Chapter 2: Chapter 1 “Worthless life”

My life doesn't have anything special to speak about. I was the only son of my family, we never have a good economic situation, so I started working the moment I got the legal age, and with that I helped my parents pay the all expenses while I was saving money to be able to go to the university to get a better job, so after years working with a minimum wage my parents were able to help me pay the university costs. I chose specifically the history studies because it was easy to me, and I also studied medicine and got the title of that career too. And that allowed me to work as a teacher in the university of my state, it was a shame that I wasn't able to work in a hospital or in any medicine related jobs, but at least my job as a teacher allowed me to make good amounts of money.

My job is what you would expect, I just enter the classroom and then start teaching my students the subject I teach, in my case, his history is history. I know that not everyone is interested in the subject of course, that's why I am not going to do like the other teachers do and just give a speech in a monotonous tone that will make everyone bored and fall asleep, instead I explain everything in the most understandable way possible, so everyone can keep up, one of my favorite things is seeing my students ask questions, that way they can understand better the subject, in the case of test I make them logical, I will never make a test asking something that is very hard to find making that way my student's life hell, I make the test with logic questions of the most important parts of my school material. But I am not limited to just teaching history. Since I have medicine knowledge, there are students from the medicine studies that come to me asking for help explaining them parts of their subjects that they don't understand since, apparently, 90% of their teachers doesn't give a fuck about them learning anything, so in my free time I allow other students to come to my office, so I can help them. 

That is, me inside the university, but outside that building, I go to an animal shelter as a volunteer. I love animals with all my heart they are so pure and friendly that it literally melt my heart, there are mainly dogs, but there are also cats, there is not that much variety, but I still enjoy making them happy, and apparently I am known as the "cat whisperer", I don't know why but apparently the cats in the shelter love me. My favorite cat is called Wi-Fi, he is a cat with black and white hair, and he even has a like a signal logo on his chest, he always wants to be near me, so I wear a hoodie, and then he just stays in my hood chilling, my favorite dog is called tail, the name actually has a very funny story behind it, the story is that since he is constantly happy and seeking attention his tail is constantly moving, and it's like a wip, and the other volunteers usually tell her to not hit them with her tail, and she just assumed that "Tail" was her name, so every time someone says "Tail" she will come running to you and wip you with her tail, she is a golden retriever, with that information is easy to guess why she is constantly happy. For some reason no one wanted to adopt her.

Some of you will say that my life is actually a pretty comfortable life, where you can live without worries, with economic stability, people that support you, etc... But that would actually be a lie, remember what I tell you in the beginning? That was all a lie, or in other words, the "official truth".

The truth is that I had an older sister, she was the one that started working at a young age and help us get out of poverty. She also received many scholarships because she was an excellent student, and with that money she paid all of her studies, mostly medicine related careers, and that actually paid off, she started working in a laboratory that was trying to develop treatments for phase 3 and 4 of cancer. We were very close with each other, I learned 99% of my knowledge about biology and medicine because of her, we were in close contact for years, she even came to visit me in my birthdays, that would not sound like something that special that the fact that she lived in the other side of the country, and still came to see me, is a big proof that my sister cared for me, she even helped me pay my studies. The thing that I loved about her was the fact that she had a charismatic and caring personality, she was also very straightforward, underestimate her was a mistake, or even treat her as inferior because she was a woman was a massive mistake, because she would kick your ass literally and figuratively. She had a project that shared with me, the project was simple, but if it ended up in success, it would save millions of lives, a vaccine to cure cancer, it doesn't matter in what phase the cancer would be in, it would cure it anyway.

She worked hard to achieve it in secret with a group of his closer friends, and she was actually about to succeed, but little did I know that her success would not achieve anything positive. She called me one day during the evening, it was a Saturday. Her voice was a voice of pure happiness, she told me that she did it, she made the cure for cancer, I asked her then how she knew it worked, and then she told me that she made many tests with cancer cells and when she used it the patients that go to her laboratory to receive treatment and also help in the local investigation, she told me that she ask them for consent before applying of course, and it worked, all of them, a week later after the vaccine being applied they were fully healed, I was so happy about her, ad she said that she will come to see me in a few days to celebrate the achievement. I could wait for her, so I took all the money I saved to give her the best present I could give her.

