Chapter 4: 4

“…This is not the time. You have to go to your father.”

Philo Mel wiped away her tears and hurried her feet. It was Eustis who held her own lifeline, not them.

‘So I won’t get hurt.’

She walked slowly, looking around her. Since she was still young, she lived in the palace of her emperor without being granted her own palace. Besides, for some reason, there were fewer people in the palace at some point. Evading the few attendants, she arrived in front of the emperor’s office. Due to the nature of Eustis, who does not have a separate escort in the palace, there was no one near the office.

Philomel gently opened her door.

“… So persistent, Pollan.”

Through the narrow crack in the door, she could see the interior of the office. Despite the splendid decorations, Eustis and Count Pollan were in a room that had a rustic feel. Count Pollan was in the middle of giving a mantra to the emperor who was sitting in front of the desk.

“But, Your Majesty. Since the princess is unwell, wouldn’t it be better to visit her?”

Just in time, their topic was Philomel.

Rather, it was great. She would be able to know what Eutis thought of her without asking him herself. So Philomel quietly listened to them.

The emperor frowned and said.

“Why do you care so much about it? Do you even feel sympathy for her being sick? I’m sure she’ll be faking it again anyway.”

“The courtier said she caught a really bad cold this time.”

“Therefore?”

“If His Majesty visits, great power will be given to the princess…”

“A cold is not so much.”

Count Pollan was silent for a moment. He had been loyal to Eustis since he was a prince. So he was relatively free to ask personal questions.

“Your Majesty, why are you so hard on your daughter? Isn’t she your only blood relative?”

Philomel’s chest tightened. She herself was always curious. Why didn’t he give affection to Philomel?

And the emperor’s answer was shocking.

“I never once felt it was my child.”

She felt like if something hit her head.

“Do you think the reason Isabella died was because of the princess? So…”

“Shut up.”

“…I apologize.”

Pollan immediately lowered his head at Eustis’ sad expression. The story of his wife who died in front of him was a kind of taboo.

Sullenly, the emperor said.

“I once thought so. It was very disappointing. To the point where I wanted to take her life with these hands.”

“…”

“But that is a thing of the past. I have no feelings now.”

“Why…”

“Because there are no expectations. I didn’t want it to fill Isabella’s void. I would be satisfied if she had a minimal role as successor.”

Eustis, who pressed his forehead with a tired face, continued.

“But what are the results? She is insincere in class, and she only produces insignificant results. Yesterday, she even showed ugliness in front of many people.”

“…Princess Philomel is working hard too. It’s got to be a bit messy sometimes.”

“If trouble is effort, then you are right.”

Eustis laughed, pulling only one corner of his mouth.

“You are too strict. The princess is only nine years old. It is natural that there are immature parts.”

“At that age, I had a feud with my blood brothers.”

“The situation was like that then, and Your Majesty was outstanding from a young age…”

“It’s not like Isabella, and she doesn’t look like me at all.”

“Even if she doesn’t look like her, she is His Majesty’s daughter.”

“It’s okay. Stop now.”

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He got up from his seat and approached the cupboard lined with bottles in one corner of the room. From the back pouring the amber liquid into the glass, the will to talk had already disappeared. Anything more than that would only irritate the emperor. Eustis was slightly more tolerant of Pollan than the rest of him, but only slightly.

As Count Pollan tried to step down, he looked back at the emperor for the last time.

“…Do you really feel no affection for the princess?”

Philomel had to leave quickly before Count Pollan came out the door. However, her feet did not come off at all. She had to listen to Eustis’ answer. Philomel’s fate depended on that answer.

Eustis slowly opened his mouth.

“Yes. Now I only want one thing from her.”

Philomel took a deep breath in her.

“Living as a dead mouse. I don’t want to have to pay attention to her not to know if she is there or not.”

It was such a cold and solid answer. As if it would never change.

* * *

When she came to her senses, she had already returned to her room.

