Those Years In Quest Of Honour Mine

Chapter 54: CH 45


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Zhong Wan didn’t want to lose face like this, but he really was unable to control his blush. He craved to ask Yu She, to sort out whether he understood or not. Didn’t he read those storybooks before? Shouldn’t he know what… “never get enough” meant…?

Zhong Wan was so angry that he could feel a headache coming on. Voice low, he said, “Daring to ask Heir… what is it that I never get enough of?” 

Startled, Yu She glanced at the doorway. Then, his gaze filled with disbelief. “You actually have the guts to ask that?!”

Zhong Wan stilled. He realized something at that moment, and said, aghast, “You had your family soldier come teach me a lesson in the middle of the night. Did you have a dream where I licked you, and you got so mad that you wanted to hit me back?”

Yu She glanced at Zhong Wan. Not bothering to explain, he said, “It’s fine as long as you understand.”

As Zhong Wan was angered to the point of speechlessness, Yu She said, “I didn’t want to settle things with you before, but now…” 

Once Zhong Wan raised his head, Yu She kissed him on the lips.

Just a peck, and he separated from Zhong Wan. Cold enough to freeze, he said, “Don’t move.”

Yu She didn’t let him move, yet licked Zhong Wan’s lips, parting them.

The moment Yu She had approached him, Zhong Wan’s mind went blank. Yu She placed a hand on top of his shoulder. Unable to hold himself up, Zhong Wan grasped the cuff of Yu She’s sleeve out of reflex.

Yu She grew stiff, as if he were very fond of Zhong Wan pulling him like that. His actions grew many degrees softer. Gentler.

Mind in a complete mess, Zhong Wan could not refrain from having his thoughts run foolishly.

This person was so strange. What about when he did this with his sweetheart in the future? Would they also be forbidden from moving? Wouldn’t they resemble a dead person? So why did he look like that?

In a daze, Zhong Wan recalled when a young Yu She had burnt sleeping incense for him. And alarm filled his heart. Back then, did Yu She do this kind of thing to him? 

He seemed as though he liked having the other party motionless…

Probably not. Back then, Yu She was still very much a gentleman.

Yu She brushed his tongue against Zhong Wan. Finding it hard to control himself, Zhong Wan turned his head to avoid it. His breathing quick and brief, he said, “Heir, if you’re like this, I won’t be able to hold back anymore…”

As soon as Zhong Wan looked up, he caught sight of Yu She staring at him, gaze profound. His heartstrings trembled. Brain not functioning, he said, “If I can’t hold back anymore… you’ll scold me again.” 

Yu She also appeared aroused. Frowning, he didn’t want to hear Zhong Wan speak, leaning down to kiss him again. Helpless, Zhong Wan had no choice but to say near whisper, “Let’s come to an agreement first. You can scold me… but don’t scold me too harshly. O-okay?”

Yu She stiffened.

It seemed as if Yu She were repressing something, hand trembling a shade. As he gently rested his forehead against Zhong Wan’s, he muttered absent-mindedly, “You’re only staying still because I’m forcing you…”

“Huh?” 

“I’m forcing you,” muttered Yu She with a despondent air. “You’re not doing this voluntarily. That’s why you’re not moving… I’m the one forcing you. I’m the one compelling you to do this… In the future when I die, you’d be pleased. You wouldn’t be sad.”

Zhong Wan’s pupils trembled, pain flaring in the pit of his stomach in a flash.

Slightly dazed from what they had been doing before, Yu She accidentally allowed Zhong Wan to catch a glimpse of his true feelings during his youth, through the many layers of disguise

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Yu She’s breathing proved rough and heavy. He glowered at Zhong Wan, gripping the latter’s wrist, yanking out Zhong Wan’s hand that was sliding down the collar of his robe in exploration. Toward Steward Feng, he said with rage, “What is it?!”

Suffering an extreme amount of grievances, Steward Feng had never imagined those two would not even shut the door. In broad daylight, they a-a-actually… 

Steward Feng forced himself to say, “Fourth Prince is here. He made a huge fuss demanding Heir to return Lin Si.”

