Chapter 210: Chapter 209: Uncompromising Selfishness

Iris pressed her right hand on the protective glass of the tank. The azure liquid inside it had the same shade as her slime as if a part of her embraced the corpse, watched over the dead, and studied the end of life. The chill of the tank and the liquid pierced her palm, tickling her fingertips. She turned to Ludmint.

Ludmint looked groundward, unable to meet her lover’s gaze. She knew Iris would question her, feel disappointed in her, and demand an explanation. She could’ve hidden it forever, but she wouldn’t lie to Iris, not when it wasn’t for Iris’s sake.

“You wanted me to praise you?” Iris said. “You lied to me.”

“I planned to tell you before the proposal, but I got impatient; it feels like you’d vanish if I ever looked away.”

Iris looked at the corpse. “He’s a cultist, a murderer, isn’t he?”

“But he’s still a human. I shouldn’t have done it, should I?”

“If I beseeched you, would you stop?”

Ludmint tilted her head down, clenching her fists. Even if Iris threatened to end their relationship, she would hesitate. Her affection for Iris was irreplaceable, but so was her promise.

While Ludmint tortured herself, Iris pointed at the corpse. Her Corruption Power, morphing into Holy Power, formed a spear of light. She launched it at the preservation tank. It passed through the protective glass and penetrated the corpse.

Symbols etched on his skin shimmered, turning crimson and purple. The Corruption and Evil Powers within his body ruptured, their balance thwarted. The spear punctured his stomach before dissolving into golden sparks, which assimilated into his pale body.

As the three powers fought, destroying the body in the process, Iris turned to her side. Ludmint just stood there, watching her experiment reduced to nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Ludmint said. “I won’t stop you if you wish to destroy everything.”

“You lied to me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I want the truth.”

Ludmint tightened her chest. “I want to know why only women may Fall. I want to know why our path ends before the Ascension. I . . . want to reunite with my brother.”

“You lied to me, but I’ll forgive you.” Iris beamed. “As your fiancée, I must help you, even if I don’t want to.”

Ludmint blinked. “You will help me?”

“They’re hindering your progress. Only the living is worth studying.”

“You . . . don’t hate that I experiment on humans?”

“They’re monsters in human skins. Recycling them for research is better than wasting them.”

“Iris, you’re colder than I expect.”

Iris glared at Ludmint. “I’m not the one torturing them for my desires.”

“I . . . I want to say that I’m doing this for us, but I’d be lying to you, to myself.” Ludmint sighed. “Although it’d benefit me and you and all of us, my goal is the Monsterisation of men. I want my brother back. I want him to know I’m still here.”

“I could’ve helped.”

“I know you well enough, Iris. You’d never agree. You’d try to talk me out of it.”

“And I know you well enough that my words wouldn’t change anything.” Iris reached out her right hand. “I can only help. I’m your fiancée, after all.”

Ludmint took Iris’s hand and kissed it. “I love you, Iris.”

“Guilt, isn’t it painful? Tell me where your brother is and how to find him.”

After leading Iris to the study table, Ludmint confessed what she knew about Halinant, that he was the Commander of the Second Army, whose area of influence resided near the border. He rarely returned to Donhalgen or appeared near Jenkin or other offshore cities. She could only track his location through Mecalia, the senior member of The Court who presided over the kingdom’s border.

“How long have you been trying?” Iris said.

“I’ve been here every day since I built this place, three years ago.”

“How far have you progressed?”

Taking a deep breath, Ludmint lowered her head. She had moved quite a distance from the beginning, where she couldn’t even force the Corruption Power to exist with the Evil Power, but the winding path was endless, the goal perpetually out of sight.

Though she could temporarily mix different powers within one container, she couldn’t find a way to make them compatible. The equilibrium was transient, the collapse inevitable. If she failed to overcome this restriction, she’d fail to bring her brother to this side.

Maybe Iris could help her?

Knowing Ludmint’s thought, Iris shook her head. She took a piece of paper from a pile of discarded material and drew, with her slimy finger, a small yet intricate spell formation. Her azure Corruption Power followed the drawn lines and glimmered as if alive. It changed its composition, turning to Holy Power, and reverted to Corruption Power, repeating the movement in a loop.

Iris handed the paper to Ludmint, who carefully accepted it. Ludmint opened her mouth, but Iris placed her index finger on her lips, smiling.

“I can’t donate my body for science, but I can still help you.” Iris licked her fingers. “A price must be paid, no matter how small.”

“I can donate my body.”

“Already mine.”

“Another ring?”

“Too valuable. I’ll decide what kind of favour when I need one.”

“I can give you one now.”

Ludmint pulled down her right shoulder strap and tilted her head flirtatiously. Her right hand grasped Iris’s left, her other hand caressing Iris’s neck. She leaned forward, and the tip of her nose touched Iris’s. The warm, misty breaths, exhaling from her slightly open mouth, muddled the air. She slithered out her tongue.

“Your achievement is getting destroyed, yet you still focus on this?” Iris pinched Ludmint’s left cheek. “I’ll still punish you no matter how you please me.”

“Can’t it be that I, your fiancée, want to please you?”

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“You can’t help it. Your every move is calculated, devious, and effective. Your mentor must have taught you a lot. A lot.”

Blushing, Ludmint leaned away from Iris. She buried her head in the paper Iris gave her, studying it. Her eyes occasionally peeked at Iris, who got up and walked around the laboratory. Iris quietly toured the lab and observed the few captured and sedated cultists, whose bodies pulsated as the Corruption and Evil Powers simmered within their flesh.

