Chapter 4: 4 ~ Magic

Okay, this was it. I couldn’t put it off any longer, not least of which was because all this research and stuff was getting into my head way too much and I had to keep reminding myself that I was doing this for someone else’s sake.

In a manner of speaking. I guess I was doing this because it would be hilarious, which meant it was for my sake, but...

First, I closed the door to my room and locked it for good measure. I sat down at my computer, shaking my hands out to get out some of the nervous energy. Then I pulled up the trojan’s control program. I could see that their computer was on, but the last activity was about ten minutes ago.

Mm. Maybe the user was around, maybe they weren’t. I went ahead and brought up their display screen just to see, and it was sitting on the desktop.

Default rolling green hills. Except… was that there last time? At the bottom, slightly offset from the neatly arranged line of icons, there was a file named n.png.

Overcome by curiosity, I took mouse control and opened it up.

The sketched image inside left me momentarily speechless. A computer sat at the center, keyboard and mouse floating below a boxy monitor. It was exactly in the right position to hide the face of the figure standing behind it. But even with her face obscured, I knew the woman from her clingy embroidered robe and black hair - hair with tendrils spreading out in all directions like some sort of dark halo. It was Nocturnia.

They had drawn this… for me?

I felt a twinge in my chest. I wasn’t sure if it was pure surprise, genuine appreciation, or sudden guilt. Maybe it was the unfamiliar discomfort of realizing that someone in some way cared about me? Whatever the reason, or weird mixture of reasons, I swallowed and shoved it down hard. I couldn’t afford to have feelings now. That would ruin everything.

It was an awfully good drawing though. And that was supposed to be me. Or, like, representative of me. I stared at it a bit longer, trying to decide if there was some way to transfer the file over to my own machine. You know, as a souvenir.

But then the mouse twitched, and moved on its own over to open up a text editor.

Hi?

The other user was back. Showtime.

GREETINGS ONCE AGAIN MORTAL

Is it bad to admit that I sort of didn’t expect you to come back?

I ALWAYS HONOR MY PROMISES

I tried to imagine what the user was feeling, whether the fact that I had returned had caused tentative hope to blossom... But I hesitated. This still felt kind of… awkward though? I couldn’t keep thinking of them as ‘the user’ in my head.

TELL ME, MORTAL…
WHAT IS IT THAT I SHOULD CALL YOU?

There was a long pause without a response, in which I remembered that what I was asking might be way more complicated than I wanted. They probably didn’t like the name their parents’ gave them very much.

And that realization was followed by another: ugh, I didn’t even want to know that name.

You know, just as solidarity coming from someone else stuck with a shitty name. I hastily typed an addendum.

LIKE -A- NAME FOR THE TIME BEING
YOU KNOW ME AS NOCTURNIA
HOW SHOULD I REFER TO YOU?

Much better. Obviously to the other person as well, as I got a response fairly quickly that time.

Call me Cerise for now?

WHAT WHY WOULD YOU PICK CERISE?

Shit. I shouldn’t have said that, but I couldn’t help myself. My Twinkle Witch Academy hot takes were too strong - they apparently had a direct line to my fingers.

THE CERISE I AM FAMILIAR WITH
IS NOT SOMEONE MANY WOULD EMULATE

I waited, watching with interest as the response spilled out.

This is sort of silly, but I kind of look up to her? 
She is vain, self-absorbed, and rude, yes. But I also 
see a lot in her that I wish I could be myself. She 
doesn’t let setbacks stop her. She sees something she 
wants and then is utterly ruthless at taking action 
to get it. I’m... jealous of her ability to be 
selfish. I don’t want to hurt other people, but 
sometimes it feels like I’m just living for everyone 
else around me. I wish it was possible for me to 
actually be selfish and insist on my own happiness, 
too. Does that make sense?

It didn’t. But it did. I bit my lip, chewing over the words in my head.

PEOPLE WHO ARE SELFISH AREN’T ALWAYS HAPPY EITHER
SOMETIMES YOU HURT OTHER PEOPLE AND YOURSELF TOO
BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT
OR

You know it but can’t admit it.

…Is what I was going to type, but I froze. And then erased the ‘OR.’ I was being too long-winded, and Cerise didn’t need my advice. This wasn’t the point.

BUT ENOUGH OF THAT
I AM HERE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MAGIC

Immediately, Cerise started typing again.