And I waited a few days, then weeks, and then moths, she never returned home to celebrate. I lost all contact with her, even when I was constantly calling her, there was no response, the only answer I received every time was "this telephone line doesn't exist", I was heartbroken. I called my parents to go visit her to see if she was alright, they seemed different this time, all the other times they would be happy to speak about her, but this time I could clearly saw in their faces that they were trying to hold their tears, I asked what happened, and they told me that I must forget about her, and she will never return home, I was only 25 at the time and that hit me like a truck, I just finished my studies in history and I wanted to celebrate with her, I still had faith that she would come back home, but my parents without saying a word turned on the TV, and then I saw the boss of the pharmaceutic company that my sister worked in saying that they achieved a treatment for cancer in phase 3 and 4 with a 100% effectiveness, that was impossible, she achieved a total cure for cancer, not just treatments, it was clearly water happened, she was always saying that she hated corporations and that the moment she got the cure she would leave that company to found her own to then distribute the cure to the world and not just make treatments to squeeze every last dollar out of cancer patients, and the moment they discover that she got the cure and was about to leave, they stone her work and then got rid of her, to then use her job to make the treatments.

I just wasn't able to leave it be, but my parents insisted in that they didn't want me to end like she did, there was nothing we can do for her now, even when we reported her disappearance to the police, the only answer they gave us was that the person we are reporting as missing doesn't exist, those bastards even deleted her from existence, and even when we tried to show them proof of their existence that ended up being our worst mistake, they entered in our home 2 days later and take away everything that proved that she existed, and then they sent us to a psychiatrist because apparently we were crazy, those were the worst years of my life.

The psychiatrists were trying to treat us like we were crazy, I knew the truth, but still they drug us and locked us in patient rooms, tying us to our beds when we were in our rooms, and when we were in the office of the psychiatrist the tied us to the chair, so we would resist. Those were the worst 3 years of my life, and at the end I started acting like the therapy worked, but it was a lie, I just do it to get out of there. 

After that horrible experience in that place, I was taking care of my parents. I started working as a teacher to get the money to give a good and comfortable life, during that time I also got the medicine degree to at least justify why I know so much about medicine, and created the official version I already said at the start. And after years taking care of them, they died of old age in their seventies.

I was alone, I didn't have anyone anymore, I only was keeping myself alive because of them, getting a girlfriend wasn't an option since, well, immediately after their death I would not have any reason to stay alive anymore. I even have planned how I would kill myself and everything, everything was ready to hang myself, and have a romantic partner would only make this entire process harder that it already is, but I didn't kill myself immediately after their death like I planned, I wasn't able to force myself to do it.

So I decided to make a list of things to do before "leaving", there wasn't much in there, only the next things:

- Give Wi-Fi and Tail a loving home 

- Fishing my job with this last class and help them graduate

Yes, I don't have that many aspirations. I may not have much in aspirations or desire to live that much. But I still have humor Ha Haaaa. I am the one that wants to commit suicide here, I choose my own copping mechanism. 

Still, today I will go to see my students graduation. I will later search for 2 good owners for tails and WI-FI. After that I will be done with life. And now I am here, watching my students recibe their graduation certificates. I fell bad for them, they think that said certificate would help them get a job or a future. HA, jokes on them, they will be hit by reality so hard they will look at their time in here with regret. They learn useful knowledge of course, but they don't know anything about contracts or how the private business will treat them.

"Mr. Canson, here you are"

"Hello Thyra, congratulations for graduating"

"Thank youuuu"

She is Thyra, one of my many students. All I have to say about her is that she was one of the best. Her ratings are actually perfect, and her relationship with the other students, at least to me, looked like she was the popular one. In physical appearance I don't know what to tell you, she looks like a regular 21 year old girl. And she is in front of me with a big smile, and acting very nervous. 

"Mr. Canson, there is something you need to see"

"What is it?"

"He hee~, come with me, i have something to show you"

Girl, I'm not into that. But I will follow you anyways because I'm curious.

I followed her for a while, and now we are in the university residence area. There is nothing special about it, it's literally designed like a soviet neighborhood. Every building has literally the exact same design, and the exact same Garden with only a few bushes with a few flowers for decoration. I bet the guy that designed this just wanted to get paid and didn't put any effort in his work. At least these buildings are functional.

