Chapter 81: CH 72

Zhong Wan half-knelt by Yu She’s side. His forehead bled incessantly; the blood flowed down from the spot between his eyebrows, but he couldn’t be bothered to care about it. Voice hoarse, he continued to inquire, “You only ate this. You didn’t eat any cold food powder, right?”

Yu She lifted his head slightly and glanced at Zhong Wan. Right now, he wasn’t in the right state of mind. He couldn’t tell who the person in front of him was at all. 

Zhong Wan’s heart hurt so much that he was having trouble breathing. He carefully felt around Yu She’s chest, but couldn’t find anything. He asked again, “You didn’t eat cold food powder, right?”

Yu She carefully chewed on the tea leaves in his mouth. He gently shook his head.

Before Zhong Wan could relax, Yu She muttered to himself, “Guiyuan won’t let me eat that.”

Zhong Wan’s hand froze from where it was holding onto the collar of Yu She’s shirt. 

Zhong Wan forced the tears back. Voice slightly choked up, he asked, “Didn’t you see the letter I left for you? Did you think that I left? That I wasn’t coming back?”

Yu She furrowed his brows and looked at Zhong Wan. He couldn’t understand what the person before him was saying.

“I…” Blood flowed down Zhong Wan’s face. He feared this would frighten Yu She, so stood up and casually grabbed a cup of tea. He leaned back and poured the tea on his own face. Though the wound on his forehead stung because of the tea, Zhong Wan couldn’t be bothered with this pain. He wiped his face and turned around to lowly tell Yu She, “Get… get up first. I’m not leaving.”

Zhong Wan yanked Yu She to his feet. Yu She didn’t forget to keep a hold on the tea bag in his hand. He carefully wrapped the tea bag up and placed it back in his breast pocket.

Zhong Wan pulled Yu She onto the bed and tugged a random blanket over to cover him. Yu She quietly let Zhong Wan do as he wished. Gaze blank, he softly ordered, “Don’t touch the stuff on my desk.”

“W-what?” Zhong Wan looked outside. He hurriedly said, “I didn’t touch them. What are they? The imperial decree? I’ll put it away for you?”

Yu She shook his head. “Don’t touch them. They’re the mud figurines I bought for Guiyuan.”

Zhong Wan’s lips quivered imperceptibly. His heart hurt so much it felt like it was going to crack. 

Zhong Wan embraced Yu She through the blankets. His shoulders were violently shaking. He lowered his head and buried his face deeply into the blankets.

“I…”

Zhong Wan didn’t care whether or not Yu She could hear anymore. He held Yu She extremely close and whispered, “It’s fine if the mud figurines break. I don’t like them that much anyways… I forced you to buy them for me seven years ago because I was missing home at the time.

“Princess Consort always spoiled me. She didn’t have kids before me, so when she raised me… she doted a lot. All the merchants knew it was easy to earn money from the little young master of Prince Ning’s estate. At that time…” Zhong Wan paused. He softly said, “They would be right on time, waiting for me and Lin Si to get out of school. Then, they’d all huddle together in the alley by the corner of Prince Ning’s estate. As long as the things they sold were suitable for children, Princess Consort would always buy them for me. 

“Also…” Zhong Wan’s eyes were bright red. His voice shook. “I was purposefully teasing you… Princess Royal was too strict with you. I felt like your childhood must’ve been very boring. I wanted you to go out and walk around on the streets too…

“At the time, I was very pretentious as well. I was never willing to say anything in a straightforward manner…” Zhong Wan held onto Yu She and said with difficulty, “I knew very clearly what my own feelings were back then, but… Everyone was saying that your father killed my fath— killed Prince Ning. Thus, there were a lot of things I couldn’t tell you.”

Zhong Wan muttered, “Later on, I came to terms with several matters. In this lifetime… I’m destined to fail to repay Prince and Princess Consort Ning for raising me. I have no face to see them again. I don’t fear retribution for myself, but…”

Zhong Wan held back his tears and looked at Yu She. He softly asked, “But what about you?” 

Would Zhong Wan’s ancestors, who were in the heavens, take their anger out on Yu She after finding out that Zhong Wan liked the son of Emperor Chongan?

In the day, after Yu She had left and Zhong Wan had slightly recovered, Zhong Wan had forced his sickly body out of bed, left behind a handwritten letter, departed the estate, rented a horse, and headed to the Zhong family’s ancestral graves.

Pa tjv jigfjvs yffc rfnfc ab fluta sfjgr rlcmf tf tjv nlrlafv.

