Tonari no Seki no Moto Idol wa, Ore no Produce ga nai to Ikite Ikenai

Chapter 10: 10


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Chapter 10 – Unstoppable, Like The Real Thing

Early June. The filming of the movie to be shown at the school festival is in full swing.

In order to finish in time for the festival at the end of June, we asked everyone who was willing to participate in the filming process, and as soon as all the actors in a scene were ready, we started the process of filming the scene, but it did not go as well as I had imagined.

The script of 'Classmates', written by Kotono, is a mystery about the daily life of this class, Class 3 of the second year.

Therefore, most of the scenes are filled by the students who are in the class itself.

However, due to club activities and so on, we often didn't have enough time after school.

So, I asked them to be willing to give up some of their days off, and although the participation rate is not low thanks to Kasumi's encouragement, it is not always easy to get them all together because of their different schedules.

I was forced to ask Kotono to change some scenes that I couldn't manage────.

    "If you ask me to change a few more scenes again, I will cry, Kashiwagi-kun. You devil director!"

It seemed like she was already on the edge, and I was reprimanded.

In the end, Kasumi and I can only wait patiently for the others during this holiday period while we continue the editing process.

However, there will always be free time.

    "Ren-kun, let's play hide and seek."

At first, we just stared dazedly at the sky, but Kasumi, who seemed to be bored, finally said it.

    "At this age?"

    "Yup, that's right."

She looked serious and convinced me.

    "I bought a water gun when I went shopping for supplies, so if this hits you, you're out!"

    "Hee, you even prepared it, huh."

At first, I thought about refusing, but everyone had just finished their morning shoot and left, so there was only me, Kasumi, and Kotono, who was working on the script.

    "Kotono, we are going to play a chase with a water gun."

    "What the heck... Eh, no, I'll do it! The weather is very hot and humid, and it's like I'm going to die from this job, so if I can forget about adjusting the script a little..."

    "Huh, your eyes look lifeless. Like an undead."

    "Yeah, whose fault is that?!"

    "I am."

    "Ugh, that's even worse...! I will hit you with this water gun!"

Well, Kotono is indeed a bit of an idiot at moments like this.

She had no reason to refuse, so she gave Kasumi a thumbs up and said, "Ready!" and went to fill her gun with water.

How could the former top idol and class representative who represented 'Takane no Hana' be having fun with a hundred-yen water gun? That might be a bad way to put it, but it's really interesting to see.

    "Yosh, let's start!!!"

Ah, that's why they can be friends with me.

    "Kotono-chan! I won't give up."

    "Me too. I'm actually quite good at chasing, you know."

    "Fufufu, Miru is also trained in chasing. And this water cannon of mine has a double ammo!"

    "Huh, you use that!? You said you were strong, but you have no mercy right!?"

    "There is no mercy in this competitive world!"

I stood up and walked over to the two girls who had already shown me a good view by shooting water pistols at each other.

    "Well, can you beat me who carries two guns...?"

    "Isn't that unfair!? If this uniform is wet, I don't bring a change!!"

    "Well, we are all the same, Kotono-chan."

    "Yeah, yeah. As Kasumi said, there is no mercy in the world of competition."

    "Why are these festival committee members so excited? Ah, wait, don't point that here!"

This is so fun. The yell sounded good. Since it's come this far, it's better to just enjoy it, right!

By the way, this was not our plan, but it turned out to have a positive effect because the participation rate in the filming process increased after the photo of us playing a chase game together, which was taken by other classmates who joined in the afternoon, was sent to the class group.

 

***

 

On Monday, as I was changing my shoes at the entrance to the school, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

    "Good morning, Kashiwagi-kun."

The waving ponytail, the scent of this deodorant, she is Kotono.

    "Ah, good morning. You seem to be in a good mood this morning..."

    "Fufu. Seeing Mirufy on Saturday and Sunday at the same time was the best gift for me. Especially the memory of playing with water guns and chasing with Mirufy, I will never forget it until I die!"

    "It's great that you can hide your obsession from her."

    "Of course. We're just a shadow of that shining person."

Who are you calling 'we'? I'm fine with her.

Kotono was so open in front of me, but it was amazing that Kasumi really didn't notice it.

