Chapter 10: 10

T/N : This is actually the beginning of ch 2.키스 의 의미 (The meaning of kiss), still long way to go to complete 1st volume of this novel series. 

I don’t know if there’s anybody who also like this novel as much as I do, if there’s anyone who read this, please leave comments below. Thank you! you can also comment anonymously too tho 

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“There’s a guy below us who works in the office supply store in the lobby of the building.”

“Oh, I think I know who you are talking about.” “Isn’t that noticeable? I wasn’t the only one.”

“Since when have you been working?” Another new face appeared. I thought silently. New face, who started appearing in conversations with people on our team for a while, is a man who works part-time at an office supply store on the first floor of a company building. 

That’s all I know. However, the appearance was quite conspicuous, so the frequency of appearances in conversations was quite high.

But I didn’t listen to them very carefully. This is because the youngest employee of the computer room, an intern in the social contribution team, a barista in the cafe across the street, etc., were a topic that was repeated over and over again, changing only the opponent when a good person appeared. 

After all, it’s a limited-time idol. “He was really kind” 

“But you know what it is? There were already two people in our company who try to approach him.” 

“Who? who?” 

“I don’t know, but as soon as I saw him, he said that he was his type, and he went and gave me his number.” 

“Oh my, girls these days are pretty. I hope you are confident.” But if the same story is repeated over and over again, I tend to become aware of it. Office supplies used in the company are usually received through the general affairs team after payment, but I have heard that more female employees are purchasing stationery with their own money to see the man up close. 

It was when I became a little curious about the man who breathes warmth into the hearts of female employees in such a boring routine that is repeated every day. “Didn’t the item arrive?” A staff member of the general affairs team answered my question with a puzzled face. “The order went in properly, but it’s strange. I don’t have any stuff. Will you come back tomorrow to find me? I’m going back now… .” Saying that, the staff tried to get up. I stopped him and waved my hand lightly, “Oh, that’s fine. I’ll go get it.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“It’s right below, right?” After saying good bye, I went out and headed straight downstairs. Normally, I would have waited until tomorrow because it was bothersome, but I just remembered the conversation of the employees a while ago. And when I arrived at the office supply store on the first floor, I encountered a familiar face I had never imagined. 

“Why are you here… .” 

Surprised, I pointed at Il-Jo without realizing it. But, with a surprised expression on his face, Il-Jo just stopped in place and disappeared into the warehouse before I could even finish speaking. 

Are you avoiding me now? As I was standing still, someone came and talked to me. It was a familiar face. Maybe it’s the original employee.

“Sir, is there something you are looking for?”

“The one that has entered the warehouse now.” “Yes?” I hurriedly changed my words at the staff’s stiff smile. 

“… It’s not a thing, it’s a person… He just entered the warehouse, how long have he been working here?” At my question, the staff looked up at me with a more wary look. And in those eyes, I realized that I was acting less socially. I felt like a man in his 50’s who fell in love with a young woman who only saw her face. 

However, to clear up some misunderstandings, I felt bothered to explain that I was asking because he didn’t understand why. Il-Jo was my cousin, and he lived in my house, and he got a job without me knowing. So I let go of the question I had just asked and sighed. “The general affairs team said something was missing. I came to pick it up.” 

“Oh, is it? Come over here.” 

While waiting for a while at the checkout counter to find things, Il-Jo still did not show up. It’s clear he been avoiding me. That’s why he hid in the warehouse and didn’t come out until I left. 

In front of the door to the warehouse, there was a sign saying ‘Staff Only’. As I was staring at the small window above it, the employee who was tapping on his laptop spoke to me.

“I’m sorry. The order was definitely coming in, but there was something missing.” 

“Did the general affairs team miss it?” 

“No. We forgot. Sorry, guest can’t enter.” He guess I was naive without knowing it. But why am I annoyed? I quickly came to my senses I am a person who despises the burden of stress on workers who have to work for the minimum wage and have to do emotional labor. Even though I quickly released my expression, the poor employee looked at me and continued. 

“Hey, the one who entered the warehouse. He  only been working for two weeks. But there are so many people asking similar questions…”

“Oh, I didn’t even know.” I questioned the staff who explained each and every word, absurdly. “When did I ask?” 

“Yes? Did you ask before?” There was nothing to say in the right words. “It’s the first time a man asks a question. You probably didn’t mean it that way, I’m sorry.” 

