As I lie here on the ground covered in my own torrent of blood I have realized something. I have realized that dying is extremely painful. It would be hard to describe the pain to someone else who hasn’t experienced it. Think of the worst pain imaginable and multiply it by 10. Well at least that is how it feels to me. Maybe if I had died instantly it wouldn’t be so bad, but that is not the case for me. To understand how I ended up in a pool of my own blood I have to think back a bit.
My name is Evelynn, and I am a 19 year old college student. My parents both died when I was young; therefore, I have no memories of them. I don’t mourn the fact that my parents died because I was taken care of by both of my grandparents. Sadly my grandfather died just 2 years ago, and now the only person I am close to is my grandmother. She is the one who has been paying my way through college, and I don’t think I could ever repay her for everything she has done.
While attending university I got a job at a local convenience store to at least help take some of the load off of my grandma. My schedule mostly consists of going to college and then working afterwards. Most days I am barely able to get 5 hours of sleep due to my busy schedule, and I even work on the weekends. My grandma will often call me, and tell me that I don’t need to work so much. Even so I still sacrifice most of my time for work or school.
There are people at school who try to befriend me, but I usually ignore their advances. I didn’t want to get close to anyone because of my shyness, and the fact that I wouldn’t have time for them. The few hours that I do get free time on the weekends are playing online games or talking to my grandmother. The types of games that I would play are MMORPG’s. I loved the freedom that came with playing those types of games. It would also serve as my only release from work, school, and stress. It was the so-called “escapism” from the daily struggles. I would almost always play as some type of mage or witch, and it was truly fun; however, it also led to my early demise.
I was a solo player, and I was pretty good at the games I played. I was never in the top of the players, but I was better than the average player. A lot of the games were paid to win, or it would be a major time sink to be able to get the best late game experience. I didn’t really like that you had to pay to win in a lot of the games, and I myself never bought anything. I also couldn’t dump all of my time into the games, but I had a few max level characters in some of the games because I could play more often when I was in highschool.
While playing one of my favorite games a few months ago a player character in the game reached out to trade with me. This was a normal event in most mmo’s, but what happened afterwards was not normal. After trading a few items with this guy he started to try and get closer to me. I told him that I am not really interested in becoming his friend, but he wouldn’t leave me alone until I finally blocked him. The harassment didn’t stop there though, eventually he followed me into another game.
He somehow found out my username in another game and followed me there. I had to block him in every game that I played for the harassment to finally stop. I thought that would be the end of it, and it was for a few weeks until I started to get emails. I didn’t know it was him at first, but eventually it became clear when he said “Do you remember me from the game?”
When he asked me, I immediately blocked his email address. I thought that would be the end of it, but then came the text messages. I had to block his phone number as well, but he started to call me with different numbers on the weekends I would be playing games. Once it became like this I had no choice but to call the police; however, they said unless the guy actually does anything then there is nothing they could do.
I didn’t tell my grandma because I knew I would only cause even more trouble for her and worry her. I had also decided that I was probably worried for nothing because he didn’t know my address; however, the next week that fact would be proven to be incorrect. I soon found out that he shared one of my classes at the same college.
He approached me at college, and I thought it was just another random person who was trying to start up a conversation after class. I told him “sorry I am not really interested in talking to people right now because I am too busy.” It was my normal response to people who would try talking to me. It seemed like he took the hint though as he left without saying anything.
The next day though he showed up at the convenience store that I worked at, and he asked me if he could walk me home after work. I thanked him for the generous offer, but I told him that I would be fine. He left again without saying anything, and the next day I would realize that he was the stalker from those games.
When I was working at the convenience store the next day he showed up again. After I thanked him for his purchase he said “Your voice is just as beautiful as I remember from the game.” I was confused at first when he left after saying those words, but when I got home everything became clear to me. I realized that this man, and the stalker online were the same person, and with that realization came a sense of dread.
The following week he would often try to approach me at my job or at the college, but I would always tell him as nicely as I could to leave me alone. Surprisingly after I told him to leave me alone he would always go away. I decided it would be okay as long as he only approached me at school or at work, but yesterday he finally showed up to my house.
