Jing Wan leaned her head against Li Hong Yuan’s shoulder, “You don’t need to go this far.”
“Then this husband might as well just take in two side consorts and a bunch of concubines now, what does Wan Wan think?” Li Hong Yuan was exceptionally calm, calm to the point of indifference.
“You dare!” Jing Wan immediately sat up, glaring at Li Hong Yuan, like as if about to eat him alive.
Li Hong Yuan didn’t react either, still that blankly staring at Jing Wan.
After a while, Jing Wan was like as if losing all her bones, her entire body going limp, leaning against Li Hong Yuan, “You know I didn’t mean this.”
“In my eyes, there isn’t any inherent difference. If able to control, then probably wouldn’t have been able to start over, and as the past life comes to an end, everything would’ve also came to an end. What is there to redo, what continuing the past fate. If in my place, how would Wan Wan choose?” Li Hong Yuan lifted his hand over Jing Wan’s head, lightly caressing.
How would she choose? If a person took up all your mind and heart, yet the other party was gone, even in a tragic way that she was absolutely unable to accept, what would she do? She probably would really go crazy. As the saying goes, unable to survive without going insane. If it was her, she would probably be even more crazy, and even more unreasonable, not hesitating to sacrifice everything.
However, although thinking this, and if switched with her, she would also do the same, but when it’s the person at the tip of one’s heart, she would still feel incomparably heartbroken, hoping for him to not do this.
Just like, two people in love soon to be separated by life and death. When on the deathbed, the one that will soon die always hope for the other to properly continue living and forget oneself, wishing them to be happy their whole life, but the one that lives on usually will be in pain their whole life.
But, the one that died, do they really wish to be forgotten by their love? In their selfish heart, they actually want the other party to forever remember them, hoping to occupy they other party’s everything. Yet, at the same time, they also can’t bear for the other party to live in despair.
Jing Wan tightly held him, using this kind of way to answer him.
Li Hong Yuan smiled, “But this husband is a selfish person and won’t hope for Wan Wan to not do. Perhaps, the more you do, the happier I will be.”
How many people are normally like this, pretending to be ‘selfish and self-serving’, yet when it really comes to this step, afraid it would be a completely different stance.
Although she was still curious, Jing Wan won’t continue asking. After all, for the current them, that child doesn’t exist. For the sake of a child that doesn’t exist, to dig at the scars of the man at the tip of her heart, no matter what, she was unable to.
As for their future child, they still need to have at least one. After all, based on this man’s meaning, without a qualifying successor, for the sake of not letting others benefit, he will have everything destroyed. There was nothing more terrifying than this.
What would be considered destroyed? It absolutely won’t just be shaking up Qi Yuan’s imperial court. That scene will a hundred percent be countless times more serious than the current war between Qi Yuan and Xiongnu. That would truly be all life perishing. That scene, even if only occurring after her death, but merely just thinking about it, she still didn’t want that kind of thing to happen. They can just die off, but in this world, there would still be their family, no? Thinking of them sinking into unrest and deprivation, one probably won’t be able to rest in peace.
Whether their successor is qualifying or not is one thing, but there needs to be one first. Afterwards, as long as not an actual block of rotten wood, then no matter what, all able to let them qualify. Jing Wan felt, based on their genes, unless very unlucky, causing that child to have defects in certain aspects, otherwise, it wasn’t too possible to end up with a rotten wood.
However, thinking of these now was also useless. Not only because the situation was still unstable, as well as her body still being young, but most importantly, she needed a certain someone to agree. Every time, the birth control medicine was all personally dissolved in the water by him, and the one that made the medicine was probably Gong Jiu. If she looks for Gong Jiu to let him change the medicine, she most likely will be found out by this man in seconds. That’s why, it was completely impossible to secretly get pregnant, so she could only wait. Perhaps once everything settles, his state of mind will also be different.
As she thought of this, Jing Wan became sleepy, her consciousness becoming blurry. Afterwards, she didn’t even know when she fell asleep.
