Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

Chapter 8: 1-8 Dedication


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Stahlia Three Years Old, First Month, 940

Presently I was standing in the village square near the front entrance of the temple with a cacophony of other three-year-olds all squealing with excitement at the coming event. For my part, I was filled with a sense of existential dread and impending doom. It was the fifth day of the first month of my third year in this world. On this day every year, all the children who turned three in the previous year are ushered into the temple to learn about their religious duties and have their class and status appraised by the clergy. I had been so busy with my apprenticeship and learning to defend myself that I had completely wasted the chance to come up with a plan for when my secret was exposed. I sighed and reviewed my status for probably the fiftieth time today.

Life Summary Screen:

Life Point Balance: 45

Name/Age: Stahlia, 3

Gender: Female

Class/Level: Custom Class, 1 Experience: 0/1000

Species: Human (Pureblood)

Social Strata: Fallen Noble House (Despita, Drakas Kingdom)

Starting Gift: Small Seed [LOCKED]

Ability Values:

  • Strength C: 15 (50)
  • Endurance B: 21 (70)
  • Dexterity A: 30 (100)
  • Intelligence S: 150 (150)
  • Charisma B: 21 (70)
  • Mana B: 21 (70)

Fighting Style: Shadow Blade [Swap Style]

Talents 1/1: [Browse Talents] Prodigy I*, Monster Handling I*, Dagger Fighting I* Unarmed Fighting I*

Skills 1/1: [Browse Skills] Divine Authority[Class Features]*, Language Proficiency[Central Human]*, Fighting Style[Shadow Blade]*

Talents Experience:

Prodigy 436/1000

Monster Handling 630/1000

Dagger Fighting 374/1000

Unarmed Fighting 81/1000

I can’t imagine what will happen when they discover my class is “Custom Class”. Based on what I know from when I made this character, I’m probably the only person in this world that has that… I bet I’ll be disowned and forced into some papal research program where I will be tortured as a witch and vivisected to find out how I got this power. It wasn’t like I had been wasting my time these past years, all things considered, I had made some real progress.

Starting from when I first got my dagger, Jacqueline had been training me in how to use it, which had eventually culminated in me receiving the “Dagger Fighting I” talent. That talent provided a positive correction to my accuracy when fighting with a dagger, I had noticed a significant improvement to my hit rate since acquiring it. I was also learning unarmed fighting techniques, but due to my size, I hadn’t progressed as far as I had with dagger fighting.

Apparently, the style Jacqueline was teaching me was “Shadow Blade”, when I asked her about it, she clammed up and refused to provide any details. Still, by making Shadow Blade my active fighting style I got some nice bonuses to my dodge ability and sneak score. I could freely swap out what style I was using to get a different set of bonuses, but since I had only learned the one that was a moot point.

I had also somewhat figured out how to get experience to level up my “Prodigy” talent as well as had a working understanding of how I was meant to obtain more Life Points. From what I had observed, I got Prodigy experience by literally being a prodigy; at my weekly alchemy lessons with Sven, whenever I introduced a technique I learned in Earth chemistry I would get some prodigy experience. Of course, it only happened when that technique wasn’t used in this world. As for my Life Points, it seemed I got about ten whenever I had a birthday and got a variable amount when I learned a new skill via training it up from zero.

Of course, none of that information would address the issue at hand. I closed the menu as the gates to the church swung open. I hung back and watched as the troop of chimpanzees colloquially referred to as “children” marched up into the building. They were dressed to the nines from what I could tell, their parents were using this opportunity to demonstrate the full range of the assets available to their house. The normal parents of course. My alchemy work had brought in a windfall for my parents, and we could now afford to live at a similar level to a minor noble house, but we refrained from doing so; I was still a secret so they couldn’t very well use the money they got from my abilities freely.

