Nevaeh felt the world at a standstill as she stared at the face of the man peering at her with an inscrutable look. Her heart pounded with anxiety and fear. She couldn't guess if he were in a state of bewilderment, but she thought he was.
Her heart trembled erratically, just like her fingers suddenly turned sweaty. Her nervous gaze was keenly fixed on him, too afraid to bat her lashes.
She knew it was about time she told him the truth. As a matter of fact, it was long overdue, but seeing his reaction, she feared if she had made a mistake. Has she?
She stilled at the thoughts of what was possibly going through his mind.
She had dallied and overly pondered on several questions for too long - questions she might never be able to answer, and that had brought her to this point, breaking his trust. But if she must shake off this feeling of guilt and fear that loomed in her heart and overwhelmed her soul, if she must set herself free, then the truth was the only way. After all, it was said that only the truth makes one free.
Her lungs felt tight as they slowly ran out of air. She was too nervous to take a breath and too tensed to let her lids flutter. She feared he might disappear from her sight if she as much as blinks, and she'll forever miss the opportunity to apologise genuinely. The entirety of her being was glued and focused on the man before her—the man who she had once feared for the danger signs around him, but now all she feared was what he thought of her.
"En-"
"What did you say?" He finally broke the silence after aeons of utter silence. His voice wasn't filled with shock or surprise. It sounded neutral so much it missed the vigour that had always lingered in it, and it scared her.
She sunk her sweaty hands into the sheet, firmly gripping it for support to garner the strength to repeat the tongue slicing words she had muttered seconds ago.
"I—I'm not your wife." She repeated, and for the first time, he gave a reaction; his eyes changed. As if the previous round of silence wasn't frustrating enough, he fell into another round of it, making her heart skip and beat erratically. She felt intensely nervous when she couldn't tell what he was thinking. His blue-green eyes were calculative and discerning.
"You're not Elle." Nevaeh wasn't sure if that was a question or not, but all she could do was nod affirmatively.
"I'm sorry." She apologised, her eyes instantly brimming with tears that burned her throat and chest. "I didn't mean to lie. I had no choice. I was only trying to –"
"Save your family." He said, and she nodded. She carefully moved closer. With hitched breath and trembling hands, she slowly reached for his hand on the bed, and she fearfully placed her small hand on his. He looked at her hand on his, and she feared he might take it away, but he didn't.
"Dale, believe me, I didn't intend to lie to you. I had no choice at the time."
"So you decided to what...use me?"
"No!" She vigorously shook her head, her hand over his instinctively tightened while she crawled closer to him, her eyes dancing with dread and staring at him with intense desperation. "I didn't want to use you, or lie to you, or take advantage of you. I never planned for this." She hurriedly explained. 'I didn't intend to want you or fall for you as I have done.' Were the words she didn't add.
"Engel, I didn't intend for any of this to happen." She subconsciously squeezed his hand even more, making him glance at his hand and back at her.
"Every day with you was torture because I had to remind myself that you're my sister's man, and I shouldn't give in to you. I never wanted any of this." Her eyes glistened with more tears. She could tell he was trying to gauge the weight of her words, and she wanted him to believe her. She had been thrust into this just like he was, making them victims of her mother's ploy, but the only difference was, she knew the truth.
She knew the truth, yet she kept it.
She knew he wasn't his, but she had fallen for him nonetheless. She had enjoyed every one of his kisses and caresses, accepted his care and kindness in her sister's stead.
"So why are you telling me now?" He asked, making her stiffen. Why was she telling him now?
Because she was being hopeful that maybe he could find some way to know if perhaps she was what he was looking for. If perhaps she was his... destiny?
Her grip around his fingers subconsciously loosened as she lowered her head. "Be—because it is the right thing to do." She muttered. Her voice was low, and she dared not look at his face. She feared he might see the truth from her eyes. He might not be able to read her thoughts, but his soul searching eyes always reflected her thoughts.
A part of her wanted to tell him the truth, tell him why she was spewing this truth, but she couldn't. She couldn't let her selfishness ruin his life or make his sacrifice be in vain.
A tear rolled down her eyes as she whispered, "I'm truly sorry, Engel. You have no idea how sorry I am." She cried.
Seconds of silence reigned between them, and Nevaeh, who was filled with curiosity, raised her head to him. She was surprised to see him staring at her chest like he was listening to her heartbeat.
"What's your name?"
"N-Nevaeh." Her lips trembled. "Nevaeh Steele." She told him. Her heart skipped when she saw his lips in an attempt to mutter her name, but it never came.
"Is there something else you have to say?" He asked while she shook her head.
"Then tell me, where is Elle?"
She lowered her head in shame and replied, "I don't know."