Chapter 35: Pain and Loss

Angel

“It’s not true,” I said as tears streamed down my face. There was no way that my mom was dead. There just couldn’t be. I felt my heart sink lower with every passing moment. Taylor was there holding me, but it was barely noticeable. There had to be a mistake. Many people died tonight because of that giant, so maybe it was one of them. But the look on Taylor’s face made it hard to believe that.

“I am sorry, Angel, the doctor said they did all that they could, but your mom had suffered too much for them to repair the damage. I am truly sorry,” Taylor said as she continued trying to comfort me. Part of me wanted to ask her to leave. The other part knew that I wanted her near. Silently I cursed the person responsible for this. Even though that whack job helped, he wasn’t the one pulling strings. But that doc still had my dad, Arron, and Maddison. We were going to have to rescue them. Then when that was over, I would be quitting the whole superhero idea. I never really wanted to be a superhero anyway.

“Ah, I see you are doing better,” the doctor said as he walked into the room. He checked my vitals then looked at his chart. “you are supposed to be sleeping, dear. I don’t think your body can take anymore.” I shook my head. How could I sleep when all I could think about was the fact that my mom was dead?

“I can’t sleep, not till I see her,” I said as I tried to get up, only to almost fall onto the floor. Despite my protest, my body did not want to move. Not to mention that there was something different about me. Looking down at myself for the first time, I noticed what it was. Although I still had a tail and could feel my ears twitch, the rest of my body was human. What had happened. I couldn’t remember everything.

“What happened?” I asked Taylor as I resituated myself on the bed. I saw the look in her eye. Something bad happened. She didn’t answer. First, she sat there quietly, holding her tail close to her. I could tell that whatever it was, it was really bugging her.

“Well, first, you turned into a huge wolf—literally the size of that giant. Then you two fought. During the fight, Stone Skin, Ashley, Esme, and I did our best to save any and all survivors from the fight. Then I went back to watching you…. then you…. I can’t say.” She said before looking down at the ground.

“Was it that bad?” I asked, trying to reach for her. She moved away slightly out of my reach. A sharp pain set in as she did. It was like she didn’t want to be near me. What had I done that was so bad that she didn’t want to be near me? After mom was stabbed and I felt myself changing, everything went dark. I felt the goddess’s presence, and then I woke up in the hospital.

“I don’t remember anything after mom. It was as if I was stuck in a dark room by myself. I don’t even know what happened with that giant.” I said I tried with all my might to recall what happened, but it was as if the information just wasn’t there.

“You killed it, Angel. You ripped its head off its body,” she said as she trembled. She had to be wrong. I would never kill someone. I may have had people that I despised, but never enough to kill them. There had to be an explanation. Something that I was missing. Did the goddess really take over my body?

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“Listen, Taylor. Remember, when I told you about that weird dream I had where I was in a white room?” I asked, trying again to reach for her, she didn’t move, but I could tell that she didn’t want me touching her. “I think that she took over my body. She said that she took me as her vessel during the storm. Look at that altar on the island above my dads’ town. I didn’t put that there, and I was never around those people on it.”

Taylor sat there for a moment, but She didn’t talk. She didn’t even look at me. She just looked at the ground. I felt my heart begin to break even more as I thought I was losing her when I already lost my mom. After everything that we had been through, something that I couldn’t even control was going to destroy what little happiness I had left.

“I am not mad. And I knew there was something wrong with you. And to be honest, if you, or whoever it was, didn’t kill the giant, he would have hurt more people. But knowing it happened is still a little hard to digest. I love you, Angel. I just need some time to process what happened. But right now, we need to worry about your mom,” Taylor finally said as she looked up at me. Then she reached over and touched my hand.

After a couple of hours, someone from the funeral home came by to take my mom. They allowed me to see her, though they made sure to keep everything except her face covered. I said my goodbyes before they took her away. Soon after, my dad and my sister came by. I had to explain everything that I could remember. I watched as they both crumbled at the news. We sat in my room for as long as the nurses would allow them to stay. Dad told me that when I was released, he would pick me up and take me home. I knew he meant his house.

Three days had passed since that night, and at that time, everyone had come to dads to check on us. Taylor came the third day and took to the guest room. I stayed in the room with Holly. I wanted to give Taylor as much space as she needed. Ashley and Esme stayed at one of Mr. Carver’s private properties. It seemed Mr. Carver’s dream of having a team of superheroes was all but destroyed. Not that I minded. I never really wanted to be a hero. And with what everyone had told me about that night, I didn’t even want to be the goddess’ vessel.

Friday morning, I woke up full of dread. It was the day that we finally buried my mom. Everyone was already in the kitchen when I came in. No one really said anything. It was one of those moments where no one knows what to say. Taylor came up to me and hugged me tightly but didn’t say anything. She had started talking to me a few days ago, but we still stayed in separate rooms. Holly seemed to enjoy the company when I wasn’t moping.

By eleven, the company limo came to pick us up. The others followed behind us in their cars as we headed towards the cemetery. Memories of my childhood started flooding back to me as we went.. In some ways, it felt like one of those movie scenes that you saw when someone died, but this was no movie. I would never get to hear Mom’s voice again. I would never get to see her smile. Silently I cried, not caring who saw.

The service was lovely. People took turns talking about how good a person my mom was. My dad seemed to tell their life story. Everyone kept saying that she was in a better place now, but they were wrong. She wasn’t in a better place. A better place would have been right here with her family. A better place would be here at home, worrying about me like she always did. All it did was upset me. Once the service was over, without saying a word, I took off. I flew back home, back to the last piece of my mom I had left.

Walking through the door, the pain overtook me. I fell to the floor as the tears poured out of me. I laid there for hours as I cried. At some point, the sound of footsteps rang in my ear, though I ignored whoever it was. I felt the warmth of someone holding me, but I didn’t look up to see who it was. They didn’t say anything. They let me cry and just held me. Finally, my body decided that it was exhausted from the day and from the crying. The last thing I remember was the sound of someone softly singing to me.

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