My own dress was nice of course, but it was still a dress. I had begged my mother to let me wear a nice pair of trousers and a linen shirt like the boys were wearing ahead of me, but she got a funny look in her eye and outright refused. I hope they don’t expect me to go gaga for fashion trends as I get older. My mother reached down from behind me and fussed with the bow that was holding my hair back before giving me a little push forward, “Stahlia, everyone will be waiting for us.” I sighed and ascended the steps of my fate.

Entering the temple, I chanced a brief look around; I was a little curious and figured that if I was about to face the raven that I may as well enjoy the scenery. The interior of the building was… dull. Far from the vaunted roman catholic inspired halls typical of high fantasy, it reminded me of the interior of the Methodist church my Earth parents had attended. There was a short hallway that opened up into a wide room lined with rows of pews. The back of the room had an unadorned stone altar in front of which sat a pulpit that was really more of a lectern. The back of the room had a pair of small doors on the left and right that presumably led to the clergy-only sections.

All of the other children were standing in the middle of the room in small clusters, while their parents took a seat in one pew or another. My own parents gave me another push, I had stopped walking to look around and moved to a large pew near the front of the room. I made my way to the outskirts of the mass of child flesh and crossed my arms while I waited for the ceremony to commence.

A group of toddlers about five strong seemed to take interest in me for some reason, and they made their way over to me. “Hi! My name’s Giogi!” Their leader’s voice was shrill and nasally. It made my skin crawl to listen too. I looked over the boy who had spoken and waited to see if he would leave. He had a somewhat dull-looking face with blue eyes that were seemingly the norm in this region, the most visually stunning part of his appearance was his strikingly red hair. When he remained in front of me, I sighed and gave him a polite curtsy like my mother had drilled into me.

“My name is Stahlia Rosialsdaughter, to what do I owe the pleasure?” I was doing my best to diplomatically insinuate that he was a bother.

“My ma said you were weird! You sure talk funny dontcha?” Apparently, his mother knew me. And what does he mean I talk funny? Sure my speech is extremely articulate, but wouldn’t a toddler still be struggling to put two sentences together? I get that kids grow up fast if they marry by the age of fifteen, but this seems a bit much… maybe the intelligence stat helps out with learning language faster… questions for later. I tried running a mental list of all the adults I knew and then shortened it to all the adults who would have cause to consider me “weird”. It was a shortlist, and other than my mother, there were no women on it.

“Your mother believes me to be abnormal? I have not the faintest idea as to whom you are referring. May I trouble you for your mother’s name?” The boy blinked at me and turned to his friends.

“Sark, ya think she sounds funny too right?” I was morbidly curious as to who he was, truthfully this boy’s identity was the biggest issue on my mind right now. I looked the group over again and shrugged before turning my attention back to the altar area.

The boy frowned at me. Evidently, he didn’t like being dismissed, but as he was opening his mouth to say some more drivel, the door on the right swung open and an extremely well-fed man dressed in the robes of a priest entered the main hall. The priest was followed by a quartet of men bearing a large chest behind them that they set behind the altar. The boy rolled his eyes and returned with his goon squad to their original spot, leaving me blissfully alone.

The priest took his place behind the lectern and raised his hand to silence the room. Once the remaining chatter had quieted down, the priest lowered his hand and cleared his throat, “Ahem. Parents of Ris village who have brought your children before me today, in this holy place, I thank you in the name of the gods. It is the duty of we who walk the earth for mere moments to propagate and thus continue the legacy of the divine beings, and you have done your duty well.”

The priest surveyed the cluster of children standing in front of him, “Listen well, you who would inherit the world, for it is my duty and purpose to guide and instruct you into your first steps on the path to fulfill your divine calling. Hear now and bear witness to the roles of the twelve above, engrave their purposes into your hearts that through their stories you may find your own strength of purpose."

Internally I let out a long sigh. What a long-winded man. I thought I was just going to have my secrets be revealed, but apparently, I have to endure a crash course in religious doctrine 101 first… hurry up already!

