Chapter 9: 3.2

Maybe due to the weather, the streets were overflowing with couples. Sieon lifted his left hand and confirmed the time, then with a ‘hwek’ threw the cigarette he had been biting in his mouth to the ground.

“Excuse me, but what time is it now?”

As if she’d bathed in it, a woman who smelled intensely of perfume approached carefully. Between the straps of the pretty handbag hanging on her shoulder, one could see phone accessories, so it was an obvious trick. Behind the woman was a group, seemingly of her friends, sending her supportive gazes. When the man just looked her up and down without saying anything, the woman gained some confidence and came a bit closer. While Sieon briefly contemplated what to do with the woman who didn’t even know him, the main culprit caught his eyes.

“Idiot!!!”

“I’m sorry.”

His voice filled with anger also surprised the woman. Jaeyoon just bowed his head and apologized.

“How dare you make me stand here!!!”

Sieon strode ahead and came to stand before Jaeyoon. The smell that had tormented his nose disappeared and the fresh smell of soap slightly calmed his on edge nerves. I’m sorry. Jaeyoon apologized again.

“You made me stand in this damn place with all sorts of things, wasting 6 minutes and 42 seconds of my life? You want to leave the world like this? Wanna get buried? Cursed day when bloody fatsos are parading on the street! Ha Jaeyoon, you’re full of guts today, huh?”

The more the fellow’s shoulders drooped, the more he had the desire to press down.

The place also wasn’t right. Those bloody fatsos had kept traipsing back and forth in front of him for some kind of event, so if Jaeyoon had come even a little bit later, he might’ve gotten into a fight.

“Quickly spit it out.”

“What?”

“If it’s a trivial reason, I’ll throw you to the eighth lane.”

His eyes opening wide made him smile, but he pretended not to know.

“Wha..What?”

“The reason you made me stand here?”

“…”

“If you don’t speak in 10 seconds, 7. 8, 9!”

“We’re dating.”

“What about that?”

Unlike his blasé voice, Sieon was starting to see the fellow in a new light. He didn’t know what this fool was thinking when he received the text message. After all, he was a man who didn’t even know it was Christmas Eve. However, the reason he gave for meeting up was that they were dating. Since we’re dating, let’s meet? First of all, it seemed like [lover] was imprinted in this fool’s mind.

“That’s pretty daring, huh.”

He gave his first compliment, but he couldn’t be sure Jaeyoon properly accepted it since it was out of the norm.

He was ready, but seeing the looks of the restaurant Sieon went into, he gave up. ‘It’s really expensive here.’ At the restaurant’s classy atmosphere, Jaeyoon worried about his pocket’s situation first.

Since it was Christmas Eve, the restaurant had lit candles at every table to create a romantic atmosphere and there were luxurious carpets all over the floor, so you couldn’t even hear the footsteps of the waiters walking between the tables. The menu was also entirely in French, which made him unable to figure out what was what and stutter, so Sieon ordered everything himself. On the way here, it was impossible that his [You’ll pay for everything, right?] would be just empty words, so Jaeyoon had taken a lot of money out of his bank account, but it didn’t seem like it’d be enough. He wanted to cancel the food he’d ordered by calling the waiter who’d taken the order earlier.

“Stop looking around. Do you want to show off that you’re a country bumpkin?”

“…….”

“You couldn’t possibly have planned to take me to a place like a snack bar in front of a school, did you?”

I don’t want to hear such words from you, who brought a poor student not earning money to this expensive restaurant! He was preparing to say so from deep within his throat, but endured it and the words didn’t leave his mouth. It was him who’d asked Sieon on a date and he didn’t plan on freeloading either. Both were men and the cause of defeat was that he had only made a very sloppy plan for the first date, so it was only fair he paid for it. He didn’t expect the difference to be this bad. What making progress? Bullshit! If only he could turn back time to before he had sent the text, Jaeyoon thought, he’d have no other wishes.

Reality hit him as soon as the food began to come out. He’d feel sorry if the chef who’d decorated the food so appetizingly heard this, but he really didn’t want to see it.

“Eat. Are you holding a memorial service?”1

“…….”

When he just poked the food with the tip of his fork and didn’t eat, Sieon urged. There was some fun in teasing him, whose round eyes seemed to say, This is really, really expensive, right?

“I’ll pay. So eat.”

“!!-”

“Instead-”

When he blurted out those words as he was cutting the well-done steak into pieces, Jaeyoon’s face, which had brightened for a moment, hardened.

“You know Give & Take2, right?”

Jaeyoon, his fork and knife suspended in mid-air, looked at Sieon. The man was gesturing with his eyes for Jaeyoon to eat quickly, but his instincts were telling him that he shouldn’t do it without knowing what the price was. He gave it some thought and decided he really wanted to open up that handsome head which was smiling so mischievously and have a look inside. It was like every second was a fight for survival for the lover; no matter how unlike a normal relationship theirs was, this was a little too much.

What was it he wanted?