At that moment, I realized what kind of misunderstanding I had just received. However, ‘Look at this. It’s not me, it’s that guy who liked me.’ It is impossible to say that blatantly, the feeling subsided. 

If this is the case, you will really get annoyed with the person. “I know, forget it. I’ll ask him myself when I got home.” 

“Yes?” 

I forcefully smiled at the bewildered employee, took the item, and left the store. 

Then, in order to control my mind, I bought a drink to recharge my sugar at the cafe next door. “Please sweeten it.” 

“Iced Permigration Blueberry Latte is sweet! Four tablespoons of powder, please sweeten it a lot.” The part-timer took my order without asking. As soon as I received the finished drink and was afraid to return, Manager Yoon walked back to my seat. “Jeonghan, are you feeling bad?” 

“Is there another problem with my face?” 

“No, there is a problem with the drink you brought. Am i quick? But you should watch your insulin level. After working in the company for a long time, such small habits accumulate and threaten your health. Look at the people on our floor. All over the age of 40 have rhinitis and gastroenteritis. And a lot of young people these days have diabetes.” Another long talk. Do you care about the manager? Instead of answering, I put a straw in my mouth. When I drank the sweet, my mood temporarily eased.

Drug dependence should not increase like this… . “Yes, thank you for your concern.” With a smile, Manager Yoon returned to his seat. But the word insulin level remained in my mind and distracted me for a while. I have severe health anxiety that doesn’t suit me. It can be said that it is an unbearable mentality that I am proud of myself for having so much. 

It would have been the result of a comprehensive examination in Il-Jo do. Since you were supposed to receive the results home, you must have already received the results. The guy who had more time at home than me would receive the parcels or mail that arrived home and put them on the table. The bills that arrived to me were left unopened, and the parcel was unpacked, collected separately, and only the items were taken out. Pretty neat guy. That being said, I am glad that there is at least one thing that is excellent at sunlight.

Although it’s a little sad that cleaning is not a talent that can benefit the world or raise one’s honor. Anyway, I could have asked Il-Jo about what happened in the same building, but he just didn’t say anything. Just like any other day, he came home from work and looked at me and said, ‘You already arrived?’ and bowed his head. That brazen face was amazing. You act like you don’t even remember seeing me during the day. Obviously looking at my face and avoiding it. 

So, as always, I silently took off my shoes and ran across the living room. Seeing that I did not have the packaged food for two to share in my hand, Il-Jo quietly returned to his room. the next day, and the next day. Lee Il-jo didn’t seem to want to tell me anything unless I asked him first. I wondered if it was a short-term part-time job that lasted a day or two and was already over… If I had to forget, seeing the story of a handsome part-timer in the office supply store on the first floor of the building, it seemed that it was not. 

“Your face is so pale. I thought college students were working part-time for a while. But I’m twenty-nine.” 

“This is very advanced information. Did you ask that?” 

“Then, I’m an aunt, so ask questions like that.”

“Chief, chief. Then why not ask if I have a girlfriend?” 

“You can’t be so passive! Go ahead and ask openly. Receptionist Yuri already ate lunch together once?” 

It was clear that the story heard through the partition was about Il-Jo. Without realizing it, the mouse stopped and I was immersed in the story. However, thanks to the manager who showed up soon after, the staff dispersed. He doesn’t really care. But why doesn’t he talk? But I soon understood. You may not want to talk. Kyung-eon said that in her first lecture after entering college, she was shocked to see her classmate whom I had neglected throughout high school in the same classroom as her, so she decided to try again. 

Originally, I knew that he was a man who said he was going to die of low self-esteem, but I think I thought it was a bit excessive at the time. Even then, I was somewhat persuaded and moved on. Because I can’t blame my friends for their personalities. In fact, humans are each other, so when you curse at a friend, it’s like spitting in your face. 

Anyway, they are all men of the same age, but one of them works in the office upstairs and the other works as a part-timer at an office supply store. Of course, you may not like the reality of stark comparisons. A feeling of inferiority, it was difficult to guess any other reason. But why is he suddenly taking pride in me? Come to think of it, the answer came quickly. Because I like it. All of my ex-girlfriends started acting incomprehensible when they all felt their emotional seesaw tilted to one side. And from the beginning, I climbed the seesaw alone, holding a lot of emotional weight. 

At the moment when they feel they are emotionally euphoric, they try to get some kind of reward from the other person. A defense mechanism to protect the eroded self-esteem is activated. And I tend to never give an answer to the other person’s non-verbal expression in such a situation. 