The priest beckoned for one of the men behind him to come forward. The man stepped up and placed a large leather-bound book onto the lectern-cum-pulpit. Obese Priest took out a key from around his neck and unlocked a clasp on the book before opening it to the first page. You better not be planning to read that whole thing while I’m forced to stand here!

The priest took a deep breath and began reading. “In the beginning, while the world was formless and void of anything we would recognize as life, there was one being. The Creator God looked out upon the formless wastes, and he saw that it lacked purpose. The creator sought to rectify and to give this empty realm purpose. In one breath he blew away the void and with one swipe of his arm, he scattered the stars into the sky. But it was not yet with purpose. With two breathes he scattered dust upon the world, and with two swipes he placed the clouds in the sky. But it was not yet with purpose. With three breaths, he scattered seeds upon the land, and with three swipes he dug out the great three oceans. But it was still without purpose. With four breaths he imbued the land with wind, and with four swipes he brought forth the spirits. But the spirits too lacked purpose. With five breathes he blew the dust into shape and set animals out to walk the world he had made. With five swipes he placed the borders of the five great lands and bade the animals inhabit them. But there was still something lacking, the world was a beautiful paradise, but there were none to appreciate its beauty with the Creator. With six swipes he collected the dust of the land, the air of the sky, the water of the great oceans, the mana of the spirits, and the fire of creation wrought from his own flesh and molded them into three shapes. Then with six breathes, he imbued the shapes with ego and granted unto them life. Thus, were born the three pure races; Humans, Dwarves, and Elven kind.”

The priest paused and surveyed the children while he caught his breath. This story sounds oddly familiar… didn’t God back on Earth create everything in “Six days and Six nights?” I bet something happened with “Seven Breathes and Seven Swipes”. The priest seemed keen to confirm my suspicions because he promptly continued the story.

“The Creator God looked out upon his world and was content. ‘This world now has a purpose.’ But it soon came to pass that the Creator grew longing. He had created the three perfect races with the capacity to love one another and bear children, but the Creator God could not share this luxury, for there was none like him, he was alone. And so the Creator God decided to fashion for himself an equal, someone with whom to share his purpose. With seven breathes he prepared himself. The spirits saw what he was doing and cried out. ‘God our Father, we are like you! We are beings without time and purpose! Are we not enough for you?’ but the Creator shook his head; ‘No, you have each other. I am alone.’ The spirits cried and gnashed their teeth, but the Creator God would not hear them. As the Creator God began to swipe at his own essence, the spirits grew desperate. In their desperation, the Spirits committed a grievous sin and rebelled against their father. As his seventh swipe fell down upon himself the spirits attempted to restrain him, but they were weak and only succeeded in driving the seventh swipe askew.”

“The Creator God cursed the spirits for their foolishness, and took back from them their purpose, ordering them to journey the world until they found one for themselves. It was too late for the Creator God to save himself; the seventh swipe had split his power and being in two and he was no more. In his place was a man, and a woman. Neither were mortal and yet neither were fully God. The man and woman lacked purpose and memory, but they looked upon the world and they found purpose.”

“‘I shalt steer the sun and provide warmth to these children of the Creator God who did not rebel against their purpose, that whilst be mine own purpose.’ Thus spoke the woman.”

“Her brother looked out unto the world. ‘Then I shall pilot the moon and give these children of the Creator God a chance to rest from their work that they may look forward to fulfilling their purpose again when you return.’ In this manner, the Goddess of Light and the God of Darkness, true children of the Creator God born of his body and power, found their own purpose.”

Again, the priest took a break from reading to survey the children. I followed his example and saw that a scant few of them were still, listening with rapt attention. Most others were fidgety, clearly bored with the story. Notably, the ruffian who had accosted me was one of the latter. He was glancing around the room clearly desiring to be anywhere but here. When he noticed me looking at him, he quickly averted his eyes and started playing with his fingers. The priest cleared his throat again and I politely returned my attention to him. It wasn’t that I found the lore information about the world’s history interesting or anything, I was just being polite.