Between Jaeyoon, who would be a normal college student, and a prospective prosecutor who’d be doing well in the future, there was going to be a difference in the days to come. What he wanted couldn’t be of a material nature, because Sieon was well-aware of their gap. Then he could only look for something which required his body. Cleaning was out, because he’d visited just recently and had made the house sparkling clean.

He wouldn’t ask me to cook, would he?

Unlike cleaning, which was hard work, cooking required delicate actions and was impossible for Jaeyoon, who’d grown up as a normal Korean boy. He only knew how to make ramyun and heat up food in a microwave, so let’s put that on hold.

Looking after Soonsoon?

He sometimes did that without even realizing, so there wasn’t really any reason to put conditions on it. The appetizing food in front of him made his mouth water, but enduring and not touching it, Jaeyoon understood what [pie in the sky] truly felt like.

Sieon was having fun since he could almost hear the wheels spinning in Jaeyoon’s head. He’d never seen such an innocent fellow. It was almost ridiculous how dense (he was). It was amusing how that fool could come all this way after just that one action.

At Sieon’s urging, Jaeyoon had given him a glass of coke. That was really fatal to him. Sieon had long been well-aware that the sweet brown liquid made him extremely helpless/pliable. Having strong pride, Sieon couldn’t stand that damned state in which he couldn’t say no to any request. He became a dumb fool with a smiling, relaxed expression which he had the overwhelming desire to smack off his own face. Moreover, whenever he woke up and remembered that situation in vivid detail, his sense of defeat knew no limits. That was why there was no one who survived after witnessing it. No, they didn’t even know the reason. Except for this dimwit facing him.

Sieon thought the reason why Jaeyoon was still alive despite knowing the truth was likely because of that ridiculous denseness of his. No matter how threatened one is, they wouldn’t have the morals to date a man; Sieon didn’t understand the guy who agreed to keep the promise that had almost been coerced. And once given a position, the rigidity of sharing obligations also seemed foolish. However, what was clear was that this image of Jaeyoon was very new and felt strange.

His feeling of displeasure grew for a moment, but seeing Jaeyoon’s tilted head and the expression on his face, like his gears were zealously turning in his mind, he calmed down again. Whirr whirr, his eyeballs were rolling. Whenever Jaeyoon tilted his head, his thoughts were so transparent that Sieon could grasp every last one.

Think for a hundred days.

Like a lion with a full belly, seeing the other one so worried about the carrot he was clutching in his hand getting taken away, Sieon felt it laughable. Have you seen a lion eating carrots?

He picked up the wine glass and made a toast to Jaeyoon, who looked like he’d soon burst from capacity overload. Then, Jaeyoon’s pale skin turned red in an instant, as if burned by fire.

Tsk, tsk, dimwit. You’re a man and it took you this long to think of it.

“Should we book a hotel?”

At Sieon’s joke, Jaeyoon dropped his fork. As he leaned over to pick it up from under the table, he bumped against the plate. A quick-witted waiter swiftly brought him a new fork and walked away with the one that had fallen.

Jaeyoon confirmed his conjecture was right at the ‘hotel’ remark. This eccentric [lover] wanted the same thing as other ordinary lovers.

Sex.

Although he didn’t remember it clearly, they’d already done it, but he still felt afraid for some reason.

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That time was sudden so he didn’t really know what was what and fell for it, but he wasn’t confident about what would happen if he got into that situation again with this man, who made the air vibrate with his distinctive presence just by sitting in front of him. Knowing full-well that Sieon wouldn’t listen even if he refused, Jaeyoon nodded with a flushed face, somewhat servile, terrified of saying no. To be honest, he thought it’d be fine as long as this person, who was 10000 years away from common sense, didn’t make him do anything weird.

Oho, look at this.

Sieon gave Jaeyoon a piercing stare. That blatant gaze made him redden up to his nape, but Jaeyoon tried to pretend he was composed. Although he may be a coward, he didn’t want to seem like one. Comparing himself with this person was already foolish in itself, but he didn’t want to feel any smaller.

Since he had decided to date him, and since it was the first relationship in his life, he wanted to do it properly. Although he didn’t know what ‘properly’ was, Jaeyoon thought that at least it wouldn’t be just blindly following what the other told him to do.

From Sieon’s point of view, Jaeyoon was a child with a strong sense of responsibility who saw whatever task he was given to the end.

“Quickly, eat. Let’s cheer up,” Sieon added, and the knife cutting the meat missed, making a squeaky and unpleasant noise.

Jaeyoon chewed thoroughly so he wouldn’t end up with an upset stomach. He was normally someone whose eating speed was slow – even during lunchtime at school, the bell would always ring when he’d just finished brushing his teeth. From the tension, that speed slowed down even more, but Sieon waited patiently. The table was awkwardly silent throughout the meal, and all you could hear was the clashing of tableware.

“I was joking, so collect yourself.”

“Eh?”

“Are you going to die?”

“…….”