Zhong Wan was speechless.

After a moment of staring blankly, Yu She shouted, “What does he want from me?! Lin Si?!”

Baffled, Steward Feng replied, “I don’t know. Fourth Prince said that Heir must have definitely captured Lin Si again. This old slave said to His Highness that recently, Heir did not go outside, and absolutely did not bother with anyone. But His Highness didn’t listen. He kept saying he wanted that person returned…” 

Yu She closed his eyes to calm himself. Then he turned to Zhong Wan first, anger thick in his voice as he said, “What were you touching just now?”

Steward Feng was overwhelmed with shock!

Red spread through Zhong Wan’s face and down his neck. He glanced at Steward Feng, uneasy.

Mind unclear, Yu She had forgotten that Steward Feng was present. In a towering rage, he shouted, “Do you want me to tie your hands up from now on?!” 

Zhong Wan almost collapsed. “Can’t you see Xuan Jing first?!”

“Don’t change the topic, you…” Yu She turned to look at Steward Feng, angry to the point that his voice trembled. “Go… Prepare the roughest rope. Make sure you have a lot and place some in the study and inner chamber. And send some to Prince Qian An’s estate. So that he can see it every day. Kill….Kill one to warn a hundred. As a warning to others…”

Unable to refrain from urging, Steward Feng responded in haste, “Heir should quickly meet with Fourth Prince. Fourth Prince brought a rod with him! What if he smashes all of your honored self’s porcelain treasures? The servants cannot stop him…”

Yu She rubbed the center of his brows. Glared at Zhong Wan. Then he turned and left. 

Steward Feng swallowed his saliva and fell quiet for a moment. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Young Master, you…”

Zhong Wan had lost a lot of face, so he didn’t care anymore. “Even if I touched him a little, so what?!”

Steward Feng coughed and sighed. “Why did your honored self… Nevermind. I’ll go find some rope first.”

Steward Feng rushed off. Zhong Wan leaned against his seat in a daze, pursing his redder-than-usual lips. 

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He closed his eyes, the words Yu She had muttered into his ears still echoing in his mind.

“If I die in the future, you wouldn’t be sad.”

Pain filled his heart. Soft laughter escaped his lips. “To believe one’s own lies…”

Just before, when he had touched Yu She, he obviously liked it. 

Zhong Wan felt slightly regretful. A moment ago, he had seemed too impulsively indecent. He just hoped that in the future, he wouldn’t actually be tied up.

Zhong Wan’s thoughts grew chaotic again. He kept his eyes shut, waiting for Yu She to return so he could explain to him.

And as he sat there waiting, he ended up waiting for two hours.

Xuan Jing believed without a doubt that if Lin Si was not present at Prince Qian An’s estate, then he must be in Prince Yu’s estate. Yu She had a past record of capturing Lin Si, so the more Xuan Jing had thought of it, the more Yu She seemed like the culprit in his eyes. He had even thought that Yu She had tortured Lin Si to his last breath, where death was a better option than living. As such, he had come to the decision to search the estate and even the Dali Temple. 

Yu She was simply baffled. He neither captured Lin Si nor could he allow Xuan Jing to search his estate.  He was already angry at the start, and did not have the patience to talk to Xuan Jing. The two argued nonstop. Yu She’s mind had already gone messy from Zhong Wan, and his words were somewhat incoherent. “Once every ten days… Once every ten days. Yet you actually still want to delay me? Do you think of him constantly?!”

A sound of surprise left Xuan Jing’s lips as realization struck him. Furious, he said, “Just who’s the one thinking of him? Sure enough, he’s here! Let me search! I don’t dare to search Prince Yu’s estate, but is that the case for your side courtyard? If your conscience is clear, then let me search!”

