Chapter 4: Three

“I thought I was going to die there,” Maria muttered while she dried her damp hair with the towel Theo passed to her. “She asked me if I would like to take a bath, and the moment I said ‘yes’, she dunked me into the well…” 

“That babushka is off her rockers ever since she lost her husband, don’t worry about it.” Theo produced a box of wooden matches from his pocket, removed one, and struck it against the side of the matchbox to ignite its flame. A strong phosphorus smell immediately filled the air, causing Maria to cough. 

Xavier gave him a sidelong glance to convey his disapproval. “If you want to smoke, at least do it outside.” 

“Do I look like I have the wherewithal to smoke?” Replying sarcastically, he used the burning matchstick to light the wick of a red candlestick and held the candle over the bottom right corner of a fake invitation. 

“Then, what are you doing?” Maria asked curiously. 

“Forging the royal family’s wax seal,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “The Prime Minister’s signature and the wax seal of the King comes as a pair on every official document—having one but not the other is a grave mistake no experienced forger should commit. But of course, if the palace guards really scrutinised the seal, they’ll probably be able to tell that it’s a fake.”

“Are you two that desperate to enter the palace to see Princess Anastasia in person?” she asked, confused as to why they would go to such lengths that they even forged their invitation letters. 

“Hey, children shouldn’t ask too many questions,” Xavier said with a laugh. “Anyways, it’s getting late, isn’t it? Your wounds should be fine now, so don’t you need to get home soon?”

“...” Maria hesitated before shifting her gaze on the wooden floorboards beneath her bruised feet. “I-I left all my wares at the main square, and if I return home empty-handed, Mother will…” 

“It’s okay, see, Big brother has something for you.” He produced the pair of black leather gloves the Grand Duke’s brat left behind and placed them in her palms. “Sell this to a pawnshop on the way home. You’ll definitely get enough money to last you and your family for a while.” 

“B-but—”

“There’s no need to be polite, we’re all in the same circumstances here.”  

Theo shot him a glance that said ‘are you serious, we need the money more than her’, but he ignored him and urged Maria to take the gloves. 

“T-thank you, Big brother Xavier. I’ll definitely repay this kindness when we meet again!” Her glistening eyes smiled and she bowed before running out of the room. 

“Maria sure talks more maturely than she looks, don’t you agree?” Xavier remarked, watching her small figure skipping along the path back to the capital. 

Theo grunted in response as he pressed the seal firmly into the molten red wax. “I sure hope she doesn’t report us to the authorities.” 

“Even if she did, they won’t believe the words of a child.” He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. “It’s about time we collect our order from the tailor, you know.”

“I’m aware of that, but I still need some time for the wax seals to settle.” 

“By the way, the boss requested us to go as a coupleas in, either Theo or Xavier has to crossdress as a female. We all know who's the lucky guy here. this time round too.” He gave a light cough and smiled at Theo. “Are you mentally prepared to wear the gown?” 

“You—who said I’ll be the one playing the role of the maiden this time, huh?” Theo scoffed and pointed a finger at him. “Have you perchance forgotten that I did the crossdressing at the previous gala in Maripol? We agreed then that it’d be your turn to do it next!”

“Oh, but you see,” he replied in a faux high-pitched voice and batted his eyelashes. “I am convinced that Theo has a more feminine side to him than I, so it’s better—” 

“Stop trying to sweet talk your way out, you coward!”

 

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The tailor shop, a family-owned business run by a father-daughter pair, was located along the busy main street of the capital; hence it always had a steady flow of customers throughout the day. Furthermore, it was one of the few shops in the empire which had received a royal warrant from the King—a mark of recognition for their excellent fabric quality and craftsmanship—making it a popular choice among the nobles heading to the grand palace. 

To Theo, it was strange that Xavier was able to even place an order at that particular shop—let alone requesting for a priority order, meaning that their dresses would be the first to be sewn by the tailor. 

“Ah, the gentleman from the clergy has finally arrived!” The tailor’s amicable daughter instantly recognised Xavier’s face and waved at him happily. “Your order of one men’s morning coat with a dark waistcoat and striped trousers, and one women’s ball gown with a corset and petticoat is right over here, kind Sir. Please allow me a minute to sort everything for your convenience.” 

He made a gesture of tipping his top hat in gratitude, nothing more. As a high-ranking official of the Church, there was no need for someone of his status to personally deal with commoners, so the very fact that he had gone down to their shop in person was a great honour to the daughter. 

Within thirty seconds, everything was neatly arranged and packed in two large brown paper bags. The daughter offered to help him carry the bags to his lodging, but the gentleman adamantly refused and thanked her for her exceptional service. 

“O-on behalf of my father, I humbly thank you for your patronage. We are beyond grateful to be graced by the Church’s presence, praise be the Lord!” She bowed her head deeply, and remained like that even after the gentleman had left the store.

“What in the world did you do?” Theo hurriedly asked once Xavier slipped into the back alley where he had been waiting. “You practically made the tailor’s daughter your personal servant!” 

