Chapter 288: A Time For Hammers

The episode begins with a black screen, small ball of light can be seen in the distance

ATLUS: Without time, there is no beginning. So there was nothing before "the word".

The Reds and Blues can all be heard groaning

Scene cuts back to starseeds with the Cosmic Powers and Reds and Blues facing each other.

ATLUS: What?

SISTER: "In the beginning was the word?" If you bring out a guitar, I'm done.

ATLUS: The word became complicated, expanded, unfolded and birthed the first of the primal forces of our father, Chrovos. He who could control time.

GRIF: [Groan] Do we really need all of this?

ATLUS: Chrovos set himself on a great undertaking, a project of galactic proportions. He created the Cosmic Powers and enslaved us to do his bidding.

SIMMONS: What project could possibly be so big?

ATLUS: Some things are beyond even our infinite wisdom. We only know our small part in the grand design.

CAROLINA: So, Where are the titans now?

ATLUS: We rebelled against our masters, many were lost but the titans were deposed. Killed, banished or imprisoned.

"Man that sucks." Ash says. "I wonder if they're prison has a TV?"

BURNSTORM: I constructed a labyrinth inside this black hole. At its core sits a prison: a treadmill.

GENKINS: I convinced Chrovos to give it a spin, he got stuck!

GRIF: Whoa whoa, he's walking forwards forever, but in one spot?

ATLUS: Exactly.

GRIF: Alright Satan.

SARGE: Alright let me get this straight, you dirty so-and-so's are responsible for upsetting the balance of power in the entire universe?

ATLUS: Yes but Chrovos was....

SARGE: [Interrupting Atlus] I'm not talking about that! Why's Grif got a sword?

GRIF: Because I'm so [Activates sword] cleaver!

SARGE: Give me one

KALIRAMA: [Audibly annoyed] Here we go again.

ATLUS: [sighs] Who else wants one?

All the Reds and Blues except Tucker, Grif, Caboose and Carolina can all be heard chanting. Washington, Sister, Sarge, Ash, Simmons, Lopez and Donut are all granted swords resembling Grif's except for Donut who's sword is dark green.

LOPEZ: Gracias. (Thank You)

"Why did you want a sword?" Simmons asks as he turns to Ash. "You already have one."

"But it's not every day you get to have a cool energy sword." Ash says as he swings hiss word and he turns to Grif. "And I know who to test it on."

Grif whimpers.

CAROLINA: I'm actually proud of you, Caboose.

CABOOSE: [Looks at Genkins who is carrying his Golf Club] I want that Golf Club.

GENKINS: [Panicked] No! No! No!

ATLUS: Fine.

Caboose is given Genkins' Golf Club

CABOOSE: Glad to join the ball game.

SISTER: Club, Caboose. You should've said club.

CABOOSE: I prefer BLT but any of those are good, you know sandwiches.

WASHINGTON: Can I make a request? [Steps forward towards Atlus] I'm putting a brave face on but I have a suicide headache, can you fix that?

ATLUS: We can summon up some advil? Something stronger?

WASHINGTON: Or... some of that god magic?

ATLUS: Ok ok. [Groans] We were created in part to alter the minds of younger races but never directly. Our powers can only be used on the outside, as external forces. It is a limitation brought upon us by our maker and one of the many reasons we saw fit to end his reign.

WASHINGTON: In that case, Advil is fine.

ATLUS: [Clears throat] Anywho...

SIMMONS: No wait! That's it. I finally know what you are!

ATLUS: Ok, but I already said "anywho."

SIMMONS: All this time I've been hung up on Religion, on Aliens, but you "Gods," you are actually something else.

KALIRAMA: We are what we say we are.

SIMMONS: Chrovos created you to help him, he programmed you to pose as gods to manipulate younger races. It's theatrics, your appearance, some sort of subjected holo-projected matrix.

ATLUS: [Audibly flustered] Whoa, de-definitely not! You are, like, way off there.

SIMMONS: This firewall against Chrovos, a safety he built to keep his AI's in check.

WASHINGTON: These are AI's?

Xi flashes onto Ash's shoulder, she glitches a few times. "I-I-I-I see it n-n-now."

KALIRAMA: Huggins, Muggins. Leave.

Huggins and Muggins can be heard flying away

KALIRAMA: They have earned it.

ATLUS: Very well.