Yu She was caught in a dizzy spell. In the study within his inner courtyard was a Zhong Wan who had been kissed soft by him. He couldn’t understand why he was here quarreling with Xuan Jing instead. Once his mind cleared up a little, he ordered his servants to shoo away Xuan Jing through the main door.

Naturally, Xuan Jing would not give in. As he was driven out, he shouted that he would have Emperor Chongan find justice. 

When Yu She returned to the inner courtyard, it was already pitch-black outside.

Steward Feng prepared a table of delicious food, and did not forget to place a plate of braised venison in front of Zhong Wan.

They did not talk when they partook in their meals.

After dinner, the two sat in the study. They seemed as they had been back in their youth: one person sitting in front of a desk and the other sitting on a low couch with a small kang table before him. 

Most of the texts in Yu She’s study were storybooks on him and Zhong Wan. Zhong Wan pulled one out in passing, and with one glance his face flushed.

However, Yu She was reading them very seriously, so much so that he would even annotate at the side.

Zhong Wan gasped in amazement. He really wanted to go over there for a look. Just what kind of assessment could Yu She even come up with for these types of books? However, he didn’t dare say anything.

He closed the book. Gazed at Yu She for a moment. He said in a low voice, “Heir.” 

Yu She paid him no mind.

Zhong Wan thought for a moment, before softly saying, “The moment I arrived here today, Steward Feng informed me that you… you wanted him to give you cold-food power.”

Yu She furrowed his brows a hint. He looked up. “What else did he say?”

“Nothing much. I was just curious…” said Zhong Wan cautiously. “How does it feel after eating those things? I’ve never tried them before.” 

Yu She raised his head again to glance at Zhong Wan. In a cold voice, he said, “You want to try some?”

After a bit of consideration, Zhong Wan said, “I’m just curious. That’s it. Word has it that you’ve taken cold-food powder for less than half a year. Looks like it doesn’t do much. Is it true that… it’s actually not harmful?”

Yu She looked down. “There were some harmful side effects.”

Striving his hardest to be tactful, Zhong Wan said, “Like what? Does one’s temperament… become irritable? I remember that in the past, an emperor liked taking those drugs and ate so much that he went crazy, easily angered and suspicious. In the end…” 

“His sons killed him,” said Yu She with an air of indifference.

A light sigh left Zhong Wan’s lips. Yu She also knew about this.

As Zhong Wan thought about how he could advise Yu She to become a better person, Yu She softly said, “It’s not because of cold-food powder that my temperament changed.”

Zhong Wan was struck speechless. 

Lifting his head again, Yu She glanced at Zhong Wan. In a gloomy tone, he said, “But after I took it for half a year, my mind indeed grew more chaotic. Cold-food powder isn’t something good. You should stop thinking about it.”

Just as Zhong Wan was about to speak, Yu She once again said impassively, “Even if I’m crazy, no one can touch me… At the very least, no one can touch me now. But you’re different.”

Zhong Wan was angered to the point of laughing.

“I don’t want to try it. I just wanted to advise you,” said Zhong Wan in a low voice. “I’m afraid that you’ll truly turn mad. And then one day when you’re unhappy, you’ll kill me.” 

Shocked, Yu She stared at him in bewilderment. “What do you think about all day?”

He lowered his head and returned to reading. “I haven’t turned that crazy yet.”

“Then what about in the future? If you keep taking cold-food powder, a few years later… When Emperor Daowu was thirty years old, after a short period of taking it, he became completely mad. When you get into one of your moods, and I accidentally sneeze, you’ll have me slaughtered.

“Or maybe because I ate too much, you’d find me an eyesore… 

“Or because my walking posture wasn’t proper enough…

“Or maybe even…” Zhong Wan’s voice dropped lower and lower. “Because I touched you a little by accident…”

“You still dare to talk?!” Yu She stared at Zhong Wan incredulously. “I’ve never seen you like this before…”

Recalling what happened during the day, Zhong Wan felt awkward. He rushed to lower his head and turn the page of his book. 

After a good while, Yu She said impatiently, “Fine! I won’t eat it anymore!”

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