About that - I feel a bit silly. You just caught me 
off guard and I don’t know that I really meant what 
I said. I’ve never told anyone that before, and

I grinned wickedly as I took control from the keyboard, cutting them off.

TOO LATE

I gave them a moment to let that sink in, delighting in what they had to be feeling. See, those sites I saw before, the really weird and frustrating ones, they had given me some ideas. And what better way to process weird frustrating feelings than pushing them off onto someone else?

You are reading story Trolls and Tribulations at novel35.com

~THE MAGIC IS COMPLETE~
YOU ARE A GIRL NOW
CONGRATULATIONS

I waited a long moment. You know how some apps have that ‘someone is typing’ thing? Where it’s an animation of three dots that show up and then disappear again?

It’s supremely amusing to see someone accidentally do that. Several times in a row, Cerise typed out an ellipsis, and then paused and backspaced it while she tried to figure out what to say. Eventually this resolved in:

…No I’m not.

YES YOU ARE

A longer pause.

I don’t look like a girl. I look the same as before.

YOU DIDN’T SAY YOU WANTED TO CHANGE YOUR BODY
YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO BE A GIRL
AND YOU ARE A GIRL NOW, CERISE
ON THE INSIDE, WHERE IT MATTERS

It seemed like my heart was beating too rapidly as I waited for her response.

…Really?

YES

This isn't a joke?

Something in my stomach twisted a bit. But... mm. I was in too deep now to back out.

NO
NO IT IS NOT

I waited. Was that it? I cursed my trojan program’s limitations. Next time I absolutely needed to have something that’d let me see through the webcam or something. I was simply dying to know what Cerise’s actual reactions were here.

Sorry, I’m crying a little bit.

oh shit uh

I mean in a good way. Like, I’m happy. 
I can't stop smiling either.

Face burning, I quickly deleted the last line I had typed. Uhm.

Thank you.

As it turns out, this was… not nearly as 'hilarious' as I expected it to be? But I felt strangely good, regardless? Like, all warm on the inside. Maybe I had invented a new form of trolling entirely.

It’s difficult being such a brilliant genius.

I’m still not satisfied though. I want other people to see me as a girl too.

That’s what I was expecting. And I was ready.

VERY WELL, BUT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I CANNOT DO ALONE
IT WILL REQUIRE YOU TO TAKE CERTAIN ACTIONS OF YOUR OWN
AS WELL AS BE WILLING TO MAKE CERTAIN SACRIFICES

Cerise responded immediately.

Okay.

I grinned, and stretched out my fingers, getting ready to lay on the dramatics.

METONYMY: AS A SINGLE PART EMBODIES THE WHOLE
YOUR FIRST TASK WILL BE TO DEVELOP THIS MAGIC
MAKE A SINGLE CHANGE TO HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF
AND THEN REPORT BACK TO ME ON HOW YOU ARE SEEN

What?

MAKE ONE SMALL CHANGE TO APPEAR MORE LIKE A GIRL

Like… anything?

YES

That’s still really scary.

CERISE, TRUST IN MY GUIDANCE

Impulsively, I continued.

I WOULD NOT ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING
THAT I WAS NOT WILLING TO DO MYSELF

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That was perfect.

Hook. Line. And Sinker.

Okay. I can try.

I leaned back, grinning broadly.

Thank you again. 
I… just really needed someone to tell me some 
of these things. I need some time to think 
though. Will you be back?

I WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU, CERISE
AND DO NOT FORGET THAT ONE DAY 
I WILL CALL UPON YOU FOR A FAVOR

Anything.

The response came quickly, without hesitation. And then they clicked off the window, leaving the drawing of Nocturnia still up.

I was totally beside myself, positively giggling as I spun in my chair. I had been really worried, but this had gone splendidly. I couldn’t wait for the next time to check in - I’d give her a few days? And then I’d get to hear all about what had happened, and I was willing to bet it’d be good. I mean, can you imagine? What even was she going to do? I mean, if it was me, then I would probably go with—

Wait a minute.

I told her straight up that I was willing to do this myself. Which meant that the next time we talked, if she had chickened out and needed more reassurance, she might ask what I would have done. Or had done. Which meant… if I hadn’t done anything, I’d be at risk of compromising the entire plan?

Which meant I had to do something to present more femininely myself. It was far too risky otherwise.

It only made sense.

I didn't really have any other choice.

God. The things I do for my work.

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