Today's Beast Who Doesn't Remember Yesterday
Chapter 7
I went out to the garden to meet an unexpected guest.
I can’t bring guests into the mansion without an invitation.
What if that person was Marquis Rayburn?
“Are you okay, My Lady?”
“I’m okay.”
Lasha looked a little worried.
There was no one in the empire who didn’t know how I grew up in the Rayburn family.
A child born out of a spirit of slavery raised by Marquis Rayburn.
That was the beginning of Lily Rayburn.
The marchioness, who had her eyes open, of course, did not overlook her husband’s affair.
The fact that she had lost her husband to a slave, albeit for a brief moment, had ruined the pride of marchioness.
‘There is a guardian in the world who protects the fairy.’ Although her mother didn’t have it, ‘Lily would surely meet with her guardian.’
‘Lily, my pretty Lily. Mother wants my daughter to be happy.’
It was a common wish of parents.
I took my mother’s hand and swore that I would surely be happy.
A few times so that I can rest assured.
As a child, who wasn’t even treated as an illegitimate child, my mother closed her eyes over me, when I was still five years old.
My birth was not honorable, and I was also abused for my appearance that resembles my mother, who had been sold in foreign countries as a slave.
Marquis Rayburn, a weak father, turned a blind eye to such a daughter and I was completely isolated.
‘Dirty eater! How dare you know who I am and raise your head stiffly?!’
You are ugly. It’s the blood of a witch, so it’s inevitable.’
‘I had told you to stay out of my sight.’
My one-year-old brothers, the marchioness, and my father all hated me.
Just the fact that I was born was considered a denial of existence.
My mother was from a clan of witches hated by everyone, and she was considered ugly even though she was beautiful.
Black hair and silver eyes were characteristic of the witch clan. Unfortunately, I look just like my mother.
Her transparent silver eyes seemed to see through things and the black curly hair is a living curse of a witch.
‘I should throw her away.’
‘I should have kicked her out.’
Those were the words that they uttered countless times. They did not abandon me, they did not treat me as an illegitimate child, but only tormented me.
They hated me even though I did nothing.
In Particular, the marchioness hit me whenever she saw me.
One day, after being severly beaten, I was thrown into a stable where no one goes, and there was a time when I could barely move and almost suffocated.
It was almost a miracle I survived that day.
The blood of an evil witch.
I was severely persecuted, saying that if they throw me out, I might curse them, so I should be locked in a cage and protect the family from the ire of witches.
I was just their tool for solving their anger, a game to play when they were bored. My life changed a bit when I was around the age of 8. It had been three years since my mother passed away.
‘Lily, not everyone is bad.’
‘Are you crying again? I told you to run to your brother if someone bothers you.’
‘Lily, you don’t have to pay attention to what people say. No matter what others say, you’re a child of the Rayburn family.’
Conzel, the first of the Rayburns, was born as twins to Izban.
He was selected as the heir to the family early on due to his resemblance to the Marquis’ wife and his excellent abilities despite his young age.
A friendly touch and a gentle smile.
Only Conzel embraced me when everyone harassed and cursed me.
He was ten years old, so Conzel seemed to be a great man, as high as the sky.
He clung to me even more, as he can give me a brief break from the horrific abuse.
“It’s been a while, Lily.”
An overly friendly smile as he suddenly came without contact.
A gentle voice said it’s been a long time even though it’s only been a week since he saw me at the wedding. “Not so long ago, Brother Conzel.”
It was Conzel Rayburn who came to see me.
As I came out of the gate to meet him, I laughed out loud at the past that came to mind again.
Yeah, it was like that then, too.
Even in the previous life, this man had come to visit this way.
Left alone in an unfamiliar family, I longed for the gentle Conzel. I was in tears in fear of Edlade, who was horrified just by looking at me.
The kind Conzel who came to me comforted me by rubbing my back.
It’s ok, I am doing fine
Edlade is not a scary person.
“I thought of you while passing by and came to you in a hurry without contacting me. I know it’s rude, but I’m worried about you.”
