Chapter 22: Chapter 22: Hurt Just the Same

Pallorn felt conflicted. Hesitation plagued her mind as she half-heartedly swung her sword at the Mud Girl in front of her, slower and weaker than usual. She stared at Tardi, who playfully shifted her body around, letting the blade cut through her mud and tainting it with dark brown soil, not caring about the cosmetic damage. As long as her core was safe, she would remain standing.

"Why won’t you return?" Pallorn said, her voice peaking, cracking in pain. She restrained herself from using any holy spell or from piercing Tardi's core, afraid that she would get hurt and shatter into countless pieces. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Then please stopping hurting me." Tardi abruptly stopped moving and closed her eyes. "I also miss you, you know?"

Shaken, Pallorn suddenly lost control of her strength and slashed the sword too fast, creating a cut through the air, which seared the vapours into streams. The blade rushed towards Tardi's head, but she remained motionless, her eyes still closed, smiling. Her unwavering trust in her sister caused Pallorn's heart to ache.

Before it was too late, Pallorn tensed her muscles and diverted her strike, almost breaking her hands as she flung the sword away. It glided through the air and landed a distance away, unable to harm Tardi any further. She almost killed her sister, her only sister whom she had been searching for half of her life.

Hearing the metallic sound, Tardi gradually opened her eyes. She turned to the sword on the side then at Pallorn, who retreated away, not from caution but guilt. Her expression distorted in a mixture of relief, pain, and distress. The tender brown irises glittered as tears silently built up.

"You're still in there, right?" Pallorn said. "Then come back, please. I promise I won't leave you anymore."

"After you vowed never to see me again? Sis, did fame and wealth bring you happiness? You look so majestic and pretty, that someone bitter and dirty like me can't hope to come close.”

Tardi stepped backwards. Her dull eyes glimpsed at the sorrow inside her sister. At first, she merely wished to tease her sister, but her resentful heart spewed out venomous emotions she kept tightly in her chest. Conflicted, she couldn’t keep her mouth close. Her sister had to know her pain.

"I was wrong, foolishly wrong. So, Tulin, please give me another chance. We are sisters, right?" Pallorn said.

She walked forwards, trying to reach Tardi, but the past haunted her, dragging her body to a still, turning the ground into quicksand. Every step forward was a betray of her faith, the faith that had kept her alive and hopeful since the day she fell into despair. Without it, she was vulnerable, but if she sheltered herself inside it, her sister would be alone again.

"This body isn't human anymore. It disgusts you," Tardi said. "I've decided to change. I am Tardi, a Monster Girl. Can you still look at me tenderly, hug me softly, and love me dearly, just like before?"

"But you are still you, Tardi or Tulin. You still have your memory, and your feelings are the same. How can I ever hate you, when I only have you?" By speaking, Pallorn diverted her attention from her internal pain and took another step forward.

"Then why did you leave me that day? If our familial bond can't last when I was a human, how can it last when I'm not even a human anymore?" Tardi deliberately took another step backwards. Her voice trembled as the words infused with her anger came out of her heart. "I don't want to risk it ever again. Can I just stay with my new family?"

"New family?" Pallorn said and thought of the Snake Girl whom Tardi stood intimately close. Anger and jealousy boiled inside her heart, but a joyful look on Tardi's face instantly froze her blood. She didn't have the right to be angry. She caused this.

"Yes, a new family. They saved me from loneliness and taught me how to survive. Without them, I would have been dead." Tardi couldn't keep her mouth from smiling. "They mean a lot to me, a real family."

"You don't need me anymore?" It was unfair. "What have I been living for, then?"

"No, Sis," Tardi pleaded. "I still love you. Half my life, you were there. I still want you for the other half."

"How can I make you accept me? I don't know anymore." Desperate, Pallorn rapidly walked forward, fighting her instinct to run away from her guilt, resisting the urge to detest her Monster Girl sister.

"Can you show me how much you love me? I want to, I need to know that you won't abandon me again."

"I would never!" Pallorn placed her hands on her chest, gesturing to the Goddess of Redemption. "I can vow to my faith that I won't abandon you."

"So you place faith above me, just the same." Tardi sighed and slowly backed away from Pallorn, who panicked and tried to reach out, but her shame seized her arms back.

"What must I do? I'm willing to do everything. Just come back, please."

Tardi smiled, shivering in delight. She perked up and reached outward, opening her embrace wide and inviting. Gradually, her body leant forwards, spilling the mud as her arms faintly trembled, overjoyed at last. Though she had become a Monster Girl, her love for her sister remained steadfast, unwavering. Though her love had become twisted, she too had been waiting to reunite with her sister.

"Then, come to me, Sis. Can we hug, like back then? Can I still have you as my big sister, even though I'm like this?" she said and slowly walked forwards, probing her sister's reaction.

Though she had grown since the incident, she was still smaller than Pallorn, who looked at her as the same little sister. Despite covered in mud, Pallorn didn't feel dirty nor repulsed by the Corruption Power seeping out of her sister. She gathered her courage and traversed into the muddy path, gradually smiling, letting go of her concern.