Itbcu Qjc yfilfnfv atja tf tjv rtjwfv tlr jcmfrabgr. Lf tjv fgjrfv tlwrfio ogbw atf ojwlis agff jcv gfoerfv ab rfa obba lc atf jcmfragji ugjnfr jujlc. 

Rbk atja tf tjv obecv bea jybea atf qgfnlber ofev, atbeut, tf mbeivc’a cba mbwf.

Zhong Wan had spent the entirety of several hours kowtowing in front of his parents’ graves.

Zhong Wan didn’t dare to defend himself in the slightest against the various embarrassing deeds that he had done in these past few years. He had kowtowed innumerous times, until his blood had covered the stone steps, begging his parents down under to blame only him. He had begged them not to, under any circumstances, vent their anger out on his Ziyou again.

“I was the one who fell in love first. I was also the one who seduced you…” Zhong Wan offhandedly wiped his face. “If anyone has sinned, it was me…” 

Yu She closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Zhong Wan turned to the side, allowing Yu She to lie down. Then, he laid down next to Yu She, still fully dressed.

“Ziyou…” Zhong Wan rested his head against Yu She’s body. He muttered, “I don’t know either if all the suffering you’ve experienced in these past few years were because those down under are collecting their debts. I worried that they wouldn’t have a clear understanding of the situation, so wanted to tell them… You weren’t the one who did anything wrong. You also aren’t the one who’s sinned.”

The blood on Zhong Wan’s face soaked into the cotton blankets silently. 

After an unknown period of time, he fell asleep like this, still holding onto Yu She.

When the sun first started appearing on the horizon, Zhong Wan woke up.

Yu She was still fast asleep.

Zhong Wan sat up and checked Yu She’s forehead. Nothing felt wrong. He leaned down and bumped his own forehead against Yu She’s. Zhong Wan was shocked: his own temperature was much higher than Yu She’s. 

Zhong Wan’s entire body ached. His forehead hurt even more. Only now did he realize that he had a fever. Zhong Wan sighed softly before carefully getting out of bed.

Zhong Wan didn’t know if he had caught a cold or something else. He regretted sleeping in the same bed as Yu She last night. He didn’t know if he had infected Yu She or not. Zhong Wan grabbed Yu She’s outer robe and put it on, then left the bedroom. He bent over and picked up the imperial decree on the ground that had been ripped apart, almost indiscernible.

Zhong Wan felt astonished in his heart. There were surprisingly a few… bite marks on this imperial decree.

Zhong Wan pieced the imperial decree together and read it over. 

Emperor Chongan had done relatively well in easing along the topic. The decree wasn’t too astonishing. It only said that Yu She was the child he had sired back in the day with a woman from a respectable family at Princess Royal Anguo’s estate. At that time, the eldest imperial prince and the second imperial prince had died one after the other. The third imperial prince was in poor health as well. Those were discordant years. Emperor Chongan worried that Yu She, still merely an infant, would fall victim to misfortune as well. Thus, he temporarily took away the other’s imperial surname and had him raised by Prince Yu and Princess Royal Anguo.

In this decree, Emperor Chongan hadn’t officially changed Yu She’s name. He only said that he would be naming Yu She a prince of the first rank and granting everyone amnesty on another day.

No change of surname. No mention of naming him as crown prince.

Zhong Wan narrowed his eyes… 

There was no wrong way of announcing this matter. Though the fact that Yu She was Emperor Chongan’s son had long since become a well-known secret among the court officials, if the emperor truly wanted to take Yu She back, he definitely needed to take things one step at a time. It wasn’t very appropriate to name him the crown prince immediately. Currently, Emperor Chongan was making Yu She stay in the Cabinet in order to give him opportunities at political achievement. Slowly rewarding him more and more following his eventual accomplishments was more convincing.

Thinking in this manner, Emperor Chongan’s plans were very suitable.

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But on the other hand, this was Emperor Chongan keeping Yu She in check.

Who was Emperor Chongan? How could he possibly believe that Yu She had truly started accepting him as a father out of the blue? 

How many human lives were between them? All these years, their father-son relationship had become more and more distant. How could they possibly return to the past overnight?

If Yu She was truly named crown prince, given Yu She’s current temperament, would he do something extreme, like commit patricide?

Emperor Chongan had watched Yu She endure humiliation and bear burdens these past few days. Would he not think of this possibility?

Even if Yu She didn’t do anything, as soon as Yu She officially became crown prince, would Prince Yu and Xuan Qiong feel threatened and resort to extremes? 

