Chapter 50: Chapter 50 . Mixed feelings

I'll come to Schneizel's house in a two weeks' time."

　With these words, Almire left, and a short time later I returned to Schneizel's house.

I was met by a man who seemed to be Schneizel's second-in-command when I returned from the royal castle by carriage.

　I think his name was Vasel. I guess he must be a big guy, because he was bending down to the level of a big guy who had followed me from the royal castle to take me home.

'Your personal attendant, Misha, is waiting for you. You should go and see her."

'I understand. I want to focus on training in magic for the next two weeks, so I may not be able to come to the training ground."

'I understand. I will let her know if there is anything else I need to tell her."

　After a brief exchange with Vasel, I headed to my room. The room was familiar to me, but I hadn't seen it in a while, and as usual it was spotlessly clean.

　The futon was folded without a single wrinkle, the study desk was neatly arranged with the books I was in the process of learning, and the closet was carefully stocked with clothes.

　There was no way that I, a clumsy and tedious person, could have done all this. It was all Misha's doing.

I guess she makes it easy for me to live in my room every day.

Misha turned at the sound of the door opening and saw my leg, relief on his face.

"Nor, welcome back."

'I'm home"

'Is your leg alright now?"

" Yes, I had it properly treated by someone I trust. I've been told not to do any physical activity for a while, but otherwise it's fine."

'I'm glad. I am very glad".

　Misha held me in her arms as if to tell me not to take another step, then sat down on the bed and sat me on her lap.

　The position is like being hugged from behind. There are many things that hit me, and the girl's sweet smell is bad, but for some reason I don't have any ulterior motives.

　Rather, I felt a sense of safety, and being hugged from behind with my whole body was calming.

　However, I don't even have time for this right now.

" I have something I need to do, so I need you to let go of me."

"Studying?"

"No, I'm thinking of training in magic".

"Does it have to be right now?"

"No, it doesn't have to be right now, but I don't want to waste time. I don't mean that the time I spend with Misha is a wasted time, you know? But you see..."

I know. I'm the one who is closest to Nor and I'm the one who sees what Nor is doing.

　Misha smiles a small smile. But there is no sign of her letting go of me. I felt somewhat awkward and kept silent for the time being, and after a little while she spoke to me again.

　　Her voice was slightly trembling. The body holding me in its arms was also trembling, as if to hold me back from moving away rather than to embrace me.

" I'm not like back then, you're free now. You should be more comfortable with that."

"------"

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I don't have to get stronger to get out of house arrest anymore.

"That's right.'

"l. At first I felt like I had to do something to help you. But now I don't know if we have sibling l lie bond , because you not with me , but I love you like a child. That's why it hurts me so much to see you in danger."

　Misha said slowly, as if trying to squeeze out her trembling voice.

I guess those words do not only refer to the current leg incident. I've been in some kind of danger ever since I've been with Misha,

　At first it was necessary to escape house . Misha would say, "But that's not the case now, is it?

　That's right.

A six year old who works out all the time without having any fun and wastes no time in studying, even during breaks, is just too much.

From my point of view, I have a goal to save my favorite girl, Crescencia, and I even enjoy getting stronger, as if I am participating in a matches .

In addition, as a former social recluse, it is a refreshing change for me to be able to focus on something new.

But to someone who doesn't know that, I'm clearly an abnormal person.

How should I tell this? I can't say that I'm in love with Crescencia and want to do everything I can for her because I've been with her for so long. I haven't even let Misha know that I have this feelings for her in our life so far.

　I guess I have to hide it now.

"I am sorry. I'm not ready to turn this way of life around for the time being. I know you're worried about me, but..."

"Oh, I'm not good enough."

'I don't think so."

'No, I'm scared of you doing dangerous things . I'm afraid of you doing dangerous things on your own, and I don't feel safe unless I hold you like this. "

　What should I do about this?

　I have a desire to save Cresencia. I have the position of Schneizel's disciple.

　I got this position to get out of house arrest, but it is also something that puts me in danger.

I can't say I don't want to do it now, and I've already stepped onto the battlefield over Cresencia.

But I don't want to be indifferent to Misha's concerns.

" I am a really bad guardian," id. I can't believe I'm so weak as a little girl. It's what I'm meant to do, to take it in."

'No, I don't. I'm so grateful that you're there."

　For a few seconds, silence fills the room. I am sure that is Misha's hesitation.

"I'm relieved then. Ha, let's not get too gloomy! Yes, Nor. You can go study magic. I'm going back to work!"

I couldn't speak a word of any kind to Misha, who let me go with a blank stare.

How could I, who was willingly moving toward the direction she told me not to, do anything about it?

Unable to give an answer to this vague situation, I resume my daily routin

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