Chapter 29: Vol 2 – Chapter 9 – Girl Talk

“Close the door behind them, please.” Carmilla requested. 

I did as she asked and closed the door as the boys had stopped and looked back in confusion. Duncan didn’t seem surprised by this turn of events and was still walking away. 

With the door shut, I turned back to Carmilla, who, now that we had some privacy from the men, was removing her armor. She had already tossed her gauntlets onto her bed and was unbuckling her chest plate. 

“Give me a hand, will ya?”

Ya?

I hopped over at her request and started loosening and unbuckling straps that she either pointed or tugged at. 

Within a few minutes, we had all her equipment stripped off and set aside. She then started stripping out of some of her protective leathers and padding and her body seemed to exhale more than just the weight of the armor away. While she was taking the moment to relax, I decided to take in the woman before me. 

I hadn’t been wrong about my assumptions of what she would look like underneath the armor. Her tanned body looked like hardened steel, and she looked like she could dent a shield with a deft punch. While lifting off some of her equipment, I had glimpsed some of the bare body beneath. She had abs to die for and her muscular arms and legs had even me a little jealous. Even as Amelia, I was certain I couldn’t have gone toe-to-toe with her in a test of strength. She wasn’t body builder muscular like her brother or Duncan, but still took great care with her physical training regimen. 

Once she had completely removed all her equipment, she fully extended her limbs in a stretch, standing on her tippy toes. She was now just wearing a loose, low-cut shirt that exposed her midriff and some tight-fitting cotton shorts that came about halfway to her knees and left little to the imagination. I realized I was blushing a bit as she caught me staring and grinned at me. 

“Gotta keep myself sculpted a special way to keep up with the menfolk. They think they can just flex their muscles and we’ll swoon all over ‘em?” She then struck a power pose and flexed both her arms for show. “It’s fun to watch them wilt a bit when they realize they don’t measure up.”

I stood there with a puzzled expression on my face. Who was this more relaxed woman before me? She was more carefree and less polished with her body language. Even her manners were looser. 

She noticed my pause, put her hands on her hips and pouted, “What? Do I need to be the proper Commander around you too?” And just like that, she shifted. 

Everything. 

Her posture was back. Her face was sharper, her eyes focused and studying me. When next she spoke, her authoritative tone had also returned, her words crisp. 

“I thought, as girls, we could be who we are, and not who the men want us to be. It seems I was mistaken. If it is easier to hold a conversation with me as your superior, I can abide by those wishes. I only requested you stay behind in hopes you would also share with me the woman you are forced to hide.”

She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall next to her bed, obvious hurt and disappointment crossing her face. 

I quickly found words again and rushed to reassure her she had merely caught me off guard. “No, no! We can be ourselves with each other! In fact, you’re right that it would be nice to relax! You just caught me off guard when you dropped your own. I didn’t know how to respond or how to talk with you!” I stammered out.

Again, the smile returned, but she remained the proper woman who commanded the respect of her men.

“It pleases me to hear that, Amelia. I look forward to getting to know you better, but if it does make you more comfortable while we are still becoming friends, I will make an effort to keep my composure.” 

Then she gave a sly wink, “For now.”

She then clapped her hands and declared, “I need a drink!”

She pushed off the wall and sauntered over to a bookcase to pull at a group of books on the topmost shelf. Imagine my small surprise, when the books came off the shelf as one, and were hollow. Carmilla pulled a small flask from the hidey hole, tossed the books aside and took a deep swig. She then squeezed her eyes shut and made a grimaced face like she had just sucked on a lemon.

She pounded on her chest with a fist and finally gasped out, “Perfect! I hadn’t been able to get a moment to myself to relax and get some personal time since I got here!” She offered me a drink, which I declined. If I was about to have some heart to heart with the commander of the fort, I wanted to make sure she wasn’t holding back my hair later. 

“As you wish. Just means more for me.” 

She pulled out a chair to sit down and motioned for me to do the same. I sat and wasn’t sure where she wanted to begin.

“Alright Amelia, spill. Who exactly are you that has you endorsed by the General and rubbing elbows with the four sons? I would imagine a betrothal to one of them but, and I don’t mean this in a negative way, you don’t seem their type.”

I chuckled a little to myself and merely stated, “Yeah, they aren’t my type either.”

Carmilla flung her head back in an uproarious laugh. “Yes, each of them does have an acquired taste, don’t they?” She was smiling, amused that I would be so bold as to imply I had no interest in even royalty. 

And I mean, I wasn’t interested. Right? Chad and I had kissed, and I hadn’t hated it. But since then, he hadn’t made any further efforts to act on our lakeside moment. But to be fair, I also had been keeping my distance. I hadn’t made any efforts to really talk to him and had avoided eye contact when he had been around. 

As for Dorian and Ash, well Dorian would hit on anything that moved and Ash was sweet and wonderful but…

Carmilla caught me daydreaming and winked. “An acquired taste that maybe you are now realizing is to your liking.” 