Emperor Chongan was wary of both sides.

Zhong Wan squeezed the imperial decree and felt that the next decree, the one naming Yu She crown prince, probably wouldn’t be given anytime soon.

He needed to come up with a plan.

Zhong Wan felt a bit dizzy. His entire body was warm, which was uncomfortable. He didn’t dare to drag things out anymore. He put the imperial decree away nicely and went looking for the imperial doctor alone. 

After reaching the door, Zhong Wan hesitated for a moment. He worried that Yu She, who was in bed now, would wake up later and go crazy again after not being able to find him. Like he had done yesterday.

Zhong Wan honestly didn’t want to see Yu She in a fit again.

Zhong Wan thought about it and sighed. He doubled back and stood in front of Yu She’s bed before lowering his head and chuckling bitterly. He took off the outer robe and his own undershirt. He placed the undershirt next to Yu She’s hand.

After seeing such an intimate clothing item, this person wouldn’t start thinking strange things again, right? 

Zhong Wan believed that he had sorted things out very thoughtfully. He put on the outer robe and dragged himself out to find the imperial doctor.

An hour later, the sky started brightening. Yu She woke up, somewhat dazed.

After each episode of madness, Yu She’s memory would be very murky. He sat in bed and reflected for a long time. He had a faint inkling of what had happened yesterday.

Yu She looked at the bed curtains, disappointed. He scoffed at himself. 

Everything was over.

Zhong Wan had left. Things were all over.

Yu She had originally thought that this was already the worst case scenario. But he only realized after sitting up that there was no permanence in this world and life was a series of misfortunes. Each time he felt like things were completely hopeless, there was always something more terrifying ahead, waiting for him.

Yu She’s pupils slightly trembled. He stared at the messy bed, the bloodstains on the blankets, and the undershirt next to his hand that had appeared out of nowhere. The color drained from his face. 

Yu She got up in despair. He looked down and examined his arms and chest…

Perfectly fine. He didn’t even have a single cut.

These bloodstains hadn’t come from him. That meant that they came from someone else.

Yu She was someone who had read quite a few storybooks. He knew perfectly well under what circumstances bloodstains would appear on blankets. 

Yu She glared at the undershirt on the bed in disgust. He roared, “Someone come in!!!”

Steward Feng, who had originally been in the outer room, scurried in.

“Who… who was it?” Yu She’s lips were completely pale. He pointed at the undershirt on the bed and forced his rage under control. “To which slut does this belong?”

Steward Feng blanked for a moment. He thought to himself, did these two get into an argument? 

Steward Feng cautiously prepared to give an unclear explanation. He asked, “Wh… what?”

Yu She couldn’t remember at all what had happened last night. He knew that he was prone to having fits, so didn’t dare to keep maids in the estate at all. This was because he feared that someone would take advantage of him while he was in an episode. However, despite all his efforts, it seemed that he had still failed.

If Zhong Wan found out, would he still return?

How was he supposed to explain this? 

Yu She thought in despair, would Zhong Wan be disdainful of the fact that he was dirty now?

Steward Feng felt that Yu She’s mental state wasn’t quite right. He fearfully inquired, “Heir… What’s actually the matter?”

“Can’t you see?” Yu She’s voice trembled. “The blood on the blankets! And the slut’s clothes! Can’t you see them? Who was it?!”

Steward Feng gulped. He softly said, “This old servant is unsure about how these came to be, but there is one thing this old servant needs to clear up for you…” 

Steward Feng softly said, “From last night until now, only Young Master Zhong came into this room.”

As if he had been struck by lightning, Yu She froze in place.

Instantly, the suggestive bloodstains on the bed were no longer disgusting. The undergarment had become enchanting too.

But… 

Yu She was in a daze. “I hurt him so deeply. He didn’t leave. He came back. He came looking for me. I…”

Yu She broke down. “And then I did that to him?”

Yu She clung onto his last bit of hope. He asked, “Where is he?”

“He’s in a really bad state. When he got up this morning, he said that he had another fever, and that every part of his body ached.” Steward Feng told the truth. “He went looking for the imperial doctor.” 

Yu She: “…”

Yu She’s face faintly flushed red. He turned around and sorted out the blankets himself. Steward Feng hurriedly rushed forward, wanting to help, but Yu She blocked the blankets from view. He hesitated and said, “Th-this isn’t something that you should see… This is leftover from Zhong Wan’s, you know… Nevermind. Anyways, I’ll clean up by myself.”

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