People have to talk, and if I don’t have the courage to put my feelings into words and I only act narrowly, I get bored quickly. Anyway, it may be that Lee Il-jo is also passively protecting himself now. 

The gap between you and the person you like is so obvious, there’s no way it’s okay. And his defense mechanism was at a cute level that didn’t even hit me, so it didn’t bother me too much. If you ever feel like you’re trying to protect yourself, well, it’s something to celebrate from my point of view. 

A week passed like that. Meanwhile, Il-Jo continued to act incomprehensible. When I went to work, he said hello to me and went back into the room, and when I got home from work, he came out of the room in the same outfit as in the morning. As if I wanted to completely hide the fact that I went out secretly while I was at work and did a short part-time job. do everything I let Il-Jo do whatever it takes. 

The only thing that worries me a bit is that Receptionist Yuri, who said we had lunch together, is too kind to me. I could tell that Yuri’s interest in Il-Jo was of the same kind that he briefly turned to me. 

A light crush that feels like flying. I wonder if he would have agreed to the meal even though he knew it. And one more thing, I was a little curious if Il-Jo could even date a woman…

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That’s none of my business. And just a week after we knew each other and pretended not to know, Il-Jo did not enter the room after giving me a good eye after leaving work. 

“… .” 

“… .”

There was only silence between our gazes. As soon as I took off my shoes, instead of going straight into the room, I headed to the kitchen and slowly poured a glass of water. Il-Jo’s gaze on my back felt blatant. I could feel that he was going crazy because he wanted to say something to me right now. 

So I generously decided to throw the bait first. To make it easier for Il-Jk to talk to me. 

“What you looking at?” 

“Why did you say you live with me?” The answer came out in a snap like bread popping out of a toaster. It was an unexpected question. Silence passed for 3 seconds. I quickly regained my composure and poured another glass of water. 

“Who say it?” 

“The person I work with… He said so.” 

“Ah.” how did you say that It happened a week ago, so I can’t remember the details. So instead, I returned to the question. “Why did you hide your work from me? We’ve meet before. We ran into each other openly and you ran away.” 

“What?” Il-Jo’s eyes widened. 

It was a reaction that he never thought I would say such a thing. “Give me some water too.” Il-Jo came up to me and took the glass of water from my hand. Then he gulped down to see the floor. Looking at him I thought about what Il-Jo’s ‘non-verbal expression’ meant. 

Perhaps he wanted to show that I was not even funny. That’s very threatening. I asked, looking down at the rather brave Il-Jo. “So you wanted to drink from the cup I drank?” 

“Yes?” 

“An indirect kiss.” Making Il-Jo felt difficult in one second is easier than a piece of cake for me. When I asked, with my eyes narrowed on purpose, Il-Jo returned the cup to me with a look of great bewilderment. It’s like throwing an object that you touched prematurely and caused burns. “You… You did.” 

“What I did?”

I put the cup on the sink and then took off my suit jacket. Then, I habitually untie my tie and pull the watch. While undoing the top two buttons, Il-Jo opened his mouth again. 

“You said I should pretend to don’t know you….” “When did I say that?” At my question, Il-Jo kept his mouth shut. And at the same time I remembered. “Ah… .” reminded me one day, when the harassment against him was too extreme for me, I looked down at him at the hospital near my company and offered to have dinner with him that day. 

Because of this, even after the morning treatment was over, Il-Jo had to wait until I got home from work. I don’t know what he was doing during that time. Actually, I wasn’t interested. Because it was an itinerary that was completely tailored to my convenience.

Anyway, after realizing that Il-Jo would be inside my activity boundary all day, I said, ‘If you ever run into me near the office, don’t pretend to know me.’ 

Why did I do that?

“I forgot.” 

“You really… .” Il-Jo muttered helplessly. But forgetting those words was not intentional. Although these words were not meant to make Il-Jo difficult or hurt, Il-Jo seemed to have been hurt more than ever. You could tell by looking at his face. 

“Are you going to cry again?” 

“Why am I crying?” Il-Jo said with quite a bit of strength in his eyes. It seems that crying in front of me the other day when we were drinking together is still a huge shame. “Are you upset?” 

“No. I’m not upset.” That’s a lie. If you’re not upset, there’s no way you’ll ever remember those words, and there’s no way you’d run away to the warehouse as soon as you ran into me. It is true that he deliberately avoided me, but I was relieved to think that I was the one who made it that way. I tapped Il-Jo on the shoulder and apologized. 

