Chapter 90: Sun Yi Jia’s Change

Sun Yi Jia’s attention was on the flowers in the courtyard, and everyone else’s attention was on her, so naturally no one saw Jing Wan’s arriving.

Jing Wan stepped on a small twig by her foot. The sound although was light, but because the courtyard was quiet enough, nearly everyone all heard it, unconsciously turning their heads over.

Sun Yi Jia’s dull gaze brightened and opened her mouth, wanting to call out to her. But just as she opened her mouth, she immediately instinctively covered her face, lightly letting out a hiss sound. Her elegant brows wrinkled, and she pursed her lips. Clearly it was because suddenly opening her mouth had tugged on the wound. However, aside from this, she actually didn’t have any other emotions as she beckoned her hand towards Jing Wan.

And as for Sun Yi Lin, in the instant he saw Jing Wan, that gloomy look in his eyes finally got a trace of color too. Seemingly aside from some minor injuries, she unexpectedly can be considered to be in perfectly good shape. He was rather happy from the bottom of his heart. Just as he wanted to open his mouth and say something, he saw Jing Wan bowing, paying her formalities, and then headed towards the inner room.

Sun Yi Lin once again looked towards his own younger sister, and sure enough, she got up and retraced her steps back into the room.

“Miss Luo…..” Sun Yi Lin called out to stop her.

Jing Wan paused her steps and looked towards him, “Gentleman Sun needs something?”

“Yi Jia and you although have only been acquainted for a mere few days, but in actuality, I’ve never seen her this intimate with any other family’s young lady before, including our own family’s sisters. For her, those were all just maintaining that bit of friendship on the surface, but in fact, they were the same as strangers. However, with you, it’s more like as actual sisters. She’s suffered such a great disaster, in the future…….hoping Miss Luo can console her.”

“Big sister Jia treats me sincerely, so I naturally will match with sincerity. You wish for her to be well, naturally I’m no exceptions. Therefore, no need for gentleman to say more, I will do what I can.”

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Sun Yi Lin nodded, not saying anymore.

Jing Wan directly walked into the inner room. Sun Yi Jia was sitting by the table, indicating for her to come sit.

Jing Wan didn’t bother with those etiquette and rules, not even avoiding out of taboo, and directly looked at her face. Towards someone unfamiliar, doing something like this was indeed very rude. But if even the people that are close to one also blindly avoid, that kind of subtle and deliberate disregard will make one feel even worse. More than half of the side of her face was covered in white cloth, using a thin white thread to go around the top of the head and secure the chin. The white thread was taken care of very meticulously, concealing itself as much as possible. This was also why Jing Wan didn’t see any obvious marks on the other side just now.

Sun Yi Jia reached out and pulled her to sit down. She waved her hand at the group of people serving her, indicating for them to withdraw.

Jing Wan understood that she wanted to talk to her alone, so Jing Wan also let her own people retreat outside.

Sun Yi Jia’s wet nurse was worried after all, so before stepping out, she still couldn’t help saying a few words, “Miss temporarily isn’t suited for talking right now, so, Miss Luo…..”

Sun Yi Jia held out her hand to stop her. It was very obvious. Right now, she didn’t want to hear the people at her side nag. Starting from when she got saved, it has been constant turmoil and chaos at her side. First was the helpless crying, both feeling sorry for her and cursing the heavens, again and again saying what will she do from now on. Then, seeing her expressionless eyes, they began endlessly persuading again, starting from her status to stating how much she’s pampered at home. And she not only has the Ding Duchess, but there’s also the old madam, and the Empress also likes her the most, so on and so on. Even if she’s injured her face and ruined her looks, she would still have a good marriage. And in the future, the husband’s family definitely wouldn’t dare to treat her unwell either.

Sun Yi Jia wasn’t stupid. How could she not know what it means to have one’s face ruined? Even if you say it so beautifully, so what? Some things, in that moment that piece of sharp rock sliced open her face, were already predetermined. Since she didn’t have any reaction, everyone else all thought that her heart had turned to dust, and her willpower drained. But in reality, this wasn’t the case at all, her endurance wasn’t that weak. On contrary, her heart was almost strangely calm. She actually very much wanted to tell them that she was fine, but she knew, no one would believe her, including her fifth brother. Thus, she chose to remain silent. But this kind of silence made the people at her side all feel sorry for her all the more, even pitying her, and so, formed a vicious cycle.