She then leaned back in her chair and stretched again before crossing her long bare legs. “Well, as long as one of those tastes isn’t my good-for-nothing brother out there.” Her face took on a look of warning. “He may have the ability to charm you out of your pants and make no mistake you wouldn’t be the first to fall for his charms, but I’d warn you against it. He’ll just leave you with heartache. Be careful around him.”

“As I’ve been warned before, frequently.” I replied. 

She smiled, glad to hear that someone appeared to be looking out for me at least. “None of this tells me who you are, however.”

I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. Where to begin?

I decided that I had seen enough of her character to trust her with the truth. Like Noelle, she was headstrong and had fought for every inch she had gained. A story about a girl from an unknown world brought here as a star by the Goddess probably wouldn’t throw her into an uproar and end up with me imprisoned for heresy. 

So, I told her everything: 

My origin as the star and my original form crafted by the Goddess. Meeting Ash’s family and the time spent in Bronzemead. Meeting Dorian and Chad, and then training with them and Noelle. She sat enraptured as I regaled her with the tournament, clapping enthusiastically with my retellings of my victories over Dorian and Chad. She almost choked on her drink when I got to the part where I’d punched Dorian in the crotch and snorted with laughter when I had slapped him upside his head with his own weapon. 

“I’ve known Dorian a long time and trust me when I say that this Noelle friend of yours was right. Something like that has been a long time coming!”

My victory over Chad had her impressed. Despite not being an heir to the Zannister line, she explained she was still in the same circles as the boys. And as I had learned before that they knew and had rivalries with each other growing up, so too did she have her own personal vendettas with them. She had sparred with Chad on several occasions when she was younger and had yet to best him. Time had since separated them and they had not fought in many years, but she was proud to hear a woman had brought him defeat at last. 

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“Sounds like I have some catching up to do!” she exclaimed, and I knew that I had earned some respect from this great warrior. I’d be surprised if Chad didn’t get a summons to a challenge when this was all over with.

She beamed with pride at learning of Noelle’s ownership of the Wish, and then quickly shifted to concern at my retelling of losing contact with the Goddess. I then skipped ahead to our arrival at Monera and my audience with the King, to which Carmilla’s expression turned bitter. 

“That man!” she spat. “If I never have to have an audience with him again, I will lose no sleep over it. His poor queen and children! Just pawns in his game! I am sorry to hear how you were treated in his presence. A king of men should be better.”

I silently agreed but knew the most difficult moment of my story was to come. I sadly then told her of the loss of my sword, and then meeting Obarith in the flesh, and my transformation. It taken all I had to keep my eyes dry. So much had happened since then, I hadn’t really had a moment to dwell heavily on how much those events had affected me in the days since. I was reminded every day that I was no longer Amelia, but to recall the event that caused my latest struggles was harder than I had thought it would be.

Carmilla sensed my discomfort and leaned over to rub my arm with a warm, rough hand. 

“Amelia… you have been through so much in so little time. And yet Prince Maximillion is right. Duncan too. You may have lost what you thought was something you hadn’t earned or wasn’t who you truly were. But trust me when I also say that I see this warrior in you. The one who turned a village on it’s head and defeated the prince in combat? Who marched into the Black Hills, knowing the danger, and faced down a ambush of thralls in enemy territory? And killed one?”

She pulled me in for a bear hug and held me close.

“You may not look like the women from your story, but make no mistake, that woman is a reflection of the strength in your heart and soul.”

We parted but she still leaned close, studying me with her warm red eyes. They were like a smoldering fire, warm and comforting in the darkest of places, but also with the threat of roaring to life at a moment’s notice. So different from Kit’s, and yet with the same dangerous potential. 

I cleared my throat and decided it was time for Carmilla to share. “Well, enough about me and how I got here! Now it’s your turn, Commander. Spill! I haven’t been in Eitania long, but I know enough that seeing a woman of your rank in the military is more impressive than my sad tale!”

Her expression turned to sadness, and she slumped back in her chair, taking another drink.

“I promise, you’ll be disappointed. I’d rather live a dozen of your lifetimes if they contained such excitement rather than my own.” 

Carmilla was the firstborn of the eldest Zannister. Her father was the first of five, with a middle sister and three younger brothers. Her birth was not the first among the siblings, but as her father was the eldest, his firstborn would still be the heir of the Zannister house, and eventual leader of the kingdom’s military. Second only to the Chadwicks, the Zannisters were the most influential family in the kingdom, since, through their God of Light they descended from, they embodied the virtues of justice and discipline.

Unlike the Chadwick’s however, Zannisters didn’t always bear males. Women were just as common, though it had been some time since the heir of the Zannister line had born a female as his first born. To hear Carmilla spin it, fate was momentarily cruel, and she was born to a family that did not want her. Her birth was even whispered to be an ill omen on the house, and her father moved quickly to rectify his heir situation. Kit was born shortly after and was immediately rallied behind by the family, including his uncles and aunt, and Carmilla was forgotten. 

