Chapter 43: We Need To Talk

(From Demetrius's Perspective)

There was not much work to do, but I still spent most of the time in my study. Being around my wife and not being able to do anything was harder than I expected. It had been a month, but she did not make any move. 

Did she hate to be with me? It was true I kind of forced her to come with me, but I thought she would be happy. There was nothing I would not give her. She could have money, food, or whatever she wanted and no one would hurt her as well. And I was not bad-looking that she would hate to look at me. But then what was wrong? Was I too bad that night? 

I was inexperienced at this, but I thought I did it properly. She had looked like she was enjoying it, more like she was getting crazy in pleasure, or at least I thought so. Perhaps I was wrong. It was not the case at all. Perhaps she had hated it a lot that she could not think of getting intimate with me. 

We would tease each other and talk a lot, but nothing more than that. It was more like a bit more than friendship. 

'Damn it! What am I thinking? Have I lost my mind now? How can a husband and a wife be friends? Yes, they can be friends, but not like this. Friendship is important, but between a married couple, there are more things than that.'

I would just wait a few more days. If she did not do anything by then, I would ask her directly. The full moon was coming as well. It would be like death if I wanted to keep myself away from her. 

I had dinner in my study tonight. I had sent a letter to her saying I had a lot of work. It was a lie. I did that so I could keep my mind calm. I felt bad for lying to her, but there was no other choice. I needed to keep myself away from her so she could think about her feelings. Or she might confuse physical connection to her feelings. 

It was one at night. She must have fallen asleep. I had told her to go to sleep as I would be late. 

I made my way to our room. I could not suggest using separate rooms. It would be too weird if I said that. She might even get hurt. 

The room was dark as I pushed the door open. It felt colder than usual. Was it because the curtains were up? 

I took extra care not to make any sound. She was sleeping peacefully. I could not believe I was having strange thoughts again just by looking at her. After taking a shower, I came back only to find her sitting on the bed amidst the darkness. 

"Weren't you sleeping? Did I wake you up?" I asked. 

"N-No," she mumbled. "We need to talk."

"... Alright. Let me turn the candles..."

"No...," she said quickly. "I want to talk to you like this."

Even though I did not want to, I went to the bed and sat in front of her. Being near her was painful. But if she wanted to talk about something, I needed to be near her so she would not feel abandoned. 

"What do you want to talk about, my wife?"

"Am I disgusting?" she asked bluntly. 

"... What? What're you saying? Who said that? Who dared? Just tell me their name. I will kill them and their entire family..."

"No one said that to me!"

"You don't have to be afraid of anyone. You're the queen. Who will dare?"

"It's not like that! I mean, was I that bad?"

"I don't understand what you're talking about, my wife."

"I... I mean, do you regret marrying me?"

What was she talking about? Did I treat her so bad that she got this kind of idea all of a sudden?

"I know I'm just a human. I am weak too. I don't know much about this world. And I'm useless too. You know, I didn't want this life. It was you who brought me here. I thought everything would be okay. But... I... you gave me a lot of things- money, status, happiness. But I still can't help but feel down. Perhaps you're busy and stuff, but I feel like you don't like me. You can tell me if you want to avoid me. I mean, humans make mistakes. And just like that, werewolves can make mistakes too. Perhaps you chose the wrong person for you..."

"Stop talking," I said coldly. 

It was getting too much. Could she not see how angry I was? Who the hell gave her this kind of idea? 

"Get to the point, Blue. I don't like to hear nonsense."

She flinched. She looked scared. But I could not help but get angry. I did not care if others talked nonsense about themselves, but when it came to her, I could not just ignore her. 

"Tell me clearly," I said. 

"I... I think I'm too bad for you. Perhaps I did really badly on... our wedding night. I could not do things properly," she sobbed. "It won't be a surprise in that case if you don't want to sleep with me anymore. But please tell me first if you don't like to do it with me or be with me. Or it hurts."

"Damn it! Fuck!" 

I hugged her tightly. Her tiny body trembled in my embrace. Tears fell on the front of my robe. 

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"I don't want to cry... hic... I just... Just tell me if you don't want me. Trust me, I will get over it..."

"Don't talk. Don't utter a single more word. Just keep quiet," I said coldly. 

"Dem..."

"I told you not to talk."

It took her some time to calm down fully. So she was thinking that way... I thought she hated to be with me, but it did not seem like the case. Rather she was feeling insecure and thought that I did not want her anymore and she had done badly on our wedding night. How ridiculous? The way she made me feel that night was something I could give up everything to feel again. 

It took her a while to calm down. I did not like to see her cry at all. It was like feeling a lump in the chest. 

"Hic... hic..."

I pulled her back and wiped her face with my thumbs. Fortunately, her eyes did not look puffy. But her lips and cheeks were a bit swollen and red. 

"Now tell me, my wife. Did you think I didn't sleep with you again because you did badly on our wedding night? And because I don't want you anymore?"

She nodded. "Look at me, my wife."

She raised her head slowly to meet my waiting gaze. Her blue eyes seemed to shine even more. Every time I looked into them, I could sense something weird. But the feeling was not bad, rather it was kind of peaceful. 

"Stay still," I said. I touched her lips with my fingers and traced down her jaw, cheeks, eyes, nose, ears, neck... The moment my hand reached her chest, she held my hand quickly. 

"I think I told you to stay still, my wife," I said. 

"But..."

"Stay still."

She drew her hand back slowly. I touched her breasts lightly, running my fingers over her nipples that hardened under my touch. 

"Um..."

Even the touching was light and over her nightgown, it still seemed to affect her. I slowly made my way downward. 

The moment my hand touched her thigh, she flinched again. But she did not move much this time. 

My hand found its way under her nightgown and the moment, my finger touched her moistness, she grabbed my hand tightly with her eyes widened with shock. 

"Demetrius... What are... you doing... all of a... sudden?"

"Stay still, my wife, and don't ask."

"How can I? You're..."

"Shhh... isn't it normal for a husband to touch his wife like this? Or do you hate me when I do it?"

"No... that's not it..."

"Then stay still, my wife."

Her moistness dampened my fingers. The slippery liquid made it easy to rub the place. She squirmed in my arms as if she was in pain. But of course, the pain was not like any other pain. This pain was sweet. 

"See how wet you're, my wife? See what I'm doing to you? All these days I wanted to do this. But I restrained."

"Uh... Ah! Stop rubbing..."

"You know why? Because I wanted you to make the first move. I thought you didn't want to do it with me," I said and pushed two fingers inside her. 

"Ah! Uh... wait! Dem... uh!"

"But you didn't come to me. Do you know how hard it was for me to control myself? And now you're saying these types of things?"

I sped up and held her tightly so she would not be able to get away. She was squirming badly as if she had hardship in breathing. 

"Ah! Uh! Ahh... D-Dem... Ah! Wa... Wait! Oh god! Please!" she moaned. 

"It's your punishment for talking like that."

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