"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Luc barked.
I had escorted her back to her room. These days I had a lot going on in my mind, and now I had to deal with this guy.
"Stop shouting," I grumbled and rubbed my forehead.
"You think no one can see what you're doing," he said angrily.
"What are you talking about? Say clearly," I said. "You're giving me a headache."
"Headache?" Luc repeated bitterly. "Do you think your body and head will still be connected if Demetrius finds out about this? I still don't understand... Go and look for your own mate, Ezekiel, when you still have time."
"Mind your own business."
"Wow! You're not even denying it?!" Luc said. "You still have time. Don't fall for the wrong person."
'How funny! I have already fallen...'
"You know you're doing wrong, right? First of all, she is a married woman. And besides, she is happy with her husband. Why are you trying so hard to get her when you know she is head over heels for her husband? And Demetrius cares for her so much that killing a hundred people for her won't be a problem for him," he said. "Quit whatever you're doing. Can't you understand that it is clear how you feel about her? It's clear in your eyes and just quite the way you're trying to make her feel disgusted towards her husband. It's not working. She loves him. So, just give up if you want to save your head."
"Is that what you want to tell me?" I asked tiredly.
"... It's hopeless."
"I know," I chuckled. "Perhaps I am a crazy bastard."
"I don't have anything more to say. I just know how it's gonna end. Don't tell me I never warned you," Luc said. "If you still want to keep doing whatever you are doing, just go ahead. Messing with Demetrius is never a good idea. But since you've chosen this road, no one can do anything about it, can they?"
After talking to Luc, I returned to my room. I knew I was being an idiot. But I could not get her out of my head.
It was not just Luc, who was wondering why. I was thinking the same thing. Just why did it have to be her and no one else? To be honest, there was nothing special about her. She was a beautiful woman, but not the most beautiful though she still stood out. Perhaps it was because of her eyes.
Those blue eyes of hers were truly magnificent. Her eyes had an icy feeling in them and that must be the reason, whenever she looked at me, it seemed like my heart was freezing up from the inside.
She was not even good at anything, particularly that would make her look special. Then why did I even feel that way towards her?
It must be when I saw her for the first time. She was not behaving high like all other nobles, rather she was talking like a normal person. She was a human after all and was not used to all this. I thought she would change after a while when she would become the queen.
But she remained the same. She was still the same simple woman as before. That was when I started to feel strange around her. The way she smiled made me lose my mind. I wanted to protect that smile no matter what.
King Demetrius might be a good king and knew what he was doing, but he still was not the perfect man. He was rude, but that was not the problem. The way he brought her here, I did not like it at all. He literally forced her to marry him and she could not even escape him.
That was the time I started to hate him for real. It was to the point I had to force myself to stand him. How could he do that to a woman like her? Did he want to possess her only? Did he love her in the first place or was it just his obsession?
If I was right, he would even tie her up if he had to. And she even liked being with him and she was calling it 'love'. I did not think that was the case. I knew about her past. It was supposed to be a secret, but I heard it from her in her sleep.
She was not treated nicely at all in her family. Her father and brother even used to hit her. I could not believe how someone could hit someone like her. The king brought her from her family somehow, but I did not know how since she did not tell me about it.
He might have shown her kindness, but I was sure he did not actually care about her feelings. He just wanted her to be with him and it did not matter to him if she wanted it or not.
She was surely mistaking this slight gratitude as love. She had no idea what she was feeling. I was trying to tell her again and again, but she did not understand.
I even followed her that night when she was talking with the king's mother and heard everything they were talking about. It was not good of me to do so. But I could not stop myself. I wanted to know what she was feeling, how she was. To be honest, I wanted to know everything about her and that was also not for any particular reason.
When she returned, I could not help but sneak into her room. It was not a good thing to do as well to sneak inside a woman's room in the middle of the night, especially when the woman was married. But I could not stop myself and before I knew it, I was already in her room.
The room smelled like her. I felt relaxed. Her sleeping face was beautiful and pure as if she was an angel. I could not help but observe. That was when suddenly she started crying in her sleep and was trembling.
I tried to wake her up. I knew it would be bad if I got caught in her room. But I could not just let her be like that. I had to wake her up. I shook her and called her, but she was not waking up. It was like she was having a nightmare.
I called her again and again, but it did not help. Just when I called her name, she woke up, or at least, that was what I thought. She thought it was a dream. She did not even open her eyes or recognize me. I took the opportunity and talked to her. When I could not convince her in her consciousness, I tried to convince her in her sleep.
But she was adamant. She kept saying that she accepted the king no matter what. Just what did I need to do so you would give up on him and leave him? Would it be then when I would stand a chance?
She did not even take any concubines, neither did the king. The king only had eyes for her, but it was not love. It must not be love. It was a pure obsession. And she was a loyal wife. That was why she did not look at any other man other than her husband. It was a good thing. But I still did not like it.
For two nights, I went to her room and I was planning to go there again tonight. Despite knowing that it would be bad if I got caught, I could still not make myself stop. I wanted to hear her talk about her. She was even smiling when she was talking. She even said that she liked talking to that person, though she thought it was a dream. It was alright. Even if she thought it was a dream, she liked it, right? It was enough. I just wanted her to feel good and I liked to hear her voice as well.
Perhaps because she was so simple, I could not help but fall for her knowing that she had a husband who was also the king.
I should see her as the queen. But I could not. I only saw her as a woman. I wanted to respect her, but not as a queen. I wanted to respect her as a woman and see her like that. Perhaps that was the reason I did not like calling her 'Her Highness'. I preferred her name.
Blue- what an odd name! She definitely was named that because of her eye color. It was a simple and strange name, but it felt special for some reason.
'Even if I can't have you, can't I still try? What if you change your mind? What if you don't like him anymore? Then I will have a chance, won't I? At least, until you say that you hate it, I will keep chasing. Perhaps I really am an idiot....'