But then, when Kit was still very young, he was stolen away by his uncle who had married into the family. I let Carmilla know Dorian had already told me this tale, and she reinforced that it was all true. Kit had been whisked away and, after a year of no leads, had been declared dead. Her father bore another son and he was declared the next heir. Carmilla had been nine at this time in her life, and decided that, rather than wallow in the cards fate had dealt her, she would do her best to earn the family’s respect.

She met Duncan on one of the family’s trips to the castle and, through his vigorous training and recommendations to the right people, entered the military at 16. By the time she was 18 and her father was ready to marry her for political gain, she had already proven her worth in the military’s ranks and Duncan had been able to pull strings to keep her from losing her career. However, with Kit’s rediscovery three years ago, and his re-establishment as their heir, her father now had his “heir and the spare” in her two younger brothers, and his interest in her military prowess was rapidly decreasing. 

She was now 24, with eight years as a Zannister in the army under her belt. Throughout that time, she still struggled to get due recognition and had finally been granted captain at the insignificant posting that Kit had mentioned, before being unexpectedly elevated to this posting at Blackwall. 

“Now, I finally get this illustrious posting and get a chance to prove my worth to the family, only for this mess of vampires to show up. It’s a double-edged sword for me, Amelia. On one hand, it gives me a viable threat to show I am capable of handling. But on the other, all eyes are on this situation and the one who is running the mission. Any outcome deemed a failure, and I can be used as a scapegoat. It would be the final straw Father would need and would be the end of my dreams and control of my destiny.”

She slumped deeper into the chair, and she again looked like she bore the weight of her armor on her shoulders.

“I’d be discharged and married off. And at my age, it won’t be a glorious pairing. I’ll be lucky to get a man who isn’t my father’s age and was just interested in a younger mare to strap on his arm and to his bed.” At this she winced and took another deep swig of her drink. 

I wanted to change the subject a bit and asked her about Kit some more.

“So, what is up with you and Kit? I’ve only known him a week and have seen him enjoy rubbing people the wrong way, but he seemed especially interested in pushing your buttons.”

She rolled her eyes and tossed her hands in the air.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Am I bitter about him and the life and support he’s been gifted, despite him pissing it all away? Of course! I love my brother, and was glad to see his return, but his lack of interest in his calling is frustrating. He has been lavished with opportunity after opportunity, despite his past and his current misgivings, and yet he tosses it all aside for money and female company!”

At that, her face twisted angrily.

“I’ve sacrificed my entire life to earn only a fraction of what he has an opportunity to seize. I don’t even think I have a real friend in this world, let alone have had a boy or man who I cared enough about to fantasize having a future with them. Every man I have come across has either been terrified of me or has treated me with hatred and jealousy. Despicable, the lot of them!”

“It sounds like you and Duncan at least have a pleasant history?”

She weakly smiled, “Duncan is like a father to me. Everything I have and everything I continue to do is thanks to him. Everything I achieve is in attempts to make him proud and not regret taking me in as a student. He’s not unlike a diamond among lumps of coal, giving you hope that more diamonds exist in the bleak pile.”

She collapsed back in her chair and emptied her flask. “I have yet to find any like him, before or since…” she muttered.

“I know the feeling.” I added. “In Bronzemead, it was more of the same. Ash’s father also took me in and treated me like family. He helped curb many of the initial negative experiences I had with the men in this world. I second your experiences: they are either fearful or filled with hate.”

We sat in sullen silence for a moment before Carmilla slapped the table lightly and stood.

“Well, I hope I can now say I have a confidant in you, Amelia! We are cut from the same cloth and have the same goals, and it would be my honor to call you friend.” She extended a hand, which I took as I stood, and we shook before embracing again.

She then patted me on the shoulder, “Alright, off with you. You need to get some food and rest up for tomorrow, as do I. I also still need to speak with Duncan about tomorrow’s plans, and I don’t wish to keep him waiting.”

I smiled and gave her another quick hug, missing this kind of camaraderie since leaving Noelle weeks ago. “We are friends, Carmilla. We are. I would have hoped for nothing less.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I turned and left the room and decided it was also time to talk to Chad. I looked for him for a good hour, with no luck. No one seemed to know where he was or had seen him recently. It was like he had disappeared. After the heart to heart with Carmilla, I was in the right frame of mind to attempt to reconnect with him on the same emotional level that we’d had at the lake. I needed to at least begin to sort out my feelings about our kiss and connection and see if there was indeed more to it, both for me and for him.

But he was gone. There were so few women soldiers at the fort that the barracks were shared, and he wasn’t at his assigned bunk for our visit near our own. There were a couple of places he likely could have gone that, as a girl, I had no desire to venture into, but I loitered around them long enough and when he did not appear, I ruled those out as well. 

Where was he?

Eventually, my stomach was noisy enough that I was getting odd looks from passersby, and I consigned myself that our conversation would have to continue to wait. I turned and made my way to the dining hall for dinner. Maybe I could catch him after dinner and before bedtime, when the stars were out, and the moons were bright? I dreamily imagined another clear night setting a romantic mood, before my hunger for food overpowered my brain, and instead of Chad coming around a tree to meet me at the water’s edge, it was a tasty hot turkey leg calling my name.

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