“Hey, sorry. It was a bit like that back then.”

“I know. You are capricious.” 

“Are you cursing in front of me now?” I smiled and picked up the car key I had left on the table again. Il-Jo was still holding his clumsy venomous expression, but nevertheless, he could not hide the curiosity in his eyes.

“Let’s go Let me buy you some clothes.”

“Clothes?” 

“I remember why I did that. Look at what you wear.” As I pointed at the guy’s thick t-shirt, Il-Jo grabbed his t-shirt’s chest. 

“Most of them over there are office workers, but what would people think if you wore them in such a messy way? And when I run into you after hanging out with people from the company, everyone won’t ask what’s going on. How do I explain it to them?” It seems to be written ‘It’s really bad?’ on the forehead of Il-Jo when he looking at me. 

Of course, I wasn’t mad at that expression. Because that’s true. But those black eyes evoked memories of the past. ‘By the way… Don’t dress like this when you come to Seoul. Because it’s rustic.’ It was the second time he  heard it, so it seemed less shocking than it was then. Il-Jo went into his room without saying a word, put on the one and only thin bomber, and followed me out. 

On the way to a nearby department store in the car, I suddenly had a question and asked. 

“How do you survive the winter when you only have these clothes?” 

“…I can wear everything I have at once.” 

“Then, aren’t your clothes not that good?” 

“I do not know.” 

All the way to the department store, Iljo looked out the window. It makes quite a bit of tea. Either way, I talked about what I wanted to say. “Why are you working there? Did you know that the company I work for was near there and followed me?” 

“No it’s not. I really didn’t know.” 

“Stalker.” 

“No!” When I couldn’t hold back my laughter, Il-Jo hurriedly added an explanation. His voice was full of frustration. “No, really. It’s close to your house and the neighborhood is nice… I don’t know Seoul well, so I looked it up in a place I knew and found it.” 

“Yes. okay okay.” I replied with a moderate smile. I decided to stop teasing him more, as it seemed pathetic to write and deny it. Instead, I continued driving silently through the night streets of Seoul. I became more lenient, and turned on the car audio to play music. It was an enjoyable night drive with the waves of the Hangang River glittering in the distance and the street lamps lined up in the distance. It’s a bit of a blemish that it’s Lee Il-joo, not my girlfriend, sitting next to me… It wasn’t that bad though. 

It was after a little more time that Il-Jo opened his mouth again and muttered in a low voice. I turned down the volume of the music and listened to his voice. “Jeonghan-ah, I want to continue working there… The owner is nice and the store is clean. My boss originally tried to find a high school graduate, but he accept me to work.” 

“… .” 

“I can’t keep being this lucky.” 

Who thought that what Il-Jo thinking was talking as if I was gonna tell him to quit. I didn’t really respond to Il-Jo, who looked at me. The department store we arrived at was already close to closing time. After stopping the car in the parking lot, I made a phone call and went up to the VIP lounge. As soon as we arrived, the personal shopper in the VIP room greeted us kindly. 

“Can I get you a drink?” 

“I’ll pass. What would you like to drink?” Il-Jo looked around the lounge and said, ‘Me, me too.’ ‘ replied with a mosquito crowing. Il-Jo’s complexion suddenly turned pale as he opened the brochure provided by the dedicated personal shopper. ‘Why aren’t there any price tags?’ Il-Jo whispered to me with a bewildered face. 

Because of this incident, the debt owed to me by Il-Jo could be up to 30 million won instead of 3 million won… I took a little longer before answering. 

“I’m buying it, so just pick it up.” 

“Why?” This was an apology to Il-Jo, who must have been unintentionally hurt by my words. However, I was a little hesitant to express it as it is. Because you might think that I have a feeling. 

“Okay, can you buy me one too?” 

“Hey, what is that?” Il-Jo was trembling about what other evil things I would do. I picked a belt that cost less than 500,000 won in front of Il-Jo. As a result, Il-Jo owed me about 3.5 million won. And on that day, I bought a total of 14 clothes, including shoes, for about 12 million won. I didn’t tell Rizo the exact price, but he seemed to know that it was a price he could never pay back. 

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Before going home, Il-Jo said to me. “Thank you, I’ll wear it well.” Il-Jo with his gentle eyes, who had already brushed off what had upset him in the previous conversation, docilely said.

It was surprising. To be honest, I thought, ‘I’d rather give it in money.’ 

“Yes, wear it well.” At my words, Il-Jo laughed heartily again.

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