Shortly after Eustis’ last words, Count Pollan stayed in the office to retort, allowing Philomel to return undetected. And then she collapsed onto her bed.

“Now what?”

Her father. No, the emperor did not regard her as his daughter at all, nor did he have the slightest interest in her. If Elencia appeared in the future and it turns out that Philomel was a fake, he will not forgive her. What if she lived a kind life without acting out her vices like ‘Philomel’ in the book?

‘Wouldn’t it save only her life?’

It didn’t seem like an improbable story at all. Even in the novel she turns out to be fake and she didn’t die right away. It was thanks to Elencia, who took pity on her and begged Eustis to forgive her.

Although the ‘evil’ Philomel, jealous of Elencia, pays her the rest of her favor as her enemy and she is eventually executed. She thought, ‘Unlike in the book, I might be able to escape death if I know my place well and act according to the circumstances…’

“But…”

That alone wasn’t enough. She did not want to risk her life on such a flimsy hope. It was a precarious life, not knowing when she would die if she offended the emperor even a little.

Suddenly, the maids and escorts she saw today came to mind. They had an obvious animosity towards Mel. Now it’s just gossip, but what if it turns out that she isn’t the princess?

“… They won’t leave me alone.”

The scary thing was that they might not be the only ones who hated her. If they spread bad rumors about Philomel and frame her, ‘can I guarantee my life even then??’

Inversely, that was not the case. Philomel wanted a greater chance of survival. She never wanted to die. It was then that an idea popped into her mind.

Let’s run away. Even if it’s impossible right now, let’s leave this place before Elencia appears. It was the moment when the life plan of the young fake princess was decided.

* * *

After that, until just before bedtime, Philomel was preoccupied with fleshing out her escape plan, which she had conjured up throughout the day. She went to bed early, but because of her complicated brain, it was late when she fell asleep. So late at night, she didn’t even notice someone entering her room.

“It’s me, Princess. Come to His Majesty…”

Eustis beckoned her nurse to wake the sleeping child.

‘What I’m doing?’

Looking down at Mel’s white, round face, the emperor mocked himself. Count Pollan did not back down easily and kept bringing up the topic of the princess to notice Eustis. He could have just ignored it, but when Count Pollan kept mentioning it, he felt like he had to check on her daughter once in a while.

Maybe it was because the yellow eyes that were looking directly at him in the rain yesterday seemed somehow solemn and desperate. Of course it would be an illusion. She was the emperor’s only daughter, what desperation could such a blessed child feel? However, it seemed that Paulan’s words that the child was quite sick were true, even by the naked eye.

“… ji”

Suddenly a voice came out of the little one’s mouth.

“…father.”

He wondered if she had woken up, but Philomel had still closed her eyes, she was just tossing and turning. She was a simple drool talker.

“I… a good girl… I’ll be. Killer… So… Don’t kill…”

A soft sound that seems to go out when blown. A few more words were heard, but most of them were close to mumbling, and that was all Eustis understood. Then he started to shed tears even while sleeping, wondering what was so sad about it.

For some reason, Eustis couldn’t take his eyes off Philomel’s face. He had vague memories. Eustis, pondering what it was, soon recalled a memory of his distant days. A child who barely managed to fall asleep every night, trembling with fear that he might die. He was the ‘He’ of his childhood. Surprisingly, he was similar to Philomel now.

It was the first time in his life that he felt that his daughter resembled him.

In order to survive and to stand at the peak, he was in a hurry to pile up blood and sin, so he completely forgot that such a time even existed. The Emperor impulsively reached out and wiped the tears from the child’s cheek. The feelings and hopes of the time were revived, albeit very faintly.

‘Back then, I wanted someone to reach out to me like this.’

Tight.

A small, plump hand grasped Eustis’s fingertips. That, too, was done while asleep, but he was a little surprised. The sensation of touching the skin of anyone other than his dead wife was very unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. The child’s hand was much smaller and warmer than expected. He felt a little warmth for a while and went back.

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