Chapter 37: You’re the Bomb, Yo

"OKay, we traced the bomb activation signal to Sidewinder." Simmons says.

Ash laugh. "I can't wait to see big boom!"

"How time do we have left, Sarge?" Simmons asks.

Donut's voice comes through the teleporter. "Everyone here is set to transport."

Then Tucker's voice comes through the teleporter. "I'm not going through the thing. I'm serious."

"We need to get there as soon as possible." Sarge says. "Did you set their teleporter to take them straight to Sidewinder?"

"I walked Donut through it." Simmons starts. "He says he did everything right, but I figured they have a fifty-fitly chance of ending up in sidewinder, or in the middle of deep space."

"But what about us?" Sarge asks.

"I programmed ours myself. We're fine."

"I find the risks acceptable."

"I never knew a Philip screwdriver was the X one." Donut says. "Do you think it's named after a guy named Philip? That guy Philip must have a fucked-up shaped head!"

"Hmmm." Ash hums.

"Yeah. screw this, I'm walking." Tucker says.

Sarge pulls out his shotgun. "All right then, saddle up!"

Sarge continues. "Don't worry, Grif and Church! Here comes the cavalry! YAAAAAAGH!"

Sarge runs forward into the teleporter and comes out behind the group.

"Oh?" Sarge says.

"Uh, sir." Simmons begins. "The teleporter I reprogrammed is over there." Simmons motions to his left.

"Oh, well." Sarge says. "Heads up, evildoers! Here we come to save the-- Aw, forget it, let's just go."

Over in Blood Gulch

"Good luck, everyone." Shelia tells the group. "Take care! I packed you all lunches for the trip."

"Thanks Sheila!" Tucker says. "That was really nice of you."

"Not really." Donut says as he turns to Tucker. "All my bag had was an air filter and a thermos full of brake fluid."

"Make sure to wash your exhaust pipes everyday." Shelia tells them.

Tex walks over to the teleporter and heads through.

"Bye Sheila!" Tucker says. "We'll come back for you soon!"

Donut and Tucker go over to the teleporter.

"I'll be waiting!"

Tucker and Donut head through the teleporter.

Over in Sidewinder

Simmons turns to Sarge. "Okay, here they come."

Tex pops out of the teleporter and looks around. She spot Ash and looks at him for a few seconds before running our of the building.

Then Donut comes through. "Yeah! I knew I could fix a teleporter. I guess these hands aren't just for manicuring after all! Yeaah!"

Ash turns to Simmons. "I'm surprised he didn't mess up."

Tucker comes through.

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"OW! CRAP!" Tucker yells.

"What's all that black stuff on your armor?" Simmons asks.

Tucker looks at Donut. "Just me? What the fuck?"

"Tucker! I am so glad to see you!" Caboose says. "Here, let me help you clean your armor off." Tucker heads out of the building. "By rubbing you all over." He follows after Tucker.

"Oooh! Let me help!" Donut says as he follows after them.

"Absolutely! Admiral Butter-crust!"

"I want to see this." Ash says as he follows after them.

Simmons turns to Sarge. "So what's the plan, Sarge?"

"First, we need to locate Church and get that bomb defused." Sarge says. "Then we can find Lopez, download our plans and get back to fighting the blues."

"And find Grif?" Simmons asks.

"What?"

"And we also need to find Grif." Simmons starts. "Right, sir?"

"Well, not every plan is perfect. So I suppose we could accidentally find Grif along the way."

Outside

Tucker's armor is now clean. 

"There..." Caboose starts. "You are all clean."

"Thanks, but you didn't need to spend so much time on the codpiece, Donut." Tucker says.

"A three-coat waxing is just my way of saying I care." Donut says.

Ash turns to him. "What the fuck."

Over on a cliff across from the four

Wyoming is aiming a sniper at Tucker. "Well... There we are mate." he then aims towards Ash. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Hello, Wyoming." Tex says. "Why don't you stop pointing that gun at my friend?"

Wyoming lowers his sniper. "Allison! Good to see you!" He turns around. "How come you never told me that our dear friend, Minne, is still alive?" Tex stay silent. "You knew the entire time, I bet. I wonder how the other's will rest if they find out he's alive?"

"Tell, me where's Omega?"

"Why would you ask me?" Wyoming Asks.

"He hired you, didn't he?" Tex asks.

"Now, how did you know that?"

"When someone lives in your head for a few years, you get to know him." Tex says. "Where is he?"

"Oh, he'll be along shortly."

O'Malley cocks a shotgun behind Tex.

"Very shortly." Wyoming says.

"Awh crap." Tex says.

O'Malley laughs.

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