The festival is almost here, and thanks to the cooperation of my classmates, the filming went smoothly, and the only scene left was the one with Kasumi in it.

The movie we made, 'Classmates', tells the story of an everyday mystery that begins with a letter sent to the protagonist. She solves a small mystery in the classroom by discussing it with her classmates, and the culprit is a teacher who is a former student of the school who lost her classmates to illness in the past.

The teacher used to be a member of the Mystery Study Club, and she found the mystery left by her friend in the club room, and she thought it would be a pity if the mystery was allowed to rot.

Kasumi plays the daughter of a relative of her deceased classmate, who gives the protagonist an important final clue, a very important role even though she only appears in one scene.

    "Today we are going to start shooting the last scene played by Mirufy. I've put a lot of effort into this scene, so I'm really looking forward to it."

Kotono was very excited about this scene, and in fact the scene was simple, but it was played by Kasumi, who was very prominent.

When I first received the script, I couldn't help but laugh at the description she had written in great detail.

    "Oh yeah, the number of notes you gave for that scene alone is amazing."

    "That's okay, right. To make my idol shine, I will do whatever it takes, even if it means abusing my authority."

Kotono's face became a little more serious.

Perhaps this was her intention from the beginning when she applied for the position of scriptwriter.

...Her work is really in a class of its own.

Her work is really in a class of its own.

I'm afraid of her reaction when she finds out that me and Fuyu-nee are childhood friends.

 

    "Did you come here to ask for my help? Oh, about uncle. Why not just go in?"

After school. We finally started filming the Kasumi scene.

In an instant, the atmosphere in the classroom changed. She is very attractive. Her gaze, her gestures, everything.

I couldn't move, as if time had stopped, except around Kasumi.

    "...Ren-kun, cut?"

    "Ah, umm, yes, cut!!"

As usual, her voice finally started the flow of time again.

"Eh, that's great. It's amazing. As usual."

"Fufu. What's wrong with those words, Ren-kun. But I'm happy!"

Kasumi directed her 'peace' gesture at me.

Her cool and mature appearance before also looks like a lie when you look at it now.

    "Ah, you just had a disappointed look on your face, didn't you? That is it. You'd rather see my performance as a cool Onee-san, right?"

    "No, no, no. I never said that."

    "Your eyes can't lie. Kotono-chan, what do you think?"

    "Guilty."

    "Yup, yup."

    "Since when did this become a court?"

Dear Judge, it was a false verdict.

    "Next, you will read the letter from your uncle and hand over the key to the former Mystery Study Club room, which has been closed for a long time. We will film in the Tea Club room because the room is Japanese-style."

    "Eh, can I?"

    "Ah, Kotono has already asked them for permission before."

It is worth letting someone with a clean image negotiate the location. The right person for the right job.

    "In that case, let's move. Miru is a genius anyway, so I will carry out all of Ren-kun's directions correctly."

    "Ah, that's really helpful. Well, it looks like we can disband for today~~"

While the others replied casually and finally dispersed, Kotono was the only one to follow us, saying, "I'll come with you, okay". Obviously, she didn't want to miss Kasumi's performance in the slightest.

 

    "Cut! Okay, it's done."

In the Tea Club room, Kasumi completed the shooting smoothly and easily. She was even offered a cup of tea by the club members there, saying, "Since we finished it quickly, let's have tea together".

The problem is that Kasumi's acting is really genius.

────That girl's talent is cruelty.

Fuyu-nee's words suddenly came back to my mind.

My skill can't compete with that.

 

***

 

1:00 a.m. I was constantly moaning in front of my computer screen.

    "... Ah, should the picture be pulled a bit in this area? No, the composition should be fine. It's just that Kasumi's existence is too strong..."

Everyone must have known this, but Kasumi is a beautiful girl whose level is rarely seen in real life.

If it were just a matter of her physique, it would be easy to say that she is a key cast member with outstanding beauty, but if her acting is also good, our eyes will be all on her.

Since the filming of Kasumi's scene was finished earlier than I expected, I started editing the results of the movie from start to finish and watched it during the weekend break, but it turned out that the impact of Kasumi's existence was too strong.

With the current cuts, the focus of the movie is more on Kasumi than on the story, and the main character gets lost in the fog of the story. The mercy is that Kasumi is only in one scene, but I wonder if it's really a godsend, because it makes her stand out even more.