The cool mud body embraced the human, tainting the flesh with sticky dirt. Because of the height difference, Tardi's face met with Pallorn's breasts. Her face slightly sank from the pressing weight. She cuddled with her sister slowly, gently, lovingly, until her mud particles leaked into the silver armour and dirtied the inner clothes. Because it was her body, she felt everything tiny movement, from the tremble to the tickle to the tense.

"You're still so soft, Sis," Tardi whispered. "I love you, love you so much. Please don't ever leave me again."

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"Don't worry. I'm here now. I'll fix this." Pallorn rubbed her face on Tardi head, feeling the coarse mud tingling on her cheeks. Looking at her sister's current appearance sparked a mix of joy and melancholy circulating her body. "You'll have flesh body again. You'll feel again."

"What are you talking about, Sis?" Tardi said as she narrowed her eyes, tightening her hug. "Please, don't hurt me any further. I'm happy like this, and I want you to be happy too."

"But the holy power will continue to hunt you down. This life is unstable. You can die at any moment," Pallorn said, pulled away, and caught Tardi's shoulders. Her grip sank into Tardi's body, shivering. "I have a gift of purification. I can cleanse the Corruption Power inside you. You'll become human again."

Tardi shook her head and sighed. She grabbed her chest and slowly pulled it apart, splitting her breasts, revealing the shifting muds of her internal body and a glittering core, her central consciousness. The Corruption Power had already infused into her essence, twisting her soul and merging with her mind. She had become a full Monster Girl. She had fully fallen.

"It's impossible, Sis. To cleanse the Corruption Power is to erase me. If I'm not myself, then how I can be your sister?" Tardi said and averted her gaze. "You taught me not to betray kindness, but now you want me to leave the family that has helped me. I can't do it."

"But, Tulin—"

"Call me Tardi. I don't want to go back to the human, Sis. I don't want to be sad anymore." Tardi looked up to Pallorn. Her eyes gradually curved into a weak arch, which threatened to crack open into a stream of tears. "Why can't we just stay here? I don't want you to go with them. What if, one day, you never return? Please, don't leave me again."

"But Tardi, life as a Monster Girl is full of misery. There is no one to shelter you from the pursuits. Come to me, and I promise you will remain under the Church's protection."

"Sister Lenmia and Sister Iris will protect us. The Broken Empire will protect us. The Sinking Dark Forest will protect us. We have been here since the beginning, and no one can separate us."

"The Crusade will hunt you down," Pallorn said and tightly hugged Tardi, softly weeping. "Why don't you listen to me, your own sister? Those Monster Girls aren't good enough for you."

Hearing the words, Tardi felt anger rose in her heart. She struggled in Pallorn's embrace. Her mud body easily slipped out of the grip and manifested in front of Pallorn, slightly out of reach.

"I'm one of those Monster Girls, Sis. I trust them because they have never let me down. You did. Even now, you still can't choose me instead of that religion. Do you really love me the most?"

"What?" Pallorn said. "I did all of this for you. I became a Redeemer for you, worked so hard for you, and this is how you repay me?"

"I've never asked for them, Sis. I asked for you, but you won’t listen."

"And you don't understand. Why can't you listen to your sister instead of those Monster Girls? I'm looking out for you, always have been."

"You only look for that little sister you think you have. She is not here anymore. I've changed." Tardi clenched her fists and frowned. "Now that I've found a new family, are you going to take it away, or are you going to leave me again?"

"I will never leave you, but I also won't let you make any foolish decision." Pallorn made up her mind and leant forward, her hands grasping Tardi's arms. "I can't afford to lose you again. You're coming with me, no matter what."

Tardi tried to slip away from the grip, but a soft light glittered around her, preventing her from moving. Surprised, she stared at Pallorn, whose eyes shone grey.

"You will erase me, Sis," Tardi said. Fear rose in her soul. "I'll disappear."

"Even if your memory is lost, I'll fill it in for you. You'll love your sister once more. No matter the cost."

From Pallorn's hands, grey light emerged and seeped into Tardi, searing the muds, hardening them, and cracking them into countless rifts. The grey light rapidly traversed Tardi's skin as if they were moving through her veins. The purification power gradually consumed the Corruption Power, which boiled inside Tardi's soul, fracturing her core.

"Sis, it hurts," Tardi screamed. Her voice screeched the air and hurt Pallorn's ears and heart. "Please stop, Sis. It hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts."

Hearing the heart-shattering scream, Pallorn couldn't continue her ritual. She pushed Tardi away and collapsed on the mud ground, looking at her trembling hands, terrified of what she had done. She gripped her own hand and pinched the skin until she bled. If she had the sword beside her, she would have cut it before it could hurt Tardi again.

"What," she said, crying, "have I been doing? Isn't this my job? Why does it hurt? Tulin?"

She raised her head and looked forward. Tardi stood further from her, coughing out black muds. She panted and gripped her chest, holding onto the collapsing muds that continuously oozed out to replace the fallen parts. Her eyes slowly shifted to Pallorn, staring at her deeply, silently. The visible trace of tenderness and affection rapidly dissolved into sorrow, the same sorrow that plagued her heart since the day her sister left her.

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