Li Hong Yuan gently had her picked up, but his expression was abnormally cold. After wiping dry the water droplets on her body, and placing her on the bed, he leaned over and kissed her eyes, and then, swiftly put on his clothes and went out.
“Wangye………” Outside the door, Gong mama saw the exceptionally terrifyingly looking Li Hong Yuan, and was somewhat alarmed.
“Look after wangfei a little. If she has signs of waking, then just light a bit of calming incense, can’t let her know that this prince went out.”
“…………Yes. Also asking wangye to return soon. You should know, without you by her side, wangfei can’t sleep peacefully.”
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Li Hong Yuan glanced at Gong mama. This was somewhat indirectly showing concern, which was actually quite rare for her. Without saying any more, he directly turned and left, his sleeves drawing out a chilling arc.
Gong mama looked at that somewhat dim lantern. After turning the corner, it just thoroughly disappeared before her eyes. Afterwards, she finally entered the room, checking on Jing Wan, and having the bed curtains let down. She then extinguished the lamp, and went to the cleaning room to have the inside cleaned up, especially the bathwater that had nerve calming medicine added in it.
Li Hong Yuan wanting to go out was one thing, but mainly it was still because of everything during the daytime. Li Hong Yuan worried that she won’t be able to sleep well, so made preparations in advance.
(T/N: This part below is written kinda weird and a bit confusing at first, but it’s basically, LHY went out and then came back. The part below already take place in the morning when Jing Wan has woken. The passing of time between these parts isn’t very clear, so I added a divider.)
Because the medicine was placed in very subtly, that’s why Jing Wan didn’t detect at all, even somewhat surprised that her sleep was this unexpectedly good, originally thinking that she was going to suffer from insomnia.
“…………..That’s why, I actually even have the traits of being heartless and thoughtless, not even caring if the sky collapse?” Jing Wan jokingly said to Li Hong Yuan.
“It doesn’t matter what you are, I won’t mind.” Li Hong Yuan closed his eyes, tightly holding Jing Wan, “Sleep a little more.”
“It’s already late.”
“Judging from Wan Wan’s meaning, this is wishing for this husband to do a bit of something?”
Recalling Li Hong Yuan’s ‘views on not being able to climb down from the bed’, Jing Wan firmly chose to shut her eyes, obediently staying in a certain someone’s arms, not moving at all.
Once Jing Wan quieted down, Li Hong Yuan finally opened his eyes. If Jing Wan saw at this time, she would definitely be frightened. The originally deep and captivating eyes, this while were practically just like having been covered by a layer of dense dark clouds. The white of the eye even had distinctly visible wisps of blood. In a certain sense, that practically can’t be considered human eyes anymore.
(T/N: Treat the part below like the flashback, I wish the author had better transitions between these parts, it’s so confusing for me to translate.)
In reality, what Li Hong Yuan needed wasn’t sleep, but rather time for him to recover. He can’t scare Jing Wan.
During the time he was gone from the manor, in the rare beast park at the estate, three male lions, two tigers, a few leopards, and several alligators had died……….
Only the people watching at the side knew how bloody that scene was, and how terrifying. The Li Hong Yuan in their eyes really wasn’t human, but a death god, a demon, letting one tremble in fear from the bones. After he came out, the shadow guards near him all had to forcibly restrain their legs from shaking.
Li Hong Yuan took it in, just lightly letting out one word: “Useless.”
The shadow guards just felt ashamed and embarrassed, unable to produce any other thoughts.
Actually, this time, Li Hong Yuan was very sober and completely didn’t lose his rationality. But, it was precisely because he was sober, it was thus even worse. Because he thought of even more things from his past life, that’s why, he was even more ruthless and cruel. Those beasts just seemingly became those people that he ‘once’ slaughtered.
The entire capital becoming a river of blood, the bloody scent lingering in the air, unable to disperse for three months, that really wasn’t just said for fun.
And Jing Wan slept late to begin with, so this while, fell back asleep in Li Hong Yuan’s arms. Not long after, she just sunk into her dreams. This time, it really was sleeping quite well.
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