Nevaeh silently watched Engel who was lost in thoughts, his eyes blankly staring into space as he stood by the window. She believed he was still pondering on what Araminta had said.
"What are you thinking about? Are you still shocked?" She snaked her hand around him and placed her head on his broad back.
He turned around and faced her, his eyes staring at her in an indescribable way. Nevaeh could see the turbulence twirling in his seemingly calm eyes. Myriad of questions were buried deep in them.
"Engel?" She softly called his name when he remained quiet. She gently touched his face. "What are you thinking about?" She asked again.
He sighed and replied. "A lot."
"About me?" She asked as she stared at him with great intent, while he nodded.
"I feel like I've been a fool." He said in a dull and disappointed tone, and Nevaeh could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes.
She caressed his unusually tight cheek. "Why do you say that? You're not a fool."
"But I think I am."
"Engel."
"I don't know if I'm supposed to be angry but I am, and I can't help it." He said and continued while Nevaeh calmly listened to him.
"Your death is all on me, and the time I waited I took as punishment for my failure. Giving my powers to bring you back was my way to redeem myself and also an attempt to take the enemy off our paths, but now I discover I still haven't done anything for you. That I'm still failing again and again."
Failing again and again? Nevaeh didn't like the sound of that.
"Don't say that." She chided. His voice was strong but she could hear the emotions in them. It was the kind she had never heard him speak with before, and it pricked her heart.
"Then what should I say? I'm supposed to know the trivia things that I currently do not know, and I wonder why. Would I still have lost you, or would i have been able to save you from the pain and death you endured If I had been a little humble or paid more attention to these things?"
"Engel." Nevaeh called again to stop him. He was wallowing in self blame, and she didn't like it.
Her hands travelled round his face, trying to smoothen every crease on his face.
"You don't have to blame yourself. You didn't fail me or anyone. Engel, you've made sacrifices for everyone. You hibernated yourself to stop the enemy, and you lost what you love to protect the realms...."
"I should have protected you!" He snapped. Yes, he should have protected her and not the stupid realms. He should have known what she was and why Lord Daeryn had been after her. Had he known, he would have acted differently. He wouldn't have left her in the witches realm, allowing her to come find him on her own, and falling into the hands of those demons. She could guess these were the things going on his head. But what could he do? Those were passed and she didn't blame him for anything. He had done his best, and even someone as powerful as him is allowed to fail sometimes. Failing is a natural phenomenon of life and it isn't exclusive to some people. Everyone experiences it and it isn't to make them feel less of themselves, but to show them what they've missed to get it right the second time.
Nevaeh smiled at his out burst. She could feel his anger. "But Engel, you protected me. You protected me by keeping everyone safe. Give yourself some credit." She told him.
"I don't want it." He removed her hands from his face and turned away. Nevaeh quietly observed him. She could tell there was more eating him up other than the fact that he didn't know about the things Araminta had said.
She held his arm and turned him towards her so he could look into her eyes.
"What really bothers you?" She asked while she continued to observe him.
Engel hissed. "Everything."
"What do you mean?"
"I failed, Nevaeh, in everything. And I'm failing again. I failed in protecting you and keeping you safe. I failed in knowing leaving you behind wasn't a solution but a problem. I failed in bringing you back."
In bringing her back? So this was a matter of his pride?
"So you're hurt a mere witch made a sacrifice to bring me back, while you did nothing?" She asked him, but he didn't give her an answer. But his eyes and silence gave her the answer she wanted.
"Engel this isn't what is important right now. You should be happy that we got another chance to be together, not just to love but to protect us and the people around us." She told him, but he looked the same. She hissed.
"I can't say I know how you're feeling, but I can try to imagine. You didn't fail me by not doing anything for me. You've done alot, and if it isn't enough, then aren't you getting another chance to do it now? Does it truly matter who made the sacrifice? What matters is that, I'm here with you." she kissed his lips to sooth him.
"Look on the bright side Lord Engel, if your powers were truly gone, how are you going to protect me from the enemy? Or didn't you say in this lifetime you'd protect me? So why are you acting out this way, hmm?" Nevaeh glanced at his eyes which were now attentively staring at her.
She hugged him and placed her face on his chest. "I still don't know much, but let's not make Araminta's sacrifice go to waste." She pulled away and looked at his face again.
"And shouldn't you be all over me now? Or did you not miss me at all?" Nevaeh faked a pout at him. His frigid face finally softened.
He lowered himself and kissed her. "I'm sorry."
Nevaeh raised a brow at him. "Are you sure?" She asked making him nod.
His face looked slightly brightened but she could still tell he wasn't completely over it. His mind was still troubled, but they would get there later.
Nevaeh eyes glistened as she looked at his angelic face. "Engel, I think I'm tensed."
Engel peered at her confusedly, but his eyes suddenly darkened when he realized what she had just said.
He looked at her with shocked surprise.
"You just got back." His voice suddenly turned deep.
"Isn't that why I'm tensed?" She shyly and innocently blinked at him.
His eyes darkened deeper, as his fingers reached for her chin and tilted it up. "Are you tempting me?"
"Haven't you always tempted me?" She firmly asked back, trying to hide the nervousness in her voice.
Engel speechlessly stared at her. Nevaeh stood on her toes and softly kissed his lips, letting him know she meant the words she had said. He broke the kiss and anxiously glanced at her.
"Are you sure?" He inquired and she nodded her head.
.....
Engel was utterly surprised and amused by her sudden boldness. She was intiating alot of kisses today and everyone of them seem to pulling on his heart's string. The softness of her lips pressed against his and her small hand placed on his chest was making his mind sway as he returned her kiss. His eyes closed the moment his lips moved against hers.
He had a lot going on his mind, but this wife of his was making his mind foggy.
Her kiss was gentle, sweet and loving, and he felt immersed in her warmth and innocence. She had just gotten back, and he felt she needed to rest, but seeing her act this way made him lose himself.
His hand slowly went around her svelte waist, pulling her closer to himself as he hungrily devoured her lips. He opened his eyes and he saw how passionate she was in kissing him. She tendered to him like all she wanted was to kiss his worries away. She was comforting him when he should be doing that for her.
He lifted her off the ground and placed her on the window making her eyes fly wide open when she felt where he has placed her.
"Engel..." She panickly called. What was he doing? She looked behind her and her heart skipped. What if she falls?
"Do you trust me?" He asked and she slowly nodded.
"Then hold on tight." He husked and claimed her lips once again, his hand holding her steady by her waist while her hands went around his neck holding him firmly. Engel could hear the heavy beats of her heart slowly ease. He caressed her thighs as he kissed her neck, slowly teasing her with the tip of tongue and drawing a moan from her.. How he missed hearing those cries from whenever he touched her.