    "I can't go on like this..."

Caught in a dilemma, I tried to contact Kotono, who must be awake even at this late hour, but finally decided not to. I want to try a little harder to do it myself.

    "Sshh...!"

I tried to clear my sleep-deprived head. And I felt an adrenaline rush.

 

────In fact, time will not wait for us.

As a beginner in filmmaking, I don't know what to do in a situation like this.

Kasumi's every word and movement is so beautiful. Smooth, fragile. This skill of mine, which is still very amateurish, overwhelmed me. As if there was no direction from the director at all. It felt like the first time we met, like a spring storm.

I fell asleep without thinking about it, but it haunted me even in my dreams.

What I did was not enough. The heat inside of me that I had been maintaining with my energy was slowly fading away.

You are reading story Tonari no Seki no Moto Idol wa, Ore no Produce ga nai to Ikite Ikenai at novel35.com

It was as if my legs were stuck in the snow, slowly freezing, numb, and I lost my mind.

    "...This is so hard."

The festival is only one week away.

In the absence of a solution. After spending more time than I had imagined, I came up with the idea of drastically reducing Kasumi's cuts.

I'll just put one cut at the beginning and another one at the end as a conclusion.

But if I do that, I'll have to re-edit the movie, which is already 80% finished.

I don't know if I can finish it in time, or if that's really the right solution.

But I'm sure I can't go on like this.

After a day of worrying, I finally couldn't do anything and just lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling of my room. I just looked at my phone and watched these videos that didn't interest me very much, and the time went by.

And then a thought came to me.

I wonder if it's okay to keep the results like this.

Even though I've tried very hard, even though I've spent all my mind and time, I've reached my limit here.

I'm sure it wasn't bad for my first job.

I'm sure even Kasumi won't criticize me.

But I still felt frustrated, I didn't know what was frustrating me, and I couldn't move.

Just as I was thinking about it, my cell phone suddenly rang.

I answered it without looking at the screen, assuming that it was a call from Tadokoro in his free time.

    "Hello."

    "Hello, this is Miru."

Her voice made me jump.

    "What are you doing calling me at this hour?"

    "What do you mean, Ren-kun said you would send me the final version of the movie today. But since you haven't sent it to me yet, I called you, right?"

"...Ah."

So that's it. Sweat spread all over my body.

As I recall, I had told her that I would send her the final results in a week because the editing process would be almost complete by then. And that was about a week ago.

    "Okay, I'll send it now..."

I got out of bed, went to my desk and closed all the editing software I had open.

However, I suddenly stopped operating my computer.

    "...? Something wrong?"

If I send it to Kasumi now, it means that I really took this result for granted.

After thinking about it, my hand stopped clicking the send button.

Well, I've been hurt. I've tried, I've worked hard, I've been excited about it, and I've enjoyed it enough.

If I stop now, this will end up as a fond memory of the festival.

But still.

    "Hey, can we meet now?"

The words came out of my mouth in a weak voice.

 

***

 

At 7:00 p.m., the atmosphere in the park is very quiet.

Kasumi is already waiting for me on a park bench, wearing a simple T-shirt as her casual outfit.

    "Sorry to keep you waiting."

    "Mn. I came early because I took a taxi. I wasn't waiting that long anyway. So what can I do for you?"

Let's state my main purpose directly.

I took my eyes off Kasumi and somehow managed to let out the emotions I'd been avoiding all along.

    "Ah, you know. I, um, am pretty serious about making movies."

    "Mn."

    "At first I thought I'd be satisfied if it came to fruition, but now I want to make it a masterpiece, not just a finished product, and I keep thinking about how to make it better."

Kasumi smiled softly, nodded and laughed slightly.

    "I already know, even if you didn't have to tell me so politely. Because Ren-kun always looks sleepy and staggers in class all day long."

That calmed me down a bit.

And somehow, I managed to continue with my words.

    "But that's why I got scared. I couldn't sleep at night because I thought that what I had done with all my heart might have failed. Every night I dream. I dreamed that I would be blamed for destroying the efforts of everyone in the class."

I was afraid that someone would tell me that what I had done was not real, and I would feel despair.