Later, under her cold eyes, everyone finally all shut their mouths. But everyone remaining silent together was also something that similarly made one uncomfortable.

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Jing Wan’s arrival practically saved her.

“Big sister Jia, are you well?” Jing Wan personally believes that it’s still better to watch people make mistakes. She always felt that Sun Yi Jia didn’t seem to care about her disfiguration all that much. Perhaps because they care, they lost their footing, or perhaps because of the deep-rooted way of thinking that the people in this world hold, believing that a girl wouldn’t not care about one’s own appearance, that’s why the people at her side were that nervous and careful, completely unaware of Sun Yi Jia’s true feelings.

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Sun Yi Jia nodded without the slightest hesitation. Apart from her face hurting, and also some places on her body hurting from the scratches and bruises, she wasn’t any different than usual.

Jing Wan sighed in relief, “Then that’s good.”

Sun Yi Jia faintly smiled with narrowed eyes. From the room, she found the four treasures of the study^[1], and after grinding the ink, she began to write: “It’s really great that you’re alright. —-I just know that little sister Wan would be different from the others. Whatever I say is what you’ll believe, and not think that I’m just pretending to be strong in order to console you.”

“This kind of thing, there’s nothing good to lie about. If you’d really lost something you’d cared about, regardless if it’s throwing a tantrum, or being heartbroken in silence, all can’t be criticized. And there’s also no need to wrong oneself and repress oneself in order to accommodate other people. Others should be the ones tolerating and understanding you.”

Sun Yi Jia nodded and wrote: “As expected, it is still little sister Wan that understands me best.” As she wrote, she silently sighed, “It’s been more than ten years, yet why is it still unable to compare to the few times I’ve met you.”

“This is probably the ‘so-called intimate friend^[2]‘.”

Sun Yi Jia blanked, “That’s right, it’s exactly the ‘so-called intimate friend’. People who truly understands you are not always the closest people at your side.”

“What will big sister Jia do in the future?” Having seen Sun Yi Jia’s situation, Jing Wan just went straight to the point, drawing blood on the first prick, directly pointing at the core.

“When this heart of little sister Wan’s hardens, it really is quite harsh. This scar hasn’t even formed a scab yet, and is already mercilessly being torn apart again, insisting on making one face the cruelest reality.”

“I simply just believe that big sister Jia isn’t someone who would run away.”

Sun Yi Jia saw how that pair of black and white distinct eyes were filled with seriousness. Jing Wan was truly concerned for herself from the bottom of her heart, just herself alone, and for not the things that were added on to her body. “Little sister Wan, did you know, this face of mine originally wouldn’t have been injured this severely. I did it on purpose. In that moment, when I came across that piece of sharp rock, as if possessed, I tilted my head. I’m not sure whether or not leaning towards the other direction would have allowed me to avoid it, or perhaps just not injure the face. But at the time, my one and only thought was just, with my face gone, my value will also be gone. Then that way, they won’t need to meticulously calculate how to use me to obtain the greatest benefit in exchange.”

Jing Wan stared at the words on the paper. She reached out, crumpled it up, and threw it into the incense burner.

Sun Yi Jia got another piece of paper, “Isn’t little sister Wan a little too cautious.”

Jing Wan didn’t speak, but rather took her brush and wrote: “Who am I doing this for? If it gets seen by others, and then spreads to your parent’s ears, will you be able have good days in the future?”

“Didn’t expect that little sister Wan’s handwriting is also pretty good.”

Jing Wan somewhat wanted to cry, “Is this the time to say this right now?”

“I already won’t have good days to live by, how worse can it get?” She was very clear what kind of reactions those people in her family will have. The only ones that truly care for her are probably only those few—-fifth brother, grandmother, and wet nurse, possibly also those two servant girls that grew up together with her. Even her mother, for the sake of herself, and for the sake of her sons, even if she’s her only daughter, she would still abandon her. Compared to others, what was slightly better was that she probably won’t humiliate her.

[1] Four Treasures of the Study – Brush, ink, paper, and ink stone

[2] This term has a double meaning and both meanings is used here; the term for ‘intimate friend’ is the same as ‘to know oneself’, so someone who understands you is an intimate friend.

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