“And so, the days became weeks. The weeks became years. The years became centuries and then millennia. In this manner, an eon passed. After an uncountable length of time, the Dark God came to the Goddess of Light and entreated her. ‘Sister who is born of my father’s flesh, I grow weary of piloting the moon. Let me take over the sun for a span, that I may experience your purpose.’ The Goddess of Light denied her brother.”

“‘Brother who is of my father’s flesh, I cannot give you the sun. My purpose is my purpose and your purpose is your purpose.’ The Dark God gnashed his teeth and shook his fists, but the Goddess of light would not heed his request.”

“In desperation, the God of Darkness bade the moon; ‘Cover the sun, we do not need my sister’s permission to take her purpose.’ So it was that the moon covered the sun and darkness fell upon the world for seven days and seven nights. In the darkness, the perfect races lost sight of their purpose; they turned feral and wrought war upon each other, unleashing their magic upon brothers and fathers. Thus were born the monsters, beasts twisted by rampant magic, they know only of war and destruction.”

“In the darkness, the women became mad and mothered the children of beasts. Thus were formed the demi-humans; a perversion of the perfect children of the Creator God born out of darkness and without purpose. The Dark God looked upon the world and wept. ‘Sister who is of my father’s flesh, what have I done! I sought to steal your purpose and have destroyed our father’s legacy.’”

“The Goddess of Light looked upon the world and wept with her brother. ‘Come, my brother, we may not have our father’s power, but surely we shall correct the world if we but work together.” So it was that the God of Dark and Goddess of Light came together. They called upon the first children, the spirits, and bade them help restore the purpose of the world. The spirits scoffed at them. ‘You are of our Father’s flesh, and yet you would deny your purpose. We will not help you.’ The spirits fled the world to the distant places and avoided the chaos that was wrought.”

I was enthralled by the story, but I couldn’t help drawing a few parallels from my outside knowledge. Namely, the company that put me in this world was called “Gods of Creation” not “God of Creation”. I had a feeling that the religious doctrines were not an entirely accurate account of the world, whether that was malicious or ignorant I couldn’t tell. Still, if spirits are the oldest existence, maybe I should try and find one of them and ask some questions. I wonder where those “distant places are”. Also, the moon covering the sun, that’s got to be a solar eclipse, but seven days and seven nights is a long time for one of those. Either the orbital mechanics are literally controlled by gods, or that’s just religious symbolism. It looked like the priest was preparing to continue, so I bit off my line of thought and listened, a lot closer than I had been at first.

“The Dark God and the Goddess of Light, without the aid of the spirits, watched on in horror as the monsters and demi-humans wrought ruin upon the world. After an age had passed, they could bear it no longer. ‘Brother who is of my Father’s flesh, let us descend upon the world and seek those who bear a strong purpose.’ The Dark God agreed with his sister and so the two descended and sought out those of the perfect races who had a strong purpose. They gathered seven men and women to whom they granted a portion of their own divinity. The seven used the power they had been bestowed and drove back the monsters. They subjugated the Demi-human abominations and built a great kingdom in which the people worshiped them as savior gods.”

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“The Goddess of Light and the God of Dark descended once more to reclaim their divinity, but the Seven would not return it. They had been consumed by their pride, their greed, their lust envy, gluttony, wrath, and slothfulness. Their power brought them whatever they desired and so they would not return it. In a rage, the Dark God bound the seven, for though they had been given a portion of divinity, they were but mortals.”

“The Dark God created a place away from the rest of the world and imprisoned the seven to it. In his rage, he swept across the lands of the perfect races and searched for those who had lost their purpose and banished them with the seven. He named the realm he had built “The Nine Hells”. To this day, he is still roaming the world, and when he finds one who has lost their purpose, the Dark God seals them away where they cannot harm the world his father gave purpose.”

