Chapter 176: Under The Same Moon

Just like any other night, I stood in front of the open window. The cool night breeze hit my face, making the curtain and my hair flow back.

I looked up at the night sky with no single star in sight. Just the moon and its bright light radiating across the world. 

I planted my hands on the windowsill, taking a deep breath. It had been a while. I thought once I was alone, I would bawl my eyes and recall the past. Surprisingly, I didn't. 

"It's just heavy, moon," I whispered, opening my eyes to see the moon shining so soothingly in this darkness. "My heart... feels heavy."

A weary smile dominated my face as my eyes softened in sadness. Hugo was the person I sought, the love of my life, and the only man I had loved so deeply it was painful. Knowing he was doing well without me was akin to a dagger stuck in my chest. 

"I should be happy for him," I muttered. "You should be happy for him, Rinnie. You should."

I wasn't.

Selfish as I was, there was this small part of me who wanted him to still think about me. That there would be a tiny space in his heart for me. That the thought of me would bring him pain, just like every time I think about him. 

Not the kind of pain where he would suffer. But the sort of pain that would leave a bitter taste in his mouth. That was better than getting indifference.

"I am so changeable... and a mess." I mocked, laughing while shaking my head. "You're so pathetic, lamb. Very... much." 

Cruel, but that was the truth. I changed. I wasn't the saint who thought she could forgive everything. Deep down, I had this nasty side who would wish for her beloved to not forget about her completely. That even when I had accepted I didn't hold his heart anymore, I still wanted to have even a tiny portion of his heart. 

I left him, and yet, I was still expecting something from him. If that wasn't pathetic, I don't know what I would call it. 

"Well, moon, you won." My eyes remained on the moon shining above. "Once again... I am a mess... are you happy now? That after all these years, you'd find a way to torture me?"

My eyes glinted with contempt and ridicule. I shook my head, laughing mockingly.

"Never mind," I whispered with a deep exhale. "As long as no one knows, everything will be fine. This pain... I welcome it, moon. That is nothing compared to what we all went through three years ago. My life ended back then. Dying once again isn't news anymore."

*****

Meanwhile, on one of the private estates in Clayburn, Althea. 

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Hugo stood on the terrace of his room on the third floor of the mansion. He was holding a glass of wine on his left and a lit cigar on his right. A habit he picked up and could never drop to keep himself calm and collected.

"I thought for a second I got a whiff of her," he whispered, gazing up at the moon shining so beautifully above. "Well, maybe because this place is quite memorable for us."

Clayburn was the first place they went together. They roamed the street together. This was also the same time when the said place was having an annual festival. In this place... both of them danced in the middle of the crowd.

Their first dance. Not convenient, but back then, they were simply carefree individuals who didn't care about those watchful eyes. Thinking about those wonderful memories left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

"This was also around the same time I felt my heart beat for her." His eyes narrowed, revisiting that time she said 'he was her best and worst' decision. Who would have thought that those words were akin to a premonition?

Choosing him brought her joy she couldn't even speak of, but also unimaginable pain. Hugo looked up at the moon once again. 

"Why now?" he wondered, asking the moon directly. "All this time... why would I think about her again, moon? Has my rejection of your plans for me is something you still cannot accept? That is why you made me think she's in this place?"

The side of his lips curled up mockingly. Every time he would look up at the moon, his hatred towards it increased. Because under the same sky and under this same moon, somewhere in a place he didn't know, she was there... beyond his reach.

Was she looking up at the same moon as what he was doing? If so, what was she thinking? Was Rinnie thinking about him? Was she also in pain, just like he was? Does she resent the moon just as intense as him? 

Questions like that kept hovering over his head every time he look up at the sky. And... there was no answer. 

Hugo didn't have the slightest idea of how was Rinnie. All he could do was hope. That the pain of abandoning him would haunt her. That every time she looked up at the moon, she would be devastated. That whenever she thought about him, she would anguish. 

Pain. 

He wanted her to feel his pain for leaving, for loving him, and for everything. And if she was already in another man's arm... she better not think about it. For he would rather be hated by her than let her be happy while he was devastated. 

Selfish and cruel, as others may call it, but that was the main reason he stopped searching for her. 

"If she left, she better not show up in front of me ever again," he muttered, jaw tightening, with a murderous glint flickering across his eyes. "Because if she did... god forbid, I don't know what I'd do with her. I might break her a thousand times."

When the fine line between love and hate had become blurred, one wouldn't know where to stand. Did he hate her? Or just loved her even more intensely? Either way, both of them planned not to see each other again. 

However, life and their tangled fates had another plan for them. And like usual, problems wouldn't just come one after another.. They all come together, all at once.

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