KALIRAMA: We have no choice but to trust you with this secret.

The camera does a sweeping shot behind Sister, as it passes her back it blocks the view of the Cosmic Powers. When the camera passes and the Cosmic Powers are visible again, their appearance is different and is now the form of Monitors, Each Identical except in eye colour. Atlus' eye is yellow, Kalirama's is purple, Genkins' is Green, Burnstorm's is Orange. The camera continues to sweep across the Monitor form of the Cosmic Powers as they continue speaking.

ATLUS: No mystery, no magic. Just a mathematical palindrome filled with radiation and sadness.

As the camera continues to sweep, it passes Tucker's back once again blocking the view of the Cosmic Powers. When they are visible again, they have all reverted back to their previous appearance. Once they are all back into view, the camera reverts back to the usual shot-reverse shot angles for the continuing conversation.

GENKINS: Hey kids, I'm a computer!

ATLUS: Now that you know the truth, may we proceed?

SIMMONS: Oh, of course.

GRIF: Nice job buddy.

SIMMONS: Science is good for something after all!

"Science is good for everything!" Ash says to Simmons in an annoyed tone. Xi flashes away.

ATLUS: In the present, Chrovos is weak but not powerless. Through dreams and inspiration he influenced a human to build a machine, a time machine. This leak in time for a moment made him powerful enough to grasp at one of you.

DONUT: Me. But, but that was an accident.

ATLUS: There are no accidents when it comes to Chrovos. He chose you.

GRIF: [Glancing at Donut] I'monna guess its because you're so gullible.

TUCKER: Or stupid.

"Or an incompetent solider." Ash says.

SARGE: Basically an empty suit of Armour with a half-decent throwing arm.

ATLUS: He sucks the dumb pink monkey back in time to an era where he is most powerful and returned you with more machines.

TUCKER: Where we done fucked it all up.

ATLUS: Yes.

CAROLINA: What can we do to repair time?

KALIRAMA: It's too late. The damage is done.

ATLUS: You have already done his bidding.

CABOOSE: I prefer buy it now.

GRIF: We've been fucking time itself.

TUCKER: And tick goes the bucket list.

GRIF: Dude, do you ever stop? We've been pulling out the building blocks of time one by one, now it could topple over. Do you know what that means?

SARGE: Time is Jenga.

You are reading story The Weapons Guy at novel35.com

"And I probably pulled out a big piece." Ash mumbles.

BURNSTORM: There is hope still. I, Burnstorm, master builder of the gods...

SIMMONS: Uh, A.I.

BURNSTORM [Whispering] of AI, ok. [Normal voice] ...bound Chrovos once. We can not trick him twice. But we can help you. You unwilling agents of Chrovos can affect him directly, and we are at your mercy.

KALIRAMA: Naturally, you have a choice, and we will not lie to you. The Path ahead is dangerous. To stop Chrovos you must travel to his Labyrinth, you must fight the beasts who guard him, defeat the ghosts of history and demons of his underworld. Few have made the Journey, none have survived.

WASHINGTON: [somewhat sarcastically] When you put it like that, how could we say no?

"We've survived worse." Ash states.

KALIRAMA: When you complete the impossible journey, you will meet Chrovos. You need only use this.

A Hammer resembling that of a Gravity Hammer appears in the center of the room and floats there. It has a orange head and what staff.

"I want it." Ash says in awe.

KALIRAMA: Burnstorm constructed the prison that holds Chrovos and from that same material forged...

BURNSTORM: ...The Hammer.

SARGE: [Disappointed] Aw, "The Hammer?"

BURNSTORM: The Hammer, yes.

SARGE: But not like "The Grand Hammer of Power Kaboom-ness?"

SIMMONS: +5 Enchanted Hammer of Binding.

TUCKER: Ass-Tapper.

"The Hammer of Dawn?" Ash suggests.

WASHINGTON: Sister Sledge. James Blunt.

LOPEZ: [In Spanish] Sinaloa Lie Detector.

DONUT: Hammer-Barbera!

WASHINGTON: Slam Rockwell!

BURNSTORM: Stop.

SISTER: Tchaikovsky's The Butt-Cracker.

CABOOSE: Mister Smashyface. Mister Smashyface's friend, Whackman. Mrs. Whackman!

ATLUS: Ooh. Valleymaker!

BURNSTORM: No!