The seven deadly sins huh. This Creator God is hitting all the usual story beats. I would have preferred some original material, but I guess it works. The “Nine Hells” though… Isn’t the twelfth goddess named after a demon from the ninth circle of hell? I wonder if that’s related somehow. To be honest, I was getting a lot more questions than answers listening to the religious mythology. I could only wonder how much of it was true and how much had been distorted.

“The Goddess of Light watched her brother and wept for him. She knew that their actions were wrong. The children of the Creator God should never have interfered with the world. They should have allowed the perfect races to pursue their own purpose without interfering. In sadness, she wept tears that fell upon the world. Her tears hardened and became seeds. The seeds sprouted and bore fruit. The perfect races ate of the Goddess’ fruit and felt a change. Ever since some among them are born with a higher purpose.”

“The perfect children were granted a new purpose. Through their own strength, they were granted their own divinity. It is their purpose to oversee the world lest it once again loses its purpose. By fighting back the monsters created by their ancestors the perfect children could gain strength. By pursuing those who lacked purpose they could correct the imbalance of the world. Those among us, the inheritors of this history, who find our true purpose. In this way, we can guide the world lest it loses its purpose. To those who guide the world, the Goddess grants a title and a dominion.”

The priest motioned at his four attendants, and they began to remove statues out of the chest and place them one by one on the altar. As each statue came out, he told us the name of the god or goddess it represented, as well as telling us their purpose. Each statue was carved from some sort of white stone and was exquisitely detailed. They sort of reminded me of figurines from my previous life.

The first statue depicted a young girl in a shrine maiden robe. “The Goddess Caina, she who brings about the change of a new year. She oversees the transition of power but is capricious in nature. Do not be tempted by her innocent appearance and run astray, for one cannot usher in great change without first spilling blood.”

The second statue depicted an ancient grandfather-type figure dressed in a Roman-style toga. He was seated in the “Thinking Man” pose from that famous Earth statue, “The second God Virgil, chronicles the passing of time and the stories of great men. He seeks after change because he has grown stagnant in his old age and adores Caina for what she represents in this world.”

That’s a pretty messed up personality… I wonder if anybody else here is comprehending the implications… I briefly looked over the children and their parents in the room with me, as predicted the children were either looking bored or just studying the statues they had never seen before, but a handful of the adults were glancing away uncomfortably. Yea, if you worship a guy like that, I would be pretty uncomfortable too…

The third statue depicted not one but three figures, they were holding hands and seemed to be doing some sort of circular dance together, each one was clearly the same woman, but of different ages ranging from around fifteen or sixteen up to mid-thirties, “The third Goddess Nymphos, the heat of her passion is what thaws the icy cold of winter. She is capricious, however, and one can never be sure what form her love will take. Men, live carefully so you do not be led astray by her wiles and lose your purpose. Women, strive to embody Nymphos faithfulness to her husband, but do not emulate her hobbies, lest you lose your purpose.”

Um, what? That’s just a goddess of sex! This pantheon just gets worse and worse! I thought the Greek gods were bad but this is something else. The fourth statue was of a pudgy but clearly strong man sitting on a barrel. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and was holding a goblet. Ah, a god of wine. Finally a predictable deity for a fantasy setting.

“The fourth God Merlot loves to drink and cavort. Men, follow his example and never forget to train your bodies, but do not let the alcohol go to your head lest it leads you into debauchery. Woman, look to the example of Nymphos to keep your husbands satisfied as she satisfies Merlot, lest they be tempted by another and lose their way.” At this point, I was struggling to hold back my thoughts about how none of the gods so far seemed to be worth worshiping. It was cute that they all had a moral lesson associated with them, but I would hardly call these beings holy.

The fifth statue was of a tall and proud woman, looking at her I somehow saw my mother’s features in my mind. She was dressed simply and modestly. Is this a normal one?

