Chapter 162: She Should've Known

Life was truly full of surprises. One minute, everything seemed in place. But in just a blink of an eye... everything felt like it was falling apart. 

I thought I was ready for it. I was certain that when the time comes, I would understand. 

I was wrong. 

Even when I knew deep in my heart what would happen, no amount of preparation was enough to stop the pain. I could feel the pieces of my heart fall apart while staring at the man who owned it. 

Hugo was staring in a particular direction, wide-eyed. I knew that look in his eyes: surprise, attraction, and confusion. We were just enjoying the ball after he introduced me to people. But as the night fell deeper, just when Hugo and I were about to sneak out, he stopped. 

For reasons we all knew, he turned his head in a particular direction. He froze that instant and never took his eyes off of from there. 

My eyes followed what he was looking at, and I instantly knew what rattled him. She... was dazzling. 

A woman not far away was standing across the hall. Her bright blonde locks complimented her small delicate face. Her curious azure eyes squinted while watching people dance in the middle, clapping lightly. She looked kind and reserved.

The second I laid my eyes on her, my mind instantly put her image next to Hugo. They looked so perfect. As if they were born to stand beside each other.

I gritted my teeth as my fingers curled into a fist. Even so... I mentally shook my head. I wanted to take Hugo away from here. I wanted to tell him to stop looking at her and just look at me like moments ago. 

I gazed at him. "Hugh," came out a soft voice but to no avail. 

He was balling his hand into a fist and I could tell he was stopping himself from rushing to her. He was trying, knowing I was right beside him. But that was all he could do at this moment. He could only stand here while looking at her; not approaching or leaving. 

'Look at me... I'm here, Hugh,' I requested in my heart, but nothing. This was their curse... and also mine. 

I felt breathless. I needed to leave. The pain in my heart was only increasing by the minute it was driving me crazy. 

I took a careful step back, eyes on his rear. One, two, three... until I turned my back against him. I kept my composure as I squeezed through the crowd. All I could think was going to a place no one could ever see me.

'Not here, Rinnie,' I told myself repeatedly. 'Not here...'

Deep down, while I was making an exit from the ball, I wished... he would come after me. That a hand would stop me from leaving and ask me where I was going. But alas, even when I was staggering and gassing out in the empty and dark hallway, no one came after me. 

I clutched my chest, hand on the wall, gasping for air. 'It's alright... everything will be...' even my thoughts trailed off as I choked.

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Tears flowed out of my eyes, landing on the carpet. My entire body was trembling, breaking out in a cold sweat. It hurts. It felt as though a thousand needles were pricking my heart all at the same time. 

I wanted to break down, to cry my heart out, to scream, to release the pain. But instead, I covered my lips to muffle my cries. 

"It hurts..." came out a muffled voice, hiccuping. "... hurts, Wol."

I raised my head, and there was Daniel. He was standing several feet away from me, light from the moon filtering through the window shining upon him. His eyes bore tenderness and pain. He marched towards me and stopped when I was within his reach. 

He wasn't laughing as expected. Like always... he would look at me in pain instead of mocking me. 

"I know," he answered in a low tone. "You know that's the kind of pain I am going through and will befall you."

'I know that.' My hand clinging to the wall curved into a fist, eyes on him. 

"You remember your promise, right?" he raised his hand to me but stopped midway. "You'll let him go, right?"

"Is that why you are here? To check whether I changed my mind?" 

He remained silent for a moment, wiping the tears with his thumb. "And to see you experience what I am enduring all this time. As usual, instead of joy, it was a sight I will never appreciate. Lam, I can and won't have you... and you can't have him as well." His eyes flickered with sadness and acceptance of our tragic fate. 

"You gave me your word," he continued in the same low tone. "We will stay silent and die quietly. I might die before you, but you... will die while you're alive. That is the greatest punishment for the both of us."

I raised my trembling hands and clutched the hand that was wiping my tears. Even at this point, we both despised each other. Despite that, he was the only person who came to me. Again. 

"Like always... why do you always go to where I go?" I laughed weakly, putting his hand down. "Ah... right... you don't need to answer. I won't back down on my words. You don't have to worry."

I glanced at him and smiled wearily. "Don't follow me again, don't seek me, and don't wipe my tears again. Keep your promise. I will keep mine." 

With that being said, I dragged my wobbling knees away. My shoulder brushed against him as I passed by him. I stopped when he spoke once again. 

"Did you love him because you know he will never be yours? Is this the death you chose, Lam?" I felt his gaze behind me, but I didn't look back.

A weary smile resurfaced on my face. "Who knows? You should ask that yourself. Did you love me knowing I will never be yours? Is that the death you chose, Wol? If you could answer that, then you know my answer.." I replied under my breath before I continued my stride.

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