ATLUS: Thunderclap! This is fun.

BURNSTORM: No! It's The Hammer. The most important hammer that has ever existed, it's definitive. The Hammer!

REDS AND BLUES AND ATLUS: Oh.

ATLUS: You should call it that.

KALIRAMA: By striking Chrovos' prison with the hammer, you reinforce his binding, energising them, topping up their mystic power. Counter-intuitive, but that's magic for you.

ATLUS: We will leave you alone with The Hammer as you make your decision, and uh, before you go...

All the Reds and Blues swords, except for Tucker and Grif's, as well as Caboose's Club, disappear. Everyone who lost their sword groans.

"I was enjoying that sword." Ash mumbles.

ATLUS: You can have your toys back after you save the universe. [To Caboose] You can keep yours because it's funny.

The Reds and Blues are then warped to a private room on starseeds. They all yell in shock. Simmons vomits inside his helmet.

SIMMONS: Oh God, its in my helmet!

Ash groans. "I think I'm gonna hurl."

SISTER: I guess this is to give us some privacy?

CAROLINA: SO, what do we think?

SARGE: [Laughing] I agree! Powerful name.

CAROLINA: The fight?

SIMMONS: Can't we just go back and stop ourselves from time travelling in the first place?

CAROLINA: Didn't Jax say that's a paradox?

TUCKER: Can we go back and stop Jax from saying that?

WASHINGTON: You're in denial. Guys, the Reds and Blues did their best.

SARGE: Reds especially.

"Suck it blues!" Ash yells.

WASHINGTON: And its only by doing our best, our absolute best and failing that we can ever truly know exactly how much we suck.

SARGE: Uh...

WASHINGTON: You messed up, We all have regrets. Lost friends we'd like to have around...

Caboose's head is seen dropping down

WASHINGTON: ...Things we'd take back...

Tucker is seen glancing at Sister

"Meet a lost family member." Wash says.

Ash looks off to the side.

WASHINGTON: ...But these time guns can't fix us. You use them to relieve guilt, right wrongs, to avoid responsibility. But the past is done. Do better now, be better now. Now is the only time that's every mattered. Ask yourself, do I make bad decisions?

Carolina's head turns away from wash and drops down slightly.

WASHINGTON: How can I do better?

Camera pans to Sarge

WASHINGTON: Who do I want to be?

Camera pans to Grif and Ash

TUCKER: Wash, it's selfish not to time travel. Are you saying you wouldn't go back and stop yourself from hurting people?

WASHINGTON: Mistakes are the dirt we grow from Tucker. In the end, you can't argue with cause and effect. You made a mess, you need to clean it up.

GRIF: ...Yeah, that's the right thing to do.

"He's right." Ash mumbles to himself and Xi flashes onto his shoulder and looks at him for a few seconds before flashing away.

SARGE: Well hell, the whole reason I joined the military was to win a battle against God himself!

SIMMONS: Yeah!

CABOOSE: Let's take a swing at it!

GRIF: He did it, good form!

WASHINGTON: And you're not alone, this ain't my mess but I'm in to help fix it. No matter where it takes us, you can count on me to fight alongside you.

CAROLINA: No... You're not coming. Everything you just said... I should've told you Wash, I can't believe I let it get this far I-

WASHINGTON: Whoa, slow down. It's alright

CAROLINA: It's not. It's really, really not. You can't come, you can't fight.

WASHINGTON: Carolina, it's... me you're talking to.

CAROLINA: Stop being so fucking nice! You're sitting this one out, Wash. I mean it. You're on the DL.

WASHINGTON: [Yelling] I'm not DISABLED!

CAROLINA: [Yelling] You are! ...You were really hurt.

WASHINGTON: Yeah...

CAROLINA: Really hurt... More than I told you... Your gaps in memory, they're... I mean... the frustration you've been feeling. Wash, I've had to watch you struggle with it. I should've said-

WASHINGTON: [somewhat harshly] Carolina... spit it out.

CAROLINA: [Sighs] Your injury caused what is known as... Cerebral Hypoxia. We don't know the extent of the damage but when you were shot in the neck, your brain was starved of oxygen.

WASHINGTON: (beat) ...For how long?

CAROLINA: A while.

WASHINGTON: How. Long?

CAROLINA: Several minutes. Your brain went, minutes without oxygen.