“The fifth Goddess Gaia, she is the oldest goddess and pursues the order of the world. Every life has its purpose, and the world is best served when we pursue ours. Like Gaia, it is the purpose of those who came before to guide the new generation; parents be sure to guide your child properly for one day they will become guides themselves.”

Yea, that one was okay and fairly tame. Still, “Gaia” would be “mother earth”. I feel like whoever created this world really appreciates earth culture. The sixth statue was another man. He was dressed in a cloak and bore a large backpack; in his right hand he held a long stick.

“The sixth God Dorian, he watches over those who travel the land, but his heart yearns for trial and adventure. If you find yourself in his care never let your guard down, as he loves surprises and challenging us to become stronger. When on the roads you can never be sure what he has in store for you.”

So a god of adventurers. Sounds like his perspective is kind of screwed up. The priest says it’s to help you grow stronger in your journey but he just sounds like a bully to me. The seventh statue showed a muscle-bound and well-tanned man laboring over a forge. Smithing god?

“The seventh God Andre, he is the god of Artisans and Craftsmen. He spends every waking moment pouring over his projects, often forgetting to mind his surroundings. The rampant heat of his forge builds up and brings about the hottest days of summer. Learn from him, and do not become so absorbed in your passions that you lose sight of your purpose.”

…yea, so it’s a smithing god, but yet another screwed-up personality. So far Caina and Gaia were the only ones I would actually call gods or goddesses based on their actions, but Caina had that line about bloodshed being necessary. Haven’t I been changing the world of Alchemy for the past year and a half? I don’t recall killing anyone… The eighth statue was another woman. This one stood tall and proud, clad in a one-piece swimsuit complete with a skirt that looked to be made of plate mail and chain. I could make out muscles rippling over her arms and exposed legs. If that was a bikini armor, I bet she would be rocking a six-pack, what an amazon. This must be the Goddess of War.

“The eighth Goddess Bellyes, she adores her little brother despite his love of peace and drives us to war so that he has a chance to flourish. Learn from her, do not let a misplaced love or relationship drive you to cause others to suffer needlessly. War is necessary and her purpose is true, but her brother would be happier if she did not start them more than necessary for his sake.”

An older sister with a brother complex and a twisted sense of love. Still two for eight on worshipablility. The ninth statue was of a young boy, probably in his early teens. He looked weak and frail but was dressed in a dignified manner and stood resolutely with a straight back. Following the trend, this would be the peace-loving little brother.

“The ninth God Paxno, he is the god of peace and the little brother of Bellyes. He pursues peace at any cost and despises his older sister for her warmongering ways. Do not be like Paxno, there are some reasons that justify war."

Ok, that was blatant propaganda. That was less than half the length of your other introductions Mr. priest. I bet the kingdom is telling you to say that so they can make an easier justification when they decide to have commoners kill each other. Still, I have to agree. “Peace at any Cost” never led a country to live long back on Earth, sometimes war is justified. The tenth statue was a woman in a simple but elegant dress holding a baby in one hand and a sickle in the other. The goddess of infant mortality?

“The tenth Goddess Vitae, she holds sway over the lives of newborn infants, mothers with child, and overseas the autumn harvest. She is the goddess of all that bears fruit through work. Work hard at your purpose and she will ensure that you prosper.”

Oh, harvest and childbirth. Her personality is fairly tame as well. That makes three out of ten gods I would say are worthy of worship. The eleventh statue was of a man who reminded me of a plague doctor from medieval history.

“The eleventh God Mortis, Mortis is responsible for ushering the souls of those who died fulfilling their purpose to the afterlife. His work is grim and has caused his physical body to wither so he dons a mask lest he frightens souls away. When he comes for you, do not fear him and go willingly; if you remain bound to this world your spirit will be forever lost.”