I might not be able to do it, even though I've tried my best, even though I really like it so much that I can't stop, and even though I'm obsessed with it.

    "I was looking for something for a long time. And when I finally found it, I was afraid to admit that I liked it, and I didn't want to be disappointed by the result, or disappointed in myself."

That's right. I became very doubtful, unable to fully accept it or let it go.

    "And yet..."

The fiery fire in my heart was not extinguished.

The moment when I looked through my lens, when Kotono said she could no longer cut the script, when Kasumi read the script and edited it together to make it look better, all those moments...

    "Just shut up, you can still do it, right?"

Somewhere in my mind, I told myself that I might not be able to change even if I got hurt again.

But more than that, it bothers me so much that I will never give up.

I threw my fists on the bench as if to vent my frustration.

Kasumi saw that and smiled at me.

    "...Hey. How much longer are you going to play around, Ren-kun?"

    "...Eh?"

    "You've made up your mind, haven't you? You want to do it, don't you? Then do it. Ren-kun, you just have to see what's in front of you."

Then Kasumi said, "I taught you, right?".

    "Don't worry about what others will say or disapprove."

    "But this movie is not just for me. It's for everyone."

    "Why do you care so much about everything around you? There is only me and Ren-kun here right now."

I heard a 'ctack' sound in the back of my head.

    "Then. If someone tells Ren-kun not to obsess over it, can you stop? If I told you here that you have reached your limit, would you be satisfied with that?"

Ctack, Ctack, the sound of the clapping board echoed somewhere.

    "You can't stop yourself, so you called me, right?"

That's right. I always wanted to see that scene through the lens.

    "You can't stop it with your logic. Because you finally found it. Once you know it's the most fun, you can't stop. People who have already tasted that 'blazing feeling' will not be able to stop."

She smiled enchantingly as she said it.

    "If you really can't, then go. And if you want to, do it. That's it."

Because I can find all kinds of reasons to live without doing it.

Kasumi's voice became calm as the excess heat that had been burning in her eyes disappeared.

    "But if you still want to stop, for whatever reason, I won't stop you."

She didn't do it out of kindness, but it was her advice.

    "You don't have to force it, and if you don't want to get hurt, you can stay in your comfort zone forever. I won't say I'm disappointed."

Kasumi said as she stood up.

    "But I think you won't be able to stop, Ren-kun. Because you already found it."

Then she walked towards the exit of the park without looking back.

    "I'm looking forward to the movie!"

I can't stop. I can't stop.

The fire that spread from Kasumi made the small fire in me grow very strong.

    "I can't stop."

That's right. Because I always wanted to live like this, to do things seriously.

Suddenly my head became clear.

Relationships, evaluations, timing and other unnecessary things I don't think about anymore.

I ran home and quickly turned on my computer.

I also moved my mouse. That's how it is. I put everything I have into it. Don't give up.

Even if I don't come up with any ideas, squeeze them out of my brain.

Because the present me is still not enough.

    "..."

I opened the book on how to take pictures. I don't understand, but I don't want to stop. Even though my editing skills are poor, I can't suppress my desire to finish the movie. It's exciting.

I want to be more serious. I want to fall in love with the film.

Nothing else can stop this feeling, not with the audience, not with Kasumi, not even with myself!

Although the thing I had long expected turned out to be muddy, simpler, and rougher, I found myself smiling.

 

    "~~Yup! It's done!!!"

Overall, it's far from finished and still needs a few tweaks, but anyway, the prototype of what I really wanted to make is complete.

I added a bold cut to Kasumi's scene and sent her a version that I'd drastically reworked.

It took her only three seconds to read it.

    >(Miru): Thanks. I'll take a look at it right away.

    >(Ren): I didn't know you were up this late...

It's 5:00 in the morning. I haven't slept all night.

Thirty minutes later. I still wasn't sleepy at all and waited nervously for Kasumi's response. Then I heard a notification sound.

    >(Miru): Interesting.

Kasumi's response contained only one word.

And more than anything else, I was very, very happy till I shed tears.

With just that one word, I feel like I've been saved.

    "Damn it... What the hell is this?"

I couldn't stop crying.

I finally found what I had been looking for all these years.

I want to tell Kasumi in person tomorrow at school.

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