen. And of course I have to thank the Acade—my?

Jax steps on something and he looks down to see a M6G Magnum. It's damaged and worn.

"Wow, cool." Jax says. "I wonder if any of the freelancers owned this?" Jax looks up and notices a Pelican nearby, guarded by some soldiers.

Jax: Hello there...

He runs over and hides behind a rock to observe. Looking closer, he realizes that it’s the Reds and Blues.

Jax: Holy crap, they're here!

He stands up and turns on his radio.

Jax: Dylan! D—Jax to Dylan, this is Dyl—no, Jax, over!

Instead of a response, JAX gets a dial tone.

Computerized voice: WE ARE SORRY. THE PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH HAS DISABLED COMMUNICATION. PLEASE TRY AGAIN AT A LATER TIME.

Jax: Crap! What do I do? Think!

"Simmons": Hey, somebody over there?!

Jax: Crap!

DYLAN is back at the Mother of Invention, still looking at the console, as JAX comes running and threatening music starts playing.

Jax: Ms. Andrews! You turned off your radio!

Dylan: (annoyed) My AI Assistant needed the channel. I got something.

Jax: Ooh, I got something, too! Let me go first!

Dylan: Not now: this is about the Reds and Blues.

Jax: Yes it is! So is mine!

Dylan: Can it, Jax!

SARGE approaches from a balcony in the background. JAX notices him.

Dylan: Whatever it is, I promise it's not as important as me looking at this computer screen.

Jax: I have to point out this type of scene is very cliché: I talk, you ignore, and meanwhile...

He sees LOPEZ and TUCKER are on another balcony, aiming their weapons at them.

Jax: ...we become surrounded.

The tempo of the music increases. DYLAN’s screen is displaying data.

Dylan: This is what I'm after! It's about the Reds and Blues!

Jax: Is it about how they've surrounded us?

Dylan: Damn! It's not them!

SIMMONS appears next to TUCKER, ASH, and LOPEZ. The music becomes even more threatening.

Dylan: These are just dumb requests from the Gulch prototype for more toilet paper! Another dead end!

Jax: Say, “We got company.”

Dylan: (finally turning to look at him) What?

Jax: Say, “We got company!” Hurry!

Dylan: Why?

Music stops.

Jax: ‘cause that's how action scenes start!

JAX pushes DYLAN out of the way just as SIMMONS opens fire, with a single bullet just barely missing them. Soon the rest of the Reds and Blues are firing.

Dylan: Get cover!

They quickly take cover behind a wall as the Reds and Blues continue firing.

Dylan: It's the Reds and Blues! They're here!

Jax: I know! I’ve been trying to tell you! I saw them land!

Dylan: Did you shoot them?

Jax: Hell no! I abhor violence! Except in my movies, TV shows, books, video games, graphic novels—

Dylan: Did you shoot them with your cameras?!

Jax: (utterly sincere) Oh, no. The light was terrible.

Dylan: The light? You imbecile, we need footage!

Jax: Well, Herzog wouldn't have shot it either, okay?

Dylan: SHUT. UP. START. ROLLING.

Jax: Speed!

As DYLAN gives him instructions, JAX’s camera starts shaking around erratically.

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Dylan: We can flee for our lives after we get the shot! I'm gonna draw their—what's wrong with your head? Are you hit?

JAX is literally shaking his head around.

Jax: Shakey cam! You know, for action scenes! Makes it look authentic!

Dylan: We are ACTUALLY getting shot at!

Jax: You're right, that technique is way played out.

Dylan: I'm gonna draw their fire, you try and get a good look at the shooters. Ready?

DYLAN makes a break for it. The Reds and Blues notice and turn their fire towards her as she races through a clearing before taking cover, seeing JAX up on a nearby ledge.

Dylan: Did you get them?

Jax: No! I tried to snap zoom, but I missed my focus!

Dylan: (incredulous) You're going to get us killed!

Jax: Well I could say the same to you!

All of a sudden, the gunfire stops. JAX notices.

DYLAN gets out from her cover to see that the Reds and Blues are gone.

Dylan: They're falling back.

Jax: But why? Uh, we’re defenseless.

The reason is quickly revealed: a thunderstorm is approaching fast.

Jax: Whoa, what is that?

Dylan: Thundersnow.

Jax: Great name for a movie.

Dylan: This entire valley is about to get a whole lot colder.

Jax: I think I'm ready to get back to the ship now...

Dylan: Not before we talk to them...come on!

DYLAN runs off. Beat.

Jax: Oh, you're not being serious...