He was smiling softly, but he was ignoring me. He didn’t even apologize, I didn’t know at the time.
“You are my brother, but it’s rude… I’m afraid Your Excellency, the Duke will say something to me. Next time, please tell me in advance.”
I glanced around, wiggling my fingers.
It was a tone full of hesitation, but a smile of joy hung precariously on my face.
He smiled genuinely as if he was willing to speak and act on my words.
“Are you still afraid of the duke? He seems to care quite a bit about you.”
“You look at me with such gentle eyes. All the vassals look at me… with strange eyes.”
I glanced around and spoke, Conzel patted my shoulder saying he understood.
“It’s a political marriage that was forced by His Majesty, so you probably didn’t get the last name. Maybe His Excellency is wary of a witch coming to his family.”
Conzel seemed very unpleasant to stand in front of the gate and talk without even letting him into the house.
Talking about words that are not like consolation. What does he mean a witch came in? I didn’t even know he was saying this openly.
Nevertheless, I gave him a hint through my eyes complaining that as a duchess I still had no power to bring a brother inside.
If it was me before the regression, I would have shrunk my shoulders at the look of his eyes.
In the past life, when my eagerly awaited brother came, I brought him to the parlor of the mansion
I naturally remembered myself jumping over in delight at the fact that my brother had come to visit me.
I didn’t know that’s Conzel’s plan to explore the mansion that no one can easily access.
Even at the moment, I am holding back the urge to grab him by the collar and yell at him for what he did, ‘I will never forgive you.’
“I’m trying to adapt well… Just as my brother asked me before marriage. So that I can get to know vassals and be liked by Your Excellency the Duke.”
“…Yes, you should. Don’t be afraid of the Duke. He isn’t a person who will harm you.”
He spoke well, without knowing he was a human being who would cause harm.
Because I didn’t matter to Conzel.
All he wanted was information about the Philemon family and Edlade’s weakness.
When the emperor announced the arranged marriage, it was Conzel who pushed and persuaded me to accept it.
Without knowing it, I believed Conzel, who told me to get out of the mansion that was tormenting me and start a new life.
“Have you heard anything from Duke Philemon?”
He smiled shyly and innocently without revealing his true feelings.
A smile came out more naturally because I knew that everything about Conzel, who once praised me as “good, Lily,” was false.
“I don’t meet him very often. Perhaps…… I don’t think he wants to meet me.”
“If the duke doesn’t come to meet you, you can go to meet him.”
“But how can I…”
“You are the most adorable child I know, and the Duke will think of you that way too. So, go ahead and see him.”
“It’s scary.”
As I trembled in fear, Conzel clicked his tongue briefly and stroked my hair.
“Lily, you’re a daughter of the Rayburn family. You’re more courageous than anyone, so you can get close to the Duke.”
Puck!
The desire to tear off his mouth blazed over me.
It’s so obvious, but why didn’t I know then?
It’s pathetic, I’m pathetic.
I can’t quit. I have to show myself as pathetic, stupid, and cowardly. Because I still can’t reveal my true nature to Conzel yet.
“I will try.”
“Yeah, that’s nice. Lily.”
I know he came here to pry useful information, but I repeated, ‘I will try,’ like a parrot, over and over again to get praised.
After more than three times asking me to find out, Conzel was leaving.
It was obvious that he would come back again after a week.
‘I think my head was going to rot.’
He stroked my hair recklessly.
My hair was messy, but it was fine. Because I terribly hated the part that had even the slightest contact with Conzel.
He also rubbed my shoulder that he had been pounding on.
The thin dress I was wearing was scratched with blood, but it was okay.
Next time, I will wear thick clothes and meet him. So that he can’t feel it even if he pats my shoulder.
‘Oh, I should wear a hat. He won’t be able to stroke my hair.’
I hated him that much.
When I met him, I wanted to tear off his limbs and kill him right away.
But I didn’t have the ability to do that, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure out anything if I pushed him now.