A god of death who dresses like a plague doctor… its fitting in a way. Still, if he wanted to avoid frightening lost souls he could have picked a better cosplay. Also, isn’t the whole meaning behind his lesson “Accept your death”? that’s a morbid thought, I’ve already died once thank you very much, I intend to struggle to live to the best of my considerable ability. The twelfth statue was of a woman again. I already knew who she was, the Goddess Antenora. Supposedly, she had overseen my birth. I stiffened and stood up straight; I didn’t want to miss this one.

“The twelfth Goddess Antenora, she is the goddess of thieves, plotters, and traitors. Her purpose is paradoxical; She oversees those who would reject their purpose and cause strife for others. Do not emulate Antenora lest the Dark God steal you away to the Nine Hells.”

…wow. Literally just “don’t do this, you’ll go to hell”? I mean, I could understand being arrested, imprisoned, and maybe executed if the crime is bad enough, but hell? And in a world where “purpose” is everything why would there even be a Goddess like that?” I had assumed the lecture was over and started fidgeting while mulling things over, but they took out a thirteenth “statue”.

The thirteenth “statue” was broken off at the knees. “Long ago there was a thirteenth God. His name has been struck from the records. As, despite having ascended and discovering his true purpose, he chose to reject it in favor of the desires of the mortal realm. He renounced his godhood and descended once more to the world. He had fallen for a mortal woman, and his lust after her caused even a god to forget his purpose. Be ever vigilant, for even gods can lose their way.”

After we were regaled with the virtues of twelve “gods”, bringing out the thirteenth as a warning is some pretty effective propaganda for paying mind to our “purpose”. Frankly, only two or three of those gods were any good at all, the rest of them sound like genuinely terrible people. And what's this about making sure to “Follow our purpose” being hammered in so frequently? I’m getting some serious government and religious programing vibes… I wonder who’s on the top bunk, the king or the pope?”

The Priest of Pie’s assistants put everything back in the chest and then removed a crystal ball-looking thing and set it up on the altar. In front of the alter they placed a step stool such that a child could access the top. So, that must be the appraisal magic tool that’s going to seal my fate. I suddenly feel ill, can I go home early? No? damn.

The priest waved his hands to silence the children who had suddenly started chattering, “We shall now call you forth in the order of your birth. When your name is called, come up to the altar and place your hands upon the Appraisal Stone. It will reveal if the gods have given you a clear purpose. Jav.”

A boy who was standing near the middle of the group nervously approached the altar and after a moment’s hesitation, placed his hands on the Appraisal Stone. I could sympathize with him somewhat, going first sucked. After a moment, the priest wrote something on a sheet of paper and handed it to him, “Jav, your purpose is “Farmer”, may the blessings of Vitae go with you.”

I see, so they announce the class and give a blessing but keep your stats and what-not a secr- What?! while I was analyzing, a rain of amber gold light washed down from the ceiling and enveloped Jav. It was a warm color that made you think of fields of golden wheat ripe for the harvest. I looked around in surprise. I wasn’t the only one; the kids were chittering in awe, even the parents looked stunned. The priest was beside himself.

“Jav, you have received a miracle of Vitae, this is an auspicious occasion indeed! I am sure you will be a most excellent farmer!” Apparently, that golden light was a miracle from the goddess. Based on the parent’s reactions, I could assume it wasn’t something that happened very often; that meant it likely wasn’t a trick of some hidden mage casting a spell. I suppose this means the gods have real power. Considering their messed-up personalities, that’s a scary thought. I’ll have to keep an eye out for any old man who likes telling stories, at least for a couple of decades.

The priest bade Jav return to the ground and called up the next child. I kept a mental tally of the number of children and their classes or lack thereof. Out of about 30 kids in the room, only a few of them had a class; notably, the boy who had accosted me at the start of the ceremony. As he was coming down from the altar, I finally realized where I had seen him before; he was the same little shit that had thrown a rattle at me two years ago. His class was “Knife-Fighter”. That had caused quite a stir, pure combat classes were seemingly rare, and from what I could remember, the Tier one classes were almost entirely professions as opposed to fighting types.