We get to one of the university residences. Once we enter, we will surely find the same boring shared Area that all the residences share.

"""""SURPRISE"""""

........... I am speechless right now. I just...umm....uuuh...... I don't know what to say. I am just their teacher, I just did my job. Why would they waste their time in doing something like.......this. 

"Is this party....for me?"

"Of course it is, you bring us a lot of help during all of the years we spent in College."

"And we thought that I would be a good idea to make you a like party to thank you"

It really is for me. I...I don't know what to say. Apparently spending that much time helping them was something so unusual that they really appreciate it. 

"You guys.....didn't need to do it"

"Nonsense Mr.Canson"

"Yeah, you deserve this"

""""Yeah""""

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Please...stop. You are making me feel like a horrible person. How am I supposed to "leave" when I know that you are going to get affected by it. I made my decision, and I believe that if I take a decision I can't go back. But...you are showing me that you care about me. And I don't want to hurt you.

This is too hard to digest. I need to sit. I moved to one of the chairs to take a sit.

"Are you all right Mr..."

"No, there is no need to call me Mr. Canson. Call me by my name; Christopher"

"Is everything all right?" 

They surely are worried, and i can understand that. And everything is, in fact, all right. It's just that, I never feel any happiness in my after I lost my entire family, and now, I think I am happy. 

"Don't worry, I am just very happy about your surprise and all the effort you put into it"

I can't stop smiling like an idiot.

"We are happy to hear that"

""""Hahaha""""

"Come on Mr. Can.. I mean Christopher. This party is for you, come and join us"

""""Yeah""""

The party was awesome. They put that much effort that it was invigorating to know that I will be able to make them happy...even if it was one last time. They also gave me some presents. I can't get into that much detail because the list is pretty long. The presents went from hand-made objects (I wasn't aware about the origami abilities of some of my students) to books, some shirts with memes. My favorite one was one shirt that have the photograph that we made when we were celebrating the birthday of Thyra. Yes, she invited me to her birthday party, and that's where we made that photo. Now that I remember, there is something I need to do before "leaving".

"Thyra, do you know someone that likes dogs"

"Yes, there are many in here that love dogs" 

"I mean, there is something I need to ask you, it's important."

"Yeah, whatever you need"

"There is a Dog called Tails, and a cat called WI-FI where I volunteer that weren't able to get a house. I would like to ask you for help finding them a home where to live"

"Of course, I will try my best to find them a home."

I gave the direction to the shelter, and before I left we take one last group photo. Then they printed the photo giving one to each one of the present students.

They made me a promise before we all leave; "Don't worry about them, we promise you that we will find them a home". After that I knew I was done. 

In front of me there is the gallow. I don't know what is happening but this is harder than I remember. I think back to all of my happy memories, when I remember my family I got more determined to do it, but when I think of my students I remember something, I have more happy memories. Their happy faces, spent time with them, helping them upgrade and be better, encourage them to follow their dreams.........getting wiped by Tails and having WI-FI in my hoodie. Maybe I have more happy memories that I thought, maybe they were the ones giving me life, maybe, I should not do it. I fell like a horrible selfish person doing this, but I took my decision, I must do it. There is nothing left for me. My students are, I don't want to do it..AAAAAAGH. 

I... I just don't want to do anything evil....but I want to go back to them.... I want to see my sister again....I want to see my parents again.... I want to find myself with Toby, the first and only dog I ever have again.....without them nothing makes sense to me.

I can't avoid crying, that's what I've been doing for a while now. I know what decision I took, and I know how much harm I would cause them.... I must force myself to do it..... I look at the shirt, and photo made and the party, both are happy memories, both are moments I would love to preserve forever.....my decision....the consequences..... I must put an end to this once and for all. 

I put myself in top of a chair, then the gallow is situated around my neck. I am sorry everyone, I wish I could stay and see you grow.

Then the chair is kicked out of the way.

I am sorry..... 