Conzel wasn’t the only one who pressured Edlade.
‘He’s a beast with no human heart! Well, this time. I must do it! I do it for Edlade.’
Even if Conzel plays with his words, he won’t take responsibility for what he did.
Conzel has never seen me as ‘Lily.’ From the beginning to the end, he only treated me like a dog that listened to him well.
“Whew… I’m out of energy.”
He stretched his drooping shoulders and headed back.
Knowing that Conzel had arrived, I felt fortunate to have left Lasha behind.
If she saw me like this, she would have freaked out and made a fuss.
When I went back to the mansion, I had to cheer up and prepare for tomorrow.
While I was looking at the garden on the way back to the mansion, I thought about taking a break? As soon as I thought of it, my body immediately took a seat on the garden bench. The spring season is near, but the wind was still a little chilly. The cold winter wind still seemed to blow from far away.
I leaned on the bench and looked up at the sky blankly.
The beast… That’s right, I was afraid of Edlade as a beast.’
A peek of laughter leaked out.
Fearing the duke of the rumor-filled empire, I always shivered to sleep in bed.
I was locking the door tightly in case he wanted to come and visit me.
Oh, I can’t do this.
I keep thinking of the memories I had with him.
I miss the one who loved me.
Then I would tell him that I love him unconditionally.
I want to see his smile that smiled more brightly than anyone else in the world at that single word that I said only once.
“I miss you…”
“Are you crazy?”
I could hear his voice when I said I missed him.
It seems that a desperate heart can even hallucinate.
“What is it?”
“Even if it’s an auditory hallucination, it would be nice if you could tell me something nice.”
“That’s crazy.”
“No, good words.”
“…I heard that a guest has arrived, have you experienced anything bad?”
“Okay! Words like that!”
It sounds like he is worried about me.
The real-time correction made my heart ache for nothing.
I hallucinated him while I was staring at the sky with an earnest desire to see his face.
What a hallucination!’
His appearance was so sudden that I opened my mouth slightly without realizing it.
I only knew that he had gone out after leaving the greenhouse earlier.
He is still in the mansion.
“…….. Did you see anything you shouldn’t?”
“It’s because I saw what I wanted to see.”
With that answer, I laughed like a fool.
Then Edlade’s face wrinkled as if he had been hit in the cheek.
Chapter 7: 7
I went out to the garden to meet an unexpected guest.
I can’t bring guests into the mansion without an invitation.
What if that person was Marquis Rayburn?
“Are you okay, My Lady?”
“I’m okay.”
Lasha looked a little worried.
There was no one in the empire who didn’t know how I grew up in the Rayburn family.
A child born out of a spirit of slavery raised by Marquis Rayburn.
That was the beginning of Lily Rayburn.
The marchioness, who had her eyes open, of course, did not overlook her husband’s affair.
The fact that she had lost her husband to a slave, albeit for a brief moment, had ruined the pride of marchioness.
‘There is a guardian in the world who protects the fairy.’ Although her mother didn’t have it, ‘Lily would surely meet with her guardian.’
‘Lily, my pretty Lily. Mother wants my daughter to be happy.’
It was a common wish of parents.
I took my mother’s hand and swore that I would surely be happy.
A few times so that I can rest assured.
As a child, who wasn’t even treated as an illegitimate child, my mother closed her eyes over me, when I was still five years old.
My birth was not honorable, and I was also abused for my appearance that resembles my mother, who had been sold in foreign countries as a slave.
Marquis Rayburn, a weak father, turned a blind eye to such a daughter and I was completely isolated.
You are ugly. It’s the blood of a witch, so it’s inevitable.’
‘I had told you to stay out of my sight.’
My one-year-old brothers, the marchioness, and my father all hated me.
Just the fact that I was born was considered a denial of existence.
My mother was from a clan of witches hated by everyone, and she was considered ugly even though she was beautiful.
Black hair and silver eyes were characteristic of the witch clan. Unfortunately, I look just like my mother.
Her transparent silver eyes seemed to see through things and the black curly hair is a living curse of a witch.
