Chapter 38: Ask The Questions You Can Get Answers From

I bent my knees closer to my chest, leaning back against the trunk. I cried so much that I was still hiccuping while playing with my fingers that were on top of my knees. Hugo was still sitting beside me, keeping his silence.

"I wanted to tell Ashton he is lying." I broke the prolonged silence with a weak voice. "There is no way Mother and Father will do that to me. I wanted to believe that they did things because they loved me. After all, they pampered me and filled me with love although... there was a time I witness mother whip a maid until she can no longer get up."

My eyes softened, recalling that lost memory I locked away deep in my consciousness. "When Mother found out I was there, she rushed to me and embraced me in a panic. I was a young girl back then, so I believed she was simply disciplining the maid." I paused and smiled bitterly, rubbing the nail on my thumb against my index.

"The more I think about it, the more I am convinced mother had a temper. Although I wanted to think of her as a kind and warm person since she was nothing but kind to me. But then again, this other memory where I heard her badmouthing 'a disgusting brat' makes me wonder who is that brat is.

Father, although, visits me occasionally, sometimes scares me. Although he smiles at me, I sometimes catch him looking at me coldly. I always ignored those little details because... why would they hate me, right?"

Silence dawned between us as the sound of the wind, along with the rustle of the leaves, caressed my ears. I kept my eyes on my nails while biting my inner lower lip the more I recall things I ignored in the past.

"I can't still understand, nor do I believe Ashton's words completely. Even if, let's say, the love I had been receiving lacked in-depth, why would mother tell me to survive? Why... would she save me? If she wants me dead, why didn't she let me die in the hands of those vampires? There is just so much question that I will never get an answer from because... well, they're dead." I chuckled with ridicule.

I had no more tears to shed as I already released everything earlier. Still, my mind was filled with questions. I felt like losing my mind. 

"Just like Ashton, I wanted to ask Mother and Father, if all those times they spent with me, were they disgusted? Did they hate every second of it?" I nearly choked, voicing out those words as my heart ached. "I feel like all those memories are so fragile now, so easily shattered."

"Hmm." I looked up at Hugo when he hummed, seeing him wipe his chin. "Well, they're dead, so you won't get your answers, right?" 

He was always blunt and unbothered. "That's right." I nodded, closed-lipped.

"So, that only means there's no point in wallowing in those questions." Hugo arched his brows, batting his eyes as he moved to face me squarely. "Instead of dwelling on those answers you will never get, why not focus on the question you can get answers from?"

I tilted my head slightly, staring at him in confusion. "Like?"

"Why not ask me?" he suggested in the same tone, crossing his arms while nodding. "Why don't you ask me if I hate every second with you. I will answer it because yours truly is generous."

My lips parted, but then closed them again. I didn't know why I was hesitant, but I still forced my words out of my throat.

"Do you hate being with me, Hugo?" I asked after mustering my courage. The corner of his lips stretched into a bright grin. I flinched when he suddenly collapsed, resting his head on my lap while he gazed up at me.

"No. I love every second of it," he answered, bearing the same grin. "Yours truly only wish is to spend every second of every day with you and fill my memories with you. I mean, if I can eliminate all other information in my head with just you, I would sacrifice my memories with the pack."

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I chuckled at his exaggerated reply. Or was it? Because by the sound of it, it wasn't. He never lied to me, that I was certain.

Hugo clicked his tongue lightly. "Those people in Everfell are nothing but numbskull because they didn't realize that you are the only Rinnie in this world. Ungrateful bastards!" he spat out in dismay.

My eyes softened as I gazed down at him. Somehow, his words were akin to a bandage wrapping my broken heart to keep it in one piece. I raised my hand weakly, stroking his dark ash hair that was as soft as fur. 

"Hugo, do you really like me that much?" I asked, staring at his now golden eyes that were red earlier.

"Of course!" his answer was quick and without a second hesitation. So I asked him, "why?"

This time, Hugo pressed his lips into a thin line and hummed a long tune. I let him ponder on his answer while stroking his hair gently.

"Why? Because... you're Rinnie, isn't that obvious?" he raised a brow as he spoke in a knowing tone. "Do I need more complicated reasons to like someone?"

Classic Hugo, I thought. What did I expect him to say? But his answer was enough to bring a subtle smile to my lips.

"If I'm not Rinnie anymore, will you still like me?" I asked. Even I didn't know what got into me to ask such a random question. Hugo furrowed his brows, as he seemed confused as well.

"Of course."

"How can you say that?"

"If you're not Rinnie, then I still like my Bambi." He shrugged with a smug grin.

"You always have a way with your words, huh?" I let out a weak chuckle while staring down at him. Hugo and I stared at each other in silence before he suddenly lifted his head. I shut my eyes on instinct, only to feel the apex of his nose brushing against mine. 

"If the memories you treasure are that fragile, let's make ours unbreakable," he uttered in a low tone while I slowly opened my eyes as he drew his head back. The side of his lips curled up into a smirk, staring straight into my eyes. 

"Will you allow me?"

I bit my lower lip while looking at him before bending over, brushing the apex of my nose against his. I felt him stiffen, but I didn't point it out. This was our little ritual back then, and I wanted to keep it this way.

"You don't have to ask," I whispered, eyes closed. "I am still lucky to meet you.... woof."

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