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“If I can’t do that, I won’t have any grounds to call myself a conman.” He took off the uncomfortable top hat and shook free his hair slick with sweat. “I did a little investigating and found out that the tailor of this shop hasn’t been feeling well lately. It was just a simple matter of convincing his daughter that the Church would specially pray for her father’s health if she helped me process my order as quickly as possible.”

“And you have the audacity to reproach me for sneaking into the babushka’s chamber…” 

Xavier pretended he didn’t hear Theo’s scathing remark and tossed him his bag of clothes. “Get changed, we have to be at the entrance of the grand palace in less than two hours.”

 

---

 

Truth to be told, the entire premise given by the boss behind having one of them to crossdress was sheer stupid in Xavier’s mind: “it’d make you two stand up too much if you showed up to the ballroom as a pair of men instead of a couple.” But since the boss’ instructions were absolute, he reluctantly donned the wig of blonde hair on his head. 

Well, it wasn’t as though he couldn’t get used to the airy feeling all up on his legs. Being a conman meant that he had to be most adaptable in the prickliest situations, and he suspected a small part of him actually found crossdressing fun as he swished the flowing ball gown around his legs. 

“Apply a thin layer of foundation first…then powder blush on the cheeks…” He struggled to read the fashion magazine as he bent over the vanity table in the boutique. 

The store assistant, a young demure lady who was well-versed in the latest trends in the capital, heard his mutters and approached him with a customer service smile. “Miss, how can I be of service to you?” 

“Ah, yes, thank you so much.” He gestured at the vanity table. “Can you help guide me on my makeup? It’s been so long since I touched cosmetics, I’m afraid I have lost my touch, hehe~” 

“What kind of foundation are you looking for, Miss?” The lady picked up a few bottles and presented them to him. “We have a variety of liquid, powder, or cream types here, which one is to your liking? Do you prefer natural skin tones or clear? How would you like it applied?” 

“Ah-haa, I see…” 

Theo was already waiting for him by the roadside when he finally stumbled out of the boutique, with the assistant cheerfully shouting ‘thank you for your patronage!’ behind him. He doffed his top hat to him, and with a suppressed snicker asked, “how are you on this fine afternoon, milady?” 

Though, he had to admit that the boutique did an amazing job of transforming poor Xavier into a proper young noble lady—none of the details in his hairstyle, facial makeup and layered ball gown were overlooked in the slightest. The beautician even applied makeup to his chest area to create the illusion of a bountiful bosom, he noted with a wry smile.

“Shut up. Please.” Xavier tried to bend down to adjust his high heels, but the tight corset around his waist nearly squeezed all the air out of him, so he had no choice but to shuffle his feet on the cobblestones in small delicate steps. 

Noticing his ladylike gait, Theo couldn’t help but add a remark. “As expected of a conman, you do really know how to act the part.”

“I’m going to glue your lips shut if you utter any further unnecessary comments.” 

It was customary for nobles to arrive at the grand palace by carriage, so they hailed one along the main street. Theo, in accordance to his role as a feudal baron of the empire, opened the door to the carriage for his Lady and graciously helped Xavier climb the narrow steps. 

“Please make it quick,” he instructed the coachman in a sharp, snappy voice after paying him a handsome tip. 

With an eager nod of understanding, the coachman shook out the reins and spurred the horses into motion. 

“Those are fake doubloons, aren’t they?” Xavier murmured as he settled on the bench across him. 

“Duh, where else can I find fifty doubloons from?” Theo reached into his black coat and pulled out a familiar folded piece of paper. “Just in case, let’s run through the plan once more.” 

Xavier nodded his head and unfolded the paper, spreading it on his lap. Before him was the crude sketch of the palace’s layout which the boss had provided them with, complete with rough estimates for the guards’ shift timings and routes.

“If our predictions are correct, the King will announce the coronation of Princess Anastasia during the birthday ceremony, most likely sometime after dusk when all the guests have gathered.” He circled his finger over the main hall, which was labelled on the piano nobileItalian for 'noble floor'. It refers to the second floor of a palace..

“We’ll have to exit via the side doors, incapacitate the guards standing around the back terrace and intercept the coronation regalia on its way from the royal safe to the hall.” Theo folded his arms and smiled wryly. “If we can pull off this heist, we’re going to be famous nationwide as the pair who stole the Crown Jewels of Aetherium!”

“Not nationwide, my dear friend—worldwide!” Xavier grinned. “But first, we must accomplish all that in ten minutes or less; or this shall be our last conversation before we are executed for treason.”

“The same goes if we failed any of our past ventures, though?” Theo chuckled, resting his cane across his lap. “Us mercenaries don’t live long anyways, might as well live the remaining time we have to its fullest.” 

“Right, we might as well, huh.” Through gaps in between the passing buildings, he caught sight of a pristine white castle sitting atop a hill in the center of the capital, with six towers, each topped by a tall spire, that proudly flew the empire’s banners. 

Perhaps because the sky against it was overcast, the grand palace gave off a foreboding aura when he looked at it.

 

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