‘I should throw her away.’
‘I should have kicked her out.’
Those were the words that they uttered countless times. They did not abandon me, they did not treat me as an illegitimate child, but only tormented me.
They hated me even though I did nothing.
In Particular, the marchioness hit me whenever she saw me.
One day, after being severly beaten, I was thrown into a stable where no one goes, and there was a time when I could barely move and almost suffocated.
It was almost a miracle I survived that day.
The blood of an evil witch.
I was severely persecuted, saying that if they throw me out, I might curse them, so I should be locked in a cage and protect the family from the ire of witches.
I was just their tool for solving their anger, a game to play when they were bored. My life changed a bit when I was around the age of 8. It had been three years since my mother passed away.
‘Lily, not everyone is bad.’
‘Are you crying again? I told you to run to your brother if someone bothers you.’
Conzel, the first of the Rayburns, was born as twins to Izban.
He was selected as the heir to the family early on due to his resemblance to the Marquis’ wife and his excellent abilities despite his young age.
A friendly touch and a gentle smile.
Only Conzel embraced me when everyone harassed and cursed me.
He was ten years old, so Conzel seemed to be a great man, as high as the sky.
He clung to me even more, as he can give me a brief break from the horrific abuse.
“It’s been a while, Lily.”
An overly friendly smile as he suddenly came without contact.
A gentle voice said it’s been a long time even though it’s only been a week since he saw me at the wedding. “Not so long ago, Brother Conzel.”
It was Conzel Rayburn who came to see me.
As I came out of the gate to meet him, I laughed out loud at the past that came to mind again.
Yeah, it was like that then, too.
Even in the previous life, this man had come to visit this way.
Left alone in an unfamiliar family, I longed for the gentle Conzel. I was in tears in fear of Edlade, who was horrified just by looking at me.
The kind Conzel who came to me comforted me by rubbing my back.
It’s ok, I am doing fine
Edlade is not a scary person.
“I thought of you while passing by and came to you in a hurry without contacting me. I know it’s rude, but I’m worried about you.”
He was smiling softly, but he was ignoring me. He didn’t even apologize, I didn’t know at the time.
I glanced around, wiggling my fingers.
It was a tone full of hesitation, but a smile of joy hung precariously on my face.
He smiled genuinely as if he was willing to speak and act on my words.
“Are you still afraid of the duke? He seems to care quite a bit about you.”
“You look at me with such gentle eyes. All the vassals look at me… with strange eyes.”
I glanced around and spoke, Conzel patted my shoulder saying he understood.
“It’s a political marriage that was forced by His Majesty, so you probably didn’t get the last name. Maybe His Excellency is wary of a witch coming to his family.”
Conzel seemed very unpleasant to stand in front of the gate and talk without even letting him into the house.
Talking about words that are not like consolation. What does he mean a witch came in? I didn’t even know he was saying this openly.
Nevertheless, I gave him a hint through my eyes complaining that as a duchess I still had no power to bring a brother inside.
If it was me before the regression, I would have shrunk my shoulders at the look of his eyes.
In the past life, when my eagerly awaited brother came, I brought him to the parlor of the mansion
I naturally remembered myself jumping over in delight at the fact that my brother had come to visit me.
I didn’t know that’s Conzel’s plan to explore the mansion that no one can easily access.
Even at the moment, I am holding back the urge to grab him by the collar and yell at him for what he did, ‘I will never forgive you.’
“I’m trying to adapt well… Just as my brother asked me before marriage. So that I can get to know vassals and be liked by Your Excellency the Duke.”
“…Yes, you should. Don’t be afraid of the Duke. He isn’t a person who will harm you.”
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“……Yes.”He spoke well, without knowing he was a human being who would cause harm.
All he wanted was information about the Philemon family and Edlade’s weakness.
When the emperor announced the arranged marriage, it was Conzel who pushed and persuaded me to accept it.
Without knowing it, I believed Conzel, who told me to get out of the mansion that was tormenting me and start a new life.