Though impermanent, the equilibrium existed. With complicated procedures and preparations, the two powers could coexist and even merge. Iris carefully studied this groundbreaking experiment and compared her instinctive method to it. She couldn’t comprehend the mechanism underlying the brief compatibility.

Something fundamental changed during the process, but her mortal mind couldn’t catch it. Even the fragmented knowledge bestowed by The Lord couldn’t fill the gap.

A mortal could never comprehend the design of the Transcendent. A mortal could never break the shackle bound by the world itself.

A mortal could only struggle against Fate. Either they changed their Destiny or died trying.

“What if it’s possible?” Iris said. “After you found a way to reunite with your brother, what would you do?”

“You’ll be the first to learn of it, then the Court Founder, and the rest of the board.”

“The moment this knowledge is made known is the moment we cease to exist. Our annihilation will involve the Legendary or even the Divine Avatars.”

“Only the board will learn of this.” Ludmint looked toward the ceiling and reached her hand upward. “It’ll be beneficial to you too.”

“It could help me reach the Legendary Realm.”

“You’d have to protect me and my brother by then.”

Iris laughed. She walked to Ludmint and massaged her shoulders gently. Her slimy fingers tainted Ludmint’s dress, but Ludmint feinted oblivion. As Iris nudged her lover’s right cheek with hers, Ludmint pursed her lips, sealed her heart, and continued to study the ever-changing power.

“This obsession will kill you,” Iris said. “It’ll also kill your brother.”

“You’ll save us.”

“I’ll only save you.”

“He’s a part of me, my family.”

Iris lifted her hands from Ludmint, turned around, and sauntered away. “I’ve failed once. I can’t revive the dead.”

Ludmint got up, frowning. “He isn’t dead. He won’t be. He’ll become one of us.”

Iris stopped in her track. A sigh escaped her, and she suppressed her desire to turn around and pour out her thoughts. She carefully inhaled, exhaled, and pointed at the ceiling, at the sky, at the invisible firmament enveloping the world.

“Throughout history, none succeeds. How are you different?”

“Failing is better than regretting.”

“Living is better than dying.”

“Dying with family is better than living alone.”

Iris turned to face Ludmint and narrowed her eyes. “Is that what your brother wants?”

Ludmint stared into Iris’s eyes. “He’ll listen to his sister.”

“You’re no longer his sister. You’re a Monster Girl.”

Cold air pervaded the laboratory, turning Iris’s slimy membrane pale. She broke the eye contact, clenched her fists, held her breath, and stiffened her chest, yet she couldn’t stop feeling Ludmint’s complicated gaze invading her body, prying her heart open.

She didn’t want to lie or crush Ludmint’s hope without any explanation, but she couldn’t explain anything. Her secrets must stay with her, buried beneath her, locked inside her. The transcendental blades should only hang over her, not those whom she treasured.

Sensing Iris’s unreadable emotions, Ludmint dropped the topic, shifting her focus to the note in her hand. She stroked the lines and felt the magic grazing her skin, though she failed to concentrate. Iris rarely got emotional, and the only things that could upset her would be the matter relating to her past and her dear family.

Ludmint’s figure vanished. She manifested behind Iris and hugged her. Her arms gradually wrapped around her beloved, who trembled but didn’t resist. She nuzzled Iris’s face and caressed Iris’s clenched fists.

“I’m not mad,” she said. “You’re just worried.”

“I shouldn’t have said it.”

“You thought I’d get hurt.” Ludmint tightened her hug. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

Her eyes reddening, Iris slipped out of Ludmint’s grasp. Her slime body, tainted with embarrassing pink dots, quivered. She kept her face away from Ludmint while suppressing her tears. The hanging chains above her swayed and knocked on each other, echoing muffled noises which sounded to her like screeching of the damned.

She turned around, staring resolutely at her Ludmint. “Promise me, Ludmint: you won’t risk your life, even if it were for your brother.”

Ludmint fell silent. Her silvery, moon-like eyes expressed an array of suppressed emotions, all of which could only hint at her guilt. “He’s my brother.”

Iris heaved a sigh. She went back to her seat and talked about her process of morphing Corruption Power into Holy Power and Evil Power. Though she relied mostly on instinct, her experience gave Ludmint much-needed inspiration, but Ludmint wasn’t too excited about the discussion. She kept asking Iris mundane topics, trying to lift the mood. Iris only answered in polite tones and returned to the research.

The lonely discussion continued until Iris exhausted herself. Led by Ludmint, she left the secret laboratory and returned to the cosy house. The meal she prepared had already gone cold, and the evening sky had already turned dark. She didn’t complain as she ate the food. Ludmint, peeking at Iris’s emotionless yet sorrowful face, failed to find any word to soothe her.

What Iris wanted, she couldn’t give. Her brother was irreplaceable, just like Iris.

She couldn’t choose. She didn’t want to choose. She mustn’t choose.

Once the dinner ended, Iris excused herself to her bedroom. She cleansed her body using magic, changed into her pyjamas, and lay on her bed with her arms and legs spread.

She stared at the door, on which Ludmint was leaning. The two knew each other’s thoughts, yet they couldn’t compromise. Ludmint tapped on the door once, said her good night, and walked away. Her muffled footsteps dribbled into the quiet, dreary bedroom, giving Iris an urge to rush out and embrace Ludmint and tell her to sleep together.

Iris crutched her chest. She pushed her head against her pillow and closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

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