DYLAN and JAX walk through the snow towards the Pelican.

Jax: Let's make a deal! Whichever one of us passes out gets stuffed in a tauntaun—!

Dylan: Can it! This way!

They approach the Pelican, just as SARGE is entering. He stops when he hears DYLAN.

Dylan: Dylan Andrews, Interstellar Daily. Would any of you care to comment on the string of attacks you're all being held responsible for? Supposedly on behalf of Chorus?

The camera zooms in on the Reds and Blues. "Sarge" speaks, although his voice clearly doesn't resemble that of Sarge.

"Sarge": NO!

He aims his gun at them.

'Ash' looks to 'Sarge.' "Let's just kill them." 'Ash' says. Though his voice sounds slightly more gruff then Ash's.

Jax: Shit just got real.

Dylan: (quietly) That’s not them... (louder) That's not them.

FOTUS Soldier: Lavernius Tucker...

DYLAN, JAX, and the apparently Impostor Reds and Blues turn, startled. Standing nearby, armed and ready, is the FOTUS SOLDIER, who was watching DYLAN and JAX in the previous episode. Rumbling is heard in the distance, followed by multiple lightning strikes behind him in the background.

Dylan: What... is this?

Jax: Looks like our company's got company!

FOTUS Soldier: Are you Lavernius Tucker?

"Tucker": STOP FOLLOWING ME, ASSHOLE!

He fires his sniper rifle, forcing DYLAN and JAX to duck. The rest of the Impostor Reds and Blues open fire, their bullets whizzing overhead of the reporters towards the FOTUS SOLDIER.

Jax: Who the hell is that?!

Dylan: I have no idea!

Jax: So we should get back to the ship?

Dylan: This way!

DYLAN and JAX make a run for a nearby cave, away from the gunfire. However, they soon reach a dead end—a cliff edge.

Jax: Oh, that's just great! Game over, man! Game over!

FOTUS Soldier: (offscreen) Your attackers have fled.

DYLAN and JAX turn to see the FOTUS SOLDIER has followed them.

FOTUS Soldier: It is now safe for you to return to your ship.

Dylan: Who are you?

FOTUS Soldier: I... am no one. Not to you. I am only someone to those I seek... and those I serve.

Dylan: Who do you seek...?

FOTUS Soldier: Lavernius Tucker, of the Reds and Blues.

Dylan: That wasn't them.

Beat.

FOTUS Soldier: ...How do you know?

Dylan: Their weapons were all wrong, for starters: Sarge always uses a shotgun, not whatever that was; and Ash always used a DMR or an alien weapon with a katana; and Tucker's never held a sniper rifle in any records I’ve found. And his voice...

FOTUS Soldier: (pondering this) The search continues...

Dylan: What do you want with them?

FOTUS Soldier: ...I seek to serve.

He turns to leave.

Dylan: Who do you... serve...?

FOTUS Soldier: Whoever I am told.

Dylan: Tell us your name!

FOTUS Soldier: ...goodbye.

He exits.

Jax: Weird name. “Hello, Goodbye.” “You’re leaving?” “Why no, Goodbye. I just got here!” Why haven't you told me to zip it—?

Dylan: Zip it. This changes everything. Kaikaina was right. Those aren’t the real Reds and Blues. Someone's been impersonating them. But why? And who?

Jax: I bet it's clones! Or... evil robot versions. Or... a transporter mishap?

Dylan: That means they're not attacking the UNSC for Chorus. They have some other agenda entirely. Oh, this is too good...!

Jax: So uh... where we goin’ next, boss?

Dylan: “We”?

Jax: Uh, yeah, “we.” Partner. “We.”

Dylan: You missed a critical shot up there. In my book, that's unforgivable.

Jax: But I did push you out of the way of a bullet.

Dylan: ...I have to concede that is technically true.

Jax: Even stevens?

Dylan: ...let’s see how Chorus goes.

Jax: Chorus? What's Chorus?

Cut to a shot of DYLAN’S ship coming out of slipspace.

Dylan: The last stop on our tour: the planet of Chorus.

The ship approaches the planet, which is surrounded by a fleet of ships. JAX looks at them from the cockpit window.

Jax: Whoa... Chorus sure has a lot of spaceships.

Dylan: Those don't belong to Chorus... that's the UNSC First Fleet.

Beat.

Dylan: It's a blockade.

One final shot of the planet, with all the UNSC ships pointed at it, as DYLAN’s ship flies past them towards the surface.

Jax: Yeah, they don't look too friendly.

Dylan: No, they don't...

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07-29-2022

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