Chapter 7: The Batcave

I really love coffee.

Honestly, I’m probably addicted to it. I can’t have a single day without drinking an entire mug of it, or I would get terrible headaches. So, since I woke up a few hours ago, I’m still having my first coffee of the day.

But there is nothing better for me than the soft bitterness of a good coffee, so I don’t take people seriously when they say they like coffee and then pour sugar or milk until it loses all its flavors in exchange for a terribly pasty and thirsty aftertaste.

They don’t like coffee, they only drink it as a caffeine syrup with as much rejection as they would with medication.

I like honest people who say they’d rather drink something else better. I have nothing against tea or milk, I actually like them too, and couldn’t care less about the stupid warm drink wars or whatever British people like to have ridiculous debates on.

I hate Brits too, but that’s common sense.

They ruined my homeland and killed people I love.

Oh, don’t worry, I’m not racist since I hate everyone else anyway.

In fact, I even hate my homeland’s people for being massive idiots.

But that’s not relevant for now and I silently sip my coffee while watching the latest episode of a popular anime that is currently airing on my computer.

It’s not very interesting, so I keep myself busy by playing games on my phone and regularly checking the red blinking dot on the top left screen.

The multiple screen’s artificial lights reflect in my big glasses, as I’m comfortably sitting, legs crossed on the desk’s chair with a blanket on my shoulders and nobody would guess I was restlessly working a few minutes ago.

Not a sound gets out from my perfectly isolated headphones and if I wasn’t living with the wildest lunatic, our neighbors may think this place is uninhabited.

How boring. These soulless, mass-produced, garbage are all the same with no exception. Good anime is rare nowadays…

I get sick of this one so I close the player and delete the episode before declaring it as ‘dropped’ on my list. I give it a 5/10 rating because it wasn’t horribly bad, but it still wasn’t worth my time. And then I proceed to watch the next one.

Ah. This one seems fun.

It actually begins really well, what the hell… It’s been a while since I didn’t feel enthusiastic about a new anime.

The music is great, it’s from one of my favorite composers, and the directing is also very nice!

It’s only the first episode and the plot and characters are already well developed! And this twist in the middle actually draws a smile on my face and makes me feel some kind of excitement!

“This time, I’ll make sure he didn’t -DING DONG- nothing.”

What?

Who the hell is ringing at our door at this hour? Because of this crap I missed some big impact on the episode’s climax!

Schwa would never forget or lose her keys… Maybe…?

I frustratedly pause the anime a few minutes before the ending and walk to the front door.

DING DONG!

I step on the stool behind the door and look in the peephole…

 

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EPISODE 3: HIDEOUT

 

“Hello! Is anybody there?!”

I’m about to ring the doorbell a third time before it unlocks.

It took me roughly one hour to get to the first floor of this apartment, in the outskirts of the town.

“Ah finally, I feared I got the wrong address!”

I say while pushing the door with my feet, since my arms are busy holding the old man’s legs who I’m carrying on a piggyback.

“A boy…”

I get inside the pitch-black flat and a dark skin white-haired boy in pajamas is looking at me with his shining blue eyes.

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“So what? Follow me to the basement.” He says while his small legs run quickly deeper in the darkness.

“SO CUTE!” I shout.

He’s so cute with his big glasses and headphones, and his pajamas and the sassy tone of his voice!

He’s so cute he actually makes me smile and blush and I have the sudden desire to hold him tight and carry him around.

So, I run after him.

“YOU’RE SO CUTE! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!”

“Be quiet! Gosh, you’re as loud as the other one. And don’t run, you’re going to hurt the injured. But don’t walk slowly either, we don’t have much time, so come swiftly to the basement now!”

He’s so serious… That’s so cute!

“Uhuhu, don’t worry sweet little boy, my back is as comfortable as the gods’ sofas in Olympus!”

“Don’t call me that my name is Abhi.”

“Oh, that’s a cute name, where is it from?”

“Shut up.”

He might not realize but I don’t plan to shut up.

“How do you and Boobies know each other? Family? Are you brother and sister? Why is your hair white? Are you an albino? Are you her associate? Is it you who can save the old man? Where did you learn medicine? Aren’t you too young?”

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. No. Yes. Yes. Shut up. NO!”

“Hehe, you’re even cuter when you’re angry.”

After the lobby, I follow him in a mundane looking living room with an opened kitchen on the left. We quickly get through it, then he opens the door to a workshop illuminated by the screens of TVs and computers.

“Oh, is that the new anime… ‘Mecha Dinosaur Impact?’ Wow you’re watching it too? It’s so cool, I love it so far, it’s so unlike every other anime airing currently! I liked it when the MC said, ‘This time, I’ll make sure he didn’t die for nothing!’ about his best friend, but don’t worry, I’ve actually read the manga and he-”

“DON’T SPOIL ME YOU SUBHUMAN!” He shouts.

“Eh, no need to cry, I was not about to spoil anything relevant.”

“I am not crying! Come here.”

The next door he opens heads to descending wooden stairs and I have some trouble keeping my balance while stepping on it with the tall old man on my back.

“This feels like a superhero’s hideout. Are we going to the Batcave?”

“No.”

Indeed, it was not a Batcave. But close enough.

After a laundry room, a reinforced door is hiding behind a curtain of drying clothes.

Clever security, nobody would expect something to be hidden behind the D cup bras and pink panties. Everybody would stop at those thinking THAT was the thing to hide! Then they would probably steal and sell them to perverts on the black net.

The reinforced door is also secured by an 8-digit code and handprints but I think they could have stopped at the panties.

“What the hell…?”

My excitement reaches the stratosphere when I realize I’ve just stepped inside the Alibaba cavern. From the multiple weapons hanging on the walls, the boxes filled with different types of ammunition, the decapitated training mannequin riddled with bullets, to the spotless surgery table with professional lamps and equipment lying in the middle of the basement, everything here was measured to be the perfect hideout for people like us.

A 50 meters wide, 2 meters high haven illuminated by a row of neon on the ceiling and with different rooms I can’t explore yet.

The boy didn’t wait for me to analyze everything and put an oversized white blouse on.

“What are you waiting for? Lay him there.” He says while cutting the air with scissors and juggling with a scalpel.

For a moment I find him quite cool so I hold back my urge to rush and carry him, but with his oversized blouse and serious gaze, he must currently be the cutest boy on Earth.

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