Another member of his group also had a class; Sark was a Trader. There was also a boy named Bohg who was a “Whittler” whatever that was. A girl named Sana was a Singer, and another boy named Sark was a Scholar. The approximate rate of who had a class vs who did not was about one in seven, I was seeing some patterns to the religious numerology and the general mechanics of this world. Other than Jav, there were no other true blessings doled out. Regarding the priest’s parting words, those who had a class had a god specified in the announcement, the god or goddess named seemed to be based on the general idea of the class. The classless children were told “May the blessings of the twelve be with you” instead.

Finally, I heard the priest call my name. “Stahlia.” I felt like there were lead weights in my shoes, as I trudged up to the front of the room. To make matters worse I had been the complete and total last one called. I ascended the gallows and stared at the crystal ball. There was nothing for it, I wasn’t strong enough to fight my way out of the church; I would just have to grit my teeth and get it over with. Having affirmed my resolve, I boldly placed my hand upon the crystal ball. It felt like there was an electric current running from one hand, coursing over my body, and returning to the ball from the other hand. Peering into the ball, I saw information float up to the surface. So this is how the priest knows what everyone’s status is! From this angle, only the child and the priest can see it. Most children can’t read yet, so the priest writes down what he sees so the child can have it read to them later. But on that note, I can’t read this world’s language yet either, why is my text in English? Displayed in gold letters floating on the surface of the ball were English letters detailing some basic info about me. And for that matter, isn’t a lot of the information… lacking?

Status Appraisal of Stahlia Rosalie-daughter:

Gender: Female

Class/Level: [_____], 1

Archetype: Humanoid

Ability Values:

  • Strength: C
  • Endurance: B
  • Dexterity: A
  • Intelligence: S
  • Charisma: B
  • Mana: B

Talents: Prodigy I, Monster Handling I, Dagger Fighting I, Unarmed Fighting I

Skills: D̵͔͂ḭ̶̹̕v̴̝́i̸̡̓͝ṇ̴͐̇ė̸̡͚̒ ̴͕̓̆A̶̺̟͒u̴̘̭͠t̸̳̅ḥ̶̒̇o̸̟͂̑r̵͚̳̒̈ì̶̭̤̔t̷͙́̃y̴̯͉͐:̴̢̱̄ ̶͚̿̾[̷͈̖͋̄C̸͉̏̃l̸͉͌̎a̴̧̾̅ś̸͙̳̄s̴̭̺̀ ̸͇̈̒F̷͓͐ȇ̵͜à̸̗̤t̸̝͐͝ū̶̹r̶̝̀͠e̴̡̛̾ş̶̃̋]̵̨̲͗, Language Proficiency[Central Human]*, Fighting Style[Shadow Blade]

 

This has way less detail than my menu does. And my class entry is blank? But those other kids had a class and it displayed just fine? Maybe the custom class doesn’t display because that’s not an official class name? I never had an option to name my class though. And what the actual fuck is up with my Divine Authority Skill?! Reading that is actually giving me a headache! Not a metaphor, I actually have a headache looking at that! Am I losing SAN points?! And it’s all in English too! Can the priest read this?! What does he think!? I looked up at the priest. He was staring at the display with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. After a moment he noticed me watching him and quickly shut his mouth before giving me a nervous smile. He quickly wrote some stuff on a little paper and handed it to me.

“Stahlia, the gods have not revealed your purpose to you. Work hard an attempt to discern your true purpose, may the blessings of the twelve gods guide you.” I turned around and, in a state of shock, started descending the stairs.

When I had reached about the middle step, I saw a ripple run through the seated parents, while the children began to chatter excitedly. I had a really bad feeling. Looking up, I saw beams of icy white light descend and envelop me. My stomach twisted into a knot when I thought about which goddess this color was likely to represent.

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