It was Saturday after I got off work, and I was playing one of my favorite games like usual when I suddenly heard the doorbell of my dorm ring. I got up and after looking through the peephole my face filled with horror as I saw him. I tried to pretend like I wasn’t home, but that didn’t work as he called out to me. “I know you are in there. I was thinking maybe we could play some games together, so I came over.”
“Please leave me alone! I already told you many times to leave me alone, but you still won't listen! You even came over to where I live! If you don’t leave me alone I will call the police!” I yelled out to him through the door, and I observed what he would do through the peephole as I started to dial 911. To my surprise he walked away just like that, but just to be sure I still called 911 to inform the police. Yet again they said they could really do anything about it unless I filed a restraining order.
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After what happened yesterday I couldn’t really sleep, so I distracted myself by playing games all night. I went to work exhausted, and my boss told me to go home, noticing my exhaustion. I tried to tell them that I could still work, but no matter how I pleaded they said I should go home. They even said that since I was such an outstanding employee they would pay me for my work today just this once while I was home. I reluctantly accepted their offer and headed home early.
Once I got home I immediately fell asleep as soon as I laid on my bed. It was the first time in ages since I slept so long. I had set an alarm, but I was so tired that I slept through it. I ended up waking up at 8pm, and I knew that I would not be able to go to sleep tonight. I slept 10 hours afterall.
I started to make myself dinner, but then I heard my doorbell ring. I hoped it was someone else, but deep down I knew it could only be one person. I walked up to the peephole to look out, and as I saw his face I felt a sharp pain in my stomach followed by a loud bang. I instantly collapsed to the floor onto my back. I looked down at my stomach and there was a hole. It was clear that the stalker had shot me. He yelled something on the other side of the door, but I couldn’t make it out as my ears were ringing.
Now I lie here bleeding to death. I think I heard the guy on the other side of the door leave a while ago. I tried to move earlier, but I couldn’t. I have just been lying here bleeding for a while now, and the only thing that I can think is that it hurts. I can hear sirens coming from a distance, but I don’t think my consciousness will last until the ambulance arrives. I can already feel myself falling to sleep.
Tears start to feel my eyes as I realize I won’t be able to pay my grandma back for everything she has done for me. “I am so sorry grandma. I wish I could have said goodbye. I wish you could hold me one last time. I wish… I could have…said…I love…”. My voice trailed off as I closed my eyes for the last time and my mind went blank.
I don’t know how long my mind went blank for. It could have been seconds or it could have been hours, but eventually I started to hear a soft feminine voice. “I am sorry. After being such a diligent and hard worker to have died so young…”
I started to hear sobbing, but I couldn’t open my eyes or mouth. There was no way to respond. I wanted to ask where I was, or who she was but I couldn’t speak. She started to speak again instead.
“I am also sorry you had to suffer such a painful death. By my authority I will delete those painful memories.”
I felt a weird sensation, and after that I felt something leave me. Then my eyes started to blink open. Once my eyes were fully opened I could see a small girl in front of me. The small girl was wearing a white dress and everything around us was white. When I looked at her she smiled at me. Every second that I looked at her I started to lose something within my existence, but it didn’t feel painful. Eventually I started to speak.
“Where am I? Who are you? Actually, do you know who I am?” I tried to think about it, but I had no memory of who I was. I don’t know this person either. Do I know anybody? I feel like there was someone. In response to my questions she just smiled before speaking.
“I am sorry that I cannot answer your questions, but just know that you have died. Sadly you cannot go back to the place you were before, but you will be receiving a new life. I will do the best within my power to make sure that your new life will be a happy one. You liked games in your past life, so I think you will find your new life enjoyable.”
Oddly, I didn't feel confused by her words. My mind was in a surreal calm state. Every word she spoke only left me feeling calm. It was like my very existence was engineered to trust this person’s every word. If I had to describe it, it was like a child believing in their parents. After that she spoke again.
“Our time here is running out, and when you next wake up you will find yourself in an unfamiliar world. You will receive a gift from me to help you in your next life. I am sorry that I can’t explain anything more.” After that she snapped her finger and my vision went blank again.
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