“There is no time to go to a hotel. We have to leave right after eating.”

“Ah-.”

“Feeling relieved?”

“N-No.”

“Forget it if not, then.”

Sieon said, and looked out the window. He was already drinking the coffee that was given for dessert. Realizing he had been eating too slowly until then, Jaeyoon hurriedly started pushing the meat in. After Sieon had said to go to a hotel, he’d been too nervous to register anything happening around him. But it had been a joke.

He hadn’t known Sieon could tell jokes, but it was also the first time he’d changed the words he’d already spat out. Him not having time should be true. Then, did he split the time he didn’t have in half and show up?

“I’m sorry.”

Jaeyoon set down his fork and drank water. With a nod, he called over the waiter who wanted to bring the dessert and refused it, wiped his mouth and informed them the meal would end there. Sieon wordlessly rose from his seat and headed for the counter to pay. True to his words, taking out his card and paying for it, he said as if he’d just thought of it, “Ah, it was a reservation once.” He left mysterious words behind.

After exiting the restaurant, he adjusted the collar of his coat. Even if it was Christmas Eve, the winter cold was unavoidable. As soon as Sieon turned on the handphone he took out of his pocket, the noisy ringtone rang loudly.

“Freak.”

Flipping it open, Sieon cursed at the caller.

“Only 40 minutes passed. Is the sky falling, why are you going nuts?!”

It was the complete opposite of how he shouted loudly on the main street just because he’d waited for 6 minutes. Indeed, he was a self-centered, willful person.

“Let me eat some food, too. Aren’t I also a human being?”

Standing next to him and listening, Jaeyoon staggered a little with the shock that the other thought of himself as a human being. Sieon said, ‘I’m going now’ with a frown on his face and walked briskly with big strides to the parking lot.

“What are you doing, standing like an idiot?!”

“If you’re busy, go first.”

As he couldn’t take any more of his time, Jaeyoon said goodbye then. It had been a text message which he could have just ignored, so he felt grateful to the guy who showed up even though he had another appointment.

However, ‘Don’t waste time!’, he fiercely said with a frown, so Jaeyoon followed him to the parking lot.

Thud-

Someone weakly fell as they bumped into each other.

“I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Jaeyoon had been walking properly so it was the fault of the person who’d hit him, but he couldn’t just pass by as if he hadn’t seen the other person had fallen. He smelled faintly of alcohol, but didn’t seem too drunk. However, Jaeyoon was worried because his untidy clothes and staggering movements told him the man wasn’t in good condition. When he reached out his hand to help the fallen man to his feet, the other hit it away.

“You bitch, how long has it been since I said I like you? I was so good to you and this is all I get from you!!”

“…….”

Unfortunately, he must have gotten his heart broken on Christmas Eve. Jaeyoon stood there for a while, then remembered Sieon who was waiting for him, and turned back. But the drunkard sitting on the ground, muttering to himself, grabbed Jaeyoon’s pants and wouldn’t let go.

“Tell me, what do you not like about me? What’s so good about that bastard?”

When the man started to sob, Jaeyoon was in an awkward position.

“Excuse me, look-”

“Miyeon-ah, I can’t live without you. You know it. So how can you ditch me?”

Now, after the man caught him and started crying, Jaeyoon couldn’t do anything and was flustered. He couldn’t just push him, the man he was facing seemed to be in a bad situation at the moment; he couldn’t shake him off coldly, but he also couldn’t keep on listening to the endless complaints of a stranger.

“We were really good (together). We dated for 4 years. How could you forget it all at once?”

“It’s cold here, don’t do this.”

He wasn’t just saying it, it really was cold. He didn’t know how long the man had been like this, but his hands were cold as ice. Jaeyoon patted his shoulders, and said it in a persuasive tone when, suddenly, the man raised his head.

“Who are you? You’re the one who stole Miyeon!!”

“Eh?”

“Tell me, where is Miyeon?!”

“Ah, Exc… Excuse me.”

“Say it! Fuck! I said, tell me!!!”

He seemed to be too drunk. The man who had drunk so much he couldn’t tell people apart hit Jaeyoon’s jaw in a fit of rage. When the man wanted to punch the stumbling Jaeyoon again, a fist flew out of nowhere.

Bam!!-

“You want to know so bad?”

The icy, dangerous voice gave Jaeyoon goosebumps.

TN:

1) Jesa – it is a ceremony commonly practiced in Korea. Jesa functions as a memorial to the ancestors of the participants. Jesa are usually held on the anniversary of the ancestor’s death. To perform ancestor rituals, the family at the eldest son’s house prepares many kinds of food such as wine, taro soup, beef, fish, three different colored vegetables, many kinds of fruits, and rice cake or songpyeon, particularly those that were favored by the deceased. The shinwi (신위, 神位) or memorial tablet, which symbolizes the spiritual presence of the ancestor, is placed at the center of the table. In modern days, the daughter or younger son of the family may perform these rites. source

2) Give&Take – in English in original text

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