[E̴̙͇̲̹͇͒̈͒̋͛̒͗̓̈́Ŗ̴̥̙͉͓̎̆̈́̈́ͅŖ̴̧̲̭̺̞̮̹̈̉O̴̱̔͒͌̒̈̈́̋̋̇͜R̷͔͆̊̐]

[E̴̙͇̲̹͇͒̈͒̋͛̒͗̓̈́Ŗ̴̥̙͉͓̎̆̈́̈́ͅŖ̴̧̲̭̺̞̮̹̈̉O̴̱̔͒͌̒̈̈́̋̋̇͜R̷͔͆̊̐]

[E̴̙͇̲̹͇͒̈͒̋͛̒͗̓̈́Ŗ̴̥̙͉͓̎̆̈́̈́ͅŖ̴̧̲̭̺̞̮̹̈̉O̴̱̔͒͌̒̈̈́̋̋̇͜R̷͔͆̊̐]

[C̴̝̙̉͌͆́̽̈́͝o̵̮̩̥͌͠͠r̴̡͆̅̇̃̽̽́̾̅̔ȓ̸͚̭̗̙̪ủ̸̫̮̳̮͚͊̋͑p̷̰̠̰̦̟͈̌̀͋̂̊ͅt̶̩̺̐̊͋̑͋͗̚ỉ̵͈̦͔͓̹͓̲͑̂̈̔ọ̷̢̱̹͉̰̟̰̱̔͐̐̐͘͠ͅn̷̼̭̠̳̦̰͑͛͌̽̐̍̿͛̚ ̴̳͔̥̣͙̼͙̦̂̐͗̄͌̀͝d̸̨̮̰̻̳̘̹̟́̈̎̄͊͆͋͝ͅͅe̶͉͖̮̯̗͂͂̐͒̕͜ţ̴̣̳̮̪͐̈̉͋͠ͅe̸͈̼̓̑͑̀̉̈́̉̚͜c̶͖̪̈́̿̆͝t̵̛͓͓̱͖̋̌̍͂͘͝ȇ̷̡̢̯̝̘̱̰̙͙̽͌̕d̷̻̩̽̾̇]

[Ĕ̶̼͖̝͙͚̄͐̃͑̑́̋͠l̵̡̬̗͚̪̓̀̾̎̀̌̓͑͘i̷̦̾̎͌͆̔͝͝m̵͍̙̱̮̅͆̾̒̋͋̆͒̌͝į̴̹̳̞̬̠̪̥͓͋n̴̻̗̱͈͙̯͈͓̾̄̈́͒̑́̚ă̸̧͕͔͙̯͖̣͍̻͘ẗ̷̡͕̲̠́̽̊̿̆͗̈́͐͠͠ĩ̸̩̻̱͗ǫ̷͙̈̿̑̏͑n̷̦͈̮̱̖͊̂͐ͅ ̶͚̣̤̱̤̻̮̙̜̈̀͗͗͜͝ṋ̷̓̅̂͗͆̎͝͠ó̷̬̂̿͘͝t̷̜͛̋̅̐͝ͅ ̷̖̮̻̳̥̄̂͑͒͘̚ͅp̸̡͙͓͈̲̈̽o̸̗̹͈̲̔̊̇s̵̭̐̄͗̍̅͑͂͝s̸̻̹̱̈̀i̴͈̹̭̮͔̍b̶̨̧̞̜͈͔͌̓̅̆̅l̴̥̪͕͖̲̗̗̙̔̐̉͒͒̈̆̔̍ͅe̴̡̨̲̙̯̽̿̂̔̃͌̕͠]

[F̶̛̟̻̣̼͉̙͈͖̪̅̋̈́̓̈́̚͘ǫ̷̡͉́͗̾̔͑̔͘r̵̢͕͉͍̓̊̔̇͜c̷̢͈͉͓̘͉̮͇̏̔̕͝ͅï̵̳̲̭̬̤͎̀n̶̺̼̪̣̖͕̗̗̩͌̈́̿̆̎̀̌̏̀̓͜g̸̬͕͓͙̾̃̿̃͌ ̸̡͖̪͎̣̺̌͑͝r̶̼͒̆̿̎͂̄͗̏̏e̵͙̪̩̒̏b̴̮̗̘̰̮͗̀̍̈͝ớ̸̦̰̳͆̽͂͌͝ȯ̸̗̲̮̼͓̮̝̗̿̇͛t̸̲͔̘̜͇͐̈́͌͌̓͜]

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