“Have you heard anything from Duke Philemon?”
He smiled shyly and innocently without revealing his true feelings.
A smile came out more naturally because I knew that everything about Conzel, who once praised me as “good, Lily,” was false.
“I don’t meet him very often. Perhaps…… I don’t think he wants to meet me.”
“If the duke doesn’t come to meet you, you can go to meet him.”
“But how can I…”
“You are the most adorable child I know, and the Duke will think of you that way too. So, go ahead and see him.”
“It’s scary.”
As I trembled in fear, Conzel clicked his tongue briefly and stroked my hair.
“Lily, you’re a daughter of the Rayburn family. You’re more courageous than anyone, so you can get close to the Duke.”
Puck!
The desire to tear off his mouth blazed over me.
It’s so obvious, but why didn’t I know then?
It’s pathetic, I’m pathetic.
I can’t quit. I have to show myself as pathetic, stupid, and cowardly. Because I still can’t reveal my true nature to Conzel yet.
“I will try.”
I know he came here to pry useful information, but I repeated, ‘I will try,’ like a parrot, over and over again to get praised.
After more than three times asking me to find out, Conzel was leaving.
It was obvious that he would come back again after a week.
‘I think my head was going to rot.’
He stroked my hair recklessly.
My hair was messy, but it was fine. Because I terribly hated the part that had even the slightest contact with Conzel.
He also rubbed my shoulder that he had been pounding on.
The thin dress I was wearing was scratched with blood, but it was okay.
Next time, I will wear thick clothes and meet him. So that he can’t feel it even if he pats my shoulder.
‘Oh, I should wear a hat. He won’t be able to stroke my hair.’
I hated him that much.
When I met him, I wanted to tear off his limbs and kill him right away.
But I didn’t have the ability to do that, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure out anything if I pushed him now.
Conzel wasn’t the only one who pressured Edlade.
‘He’s a beast with no human heart! Well, this time. I must do it! I do it for Edlade.’
Even if Conzel plays with his words, he won’t take responsibility for what he did.
Conzel has never seen me as ‘Lily.’ From the beginning to the end, he only treated me like a dog that listened to him well.
“Whew… I’m out of energy.”
He stretched his drooping shoulders and headed back.
If she saw me like this, she would have freaked out and made a fuss.
When I went back to the mansion, I had to cheer up and prepare for tomorrow.
While I was looking at the garden on the way back to the mansion, I thought about taking a break? As soon as I thought of it, my body immediately took a seat on the garden bench. The spring season is near, but the wind was still a little chilly. The cold winter wind still seemed to blow from far away.
I leaned on the bench and looked up at the sky blankly.
The beast… That’s right, I was afraid of Edlade as a beast.’
A peek of laughter leaked out.
Fearing the duke of the rumor-filled empire, I always shivered to sleep in bed.
I was locking the door tightly in case he wanted to come and visit me.
Oh, I can’t do this.
I keep thinking of the memories I had with him.
I miss the one who loved me.
Then I would tell him that I love him unconditionally.
I want to see his smile that smiled more brightly than anyone else in the world at that single word that I said only once.
“I miss you…”
“Are you crazy?”
I could hear his voice when I said I missed him.
It seems that a desperate heart can even hallucinate.
“What is it?”
“Even if it’s an auditory hallucination, it would be nice if you could tell me something nice.”
“No, good words.”
“…I heard that a guest has arrived, have you experienced anything bad?”
“Okay! Words like that!”
It sounds like he is worried about me.
The real-time correction made my heart ache for nothing.
I hallucinated him while I was staring at the sky with an earnest desire to see his face.
What a hallucination!’
His appearance was so sudden that I opened my mouth slightly without realizing it.
I only knew that he had gone out after leaving the greenhouse earlier.
He is still in the mansion.
“…….. Did you see anything you shouldn’t?”
“It’s because I saw what I wanted to see.”
With that answer, I laughed like a fool.
Then Edlade’s face wrinkled as if he had been hit in the cheek.
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